Low-Fat Milk On The Rocks
@_Braam
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⚕️ | oya! ongeza maziwa kwa hio managu | macho nne | whoever has my voodoo doll please snap my neck 😐
kwa bush
Joined January 2014
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Pinned Tweet
maybe we should try killing one bird with two stones for a change.. 😐
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@IsmailAbramjee
Lmao somebody said this crowd bigger than Trump's inauguration crowd & i'm in tears
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someone expects me to ditch Bill Burr or Chappelle for this shit in the name of "supporting local acts" lmaoo y'all got jokes
COMEDIAN Eric Omondi emulates Embarambamba’s style of ‘dancing’.
“Embarambamba uko na shida,” he says.
VIDEO/COURTESY
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nyumba inakaa CIA black site ya ku waterboard innocent Afghanis buana
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but fellas mkipata chance hameni Nairobi, huku kwa bush the little you earn is enough to afford you a very comfortable & happy life full of open spaces, fresh food, clean air, chirping birds and endless supply of drama-free vagina
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Lmao this guys chartering choppers at $800-2000 per hour to go 'change the lives of the youth' with wheelbarrows na mkokoteni is the most hilarious thing that's happened this year
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kuna son amekua akifunzwa kuride nduthi tangu asubuhi sahii namuona kwa highway bila helmet amebeba gunia za waru
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bruh, what kind of toxic masculinity has this lil nigga just unlocked?? Jesus
10-year-old boy circumcises himself over lack of Ksh.1,000
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Lmao taking a jab at white people hair while wearing fake hair is hilarious as hell
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Nairobi will never reach Mombasa street food levels.. fuck ambience pale food ya 800 bob itabidi ukuje kubebwa na zile crane za kulift containers
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naona huko IG Luo woman ako south coast snorkeling with her new nigga while mimi niko Aberdare nacuddle ngumi haha nikama i was holding her back
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Lol i hate easter cuz hua inanikumbush those days when i was overly religious catholic church ikanibebesha msalaba kwa mvua kama Simon of Cyrene smfh
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wow, you just assumed the financial situation of that goat
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making Ruto president will be the worst thing we could ever do to ourselves, imagine having a bitter president.. Yikes
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sisi watu wa physics tunangoja kuskia your thoughts on how a bullet fired at close range travels though the human body using Bernoulli's Principle
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Citizen TV got random villagers in studio talking to us about corona virus while we have actual virologists who went to school for years just chilling at home LMAO
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millennial parents wanacomfort ati "he's gone to a better place" 😭
Jayden sai ndio wanaona mbuzi ikichinjwa wanaanza kulia ati mnaua wanyama
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leo niliitiwa impromptu vagina at very odd hours bro lol unaenda aje kuserve some cawk at 10:30am in the morning other normal humans wakijenga nchi smh
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Lol did these chics pause for a second & think maybe the reason they haven't been catching nuts is cuz they are loud & annoying as hell?? 😐
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your vagina has lactobacillus bacteria that produces lactic acid & hydrogen peroxide making the environment unsuitable for yeast to grow.. Antibiotics destroy the lactobacillus allowing the yeast cells to proliferate & cause an infection
Mbona dame akimaliza dosage ya antibiotics lazima fungal infection imfuate?
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Schrödinger's thot is crazy
In a quantum world, two realities can coexist at the same time. Anaeza kuwa she was a hoe, na bado she wasn't. See, if she never tells you and you never discover it, it never happened.
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you buy a couch & people start getting a little too comfortable in your space lol
This setup >>>>
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women when they taste accountability
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i was gonna brag about how beautiful my girl is until i realised how insensitive that would be to all the single, miserable niggas on this app
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mtoto anaenda kutishia beshte zake pale shule ati mamake ni polisi kumbe handcuffs aliona kejani ni za BDSM
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catholics hua tunaomba through a lot of middle men it's exhausting smh
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Lmao mwingine akajaribu kutuconvince uber driver alikua anamdara thighs akiwa back seat while simultaneously driving on the highway haha mental illness iko hii app is a psychiatrist's wet dream bro
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unatoka plantation umebeat af unapata yengs amekufuria cuz Idris Elba got married hahaha
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i'm glad there are niggas who willingly listen to them talk like that the whole day so i don't have to
Kumbe kubless mzinga siku hizi ni ushamba na instead of saying "Facts" mnasema "Factoid" 😂😂.
They're all elegant baddies tho, you can just tell hawaforce
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Kenyan universities have never disappointed in their yearly contribution to the unemployment pool, JKUAT are adding another 3500 to it.. good stuff
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this statement "covid is real" annoys tf out of me
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the feds
I was arrested last night and the feds stole my laptop
Bora niko safe nashukuru
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Lol why would Satan (the guy who supposedly runs hell & is a strong advocate for sinning) burn you in a fire to eternity for doing exactly what he's been advocating a for.. makes zero sense to me 😐
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Brain cell one: complement her
Brain cell two: no tell she looks nice
Mouth: ukona laptop imespoil..
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Lmao don't get attached to this chics cuz she's probably in 3 or 4 stable relationships simultaneously.. just play your role nicely, catch your nut whenever possible & keep ambulating son
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it's crazy how we've casually done 6 months of 2020 bro
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Luo woman amenionyesha vumbi ata pombe imekataa kuteremka kwa koo
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😂 idk who she is, but this is the funniest thing i've seen today
video courtesy
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Lol he escaped from prison, tuanzie hapo
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unamua kua progressive man unaanza game 1-0 kumbe mtoto tayari akona criminal record. Yikes
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that fraud Peter Kenneth hutokea from nowhere once every 4 years kama leap year
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Lool it's my birthday.. i should be having wild birthday sex tonight but i guess balloons on my profile & 1GB data from Safaricom is not so bad smfh. 🍻 HBD to me
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back in campus ulikua unarudi room ukiumwa na jaws after umecheka stale ass jokes za cool kid ndio awanunulie pombe 😭 those were dark days bro never again
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@edanto_
@evanstallam
haha mtoto wa fundi angespend aje na "all his riches were in heaven??"
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y'all fuck your followers then log in & have normal conversations with them like you haven't seen each others reproductive systems.. Yikes
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graduation gown ya 80k unaivaa kila siku kama cartoon character, tf??
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not a single woman in sight lmao patriarchy huku imeganda proper
Iranian lawmakers chant “death to America”
Iran, you run your government from a tent as you wear cheap hotel sheets.
You’re not a threat.
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Lmao Mwabili alikua busy akilipa fines siku ya ruracio akasahau kunegotiate cowgirl na reverse cowgirl kwa package
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@DavidKyaloM
@realDonaldTrump
Lmfao my mans out here tryna get that green card haha this ain't it chief
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unatoka plantation umechoka ka ghasia unapata yengs akona passive aggressive attitude inabidi muongee for hours about the issues that she's mad about alaf she expects you apologise & admit that you are wrong even though you've done nothing wrong.. Relationships ni ngumu bana
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Lmao don't forget the mysterious Blankets & Wine abuser is still at large, protected by the very people he allegedly abused
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Nonini was so nasty that one of his songs was the subject of debate in parliament lmaoo
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paid partnerships, complementary tickets & a few shirtless pics on sandy beaches got y'all thinking you have enough juice to tell Netflix how to run their ads
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in a suit?? Lol just say he was a house negro
Johnstone Kamau wa Ngegi (Jomo Kenyatta) in 1914,he was then working at a sisal farm in Thika via Mohamed Amin
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Lol what's so special about the LGBTQ people that they have to be accepted by everyone?? i'm straight, not everybody likes me & i'm perfectly okay with that.. also using the leader of the catholic church as your yardstick is just hilarious
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scrap useless things like religious education and start teaching kids about contraceptives, basic life support/first aid, road safety etc
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USIU niggas itabidi wadrop accents na kiburi kuavoid the draft haha
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unatoka mjengo unapata mattress imebaki nusu cuz majirani walichuna chuna wapanguze viatu na wakaoshe nayo vyombo 😭
Utatoa mattress nje alafu inyeshewe ulale umeketi kwa kiti ya plastic kama watchman 🤣🤣🤣
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they are in a refugee camp probably displaced by war but their god is worried about women covering their hair lmaooo religion is hilarious bro
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how this man still performs at the highest level at 38 years is crazy
Ronaldo went through this for 6 straight seasons & 3peated the Premier League.
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breh, soak some pineapples in vodka for a week then blend that shit with plain yoghurt & ice cubes.. inatwanga ajab!
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uko bitter kama krest cuz the niggas you ignored in your 20s moved on, made something out of themselves & now have preferences that don't include you 😂
go outside & touch some leaves boo
These 40 y/o who don't want to date women their age and are always going after campus girls and women below 25 years. There's a reason. Most of them are abusive. Toxic, manipulative, and abusive.
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He had a successful loan spell, gained lots of experience. expect him to feature prominently for Nigeria.. 😅
Muhammadu Buhari passed his medical & has rejoined Nigeria...
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female akifika kejani alaf aanze kusuck your dick immediately hio ndio head start??
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mmesahau the system killed someone's 6 month old daughter & we moved on like it's nothing
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work hard to afford yourself good health insurance. NHIF is a joke
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when you hitting it from the back & a spelling error on the fake deep tattooed on her ass messes up your rhythm..
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west mall twitter babes bado wanachase approval ya Tory Lanez lmaoo self esteem dash
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Lol Theo hua kamegas huyo wabosha na she's a strong 3.5 if we are being completely honest
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