Zach Justice
@ZachJustice
Followers
13,368
Following
1
Media
12
Statuses
210
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Cheney
• 487384 Tweets
Michigan
• 184932 Tweets
England
• 144945 Tweets
Ireland
• 121886 Tweets
MSNBC
• 69078 Tweets
الكويت
• 50822 Tweets
Lookman
• 44685 Tweets
Grealish
• 31738 Tweets
Arkansas
• 29132 Tweets
#MustafaKamalinAskerleriyiz
• 28690 Tweets
Kentucky
• 27555 Tweets
PLANETARIO FURIOSO
• 24085 Tweets
Iowa
• 22415 Tweets
#كاريزما63
• 19864 Tweets
Musiala
• 16749 Tweets
Penn State
• 16054 Tweets
Pedro Almodóvar
• 13526 Tweets
Ewers
• 12390 Tweets
#BaşkomutanErdoğan
• 11572 Tweets
Riya
• 10113 Tweets
“We’re waiting for marriage” so you’re getting on one knee so she’ll get on two? Women always have to do more…
27
107
2K
Yes I’m in your room. Yes I climbed through your open window. Yes I watched you sleep like a little sweet sweet baby angel. But YOU liked my story post. So what’s with calling the cops?
83
148
2K
You’re going to celebrate your 5 year anniversary with your boyfriend just to make me jealous. Baby girl, embarrassing.
48
34
1K
Baby girl this movie has a 93% on rotten tomatoes… keep your pants on.
41
74
1K
Literally me
33
48
1K
My Uber driver and I have caught each other’s gaze 3 times in the rear view mirror. Im going in for a neck kiss. Wish me luck.
24
26
1K
Remember guys today is a great day to prey on women with daddy issues. They’re vulnerable. Let’s feast!
75
101
1K
The men of old couldn’t fall asleep because they were in a wet fox hole with the battle of tomorrow on their mind… I can’t fall asleep because I can’t get Espresso by Sabrina Carpenter out of my head.
27
82
1K
I won’t forget a single false claim or anyone who backed it. I don’t hide and I get my get back. Stay safe.
42
14
1K
I make women stand for the pledge of allegiance before sex
43
45
1K
iPhoto never misses an opportunity to show me pictures of my ex.
25
21
854
Another night… another fist fight I have with my dark thoughts.
23
53
787
If I could bottle up the feeling of crawling in your bed after a long travel day… oooo-weee
13
18
780
If she orders spicier wings than you at Buffalo Wild Wings, she wears the pants in the relationship... AND SHE KNOWS IT
8
7
750
It’s the best feeling to tell a kid a joke everyone knows, but it’s the first time they’ve heard it, so they think you’re a comedic genius.
16
18
711
Women will put two sheets of paper in a pillowcase and call it comfort.
23
10
659
Spiders should have to do hard time for breaking and entering.
13
50
652
I don’t think people understand… if I was only taller, faster, stronger, a better shooter, better defender, could jump higher, had a higher basketball IQ, I’d literally be in the NBA.
17
24
642
I’d be doing things wrong if you didn’t
33
8
621
The battle between me and people with anime furry pfp is tough but I will fight my best fight.
21
19
614
Referees must have hate kinks because why would you ever sign up for that job.
15
20
609
Some of these idiots on this internet thing need to be put down like an old family dog. What happened to humans understanding people have different senses of humor.
23
26
596
Imagine not liking Italian food then choosing to eat at an Italian restaurant everyday and insisting on leaving a bad review. Thats what it’s like when you leave hate comments on content you don’t like.
14
18
534
People who can fall asleep 5 min after going to bed have a super power. My brain is like: “Ready for 3 hours of thinking about everything wrong you’ve ever done in your life?”
7
17
529
I left my phone in a public Wendy’s and Cosby found it and tweeted this…
Remember guys today is a great day to prey on women with daddy issues. They’re vulnerable. Let’s feast!
75
101
1K
26
6
512
Mob mentality is the downfall of individualism. People love to throw stones on an accusation, but won’t give you an ice pack for your bruises when they find out they were wrong.
15
16
499
This election should be decided by a game of water basketball
111
8
491
Anything he wanted. He would be my owner and walk me.
7
14
479
The ability for people to have zero critical thinking skills astonishes me. They will see things people clearly made up and just go with it because they can’t think for themselves. Assume the best in people… because the alternative is extremely toxic.
17
17
472
Do you think Kylie Jenner has ever said I’m about to Willy that Wonka to Tim?
24
17
402
If I was president I’d outlaw car crashes. It literally benefits no one.
10
2
393
Someone make a hinge where we can only see each others dogs
10
13
368
Crazy how I have to go slow for cyclists because they chose an annoying hobby.
26
12
342
Oh to be a wine drunk middle aged mother watching Facebook reels…
12
22
349
I’ve eaten oatmeal everyday for the past year, and I hate it every time. But I’m too loyal to switch up on it now. It’s me and you for life oaty 🤍
2
1
303
I know we’re friends but can we just kiss and not see other people…
10
30
300
If I was a creepy uncle at the club, I would lead with “Baby you got a body like an hour glass… so let’s spend some time together”
9
3
294
If I put on a movie that has an 82% or higher on rotten tomatoes you hoes better keep your pants on because I’m here for the plot, not to plow.
8
17
295
SPOILER ALERT: At the end of inside out 2… Gwyneth Paltrow‘s head was in the box.
26
8
272
I hope I become emotionally available in my next software update
5
40
262
Kinda just depressed today…
Dated this girl named Abby in the second grade. She moved schools. We lost contact but technically never broke up. Well just found her on Instagram and she’s married. Unfaithful whore!!
6
6
253
Everyone’s depressed… it’s officially not cool anymore. Now I have to be happy to be different.
4
13
209
Mom you a real one for letting a doctor slice you open to allow me to come out of you. Sorry I didn’t come out naturally, just seemed a little gross to me at the time. Like that’s where my dad put his you know what… and idk just couldn’t do it. Happy Mothers Day!
5
4
191
Not only does he not respect women… he knows nothing about them
5
4
187
Girl broke my heart so bad I almost wished on a star to take away women’s right to vote… held back. Better be glad I’m a good person.
3
7
183
Fellas post on your story you’re listening to Taylor’s Version. Trust me.
6
11
175
Setting up my mom on three blind dates this week. GETTING SO CLOSE TO HAVING A NEW DADDY EVERYONE!!!
5
3
175
If lebron lost to Serbia he’d be called LeBronze the rest of his life.
19
3
182
You’re in her DM’s. I’m watching her do her night time routine through her bedroom window. We’re not the same buddy…
8
5
160
Baby girl I’m trying to flip you over and slam you on this table like I’m the first one done with my minute math test
1
10
166
Everyone shames Disney Adults… what about Harry Styles adults? I think they should be the next target.
11
8
166
Nothing makes you feel more poor than walking up to your friends Tesla and not knowing how to get in…
5
2
161
I can never make her happier than a Dyson air wrap styler and I need to come to terms with that…
4
4
157
She’s so down bad she doesn’t call me daddy… she calls me a founding father
2
3
153
I didn’t even come close to being abducted as a kid… why wasn’t I good enough… was it looks or personality??
2
9
154
Growing up is realizing when your parents said “It’s that phone making you depressed” that they were right…
4
5
153
Creating my own dating show where I put all my ex’s in a group chat and see if any of them want me back.
6
3
153
So I was scrolling through instagram and noticed my high school crush is engaged... and I feel real offended because I’ve been pretending to date you in my mind for YEARS and it’s a little rude that you would just throw that all away... but whatever... DO YOU I GUESS
4
5
148
I asked my Grandma (who’s been married for 45 years) “what’s the secret to a long relationship?” She looks at my Grandpa and says, “Long relationships start with a long ———” My Grandpa responded with “Ayyoooo” then they high fived... and now I want to throw up...
3
1
150
My parents are such jokesters. When I was 4 they told me “we are getting a divorce” it’s been 20 years and they are STILL keeping up with the bit hahaha. You guys got me!! you can get back together now 🥲
3
2
148
Mom stop getting divorces I’m so confused on who I call daddy.
7
1
146
I tapped your head in duck duck goose sweetheart... of course I’m interested
1
4
145
Is this true? Someone told me to only shampoo once a week so I don’t get rid of my hair’s natural oils and vinegars
17
2
141
The front camera is like a toxic ex that pops up at the worst moments to ruin your day
4
12
137
In middle school I told my friend to go tell my crush I liked her. Later in the day she passed me a note that said “Sorry we can’t date your head looks like a fish bowl.” And I still think about it to this day. WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN CYNTHIA?? Not cool...
2
2
135
Anyone wanna come over and watch Netflix together? Then continue to develop feelings for each other that leads us to dating for two years? Then slowly fall out of love, eventually hate each other, break up, and remain emotionally scarred?
7
6
137
Y’all got any decaf depression? The regular stuff is a bit strong.
7
15
137
If I had a time machine I would go back and lose my virginity to who let the dogs out.
4
0
135
When I lost my virginity… she whispered in my ear, “turn my guts inside out like a war victim.” And boy my performance must have been underwhelming.
8
3
137
Ladies I shouldn’t be saying this but… if we tell you we don’t think you should cut your hair short. We’re in love with you.
4
5
129
If the TV volume being on an odd number *triggers you*… Natural selection would’ve easily taken you out 1000 years ago.
4
1
133
In grammar, two negatives make a positive. In a relationship they absolutely do not.
4
2
135
She literally viewed one of my 8 Instagram stories... So yes I’m pretty sure she wants to get married.
2
0
132
Sure she hasn’t texted me back in weeks and never responds to my snaps. But she viewed my Instagram story today so I’m pretty sure she wants me.
6
2
130
My mom made me think people would try to kidnap me all the time as a kid. Not even one attempt. Was I an ugly kid or...?
6
10
130
There are two types of people. Ones who unpack their suitcase immediately after vacation and ones who wait so long they’re already packed for the next one.
4
0
128
My grandpa called it LGBTQ-LMNOP but his heart was in the right place haha
4
2
131
I’ve been used more than a kissing booth at an Alabama family reunion.
5
2
130
In high school I asked my girlfriend what kind of flowers I should get for prom. She said “Depends on who you’re going with” that’s the day I found out my girlfriend was my ex girlfriend...
4
1
126
My 5 year old cousin asked me if me and my girlfriend were still together... I said “no we broke up” he said “it’s because you didn’t learn to love her feelings”.... I looked at him for a second, then pushed him down and walked away... I don’t need to hear that.
3
4
129
I’m literally the best at being humble. Honestly better than anyone else.
4
8
129
Just rewatched the entire Hannah Montana series. I know it’s a stretch but I think Miley Stewart is Hannah Montana.
2
2
126
Dentist: Have you been flossing?
Me: Of course.
(Meanwhile my gums look like a vampires wet dream)
3
1
125
In middle school, when your crush only writes “have a gr8 summer” in your yearbook
4
3
126