︎ًLevi
@WittyLevi
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I’m not real, just a mf tweeting
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Pinned Tweet
Try Oraimo, it gets pregnant after a certain period.
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Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow up more iconic.
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I’m not photogenic, I get a good picture once every 6 months.
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Sexual tension is really funny. Both of you know that you want to devour each other, but you continue to pretend and deceive yourselves 😂
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This😂
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The insult I hate the most is “Who is this clown?” because it suggests two things:
(a) I’m a clown, and
(b) I’m not even one of the well known clowns.
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Bringing phone to school those days was like smuggling drugs into a country.
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You’re reading proverb and you realise you are that fool that’s being consistently talked about.
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“Go back and cut that hair”
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I’m texting you now you’re not replying, don’t worry EPL is coming.
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She undermined my ability to cheat.
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According to the way I planned my life when I was small, today was supposed to be my wedding day.
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Need to start taking more pictures, this my ghost era lifestyle has to end.
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"How is mummy and daddy?"
For talking stage? You sabi them before??
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Isaac Newton was wild, instead of saying I like them thick he said the greater the mass, the greater the force of attraction.
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Trying to clown your guy in front of babes for laughs
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A good camera can make you think some girls are out of your league, until you meet them man to man.
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“Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are”
Omo if I show you my friends you go dey confused.
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I am a proof that a person can survive without good morning, I love you and good night texts.
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If you see me sleeping in the afternoon, no wake me up. I no wetin I dey do.
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😂😂😂
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@DiscussingFilm
Kendrick Lamar performing ‘Not Like Us’ to the world at the Super Bowl. Might be the greatest diss of all time, I fear.
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"My God will judge you"
As if mine won't be present in court that day.
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Breasts may fall over time, but once your ass is fat, it’s fat for life.
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"My mum is here, should I give her the phone?"
When did that one start??
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“I know my child”
This is one of the funniest things a parent can say.
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There should be a day set aside where lecturers and students fight.
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We didn’t talk all semester doesn’t mean you won’t show me your answer in exam hall
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Drop the date naw 😭
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“You look like a fuck boy”
You look like a runs girl too my dear.
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They’ll take your babe out this weekend again. And you won’t know.
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Anytime I remember how I dressed in 100 level I feel like vomiting.
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When you give your phone to a child to play with, and they ask, “How do I play Binance?”
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I don’t care if you’re shy in real life, all the nasty things you said in the Dm, we must do it when we meet.
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My roommate wakes up and, doesn’t check if his body is functioning well, the next thing is to open his laptop to play Football Manager.
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Imagine calling someone broke just because they can’t buy you what you can’t buy for yourself.
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Fast replies, long conversations, typing in full and using emojis >>>
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Blocking you isn’t enough, I need to tell your parents what you did.
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I will do everything my mom asks, except ironing her church cloth that has many stones.
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I accidentally pronounced bedsheet as ‘bayshit’
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Stop creating imaginary enemies in your head. Nobody really has your time.
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I’m that friend that everyone’s parent loves because I look innocent.
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People are very harsh on Rashford, all he needs is a good coach that will advise him to retire.
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There’s nothing as disgusting as hearing your own voice in a recording.
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Told myself I won’t text this babe again, but her ass is bigger than my pride🤧
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Don’t get too attached with anyone, remember that you want to leave the country.
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The truth is everyone knows who they love and who they are deceiving.
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Fear women not avoid women because if we catch you dey do homo we go beat you!!!
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Your sugar daddy is lowkey praying not to have a daughter like you.
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Don’t worry, you’ll soon find out how your babe take dey fresh without your money.
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I tried making custard, ended up creating juice.
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This babe with big navel got piercings.
Now it looks like a grenade💀
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My life is so boring, no goodnight texts, no good morning texts. I just wake up and go to sleep like that.
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When you start spending your own money, you’ll realize how expensive you are.
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Some girls will look good all year, only to ruin it with excessive makeup on their birthday 🤧
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They’ll take your girl out again this weekend, and you still won’t know.
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“Disappear for 6 months”
No try am, you fit disappear make you no reappear again.
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A babe with glasses + lipgloss + a nice shape is an irresistible combo.
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Asking me if I miss you when you literally gave me nothing to miss is mind blowing.
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Inside your squad, another squad still dey wey dey commot you for settings.
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