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@WetForJesus
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—(っ◔◡◔)っSinger of Closure in Moscow⊂(･ω･*⊂)— .*.｡*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧𝕎𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕪 𝕠𝕟 𝕋𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕔𝕙.𝕥𝕧✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ﾟ+
Melbourne, Victoria
Joined January 2018
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Send us removal request.
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Oh my fucking FUCKETY SUCK GUYS, I just got partnered and I’m literally shaking right now and my anus just prolapsed and I’m screaming and crying and shaking, literally shaking, my pubes just spontaneously ignited and the smell is making me gag! I’m screaming as I write this!
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A dude on his birthday posting his W.
I’m in the best shape and the most fit I’ve ever been in my life. Hype me the fuck up.
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I haven’t really mentioned anything on here about
@ClosureInMoscow
record since it released.
Well…
#1
on the AIR 100% indie chart.
#6
on the ARIA Australian album chart.
Thank you so much to everyone from the stream that’s followed along and shown just unbelievable support x
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Here’s a juicy little nug from my
#streamstar
submission on
@TwitchSings
Can never touch the majesty of Freddie but I give it a red hot fang nonetheless 🎤✨
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Some of you have been following along for this journey for a long fucking time now. I can’t believe it’s actually finished and can be revealed. Get around it!!! 🤙
Our new record, Soft Hell, is available for pre-order now.
You can also pre-save the lead single, Better Way, which drops March 10
We’re incredibly excited to finally be able to share this with you ❤️
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Can't believe I can finally share this with everyone. New Closure track and video, hope you think it's as much of a banger as we do x
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“Hello Fellow Twitch Friends, I’m Twitch Ambassador Wetford jesus. Here At Twitch we Discorage EVIL👿 Latvian🇱🇻slots. TRUE patriots🇺🇸 keep it on American soil. Keep it 💯, show respect 2 our solidiers💪 at your local Moose Lodge🐪🎰 and get the kids back outside!”
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To any regular watchers of the show, apologies for being patchy at the moment. I’m in the process of moving back home and I’ve been taking a little time to focus on myself. I hope you understand sometimes you gotta hit the brakes on some things for the benefit of others ❤️🔥
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It was a good take 😲🥁
Can’t wait for you cunts to hear these tracks, it’s the realest shit Closure has ever put down...
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Someone in chat today tried to parrot the "mosquitoes through a chain link fence" argument against masks... If you're dumb enough to think that that simpleton analogy makes any sense, smash that mf unfollow now fam, you're a lost fucking cause.
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Don't be afraid of your own potential.
This is all a dream and you're already dead so just do awesome shit before the dream is over and it goes back to being like the dream never happened. Cast away your self doubt because it's a bullshit construct and you are pure magic.
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Over 20k raised for the Koalas thanks to the Cuntforce community. FUCKING YUGE. Thanks everyone for hanging out and tipping in, and thank you
@WWF_streamers
for fighting the good fight with us 👊
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Ghost ridin’ the WIP 👻
I think this could be a lead single.
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My Nonna just said she’d sit passenger while I do “wheelies” in the Coles carpark. What a bad bitch 😂
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You’ve gotta have some fucking weapons grade cognitive dissonance going on, to watch that interview, and still deem that absolute cooked unit of a human, fit to lead a nation of 330mil people 🤯
I truly cringe in horror for you cunts.
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Disco Elysium... The best writing and story telling I've ever experienced in a video game. PERIOD. I laughed, I cried, I was always compelled. I just want more of anything in that world, anything at all. What a world it is.
Final score: 69,000,000,000,000/10
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After one sesh with Disco Elysium I'm giving it a premature 45/10. It's gonna have to drop the ball prettayyy fucking hard to disappoint at this juncture. The most thought provoking and at times, genuinely laugh out loud hilarious writing I've ever experienced in a game.
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Dear anyone that gives half a shit about the current lack of streams,
I’m in the throes of moving house and the process sucks a moderate amount of raw dog dick but mission control will be online again soon.
Thanks for your patience 😊
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At the end of the day, all that matters is love. And if you let fear destroy love you’re destroying a piece of your soul. So love bravely and don’t let fear lead you to regret.
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Waking up to see streamers actually pissy about the sub cost drop...
You fucking sooks.
For once Twitch make a decision that at face value, seems like it’s based on taking less cash, but have no doubt crunched the numbers on the uptick being proportional.
What will happen here:
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Some board game collection porn for all you nerdy degenerates that get off to that sort of thing. Behold 🤓
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US TOUR DONEZO 🇺🇸✨
Every show was fucking amazing.
Thanks to everyone for turning up and going fucking HARD.
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This is the most inspiring and endearing person in global politics.
God bless
@VerminSupreme
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We’ve done it again. We can’t stop droppin hectic tracks. Give it a fang rn 😎
‘KEEPER OF THE LAKE’ OUT NOW!
'Keeper of the Lake' is the third single from Closure in Moscow's forthcoming album 'Soft Hell.'
Follow Closure in Moscow across all socials and pre-order 'Soft Hell' here:
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After some diplomacy with Belgium and guerrilla warfare with a Spanish Facebook meme group, we achieved wetPRAY, in it’s rightful place next to King Zyzz.
Best MMO RTS ever 10/10
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Thanks to chat’s generosity there’s a set of vanity plates in the mail that let everyone know I’m the coolest Prius driver on the mean streets of Melbourne. Cheers guys 🚙✨
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Stupid shit knock-off Rotom Dex from eBay dumb idiot cheap piece o crap 😡 I’m leaving negative feedback.
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You ever have one of those days where you sing on stream about "liquor, chems and whores a plenty" at the top of your lungs for 10 minutes, because an NPC in a game said it, only to realize that you left your window open for the neighbors to hear without context?
Yeah, me either.
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Be a sick cunt and support conservation with the Cuntforce. It’s our return to form for a great cause, as if you don’t wanna be there 😎
In 24 hours from now...
The C**Force will begin their week of charity streams for
@WWF_Australia
to Keep Koalas Climbing.
@CodyHargreaves
/
@WetForJesus
/
@derriskharlan
You don't want to miss this.
🐨
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To anyone that witnessed the glorious My Summer Car stint, I present to:
💖 MY SUMMER CONTROLLER 💖
Modeled after the finest waifu-mobile in Finland. PERKELE!
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I'm retiring from streaming and marrying a Saudi Arabian drift driver. See you trackside!
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I put my jazz on, go into a trance, ten past six, come out of the trance, go to the pub. That’s my day.
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I officially throw down the gauntlet:
@CodyHargreaves
@derriskharlan
- Release day. Torment in HD.
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I hope everyone’s enjoying KFC’s Soulless Corporation Propaganda Simulator that released today. So whacky and random and cool lol, can’t wait to stream it and have them earn their social currency through me 🤪
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Shinji! You’ve gotta break through Santa’s A.T. Field or these kids won’t get their presents!
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I. Fucking. Love. This. Song.
It’s the best song ever..... PERIOD.
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Bout to drop that 🔥🔥🔥 debut solo rap album.
BORN 2 SHILL || OUT NEXT WEEK
Proudly sponsored by Adani Group, look out for their 🔥 coal mine dropping soon yewwwwww 🤙
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We now live in a time where a restaurant chain will release a product, knowing full well it's absurd, horrendous trash, because the viral meme factor alone will pay dividends, and cunts like me will play right into it. Well played you disgusting, diabolical, chicken vampires.
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tear my body open wide
im open wide when im dancing with the dead
i just killed another night
but my loves gotta show me a better way❤️🔥
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This is Becca, head nun and new mascot of the Church of the Wet. She's pious, faithful, and tracks really well with the Christian demographic. Hoping to snag some new corporate
#sponsors
with her inclusion in proceedings!
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Dropped another hektosh track. The video is cool with AoT and Yu-Gi-Oh easter eggs. Get around Primal Sinister 🔥🩸🔥🩸🔥
PRIMAL SINISTER IS OUT NOW
Listen and watch here:
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Beyond the cyclical consumerism, I want to hate on Christmas, but only because it puts a focal lens on how unhappy I am with how my life is.
So in spite of that knee jerk feeling
FUCK YEAH CHRISTMAS🎄
FUCK YEAH YOU GUYS❤️
Hug those you love like it’s the last time & get merry x
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Finally.
I Am Jesus Christ is a real game based on the New Testament. Watch the announcement trailer here:
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To any of you cunts that were hanging out today, thank you for showing that we all have each other’s backs a lot more than I allow myself to realize a lot of the time. (1/2)
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The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over, we'd survived
I couldn't wait 'til I got home
To pass the time in my room alone
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mY pEa BrAiN eXpEcTaTiOnS aNd LuSt FoR NoStAlGiA nOt MeT, gAmE bAd & GiRl ToO mUsCly. If I aCcEpT sHe Is NuAnCeD ChArAcTeR wIv CoMpLeTeLy HuMaN mOtIvAtIoNs PeOpLe MiGhT tHiNk i'M gAy AnD tHaT's BaD 0/10
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A corporate muppet advising talent on how to mold their brand to best inform people wanting to profit from it. If that’s your primary concern as a streamer you’re a fuckwit anyway... Vom.
Streamers/Influencers:
You're unwittingly hurting yourself by calling yourself a variety streamer.
What you think it means: "I play games other than Fortnite/Apex"
What it means to PR/CMs: "Streamer hasn't found their audience yet, and isn't consistent with what they play."
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What’s your go to comfort show that makes everything feel alright?
8 out of 10 Cats Does Countdown has become salve for my soul. My dry, British happy place 😅
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As much as I’m feeling the pangs of shame and embarrassment wanting to take hold, you guys made it clear that being real and showing that vulnerability never warrants those feelings. Thanks for sharing yours too... Shouldering it together definitely lightens the load. (2/2)
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My Roman ancestor Wetticus Octavius 🔱
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Today was absolutely bonkers crazy and a little overwhelming. Big ups to the
@TwitchSings
crew for letting me trot out my nonsense so prominently as a representation of the hijinx they’ve made possible.
All you regzo apostles, you’re all legends and today was just as much yours x
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