Vacation Bible School Podcast 🏳️🌈
@VBSpodcast
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Two former youth group kids, @jasonkirk_fyi & @haha_its_mle , crash-coursing the Bible. For believers/non-believers/whoever!
Big Big Yard
Joined April 2020
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You know who else went into the blue sky
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Twitter Many centuries of history
🤝
Is this the real pope or not
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“Who told you that you were naked?” asked the LORD God. “Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?”
And the man answered, “This is a HIPAA violation.”
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Jesus: Forgive debtors, even if you've worked harder than they have
Evangelicals: That's a metaphor
Jesus: Rich people deserve punishment, not the Kingdom
Evangelicals: That's a metaphor
Jesus: Here's a story about invisible monsters
Evangelicals: That's literal
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@Charliemagne
True except for Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, all the other books that mention Egypt, Samuel, Kings, Ezekiel, Jeremiah, Zechariah, Chronicles, Luke, Revelation,
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[strums guitar]
Hey teens,
you know Who else had a big 12 that had to invite new membership after people got all greedy
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if only we had a story, told from four different angles, about whether jesus became violent when the governor told him he can't preach jesus is lord
Lauren Boebert says she carries a gun to defend her right in case the Governor comes to her door and tells her she “can’t preach Jesus is Lord.”
Umm... Jesus disciples didn’t kill people who told them not to preach anymore.
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This quote comes from the prophet Samuel, a manipulator who dreaded losing power
Netanyahu: "You must remember what Amalek has done to you, says our Holy Bible"
1 Samuel 15:3
"Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass"
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Actually God invented cancel culture
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This piece of paper is actually a Liberty University School of Law diploma
One of my best and oldest friends broke up with his high school girlfriend over a decade ago. Today, his wife of 7 years found this absolute ornament in their mailbox.
Just...stop what you're doing and read...🤯🤯🤯
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[strums guitar]
Meta? No thanks. I've already meta Man from Galilee
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Liberty University: where everyone likes to watch
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Peter's time to shine
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This account but it's the pharaoh's tweets about all the plague frogs being holograms
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God's instructions on how to build an ark that will preserve all life on earth:
Rectangle (large)
God's instructions on how to set up a tabernacle full of pleasant meat smells:
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Happy Easter
Happy Trans Day of Visibility
There, that was easy
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Which prophet is your pastor quoting on Sunday
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The *actual* sin of Sodom and Gomorrah was financial greed and hoarding wealth
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[strums guitar]
Hey teens
Let me tell you about the Account that will never forsake its followers
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Everyone on Facebook was raptured. Everyone on Twitter has been left behind. Your first three @'s are your Tribulation Force. Will you last all seven years
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"Peter said, 'You are the Messiah.' Then Jesus warned them not to tell anyone."
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This man took part in *two* flights from Egypt
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Not exactly a strong coaching tree for Joshua here
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[strums guitar]
Hey teens, all this talk about the reddit market, but have you read it? Mark, that is?
You like stories about rich shorts getting exposed? Let me tell you the story of Zaccheus
Time to get serious with the Lord and let the games stop: Power to the Prayer
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[strums guitar]
Hey teens, instead of MCU WandaVision, it’s time to Want A Vision and let Him See You (He does anyway, omniscient). Can I tell you about how Scars Let (that) Which was old and gray become new and colorful
Also all husbands must be baptized even if they're robots
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To be clear the story of the Good Samaritan isn't about killing anybody, actually
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[strums guitar]
I know Somebody in the top 0.01% of listening to *you*
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Aaron when Moses saw the Golden Calf
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[strums guitar]
Hey teens, after Verzuz, it's time for verses
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Then the LORD said to Cain, "Where is your brother Abel?"
"I don't know," Cain replied. "If he's experienced an ailment of some sort, asking me about it is a HIPAA violation."
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Jesus' two favorite things, famously, were of course marginalization and indebtedness
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💡 EPISODE ONE: DIRTBAG ADAM VS ROOKIE GOD, by
@thejasonkirk
and
@haha_its_mle
Apple, Stitcher, Google, Spotify pages coming soon
RSS:
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Jesus: The last shall be first
Your uncle: Oh here we go again with the participation trophies
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"Satan is the one who makes people cover their bodies" is huge news for youth groups everywhere
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My daughter (9) asked me how to open this. Time for a teachable moment
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Pilate: I will abide by the results of this poll
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Hey teens, celebrating Karl Marx Day huh, well do you know Who invented seizing the means of production
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The incredibly rare "good AI image"
AI created image from the phrase, “Jesus flipping over the tables in the temple.”
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Christians who spend all your time wishing the government would punish you for following your beliefs: simply start doing THIS sort of thing
Chris Avell, the pastor of Dad's Place in Bryan, Ohio, was arraigned in court on January 11 for charges related to building code violations after he kept his church open to provide warmth and shelter for unhoused individuals. He pleaded not guilty to the alleged violations.
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That's right
Get in losers, have you heard the Good News? Heaven is a classless state.
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Biblically accurate ✅
Jesus said his sheep are the people who take care of each other, while goats are just selfish
Matthew 25
"I think it is time where God is separating the sheep from the goats....I'm a goat. Because I am not a sheep. I'm not doing what they tell me to do. I'm fighting against it (the vaccine)."
In Alabama -- the state with the lowest vaccination rate in the nation. w/
@Sarah_Boxer
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The Bible's modesty verses still aren't about shaming leggings, bra straps, or short skirts
They're still about avoiding the flaunting of wealth
Will be sure to update if this fact ever changes
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All genders are made in God’s image. Happy Easter 🏳️⚧️
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We will now finish at least $1,000 ahead of Liberty University, as usual
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Jesus in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John
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Right-wing Christians in June: I found a Bible verse that says pride is a sin
Right-wing Christians in July: I can have a lot of pride to be an American, as a treat
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Hey dad it's me, your son Esau
!⃝ 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗺 𝗶𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗽𝘂𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆 𝗘𝘀𝗮𝘂.
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🗣 Jesus is a girl rabbit
I had to go back and take a picture because I knew nobody would believe that this is a real sign outside Atlanta.
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There was a take in August about how God can't hear your prayers if you're wearing a mask. This God is really easily foiled
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Can I tell you about someone we killed off that we later realized we needed
George R.R. Martin admitted to 'Outlander' writer Diana Gabaldon that he wrote himself 'into a corner' with 'The Winds of Winter'
“Have you ever killed someone off that you later realized you needed?”
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Youth group TikTok
🤝
Dancing without moving lower body
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“Do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
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PS5?
[strums guitar]
Gang it’s time to talk about the original Ps. 5
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What happens on 12/31/2021
Not wearing a mask is now a religion
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"Lord, my haters are huge trash" -- like 30% of Psalms
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In the spring, when kings go out to battle, King David remained in Jerusalem. Late one afternoon when he rose from his couch, he saw from the roof a woman
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As for me and my house we stand with Veggie Tales
Phil Vischer (creator of Veggie Tales) accuses me and the Creation Museum of “the rejection of mainstream science” in his new video called “What is an Evangelical.” The truth is Vischer falsely calls evolution and Big Bang “science” when they’re nothing but the pagan religion...
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Verse of the day, January 20: Psalm 109:11
May creditors seize all that he has, and may strangers plunder his wealth
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Ecclesiastes walking a little taller tonight
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@govkristinoem
Combine all the Bible’s antagonist gods into one composite guy named Satan, and *still* the only cool thing that guy ever did was scare people like you
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@JerryFalwellJr
@GovernorVA
Gonna wear this to celebrate the only noteworthy moment in Liberty University history
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"This was the sin of Sodom: having a lot of stuff, but not aiding the poor and needy." Ezekiel 16
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Just donated a biblically accurate $420.69 to a wonderful cause
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.
@MiCocina_TexMex
My wife, date night after 3+ months locked up on quarantine. Waiting for shredded cheese as it’s the only way she can eat fajitas. We’ve asked 4 people, going on 18 minutes now. Just unreal at Allen, TX location. We gotta quit blaming
#COVID19
for crappy service
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This chapter doesn't discuss vaccination but does explain how to handle a "donkey falling in neighbor's pit" dispute
One of the things that struck me from the anti-vax march in DC today was the appeal to violence.
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The story of the Good Samaritan isn't about following the impulse to get involved. It's about overcoming the impulse to view another human as anything less than your neighbor
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