Umar Saif Parody
@UmarSaifParody
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Following
153
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30
Statuses
372
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This is to inform you that on my instructions, twitter was shut down in Pakistan as means to combat fake news.
Twitter will not be back up until I have personally verified all your tweets by inserting them in my Great Advanced Artificial Nueral Debunker. (Do not abbreviate it).
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@NidaParody
Thank you for remembering me in hard times. I, too, have been unable to forget you. They are torturing me here by forcing me to listen to "savli saloni" on repeat. Reminds me of your kaala mu every time I hear those words. Which doubles the feeling of torture.
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Attended a high level strategic meeting of PMLN executive comittee. Here are some photos.
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Fake Nida Kirmani blocked me before the real one 🤣
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I have asked the judge to transfer me to a different jail cell on grounds that my current cell-mate keeps referring to my butt crack as the Durand Line.
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Our 5000 year old Afghan civilization teaches us to be kind to all Pashtuns with white skin nomatter what race or color they are.
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Can we just go back to white countries invading African and Middle Eastern countries?
Very confused about who to support in Russia Ukraine war. Both sides have white skin.
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Local journalist tries to prove kkkrupshan of a PTI politician. Accidentally proves that he was lobbying for Kashmir and advancing country's national interests out of his own pockets.
What an absolute chad Bilal Ghaffar is. Hatss off
PTI Sindh MPA Bilal Ghaffar hired services of two LLCs - Kashmir Action Network (KAN) and Chinar Consulting - operated by Carin Jodha Fischer from January 2021 to December 2021. Each LLC was paid $3500 each monthly. 1/2
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With great regret, I have to inform you that twitter has rejected my request for verified tick mark, despite the fact that I provided them with my DNA test, ancestry documents and even bank transaction reciepts from Ashraf Ghani proving im 100% verified Afghan.
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Report this fake account of Mohsin Dawar trying to spread disinformation with his
#freealiwazir
hashtag.
All other MNAs are being sold for 20 crore, why sell the Pashtun MNA for free? More marginalization!
#AliWazirFor20Crore
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Warden to me while im eating my prison food: "who is the daalkhor now?"
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Its so amazing that Aurat March will tweet for Ali Wazir and Bilawal Bhutto but not for Nazim Jokhio's widow. An actual AURAT who was forced to "forgive" the people who destroyed her family and murdered her husband.
Send me ur CNIC and bank details to receive $2 million TT 🔥🔥
We condemn the political circus that has erupted due to the fragile masculine ego of a person who has sabotaged democratic processes just to save the perception of his individuality and to stage a dirty manoeuvre for his comeback to power.
#NoConfidenceMotion
#AuratMarch2022
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Twitter is banned because of a critical flaw in the algorithm where you instantly get blocked by a girl as soon as you ask for her feet pics. Many of my late night research projects got affected due to it.
Once twitter solves this technical glitch, I will be happy to unblock it.
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Ppl ask me why PTM adopted red cap as its symbol. Backstory in front of it is that I discussed with American human rights activist how Punjabi Kalias are poluting our sceneries with their faces He said "wow you are one red cap away from being complete racist lunatics!"
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@BeimaanZHazir
Blatant disregard of Pashtun voices in 23rd march parade is evident from the fact that there is very little demonstration of drones, even though my comrade Mohsin Dawar has told them that Drones R D Best.
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It's down....for now at least. Thanks to everyone who reported.🎉🎉🎉
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No need to celebrate 23rd March. On this day, Punjabi kalias created this artificial country.
So what if without Pakistan we would be stuck in India, forever at mercy of people like Modi? At least we would be a natural country with natural boots to lick.
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After "dil ka rishta", ive decided to launch another app called "Beti ka rishta" for all the uncles who keep giving you unsolicited career advice.
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I guess I will support Ukraine because they are using more drones and as my friend
@mjdawar
puts it, "Drones D best".
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Yet another example of this fascist regime depriving Pashtuns of their rights is the fact that I am locked up in jail, deprived of my right to visit Sindh House and recieve my 20 crore rupees.
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I would request all feminist activists, including
@AyeshaImranKha5
and miss
@NidaParody
to discuss the dangers of fairness creams. Specifically how they help toor makhiya Punjabis look like pashtuns and infiltrate our organisations.
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Classic technique to spread fear. 1-2 people of his choice who overshared on their TLs will be used as proof to convince you to not mess with him as he has some supernatural doxxing skills 🤣🤣🤣
Here is an open challenge: tu chutya tera khandan chutya. Ab kar mujhe expose.
Ok abusive troĺls, from now onwards i'm going to start from your date of birth and will end with making sure your families get to know about all your activities.
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For several months, I have been in jail for peacefully threatening to tie soldiers necks to barbed wires and drag them across the road.
But this jail will not stop my struggle for human rights. I will continue to raise my voice through all peaceful means.
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Its been 14 minutes since I tweeted but our peaceful and legitimate demand still hasn't been met by these Punjabis. I shall gather 1000 people and do a peaceful riot outside a checkpost.
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A colleage forwarded this to me soon after Peshawar blast. This is all i could think about the whole day. So aptly sums up everything I felt today. 💔💔💔
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I work in HR for an international firm. Thank you for telling us recruiters where to poach underpaid talent from. Your Pakistani employees will be at the top of my list.
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Truth resonates with masses.
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Thank you for giving me attention. Thats what I am most deprived of these days.
Nowadays I dream of doing what my mentor and hero did, take off from my house in a helicopter full of cash and retire into a luxury pent house in Dubai.
But punjabi kalia police doesn't let me out.
@AliWazirParody
Now that Mohsin has dumped u and Manzoor made a deal with PPP kido ! What r u looking forward in life ! No new slogan even ?
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Gen Bajwa went to LUMSU to update Nida Kirmani's software lekin aisa lag raha hai wahan auditorium me band kar key bajwa ka apna software update kar dya LUMSU walon ne.
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With due respect, you and your party were also on TV and on streets from November to March pressuring the former government to do the exact opposite of the actions you eventually had to take.
We haven't forgotten your "aam admi 150 ka petrol kese afford karey ga" in January.
We were burning through $3 billion in forex due to repayments & financing of the current account. Without that lender-of-the-last-resort IMF & belt tightening, June or July was the limit of our solvency. We had to act resolutely and raise prices.
My column
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Thank you Mian Saanp for your trust in me. You have so much in common with my hero Ghani baba, who also looted his country and fled in an aircraft.
If we work together, we can truly make Pakistan the next Afghanistan.
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Friendship ended with ali wazir. Now maqsood chaprassi is my new best friend.
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When Azad Chaiwala tells you that a qulfi falooda seller makes more money than university graduates, BELIEVE HIM.
I know a Qulfi falooda seller who has billions in his bank account.
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I agree with IK. Jitni khubsoorti Pakistan me hai, itni or kahi nahi hai.
Aap khud batayen,
@ManzoorPaskeen
se ziada khubsoorat bacha ap ne kahin dekha hai?
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Yar koi mere platelets ki bhi report bana do kab se andar para hua hun.
10 followers and i'll tell you the story why my mom loves counting platelets.
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Police under most liberal, tolerant progressive party, in the super tolerant "land of sufis" is standing by and watching as innocent businessmen get butchered for their ethnicity. Laanat tum sab pe madarchod bharwey randey ki bachey.
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In retrospect, "beggers are not choosers" wasn't a good election campaign slogan.
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@baji_shagufta
@D34DLyD4DDy
@fieryfeline_
Well, Maria B she didn't say she wants to ban him or jail him or anything such. She just wants her impressionable young kids to not be influenced by Mehrub. That's all.
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Strongly condemn the attack on my colleague & mian sb's body guard.
You should not hit anyone on head. What if instead of empty head he had a brain in that head and it got damaged?
Strongly condemn the attempted attack on Mian
@NawazSharifMNS
by an unidentified individual outside his office in London.
Pictured below is
#NawazSharif
's bodyguard who got injured trying to protect the former PM.
@metpoliceuk
should take immediate notice.
#ImranKhan
#London
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This is my favorite Nida Kirmani parody account.
If Altaf Bhai were giving the speech today he surely would have sang ‘chitti ayee hai ayee hai, chitti ayee hai.’ Too bad IK can’t carry a tune the same way.
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I request Pakistan authorities to produce all missing persons before the court of law, including
@NawazShrifMNS
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ہم ہر عدالت میں قرآن پر ہاتھ رکھ کر کہ سکتے ہیں کہ آپ کو گالیاں دینے کا کبھی پیسہ نہیں لیا . یہ کام ہم فیسبلللہ کرتے آے ہیں اور اگے بھی جاری رکھیںگے - Admin
ایک دفعہ عدم اعتماد کامعاملہ کسی کنارےلگنےدیں توانشااللہ پہلاکام ارسلان،اظہر،غزالی اورجبران وغیرہ کوعدالت کےکٹہرےمیں کھڑاکر کےنشان عبرت بنانےکاکروں گا۔تب ان لوگوں اور ان لوگوں کو نوازنے والوں سےقومی خزانےکی اس رقم کاحساب لیاجائےگاجوان لوگوں نےہم جیسوں کو گالیاں دینےکےبدلےلوٹا۔
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For the record, it is not yet clear if
@NidaParody
was taken down by twitter or by the account owners themselves because they believed it had stirred too much trouble (acc owners indicated their intent to do so earlier, and ReSiStAnCe™ were threatening PECA lawsuits).
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Just received terrible news that platelets of
@NawazShrifMNS
have become low again for another 3 months.
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Raising voices for 2 Punjabi women but not for the pashtun being parodied.
I see you all fake "allies" of PTM.
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All white Pashtuns stand united regardless of race or color.
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Sir can u please remind Mr Ghani that one of the cash filled boxes he fled with was earmarked for me? he keeps pretending to have bad signal reception whenever I call him.
Someone should remind PM
@ImranKhanPTI
that Afgh wasn't pushed out by a letter but through a massive lethal conspiracy in which his Khakis were involved too. Now that he will be gone by a letter he will understand what is at play & why. I wonder if he still shouts INDEPENDENCE.
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If you guys are really grateful, maybe you will stop spreading anti-sematic conspiracy theories about her being some yahudi zionist propagandist.
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Agreed. Also Zardari sb is the uncle who ate up your mother's inheritance.
Imran Khan is the uncle that comes to your house, brings food, and then tells you 'beta tumhara bohat potential hay Mashallah thora sa bus focus karlo.'
Shahbaz Sharif is the uncle that comes to your house, eats your food, steals your TV, and then sneers at you for being poor.
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Oh, so NOW cartoons are bad?
France summons Russian envoy over embassy Twitter cartoon that mocked Europe
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Actually all birds, blue, black or yellow, should vote for white Pashtun birds. Thats the real democracy and constitutional rights.
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@Ayeshajiparody
No no I have exemption certificate from Aurat March. They even tweeted for me.
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Hi Bakhtawar, Please let me know where you can find a 12x15 relief tent for 5000?
Cheapest waterproof tent I could find was of $32 (PKR 7000), and only 7x7, not 12x15. Also not even suitable for flood affectees, only adventure camping.
This isn’t a time for PTI to profit on more charity especially on this humanitarian crisis. 12x15 feet waterproof tents are HALF the price quoted below. Smaller even less. Sickening exploitation. Be weary of where your donations go
#Pakistan
donate to Gov funds or legit NGOs.
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"Pakistan has been saved" - Shahbaz Sharif.
Picture unrelated.
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Imran Khan couldn't prove any further corruption on
@NawazShrifMNS
because you beat him to the punch with your calibri letter.
عمران خان 65 ملین پاونڈز خرچ کرکے نوازشریف کے خلاف 65 روپے کی کرپشن ثابت نہیں کر سکا۔نواز شریف کو تو اللّہ نے سرخرو کر دیا مگر موسوی کا معافی نامہ عمران خان کے خلاف چارج شیٹ ہے-اسکو بتانا ہو گا کہ قوم کا پیسہ اپنے انتقام کی آگ ٹھنڈی کرنے پر بہانے کا اختیار اسکو کس نے دیا؟
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@mjdawars
WTF kind of psychopath uses such illiterate language?
You could have called me a Kalia like all normal people. But Durand lover? Astaghfirullah. Only way such an accusation could be true is if Durand is the name of 14 year old boy from Kandahar.
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If it was deleted by twitter, then
@TwitterSupport
needs to clarify what violations were found on that acc. Since acc owner did their best to keep things civil. Even blocked other parody accs(mine included) that they believed to be too crass. Exact opposite of organised trolling.
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@UzairYounus
So your ultra mega corruption scandal is that he used undeclared funds to campaign for Kashmir cause? 🤣🤣😭😭
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Strongly condom Amir Liaqat being called a bharwa dalla kanjar haramkhor kuttey ki nasal bc randi ka bacha madarchod or any such thing pls avoid.
@AamirLiaquat
for you. Enjoy your new fans
At Millennium Mall, Karachi.
#Karachi
#Protest
#PTI
#AamirLiaquat
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If Sugar Kaka is there then who is running my account?
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The audacity of patwar media cell to share these memes when their masters literally used this defense in their own NAB cases i.e they dont know who had been sending TTs into their accounts.
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You HAVE to be aware that dissent doesn't just come from the left. It comes from right too. Thousands of TLP workers are languishing in jails.
Saad Rizvi spent nearly 6 months. Khadim Rizvi claimed he was tortured in prison. Does this make TLP immune to satire and parody?
frankly very stupid humor to add to it. If you must make your political/social commentary funny there is a whole lot out there that needs your attention. Making fun of those who dissent doesn't help your beloved country, it only makes it a more restricted space for speaking up.
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Yaum E Takbir Mubarak. On this day, main Muhammad Nawaz Sharif took out a "matchis ki teeli" from his pocket and used it to light up the fuse wire of a nuclear device in chagi. This would be Pakistan's first nuclear test. After that he rode a Toma Haka missile back to PM house.
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Admin's note (not parody):
This claim is false. At least in my case. PTM regularly deploys bots/troll farms to amplify themselves. Not to mention cross border support. Case in point:
This is one of reasons why I chose to parody Ali Wazir of all your lot.
And let’s not pretend this space is an even playing field. Those with resources of powerful groups—whether they be parties, corporations, or the military—have a much louder voice. They can buy bots & fake accounts to amplify themselves. We can and do not. Know the difference.
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PTI fans are upset over army for meddling in politics but for last 4 years you guys were not only fine with that political meddling but many of you were even bragging about it and making jokes of software updates and black vigos.
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If it was deleted by acc owners themselves, then congrats on bullying a genuine critic into silence. The very thing you are accusing us of trying to do.
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Sir not all of us are beggers. Some are chaprassis too. We make our 4 billion dollar bank balance through pure and honest hard work.
The irony is that for decades the beggers have been financing the lifestyle of ruling classes and their progeny who in return only remind them that they are still beggers.
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Of course, because many of the troll farms employed are based outside of Pakistan, often in shady "call centers" of Banglore, India, we get gems like this:
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Marium Baji raised a very important point: how was Farah Khan able to afford that expensive bag?
(GIF unrelated)
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*NOT A PARODY TWEET*
Taliban has once again delayed opening of girls schools for class 6 and above. While we make fun of the likes of Ali Wazir, I will also not tolerate any support for Taliban under my tweets.
-Admin.
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Platelets kam karney ki dawai mila raha hai. Jab Mian Saanp Pakistan atey hain un ke platelets kam ho jate hain.
Imran Khan mulk ke paani mein kuch mila raha hai warna yeh andhi support meri samajh se tou balatar hai.
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@Javeed193
From Karachi, Pakistan. Works at Agha Khan hospital. Yet want separation from Pakistan, which you call terrorist state.
You are a true embodiment of Afghan namak haraam. I and Ashraf Ghani are both proud of you ❣
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@Sabbandkardo
Grew up not caring about leaving the lights on or off when exiting a room. Now I keep a track of every light, fan, and charger attached to plugs that isn't in use.
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Fully agreed. Everything we do is free speech and people having fun. Everything you do is agenda driven conspiracy.
More power to
@HaiderKAbbasi
for letting you peasant kalias know your place in the hierarchy.
Muzammil and Fawad parody accounts were some random guys on Twitter having fun.
This is an organised campaign with a specific agenda.
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Thank you!
@AliWazirParody
Try to retweet it. Two negatives result in a positive so it might delete itself.
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@mirMAKfake
@sugar_kaka
Honestly bro, aisey maza nahi aa rha. You can also learn to hit back with humor and sarcasm without having to attack the person running the account. And yeah just for the record, FUCK PECA.
-Admin.
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@DanMir_musings
@ThisMyHandle
@MirTharkiMir
@fay_alif
@mahnurrhamid
@ShaykShack
Thousands 🤣🤣🤣
Find me 5.
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Common talking point for PDM is how Nawaz Sharif was disqualified and jailed "merely" for Iqrama and few thousand dirhams of undeclared income.
It is only half true. While he was disqualified on Iqama, the jail was due to being convicted in $50 million assets beyond means case.
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People like Imaan give me hope that perhaps all isn't lost in this country just yet.
I was at G9 police station for Asad Toor's car accident case & heard screams coming from smaller room in main SHO's room.I walked in & saw this SHO Irshad beating the life out of someone in custody. The man was lying on the floor & SHO Irshad was stepping on his face
@ICT_Police
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