Bitchy Witch
@TraderGoys
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I'm on a downward spiral like Anna Nicole Smith
Joined March 2020
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Financial advisor says I’m on track to k!ll myself at 42
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Monica lewinsky’s daughter just threw HRH collection down a well
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The last time I downloaded hinge I realized that their main goal is not for you to get into a relationship, it’s for you to kill yourself
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Good evening weary traveler. Non binary lake is that way, just on the other side of lesbian lagoon. Here, take these Chappell Runes, they’ll keep you safe on your journey
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Me if I was a woman from Utah who just learned how to blink
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This is like perhaps my favorite tweet
JVN: “Wearing a shirt backwards is an act of bravery. Its a resistance slay, mama! It’s a way of saying—hello world, this is who *I* am!”
Pelosi: “Yes. :). Great. Thank you for coming to Congress today Weird Al. Your mission is so important”
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Imagine you’re walking home and she just pops out of an alley and starts giving you riddles. That would be sort of fun in a way
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Remember when Lena Dunham said she became so hungry after sniffing poppers for the first time that she ate an entire cake
Lena Dunham is set to direct the 'Polly Pocket' movie starring Lily Collins.
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Cause this is exactly how I’m dancing to brat in my room while straight roommate is talking about k*lling himself over his job
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The fact that this picture could be carole radziwill, miley cyrus, or joni mitchell
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Why do they keep remaking that Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie? Anyway if they do another one she should be the next Wonka
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🚨RHUGT News🚨
Actress and former Beverly Hills cast member Kim Richards has reportedly been cast on the 3rd installment of The Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip. Richards is reportedly ready to “lay it all on the table” with the rest of the cast.
Are you excited to see Kim?
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I hate going to gay Halloween parties cause what do you mean you’re Ally Zarin on the private plane to fat camp
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First day of classes tomorrow - I’m going to need all the strength I can muster
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Jen Shah
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hey! autismlors, check this out
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@LyraTradgard
@HoodieAIex
The way he exposed himself as being attracted to underage girls and seeing their nude photos without their consent...we have to laugh
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I crashed my car into a house and then kept driving and then parked in the middle of the road and then my dog had to get out of the car to go to the bathroom, and then the police, they came and arrested me, yeah, I’m under a lot of stress
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I’ve just been informed that life will indeed be continuing tomorrow and most likely the day after as well
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Bitch you will never be Dorit
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This being the greatest video to ever be created
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They need to name her TIME’s person of the year. I’m not joking
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The fact that Leah McSweeney single-handedly drove RHONY into the ground and caused it to fracture in two is hilarious
#LeahRuinedRHONY
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She was the maddest anyone’s ever been. Looking like George Washington no less
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I kind of relate to her just doing the impulsive things that seem funny in your head and then being shocked when no one else thinks it’s funny
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Gizelle Bryant
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The Teddi Mellencamp citrus mint avocado lettuce tacos will never fail to make me laugh
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Do you know any queer people who have been together for 10 years?
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Straight roommate just asked me to hang out and get food…this ain’t fucking queer eye bitch we are not doing that
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Bethenny gets up from her bed and slips a skinny girl pod into her signature red kuerig. Her iPhone 15 is firing off notifications in the distance. “Kristen Taekman steals the show in RHONY Legacy.” She falls to the floor and begins sobbing. It was going to be a horrible day
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Bravo bringing in multiple past RHOBH wives and leaving Teddi Floppencamp on the sidelines it’s too funny
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This looking like a still from an episode of modern family
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Kristen Stewart reveals RHONY connection in new interview. “Alex McCord is my aunt. She’s always been extremely supportive. I actually drew inspiration from her while filming Twilight. She would call me every night after filming and we’d just talk. She was great.”
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The concept of saying you worked with a medical intuitive as if everyone is supposed to nod in fervent recognition like a medical intuitive is a profession people know about and highly respect
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I have information that can lead to the arrest of lisa rinna
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When oomf called her a Cinnamon Toast Crunch because of her shadow
kelly bensimon simply minding her gd business while i snap a cheeky photo
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She finally completed her hilling journey
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When my friend asks me what type of bread Jewish people eat
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This seems fun tbh like I wanna do more adventurous stuff like this
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Dorit on her way to The Agency headquarters to talk to Mauricio
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They want as many 18-45 year olds to kill themselves because they think that would be a really fun and interesting thing to achieve
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When Gizelle Bryant closes her eyes and thinks of paradise, she sees this and bucket of purple paint
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The unadulterated hope and optimism in her eyes here. She said lemme look eager and serve octagon
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This fucking picture. Can’t stop imagining her talking in that mob voice. We buried Richard down under that tree, ya see? I made it nice, ya see?
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Dorinda Medley awakens with a start, a bottle of Bluestone Manor bourbon sat precariously on her bedside table. She yells at her housekeeper to fry up some eggs. Her phone begins to vibrate. It’s a google alert: “Tinsley Mortimer gets married.” It’s going to be a horrible day.
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Almost just uploaded this video for my
professor instead of the one I recorded for class
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🚨RHONY News🚨
Real estate agent, author, and former model Kelly Bensimon is allegedly nearing final negotiations for a spot as a full-time housewife on Season 14 of the New York franchise.
Are you excited to see Kelly back in the mix?
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Having a hotel room to yourself is one of the most amazing things like it’s almost orgasmic
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Gay roommate has the day off he asked me if I wanted a hard seltzer at 9:30 am like come onnn
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How do you get called the biggest whore in Macy’s window and not completely bust out laughing in the person’s face like luann really didn’t give a fuck
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Oomfette invited her boyfriend who changes the dynamic to dinner again tonight its so disrespectful
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Her talking about depression as if it’s Leprosy or something
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