Gone to the other place.
@TopTopPundit
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Last Seen Profiles
@ABC
Sorry to ruin the fun of everyone enjoying this cool and exciting video - primatologist here.
Orangutan's only smoke cigarettes when thinking racist thoughts. He might look edgy and rebellious, but the sad reality is that he's a bigot.
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Joey Barton doesn’t believe what he is saying.
His plan is to monetise outrage because he can’t get a job in football anymore.
Ignore him.
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In 2016 Newcastle fans held a protest in St James Park in opposition to Sports Direct's zero hours contracts. They reasoned, quite rightly, that it brought shame on their club by association.
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@dearnhx
The turkey is one of the most influential voices in Irish music.
I don't know who this young singer is, but his career will not recover from this snub. Everyone here in Ireland stands behind the turkey. The singer is not good.
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So, England play Iceland, NI play Wales, Ireland play France and Scotland play Everybody Hurts by REM.
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@digitalspy
‘Fans’ = people who’ve spent 2 years writing turgid superhero fan fiction on Reddit.
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@BeardedGenius
This is a man who, despite demanding that they iron his shoelaces each morning, has made 100 of his staff redundant today.
That’s why it’s public.
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@phyncerberus
@LeaveEUOfficial
These days you can’t even break the law without judges getting involved.
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@JuliaHB1
@metpoliceuk
@JamesCleverly
Julia stands BESIDE the racists. She’s careful not to stand WITH them. This is basic grifting.
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@jbarro
Thank you for your message.
I am currently out of office, using one of my 30 paid annual leave days, or one of 9 paid public holidays.
I will respond to your message upon my return.
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And with that, Nigel Peason hands his wife a jar.
"Open it."
She does.
"YEAH, WELL I FUCKING LOOSENED IT."
He retires to the shed.
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“How was the game pet?”
“Shite.”
“Want me to put yer tea towel in the wash?”
“Aye.”
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August;
"Enjoyed my time at Sky Sports, time to look forward to life’s next challenge 👍"
September;
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@CarolineMoss
What most don’t realise is that th triangle shape in the latter logos is EXACTLY the same shape as the Dorito biscuits themselves.
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@KyleJGlen
The fans getting hit have breached security, assaulting police and stewards in doing so, and are attempting to get into the stadium without a ticket.
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@BeardedGenius
Reminds me of the time I bought a big coat from the charity shop and it turned out to be haunted.
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@YaakovStras
@AOC
@POTUS
Hamas ‘eliminated’ some IDF soldiers during the massacre of October 7th.
Presumably, then, you think the massacre was justified.
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Stunning last minute winner by "No they shouldn't" in the "Should children starve?" derby.
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@queenwyntir
@darrenrovell
I’m the dad - I left her last to teach her a lesson. You see, she murdered a cat last month.
Bludgeoned the wretched beast with a plant pot.
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@JoeStephenson96
The timeline is absolutely incredible.
- "I'm worried about money."
- "Tell your dad to walk around the garden 100 times. A quid a lap."
- "Haha. Look at him go. Issue a press release."
- "Nice. Tell them it's a grand a lap now."
- "Call the travel agent."
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@SkyNews
@officialbarnesy
You’ve got to hold a cosh,
But do it at the right time.
You can hate “the blacks”,
As long as you change your mind.
The press will hit you and hurt you,
Call you a racist and that.
There’s only one way to beat them.
Get John Barnes to chat.
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@little_pengelly
Hey girl, are you a pineapple ring? Cos you’re unnecessarily on the side of gammon.
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@emilyhewertson
She threw a drink over you because “you’re a horrible person”.
The fact that you’re also a tory is just a little treat for us, the gleeful audience.
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LATEST; Yaya Toure pulls out of the World Cup after Ivorian kit man used the wrong fabric softener on his Peppa Pig pyjamas.
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@BeardedGenius
Remember how Roy Keane had a clause guaranteeing him £1 more than the club’s highest paid player?
Noble has a clause guaranteeing him £1 less than soldiers.
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@PrisonPlanet
Paul, Paul.
They key point is that you’re employed by a conman who hook people on scary lies, then sells them fake medicine.
Big tech is ran by people with low emotional intelligence. It took them this long to wise up to the con.
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@JesseKellyDC
So you’d massacre doctors, nurses, law enforcement and airport staff in order to ensure that your terminally ill child dies en route to a foreign hospital?
Yeah. You shouldn’t have an AR-15.
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@FIFAcom
@Pele
@CBF_Futebol
“What does ‘hashtag’ mean, son?”
“You’ll find out, Papa. The world will hashtag find out.”
And that’s how Pele invented the internet.
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This is long overdue justice for the wheat farmers.
JUSTICE.
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If QPR sign Niko Kranjčar and Redknapp remembers to get his Niko Kranjčar card stamped, he qualifies for a free Niko Kranjčar.
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@JuliaHB1
@metpoliceuk
@JamesCleverly
Julia. Your job is to be wrong in public, thus monetising simpletons and rage junkies.
Your piss pedantry is not motivated by a desire for accuracy.
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@GoldingBF
Muslims? Outside a mosque?!
Next you’ll be telling me you’ve spotted BF supporters outside a Wetherspoons, drinking the child allowance.
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The last time Ashley Cole had a beard that thick, it ended up becoming an judge on X Factor.
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@Nigel_Farage
You should smoke even more, Nigel. Take the filters out. Two at a time. Really wind them up.
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"The thing about International football is that you can't punch people in the neck."
Andy Townsend
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It's grotesque how
@SoccerSaturday
continue to integrate
@SkyBet
messaging into a programme co-hosted by a gambling addict.
How many addicts have they helped create? How many addicts without Merson's financial safety net?
'I need to pay everyone back and get my wife and kids a house, please god help me.'
Paul Merson emotionally describes how he relapsed during lockdown & began gambling again.
Paul is now doing better and he encourages anyone struggling with addiction to speak out.
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@RoyNemer
Last night was Messi’s breakthrough performance tbf.
Anyone can score against FC Magaluf, but to do it against a team from the Barclays is incredible.
I wouldn’t be surprised to see a top 6 team go for him. Maybe Spurs if Kane leaves.
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@BuzzFeedCeleb
You might say that it's now a... Blank Space.
Like the song. By "Taylor Swift".
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Astonishing scenes at the Ataturk Stadium. What a moment.
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Fair play to the Make a Wish foundation for making Jack Wilshere's dreams come true before he dies of bad legs.
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@KTHopkins
@BurgerKingUK
First they came with the milkshakes, and I did not speak out because it was very cool and definitely good.
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@garydunion
They're reigning down fire after turning off the water, and the leader of every Western democracy are patting them on the back for doing so.
It's unfathomable.
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DJ Campbell statement;
"I am 100% innocent, and hope to be available for Blackburn's score draw this Saturday".
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@BritishGQ
It’s reassuring that the World’s Biggest Arseholes (Trump, Farage, this absolute gimp) have life-shortening diets.
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@halfon4harlowMP
I'm sure Sunderland fans will be distraught to learn that they impinged on the dining plans of a fucking tory.
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@PrisonPlanet
It’s over. Alex Jones had a long, long run with this con, but it’s over.
That you’re still tweeting from the official Monorail account suggests that you’re Jones’ biggest victim.
You’re on the scrapheap, aged 40. Credibility shot, and too complicit to sue.
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@RollingStone
@tropoFarmer
@BoredApeYC
Is America’s water supply full of lead or something? The whole country has gone completely insane.
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@mrdavidwhitley
I hope that, after buying a big pack of AA batteries in early December, he discovers that his primary battery need on Christmas Day is the smaller AAA variant.
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@alex_navarro
It’s almost as if these so-called writers don’t read Reddit for 16 hours per day.
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If you’re from the north east of England and you’re a tory, you’re a cunt.
A cold, ignorant, gullible, soulless cunt.
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@richardleech90
@LidlUK
On the plus side, the smell of vomit should help mask the smell of cooked mouse. 👍
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Decent performance from Scotland considering that, statistically speaking, 55% of the team and fans want to be English.
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@sarahstuartxx
@louistheroux
The piece describes Hamas as war criminals.
Israel (or its allies) could stop the atrocity. They choose not to.
Israel also chose to kill 483 Palestinians in the West Bank last year. No Hamas in the West Bank.
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@BenMaurice10
@RoyalFamily
Why stop there?
There’d be no child abuse if people didn’t have babies.
So-called parents are nothing more than nonce-dealers.
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@jcmjcm4
The Vaseline is to make myself a more difficult opponent as I windmill my way through various tapas bars, branches of Zara etc.
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@Nigel_Farage
Nigel. All your supporters are Facebook Karens.
I know you like to think you’re Hitler commanding the Third Reich, but this is more like trying to incite a race war via the Cliff Richard fan club newsletter.
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@ManMadeMoon
@NicolaSturgeon
I was making a joke based on a deliberate misinterpretation of indyref.
A joke, Duncan, that I very much regret making. It’s a bad joke, Duncan. So bad.
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@piersmorgan
@sterling7
I sincerely hope that Raheem Sterling breaks your mam’s heart following a brief but passionate affair.
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@Lips1982
#SportsDirectShame
was used specifically in relation to the zero hours contract protest. Displaying that banner in SJP was an act of protest.
Back when Newcastle fans had a conscious about stuff other than Class Footballaz.
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“If you want to understand Newcastle United Football Club, just look at the photo of the Geordie punching a horse.
That’s them. That’s who they are.
In many ways, I was that horse. A magnificent beast, disrespected by ignorant slobs.”
Michael Owen, Reboot (pp. 160) 😳
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Gareth Southgate is an extraordinary tournament manager. Consistently happy camp, consistently savvy media management, consistently makes the right calls against a backdrop of incessant noise from the nation’s biggest drips.
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@jones_garan
@jroberts332
@JoeStephenson96
I'm a leg doctor and can confirm that the best way to recover from a broken hip is to walk in a circle 100 times.
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@MundialMag
Big occasions like this must’ve felt like a pipe dream to the fan base the day Dentiny’s Child went into administration. Fair play. 👏👏
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@BeatzMcGlocklin
@PhilippeAuclair
So the value is in the proof of ownership, but what you own can be changed against your will.
Do you realise how stupid this all is?
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@paulnuttallukip
I can't stop thinking about it, Paul. Can't stop thinking if you're a xenomorph, or a shapeshifter like the T-1000.
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"Look at these morons. Get off the pitch. What's Hurst doing? Near post?! Awful goalkeeping. Awful."
Mark Lawrenson, 1966
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"Today would be WAY better if kick-off was delayed til December and moved to a homophobic desert."
You're all thinking it.
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@paulnuttallukip
Anyway, get back to me when you can. No rush, I know you've had a rough week.
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