Tobes
@TobyEvenden
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I make football cinema sometimes, Up the Chels
Joined February 2022
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Football is in danger if we’re honest, this guy couldn’t even sniff a ballon d’or, now look at the dross people platform as “world class”
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Listen Tour de Nonce, the bus turned right because it could, you dressing like a shit power ranger doesn’t mean the world stops
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Backed off allowing him onto his stronger foot to get a clean shot off, wow
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Masked up Rudi, masked up Cesc, masked up Torres, seen it before, we’re about to witness another level
🚨🇫🇷 Didier Deschamps: “Yes, Kylian Mbappé has probably broken his nose”,
told TF1.
In that case, Mbappé would wear a mask for the rest of the Euros.
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How did he not know who had tapped him on the back?
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Lot of time for Sweden, didn’t bother doing lockdown and now not bothering with VAR, they’re no sheep
🚨📺| Sweden is the first country to 𝗥𝗘𝗝𝗘𝗖𝗧 VAR following opposition from the majority of elite clubs. 🇸🇪
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Agbonheimer
“You don’t need him! Use £40m elsewhere!”
“They’ve lost Xhaka. Partey gets injured. Go and get one more defensive midfielder.” ✍️
Gabby Agbonlahor doesn’t see the point point in
#AFC
bringing in David Raya. 👀🇪🇸
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If i know Barclays, Leicester vs Chelsea nailed on for first game of the season
🚨🔵 Leicester City have made contact with Graham Potter as serious candidate to replace Enzo Maresca.
Talks ongoing to make decision on the favorite option but Potter’s appreciated, waiting for club to decide.
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My dream isnt to get Danny Aarons’ Dad’s resignation letter tattooed on my calf tbh
Danny Aarons got his dad’s resignation letter he wrote tattooed on his calf.
Every persons dream 👏
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Couldn’t have picked a more obvious continuation of our number 9 curse
Chelsea have already made an offer to sign Dušan Vlahović this summer… ✅
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I’ll never understand people who have an interest in football yet can’t kick one at all, how does that happen? Surely you played a bit as a kid at least?
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Tend to avoid the silly pseudo psychologists that weigh in on how a player acts etc but in the space of a week we’ve seen Madueke at least initially more upset he couldn’t take a penalty at 4-0 than lose a semi final in the FA Cup, cant say thats a good thing to see
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Ramsdale with subway surfers playing below the game
🧤🔴 Aaron Ramsdale: "If you ask me to concentrate on a game of football for 90 minutes? I'm finished. I can't do it."
"That's why I get involved with the fans and I'll sing along with the songs. If someone is giving me abuse, i'll turn round and give them a bit back."
"I've
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Look at Firminos face man, he knows
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Like a plate at spoons
ℹ️❗️OFFICIAL: The Champions League ball for the upcoming knockout rounds has been revealed.
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Nightmare goalkeeper blunt rotation
🚨 Kepa is being considered by PSG, alongside Hugo Lloris and David De Gea. (
@Tanziloic
@lequipe
)
#CFC
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Tour de Nonce obviously, car indicates but the lycra Power Ranger suit got to the tosspots head and thinks an overtake is possible, VAR check complete, decision: Tour de Nonce
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This sounds really weird but since Messi left, i feel like I’ve forgotten Barca as a club? Xavi’s there, they won a league but they dont look or seem to feel like Barca idk
🔵🔴 Xavi: “Haaland or Mbappé? We can’t think of Haaland or Mbappé to join Barça now. We can’t afford these players, unfortunately”.
“I’m happy with the players I have. We need to reach our best level as at this club we need to be always at top level”.
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The disrespect, there was absolutely no need to stick that Will Still black and blue dress Kenilworth Road hes 28 till hes 29 top bin
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Harry Kane asking Big Ange if he can go to Real Madrid
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Just remembered that pic of Rooney with a giant lolly and started creasing, how was that a real photo
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I reckon if you locked me in a room for eternity with other football fans and we cant leave the room until we die, Julian Alvarez having a better CV than Mbappe wouldnt have come up at any point
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They’ve actually managed to make this unbelievable impression of a football celebration we see at every ground every weekend about them
Mad how this is every Ibrahima Konate goal for Liverpool.
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Drunk messaged Cesc after a night out at around 3am near end of 15/16 season saying mate you should be captain next year if JT leaves, couldn’t believe seeing “Cesc Fabregas is typing” at some afters, magic hat just put time will tell 😂
i still can’t believe certain guys dm footballers wishing them luck before matches🤣🤣🤣
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Well yeah, imagine an 18 year old winning the premier league golden boot, winning it again the next year and the ballon d’or at 21 😂
😳 Michael Owen seems to rate himself quite highly
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6 from open play, 6 😂
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Being weight shamed by Lizzo is like Hitler saying you’ve gone a bit far there mate for saying you don’t rate Yossi Benayoun
JUST IN: Lizzo sued over claims she created a hostile work environment where former dancers say they were weight-shamed and sexually harassed.
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Just seen the McGinn Red Card again, what happened to our sport
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There was just no need to Kenilworth Road that Black and Blue Dress right in the 1963 Boxing Day results
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The fuck are they training for??
Gianluca Scamacca has withdrawn from Italy's training camp with a minor muscle injury. [Football London]
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How did they unearth this 70 million pound gem
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Even in retirement it really still is Mike Dean’s world we’re all living in
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Or is that just what they all want you to believe
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Haaland is no Dixie, the way he’d dance past defenders with trenchfoot and slot past the shellshocked keeper was special
What annoys me about this “all comps” lark is Dixie played in 2.
Haaland’s total is including goals from 4
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When did he start looking like a thunderbird puppet?
I need Mikel Arteta to use that PAIN and clinch the title next season 💔🥹
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Casuals all over pretending they’re not enjoying this stunning chess match, i am on my feet applauding, Pep needs to get Foden in the incisor rimjob role to excel further imo
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Kroos injuring Pedri to force Dani Olmo on has won them this game and sent him to an early retirement 😂
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That’s not true though is it fellas, show his real last appearance
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Looks older than that
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“Dwight Mcneil the spiderman fan makes himself a superhero” Look at what you’ve done Drury, might be worse for the sport than that sinbin shite
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Roy Hodgson dont you dare even think about it
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Sacked by the BBC for inappropriate behaviour? Did he refuse to touch kids or something?
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Did you put your balls on my drumset
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Thats actually crazy considering we’ve only existed since 2003 and ruin all players we sign
More Chelsea players have scored Premier League hat-tricks than any other club in England (23) 🎩
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Werner and Nuñez in the same league
🚨⚪️ Timo Werner has accepted Spurs proposal as he wants to return to the Premier League.
He’s very keen on working with Ange Postecoglou.
Postecoglou also approved the deal.
Negotiations ongoing today between Leipzig and Tottenham on loan plus potential option to buy clause.
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I feel like this is mine and probably everyones last memory of a pre covid world
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Probably the only time in history anyones wanted to hear what Jenas has to say and he’s managed to make that boring as well
‘Two sides to every story’ – Jermaine Jenas spoke exclusively to talkSPORT after the BBC sacked him over allegations of ‘inappropriate behaviour’.
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Hudson Odoi and Mikel Arteta on the flight logs 😂
Here's Jeffrey Epstein's Island visitors that was confirmed on
#EpsteinFlightLogs
🧐
#EpsteinClientList
Adam Perry Lang
Akon
Al Gore
Alan Dershowitz
Albert Pinto
Alee Baldwin
Allison Mack
Alyssa Rogers
Anderson Cooper
Andrea Mitrovich
Andres Pastrana
Angelina Jolie
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Physiotherapist and therapist
I may be wrong but looks like Partey has arrived in Ghana with Arsenal physiotherapist Simon Murphy.
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Big Ange’s celebratory speech
BREAKING: Ange Postecoglou has been named the Barclays Premier League Manager of the Month for August! 🏆👔
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Kanté came into a team that nearly went down and they won the league. Then joined a team that came 10th and they won the league.
Has any player had more of an influence on a team this quickly as Casemiro has?! 👊
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Drippy era
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Goes down with Hulk, everyone rated him but did they see him? Did he exist? Who knows
Al Hilal have reached verbal agreement with Lazio for Sergej Milinković-Savić on €40m fee — waiting on formal bid and documents to be checked. 🚨🔵🇸🇦
Al Hilal are working to get final green light from SMS who’s open to discuss contract terms.
It only depends on Sergej now.
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Fair fucking play, Carrasco got a China move and a Saudi move, those grandkids gonna have a diamond encrusted slide
Yannick Ferreira Carrasco to Al Shabab, here we go! Deal agreed between Atléti and Saudi club on fee close to €15m package 🚨⚪️⚫️🇸🇦
#AlShabab
Carrasco will travel for medical tests in the next hours as three year deal has been agreed.
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Gutted, was looking forward to Neville breaking down the Glazers performance on Saturday
🚨 BREAKING: Brentford boss Thomas Frank to step in for Gary Neville on MNF TONIGHT
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These 3 goals all happened in the same year, guess which one won the Puskas award
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Cinema
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“Pen merchant” walks away with a 25 yard chip and 3 assists
Cold Palmer in the middle is just silly. SO bloody good.
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You know what, 13/14 is probably the best season Barclays has produced.
Ridiculous 3 way title race that didn’t even feature the team that spent the longest time at the top.
Twists and turns at every corner; Kompany to Coutinho, Joses home streak ended, Gerrard to Ba,
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Easily worse than Moscow for me, Ghost goal i think Cech gets sent off anyway personally but this game, one day it’ll all come out, they didnt want back to back Chelsea United finals, simple as
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This goal saved Chelsea, this goal brought Roman here, this goal ended the United Arsenal duopoly, this goal brought a Champions League to London, this goal brought other extremely wealthy owners to football, this goal changed english and modern football
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What you get for eating chicken and chips in bed ya scruff
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Chelsea goal - Drogba hits an absolute thunderbolt goalwards and it's past Jaaskelainen before he knows it. Wanderers 0 Chelsea 1
#bwfc
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Nothing better than a signing out of absolutely nowhere wow, i am stunned
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Scored after a minute then didn’t leave our half for 119, can anyone even remember a half chance we had in the remainder of the game? 😂
A heartbreaking night
#OnThisDay
two years ago, but
@LukeShaw23
gave us a moment we'll never forget.
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WHY WOULD ROB HOLDING DO THIS?!?!
I think you do. How else do you explain those West Ham and Southampton results? It was pathetic.
The fact you’re all blaming injuries (like nobody else gets them) sums it up, I don’t trust Arsenal to get it done when shit hits the fan. Just my opinion.
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My sister was assaulted on her way home yesterday around NW on the Jubilee Line. He tried to intimidate her and when she started filming him for proof, he then attacked her. She's reported this to the police but if you recognise him please let me know.
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De Bruyne shocks me with what he does with a football
Salah shocks me with his returns despite what he does with a football
Im an Henry over Van Nistelrooy type, Kevin for me easily
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Honestly couldnt believe what i’d just seen at the time, what was he thinking, look at JT and Dave’s reactions to him too 🤣🤣
Has anyone got that video of Pedro in 15/16 i think against Everton when he dribbled past our own defence to concede a corner 🤣🤣
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50 million to win that corner was just so worth it im not even joking
Didier Drogba's equaliser against Bayern in the 2012 Champions League final.
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Big Ange seeing the officials at the replay
🗣 "I think the only outcome should be a replay... Something like that has never happened."
Jurgen Klopp discusses the VAR audio that has been released since Liverpool's incorrectly disallowed goal against Tottenham 🎙🔴
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Miss the good ol’ days where you’d stick Sky Sports on before the early Saturday game to get a good fix of playdough Sushi being squashed by a hydraulic press
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Ah mate bless them, thats like a big moment for them isnt it? A last 16 tie win over Porto, quite endearing really
Diogo Costa came to The Emirates and learned from the best
Fair play 👏
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Quite funny that this one is forgotten because that one is even better
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But for who Chris Kamara?
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Fuck i thought we played well and Sanchez cost us but my eyes have been opened, we lost on Field Tilt
“Chelsea dominated”
No. We were poor. They were average. Luck evened out.
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Is Kanté the most unique footballer to play the game?
A lot of all timers you can pin as having similarities to other all timers, just never seen anything like Kanté
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Look at Drogba in every goal and some excel spreadsheet virgin will try compare x and y to him on goals 😂
Liverpool 1 - 4 Chelsea (2 Oct, 2005)
This is still Liverpool's joint-biggest league defeat at Anfield since 1969.
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The issue people had was it was a closed shop, it isn’t now, this is just an alternative to champions league that is designed to level financial playing field across europe with less in UEFA’s pockets, feel like the outrage today is merely seeing the words Super League
🚨 BREAKING: The new Super League format.
• OPEN competition
• Several divisions
• 60 to 80 clubs participatimg
• LESS matches to protect players
• MASSIVE income for all participators
• FREE broadcast for everyone
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