The Par Train
@TheParTrain
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Helping frustrated golfers #EnjoyTheRide again 🚂⛳️ | Hop aboard the most followed mental game podcast (1.5M+ downloads) ⤵️
Chicago & Los Angeles
Joined July 2016
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Pinned Tweet
I wish the world was more like a golf foursome.
You start as strangers.
You struggle together.
You encourage each other.
You laugh.
You tell stories.
You leave as friends.
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If I pay for a round of golf, I should get a free bucket of balls.
Every. time.
Share this far and wide so we can make this a thing.
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Jlo and Ben Affleck are engaged.
Britney Spears is pregnant.
It’s 2005 all over again.
(The year Tiger won the Open Championship at St. Andrews)
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Tiger Woods:
“I can hit whatever golf shot I want, but I just can’t walk.”
Me:
“I can walk, but I just can’t hit whatever golf shot I want.”
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A guy in the gallery just yelled “drink paint” after a Koepka mash.
Don’t know what it means, but we like it.
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If your foot isn’t hanging out of the golf cart as you drive between shots, are you even playing golf at all?
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Charlie Woods making a true eagle and not needing any of dad’s shots proves the kid is a straight killer. I absolutely live for this.
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Is it just me or is it an unwritten law that you can’t buy or wear merch from a golf resort or bucket list course until you’ve actually played it?
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Don’t know who needs to hear this but in 32 days the sun will set at 7pm.
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I just heard an amazing story from a caddie at Bandon.
It was only his 3rd hole, but an older guy told this caddie to keep the clubs in the bag.
“I’m enjoying this walk too much. I don’t want my golf to spoil it.” He didn’t play another shot and just walked with a smile.
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I just witnessed this fight and loved every minute of it.
Girlfriend:
“Babe when can we leave?”
Guy:
“Do you think Tiger Woods ever had someone asking him that question?”
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I just watched Jon Rahm’s interview with Pat MacAfee and here’s my take on why he went to LIV:
1. He assumes he’ll be back on the PGA Tour any ways in 2-3 years with $300M more in the bank
2. He has no concerns about not qualifying in the majors considering how high his world
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There are only two kinds of golfers:
1. Owns one pair of golf shoes
2. Owns 10 pairs of golf shoes
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I was playing in my Ryder Cup’s match play today.
My opponent:
*putts it to 2.5 feet on the green
Me:
“Yeah I’m gonna need to see that.”
My opponent:
*makes putt
*walks back to the cart
Me:
“Nice putt.”
My opponent:
“Fuck you.”
We’re having fun.
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Imagine being Rickie Fowler.
Your best friends are all playing in the US Open at Torrey, a place you love.
You miss qualifying by one stroke.
And you still sign autographs until dark. RESPECT 👏.
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If Scottie Scheffler can win a major, have a baby, get arrested, make bail, and birdie the first hole…
You can do anything.
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Golf courses will never reach their full potential until we replace the hot dog at the turn with TACOS at the turn.
Don’t @ me.
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POV: You're playing Pac Dunes at Bandon on a perfect spring night. Your buddy hits a perfect wedge pin high on one of the best par 3's in the world and then a goddamn bald eagle flies right over your heads for maybe the greatest video you'll ever capture for the rest your life.
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PGA Tour Interview:
“How does a win change your life?”
Joel Dahmen:
“A win does not change my life. Golf is not life. A win changes my career.”
More of the players on Tour (and all of us) would benefit from this perspective.
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Scottie Scheffler’s coach got asked “what are you and Scottie working on going into Augusta?”
“Absolutely nothing.”
Be afraid. Be very afraid of Scottie Scheffler at Augusta National.
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After playing the best golf courses in Scotland for a month and paying on average $150-$250, I’m even more disappointed seeing places like TPC Sawgrass charge $900 for 18 holes (without the cart fee!).
Just insanity.
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I know I’m going to hit all of these balls.
But I still pick out the newest looking ball each time, as if I’m not going to hit the oldies eventually 😂.
Anyone else do this or am I a serial killer?
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I believe the
#PGAChampionship
is the by far the least popular major because it lacks an identity.
Masters: Augusta National every year. Start of the season... and it's the Masters.
US Open: Toughest test. Carnage.
Open: Golf's roots. Links golf.
PGA: ?
Who agrees?
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The top 5 days for an empty golf course:
1. Mothers Day
2. Christmas Morning
3. New Years Day
4. Super Bowl Sunday
5. Easter
Thoughts?
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Am I the only person that didn’t know golf bags have a zipper on the inside of the big pocket to get whatever falls in the bottom of your bag?
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My tee time is at 6:45 am today.
My alarm was set for 5:00 am.
I woke up at 4:00 am, wide awake.
Golf is one hell of a drug.
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Is it just me or did a good solid putter used to be like $129.99 to $150.00 and now they’re all like $350+?
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Tiger Woods doubled the first hole on Thursday AND Friday in the 2008 US Open at Torrey and he still won with a broken leg.
Remember this the next time you think your round is over after doubling the first.
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Can someone tell golf courses we deserve our water jugs back please?
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So many people think their handicap is what they shoot on average.
But that’s not true. It’s your 8 best scores average of the last 20. In other words it should be hard to shoot your handicap.
So a 6, when playing well, should shoot close to a 78 with an average of low 80’s.
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For anyone who’s ever said “we should have more Waste Management holes in golf”, here’s my take:
The reason why so many ppl love it is because it’s a once a year thing. Same goes for Ryder Cups (every 2 years), Masters, etc.
Too much of a good thing ain’t always a good thing 🤝
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Ok I’m gonna say this one more time.
If you work at a golf course, if you know someone who works at a golf course, please share this message far and wide.
PUT WATER JUGS BACK ON THE COURSE.
🥵
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Viktor Hovland:
“I’ve been working on relaxing more. Instead of playing like I have something to lose, I play the percentages and accept that it’s not going to be perfect.”
This. Is. It.
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Other people are hiding in bomb shelters right now, and I’m gonna get mad on a golf course?
Nope.
If you’re playing golf you’re lucky. Period.
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No one has ever described golf better than Arnie:
“Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated. It satisfies the soul and frustrates the intellect. It is at the same time rewarding and maddening and it is without a doubt the greatest game mankind has ever invented.”
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Every single tour pro on the range at LACC is using an alignment stick.
Every. Single. One.
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I just witnessed something at the driving range I’ve never seen before.
Guy 1:
*Hitting balls and grinding on swing mechanics
Guy 2 in stall next to him:
*talking on a work call
Guy 1:
“Dude I’m trying to focus here. Take your work call somewhere else.”
Thoughts?
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1. A Rocky Creed like matchup
2. Playing for $10,000,000
3. Mic’d up
Tiger vs. Phil might as well be a bullseye!
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Is Pebble the only course that warrants a $500+ greens fee?
1. Shadow Creek: $1000
2. TPC Sawgrass: $650
3. Pebble: $625
4. Wynn: $600
5. Kiawah: $600
6. Whistling Straits: $555
7. Pinehurst
#2
: $495
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So today I hit one of the best 3 woods of my life. It kicked hard left off a hill right of the green (right where my caddie told me to hit it), and it rolled to 3 feet under the hole in two on a par 5.
My group was going nuts and I started walking ahead excited to try and bury
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Two months ago:
Phil wins the PGA Championship.
Today:
He shot 80.
Golf is hard. The more we accept it, the less frustrated we'll be.
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Currently behind a foursome that is 2 holes behind pace after 3 holes.
Fair for a foursome to ask to play through another foursome if they’re that slow?
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I’m in an Uber in Orlando and my driver just told me he picked up Tiger a few weeks ago. Keep reading, it gets better.
1/6
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The worst possible result after a round of golf is not your score.
Or the number of 3 putts or lost balls.
It's the thought "I wish I enjoyed it more." Your only job during your round is to not feel this way at the end of the day.
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JUST WON THE BALLOT. TOMORROW AT 3:30PM WE TEE OFF ON THE OLD COURSE ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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There are only two kinds of golfers:
1. Your car’s trunk is spotless with a monogrammed shoe bag
2. Your car’s trunk is an abomination filled with millions of empty boxes of balls, water bottles, extra clubs and grass.
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If you ever felt like giving up let me be a reminder.
I lost the Masters lottery for 12 straight years, I kept trying, and finally won.
2022 Masters here I come.
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Donald Trump to Bryson:
“You know who I like on Tour? Patrick Reed. Guy seems tough, he’s nasty. Good chipper too. I like him.”
You can’t script this stuff 😂
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Are golfers the hardest group to buy gifts for because we‘ve already bought it for ourselves?
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My dad isn’t a morning person.
He’s not a fast mover.
Today we’re playing 9 holes in 40 degrees and he’s up before anyone, he’s fully dressed, and he’s full of energy.
This game 😂
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This story is CRAZY. You seriously can't make it up.
I need you to read and share this post. Let's use the power of social media for good and make the PGA Tour reconsider a flaw in their FedEx Cup point system.
(1/7)
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Tiger Woods. Solid tipper, loves golf as much as ever, just a proud dad and takes Ubers (thank God).
One of us.
6/6
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If I can golf it means I…
1. Can walk
2. Am free
3. Am financially stable
4. Am one of the lucky ones
If I can golf, I am thankful. Share this far and wide if you agree!
#HappyThanksgiving
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Can golf courses stop selling logo balls on pinnacle or top flites please? Thanks!
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MY GOD.
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Tiger: “I had a terrible warmup, I hit them awful. But like my dad always said ‘did you accomplish a task? Did you warm up? Yes? Now go play’ and that’s what I did”
So many of us panic after a bad pre round range sesh. Let’s just go play.
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My travel bag on the way to Bandon:
*51.5 pounds
Southwest Agent:
“I’ll let it slide. Have a great trip. Hit em straight!”
My bag leaving Bandon:
*45 pounds
Me:
“I guess I finally found the silver lining to losing golf balls!”
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Wait Tommy Fleetwood only missed 4 of 18 cuts on the PGA Tour this year and lost his card? I’m so confused how this stuff works.
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The one thing that should be banned from golf?
The automatic cart shut off / slow down if you drive into a “restricted area” forcing you to drive in reverse for 100 yards.
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I went to the Ryder Cup at Medinah in 2012 and if I was to go again here’s what I’d do differently:
1. Get a spot in the grand stands on
#1
to watch every group tee off, be a part of the crowd, and feel the energy of the event
2. Grab some merch
3. Go to a pub and watch the
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Longtime golf writer Steve Di_Meglio is currently battling cancer and covering the Hero World Challenge this week.
Immediately after Tiger Woods' press conference, he walked over and gave him a hug that is making the rounds on the Internet.
For me, it was especially moving
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1997:
*21 year old kid wins the Masters
*Millions of people start playing golf
2020:
*global pandemic hits
*Millions of people start playing golf
Can we just reflect on the fact that a single man, Tiger Woods, had the same impact (if not bigger) for a sport as a pandemic?!
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2008 US Open:
Stevie Williams:
“Tiger you may be jeopardizing your career... maybe it’s time to quit.”
Tiger Woods:
“Fuck you, Stevie. I’m winning this tournament.”
#TigerHBO
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We just left Augusta National and my highlight of the day isn’t what I expected. It wasn’t amen corner. It wasn’t the food prices.
It was when my dad yelled “Look it’s Jason Day!”
…It was Harold Varner III.
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Yesterday I got assigned a South African caddie named Lee (same name as my brother).
Before every shot he’d look at me and say, “Ok really enjoy this one.”
I think we all need this reminder to enjoy the SHOT, not just the day. Thanks to Lee, it was a special one.
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The controversial and impossible task of ranking the 9 courses I played in Scotland:
1. Old Course at St. Andrews - the most magical place in the world. Nothing beats the town of St. Andrews getting closer and closer as you play the back 9.
2. Dunbar - The most fun start I’ve
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If you woke up in a warm bed, in a safe home last night, and played golf today… you have won the lottery of life.
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Hear me out.
I love the honorary starters ceremony at the Masters.
But would it kill them to show where their ball goes? Gimme a shot tracer or at least turn the camera down the fairway!
Who’s with me?
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4 years ago today I met my wife.
I somehow convinced her on a dating app to meet up for a putting contest. Loser (she lost 😎) paid for drinks and snacks after and then talked by a fire pit for hours.
It’s crazy that golf helped me meet the love of my life. Happy 4 years love!
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I think I’ve done it. The ultimate golf day.
Sheep Ranch at sunrise.
Bandon Trails at sunset.
Poetic is the only word to describe it.
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My wife birdied the second hardest hole at Cypress into the wind. You should’ve seen the looks on people’s faces.
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Never feel bad for being obsessed. Stay at the range for 3 hours. Lie awake playing golf holes in your head. Watch countless YouTube videos. Read a Rotella book. Positive obsession is a gift, not a behavior to be suppressed. You’re dangerous when you’re focused. Stay obsessed
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Me:
"You play golf?"
99% of golfers:
"Yes but not well."
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Can we just stop and reflect on how crazy it is that putting your golf shoes on in the parking lot is frowned upon at private clubs?
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I really don’t understand wedding registries. Why is it OK to give a blender and a knife set and not a few dozen golf balls and a new driver?
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I don’t know if there’s anything better on a golf course than being with 3 buddies, everyone hits the green, and we all look at each other and say…
“Look at us! We look like we know what we’re doing!”
Vibes 🤌
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It’s so funny how I will feel guilty if I spend $100 on a new pair of shoes or clothes.
But a $100 round of golf? It might as well be monopoly money.
Zero guilt. Sheer joy.
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It’s official. There is no better compliment on the golf course than “Did you play in college?”
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I talked to my doctor last week about elevated cardiovascular and LDL markers in my bloodwork.
Her response to get more aerobic exercise (among other things).
Me:
“So play more golf, walking obviously?”
Her:
“Yes. It sounds funny but you should play a LOT more golf.”
You
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Dear country clubs,
Putting your shoes on in the parking lot isn’t a crime.
Sincerely,
Every golfer in the world
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Dad or not, imagine hitting a golf shot so pure it gets this face out of Tiger Woods.
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Gas up a jet and play golf anywhere in the world, where you going?
Me:
Tara Iti in New Zealand. Its private, but lets non members visit ONE time during which you can stay as many nights as you like and play as much golf as you like, but it will be your first and final visit.
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Imagine you're going about your day and the opportunity to play golf arises but you're not dressed for it. That's why i wake up every day and put on golf clothes. I choose to be prepared.
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It doesn't seem fair that Chris should miss out on a once in a lifetime chance because of a technicality. Bubba is on LIV. He's injured.
Tag Bubba. Tag the Tour. Tag the media.
Let's see if we can get Chris an exception and get him into the Korn Ferry Finals.
(7/7)
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Dear airports,
We need you to make it more clear which baggage claim our clubs are coming out of. Is it the regular carousel or the oversized bags area?
Sincerely,
Every golfer who’s ever panicked about their clubs being lost
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Over a year ago my wife was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease and we couldn’t try to get pregnant until she was in remission.
We decided to take the card we were dealt and embrace what we did have — flexibility and each other.
So we lived in St. Andrews, Scotland for a
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