Sen fucking sational. Tim is actually a badass so knowing that he likes my chances made me whoop out loud in a Las Vegas Denny’s. Thanks to
@B_KIND_R3WIND
for doing the lords work and putting Dyldo on notice.
I met Jiri briefly while getting to my car at 5AM the night of UFC 295 just pacing and staring at MSG from the street clearly furious he lost. I said hello and instantly regretted it. Never been more intimidated by a human being in my life. Nice guy tho.
The quote tweets on this rant are amazing. Am I the only one who finds it weird that someone who is this all in on family values doesn’t have a wife or children? Would that take too much time away from getting sweaty with the fellas?
"You ask me some stupid sh*t like that? Go f*ck yourself."
Sean Strickland went off on a reporter who pressed him on past comments about the LGBTQ community at
#UFC297
media day.
Me showing up to
@luisjgomez
hospital bed recovering from knee surgery after hearing him call my pregnant fiancé fat on Mondays episode of
@LegionOfSkanks
How in Gods name is
@bullyb170
not being mentioned with Colby and Jorge for the next Leon fight. They literally have unfinished business in the cage and he’s on a 9 fight unbeaten streak. He’s the OBVIOUS choice but everyone seems to have forgotten his name 🤔
Happy 40th birthday to one hell of a boss, cornerman and friend
@luisjgomez
. Just about every good thing in my life is a direct result of blindly following this lunatic and I can’t thank him enough. Here’s to 60 more doggie!
If it was anyone else, I'd never say this, but Cody Brundage deserves to be cut. Does not have the heart of a champion, let alone a UFC fighter. Dude was "pissed" when he thoguht the fight was cancelled then spent 3 minutes trying to argue for the DQ. Shameful.
#UFCDenver
Just got a notification that I started this Twitter 4 years ago. It’s my unofficial reminder that that’s how long I’ve been in this crazy mixed up comedy world. Thanks to
@luisjgomez
@bigjayoakerson
and
@ComicDaveSmith
for taking me on as a Skanktern, love you guys.
My 2023 Top 5 in some particular order.
Getting to spend a week in South Carolina with my bride to be, her family and my family hanging out, fussing over a baby and playing a ton of mini golf, SC is my happy place it truly is Gods country.
@kevinbrennan666
Zero tickets?!?
@ComicDaveSmith
sold out 3 shows at Brooklyn Comedy Club on 3 weeks notice. Think you could beat that? I’ll book a headlining show for you today for the end of the month if you agree to show up and perform 45 minutes on a door deal no matter how many people show.
Last night at
#TheDepraved
@luisjgomez
offered every fan in attendance the opportunity to catch me in a rear naked choke in exchange for a free drink and not one of them tried. It’s the most love I’ve ever felt from a Skanks crowd. What a night at
@TheComedyStore
Hey
@AOC
have you heard about your constituent who overcame being unhoused by fighting his way off the streets? He has a boxing match against someone you’re not fond of soon and your endorsement would mean the world to him.
I was in the rafters at UFC 196 when Diaz beat McGregor I’m talking legit last possible seat in the old MGM arena. 99 PPV’s later and a friendship with
@bisping
and I got to sit in the very first row for UFC 295 at MSG. Truly a once in a lifetime experience.
Checking my weight in my
@SheathUnderwear
before I hop on a plane to Tampa. 2 pounds under the limit in this picture and I’m going for a run when I land. Nothings gonna stop me from bringing the pain this weekend!
#COC
Get tickets or order the stream:
My dad left his hearing aids tuned to the golf during Easter dinner. My man is just eating a steak, smiling ear to ear not hearing a word my mother or I say. Old man is setting the bar high.
If
@bisping
is working a card and he isn’t the man booked to do post fight interviews, someone on that production team is fucking up. Bout time he made his 2021 commentary debut!
#UFCVegas19
There was a moment in there where I think Harrington and I both understood how that fight was gonna go, and we both kind of smiled at the same time and I thought that was cool. Big respect for
@TheMHarrington
I’ll show you the numbers on my ticketing website for all 3 shows. Come sell out just ONE show an you’ll never hear a peep outta me again. Got 8/25 at 8PM available, you pick your feature.
The no brainer
#1
holding my daughter for the first time. A lot of people have seen some ups and downs and a fair bit of struggle from me but I would not change one detail of my life as it brought me to this wonderful little girl.
Thanks for reading and Happy New Year!
Less than a week out from
#CarnivalOfCombat
an I’m on weight. Thanks to
@alexstein99
for putting the pressure on an being the motivation needed to keep working when I wanna take a day off. You don’t wanna miss this fight next Saturday.
"Do I want Hillary Clinton to be eating fucking children with Huma Abedin, her lover, ’cause she’s a lesbian?” McCusker asks in one of these episodes. “No. But this is where it’s brought us.”
#WarMode
If I lose to
@TheMHarrington
I will cut my hair and trim the beard. If I win, I will drag his unconscious body to a Vegas wedding chapel and gay marriage his ass.
It is insane how much people move the goal post on Jake Paul. First it was “fight an athlete not an influencer” so he plants Nate Robinson
Then it’s “Fight a fighter not an NBA player” so he knocks out Askren, then Woodley, then Woodley again and people say,
“okay but fight
Demetrious Johnson criticizes Jake Paul’s selection of opponents:
“What are you doing when you’re fighting these guys that you find off the street. When he fought Andre August, that gentleman was running pizza routes.
Go find somebody who’s 25-26 years old… that’s in the gym,
@luisjgomez
Is it cool that I shared an out of context quote from it that undeniably made War Mode sound funny as all hell? I promise I pirated the article.
So
@IAmAlexScar
just told me her master plan is to have kids so that 5 years down the line our parents will get tricked into buying us (and the kid) a Disney vacation.
Thank you so much to
@luisjgomez
&
@TheMHarrington
for letting me share this great experience with my dad!
I can’t wait for the next time we fight Mike!
🇺🇸CHRIS CUOMO GETS EXPOSED DURING EXCHANGE WITH DAVE SMITH
Cuomo:
"There was so much talk that they don't want you to take Ivermectin.
Joe Rogan got better from Ivermectin.
And by the way, I don't like what people did to Joe Rogan about Ivermectin. I don't like it."
Smith:
@Sir_NapsAlots
Hahaha. Hardly, just boggles the mind how someone without a child can say they’d disown their child for being gay. Hold your new born baby in your arms then tell me you’d turn your back on him/her for any reason.
Never saw someone act so tough after poking someone in the eye the fight was just getting goin and if your satisfied to end it on that note your soft you ain’t getting a title fight off that I took the fight on 3 week notice and came to fight run it back
@ufc
Just watched Brendan Schuabs instagram live get shut down because
@howiemandel
was regurgitating comments from homeless cats and I haven’t stopped laughing for a minute straight.
Happy birthday to
@alexstein99
, I hope he spent it with family and loved ones so they have at least one concrete memory of the man he was before November 4th…
Ian Garry picking up a Ho-Hum split decision against a 33 year old former prospect before calling out a 35 year old who’s lost 3 of his last 5 to get into title contention is Roman Reigns circa 2014 booking. No wonder everyone hates this guy.
#UFC298
Rich man with no kids, casting judgement on a richer man for not having a kid, just to increase his engagement on here. He may have dropped the title, but dude is still a champion grifter.
My girl watches the tiktok sadly, she keeps showing me Miss peaches, the barstool sports guys dog
And I asked my girl "does this man have kids" no
Let me tell you all something if you're a grown ass childless man obsessed about a dog you gotta rethink your life.. rich or poor