SimbaRyu
@TheCowBoy263
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“A delusion starts like any other idea. For a delusion to thrive, all other rational ideas must be eliminated.” | @softlife_zw
Joined February 2015
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Pinned Tweet
I present to you ✨
@softlife_zw
-- a service designed to make your life a little bit easier✨.
Chores can be a bit of a bore, so I've set up a convenience service that takes them off your hands -- laundry🧺, home cleaning🏠 and meal preps🥣.
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This animal is dangerous. How do you go and hunt another predator, in its own habitat, where it has the strategic advantage, and win? 💀
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I've never seen someone simultaneously sit down & stand up before.
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I got a job in 2017!
I got a job in 2017!
I got a job in 2017!
😃
I will get a job in 2017!
I will get a job in 2017!
I will get a job in 2017!
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@uMehliseli_
I always say this. The huns that attract that kind of man do not tweet like this 😂😂
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Bro was probably saving it for a rainy day. Let this be a lesson to you all. Idya mari yako nema baddie TODAY!
Buried treasure of nearly 200 Roman coins found in Italy
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Bein a Zanu kid on the TL must be tough today. Mudhara wako anogona kungo name droppwa 😭😭😭
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When your girl likes the interaction <<<<<<<<
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I don’t have a soundcloud but y’all can send positive energy my way. Goin through a tough time.
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“I love your Zimbabwean accent. Say it again.”
“Hwampon five”
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Chero wakandibata rough I wouldn’t mind. As long as wandibata.
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I will get a job in 2017!
I will get a job in 2017!
I will get a job in 2017!
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Even if i've the capacity, I don't want to leave. I just want my country to work for everyone. I want to walk in the street & say "wangu zvirisei?" I don't want to be called a kwerekwere. I don't want to live in a 6° climate. I don't want to go through a dehumanizing visa process
People are quick to say “leave Zim” like you just show up in any new country. There are so many factors and not everyone has the capacity.
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Inini muma relationship ndinoita zvinhu zvinonyadzisa tsereki. You’ll never find me doin a dog fight with an ex panapa. Akanditanga ndongoti sorry 💀
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I text you a “hi babe” and you reply with “wadii chibaba”. Where do you want me to take the romance from there?
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Neymar would've rolled to Saudi Arabia in pain.
Lauren James is sent off after stamping on Michelle Alozie 😬
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Zanu is scary guys. It is powerful and it is ruthless. But there are still people among us who've chosen to be the face of the fight against it. They've dedicated their lives to that cause. Sometimes they also run out of ideas because this fight is taxing. And that's also ok.
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Texting her "ZiBirthday girl. Uku feeler sei?" at 20.31 >>>>>>>>>>>>>
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If anyone is a psychology/sociology uni student, I'll personally fund your dissertation if you do a topic on the resentment "ordinary" folk have for "ma salad"
No one talks enough about how broke maSalad from high school are now🙌🏽🤞🏽
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Make a comic which tells the story of how you met with the final panel being the date where you ask her to be your girlfriend, while she reads the comic...at least that's what I did.
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ADOPTION DAY 🐾
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Being the face of “cross generational sex” wild as hell.
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Your mental health rent always due though 🙏🏾
Damn, somebody’s rent due today. but not mine I stay w my momma y’all be easy
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Being cooked isn't even the worst thing that can happen to him. Anogona kutotorerwa musikana.
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If it was Nelly he probably would’ve responded with
“Fear not dear brother. Victory is nigh. You’ll be the head and not the tail. Electricity is coming in this generation”
🟡A CCC Gvt would:
1. Rehabilitate Hwange Power Stations
2. Build additional hydro-power.stations including at Batoka Gorge
3. Modernize Zim’s transmission infrastructure
4. Open up energy sector to independent power producers
5. Invest in renewable energy incl solar, wind & gas
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What annoys me about Shads is that he’s clearly a narcissist, so all this attention just goes into feeding his ego and sense of self importance. The larger audience makes it even worse. Apa he’s just a fucking loser zvake.
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If my babes and I have 5 kids in one go, everyone in my family is getting one each.
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Standards. That's one of our biggest ills as Zimbabweans. We lack standards at scale. It reflects absolutely EVERYWHERE in our country. A standard is not a luxury, man, lol. It's a minimum requirement.
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This is what you do when you notice a shortcoming in the movement. You don't go on to say "but I once asked you", you find a solution. Top marks to you,
@freemanchari
.
1. I was hoping that by now
@ZECzim
wld have released a spreadsheet with their votes by polling stations. First things first, we believe ZEC plucked numbers out of thin air. This is how our parallel tabulation looks like as of now. We have been feeding V11s into our system
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Mid girls hate baddies. Lol
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Bro how can you be saying Kevin arikukuisa pressure? Did you feel pressure when Bezos went to space?
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I’m slowly realising that a person murdering thousands of human beings is not a big deal to a lot of people, and that really scares me.
Seeing Mugabe as a hero isn’t a disregard of his flaws&dark side.
Winston Churchill killed millions in India but his statues are all over in Britain, USA & quoted all the time.
Churchill-inspired Obama was a drone Prez & killed thousands in the Middle East.
Hypocrites!
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5k. No way I’m picking a day of bein told “the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing”
$5000 usd cash or spending a day with Dr Strive Masiyiwa 😀😀😀😀
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I can find 5 guys pana 4th dressed EXACTLY like this. Even ma shades 😂😂😂
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you're flaming man but you guys have obviously never dated a hun anogara ku waterfalls
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This why I always admire begotten’s success stories from afar. You retweet his farm one day then the next he’s tweeting from his ass.
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I love this app because you people are mad. I also hate this app because you people are mad.
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Ehe ndisekei kuti Chelsea yadyiwa but tese tichadyiwa on Wednesday.
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Women rizz is just sexual harassment
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Me explaining to my girl that I didn’t even want to cheat but she lacked the trauma needed to fully build her character
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Bro like I'm literally not a kid anymore. Kukafiwa kuden I actually get phone calls kuti ndibatanidzewo. But it still feels like that security I thought I'd have as an adult is so far away. Zanu is 100% to blame for that.
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It's giving "my wife might not be the most beautiful or good looking"
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As a side nigga you've to firm your role and know your boundaries. Coming on here to tweet that you've been natting (whatever that means) a man's hun is very unprofessional.
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I’ve seen down bad, but down bad with a dash of tribalism is something I never thought I’d see 😭😂😂😂
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He fights corruption so that we can also live like this…proper OG 🙏🏾
After doing this, Tendai Biti will tell you that "there is corruption in Zimbabwe"
"Ityai Mwari ma supporters e CCC"
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1. Niggas pee mu yard
2. Niggas ask you for "a room"
3. Niggas come vakabata vola dzavo expecting to drink your alcohol
4. Niggas fight
5. Niggas scare ma nice
6. Niggas lose their car keys while drunk, now they've to sleep paden pako, apa he's parked in front of your garage
- our generation is so scared of hosting house parties, niyabhora
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Is he wearing the Shona National dress as a top?
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He's right. Hip-hop has to be the most accessible genre around these days - you don't need much talent to blow up, mostly because of the culture around it. And that's why it's suffering - too many talentless artists being carried by other attributes.
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Might as well subscribe to Buddie Beatz.
Don’t wanna hear any of you niggas tell me I have a Holy Ten agenda
@_denn1s
@teemadzika
@controlla__zw
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John Wick's dog without batting an eye. Klaus will torture you to the brink of death then heal you with his blood. Rinse & repeat for the whole of eternity.
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This relationship is the reason why I'm balls deep in the talking stage with my crush right now. Shoot your shot kings, you never know how low her standards are.
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There’s a new law in Europe that forces companies to let you know how they came across your data should you request it. Unethical data mining has also been made somewhat illegal.
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While this app has done irreversible damage to society because of its centralization of thought AND fast context switches, I do appreciate how it has shown me how crazy most of you people actually are.
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Ende ma stand eku hopeley munozomada
Crazy how Zim has created this class which affords groove every week & rent a small apt close to the CBD but can never save enough to get out of that situation so they age while stuck there, still living a glam life on social media, till they die & leave zero assets/ inheritance
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Then have people confused asking "Kurungai ndiani?" 😭😭😭
Cant wait to have my triplets and call them," Kurungai, Kurungai, Kurungai"
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Scamming baddies is where I personally draw the line. Munhu at least scam CAs or niggas living in the UAE.
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And the thing is this nigga could be lying, but it will always be on the back of your mind 😂😂
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You guys are seeking normalcy and convention from a case isiri normal. 2 people got together after vaenda "kumasofa" and then got married after 75 days. Do you think vari normal??? 😭😭
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Twitter gotta let us know who’s in someone’s circle fr before tadhomoka
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I've dated my fair amount of huns. Not a single one of them agreed to be dropped off first before the friend, even when it was more convenient. YOU 🫵🏾 dropped the ball, madam
My ex bestie slept with my boyfriend, they dropped me off at home before they went to go on and sleep together 🤟🏽
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It's a weekend in 2005. My dad just bought me Fifa 05. I'm sitting on the cold tiled floor, bowl of cereal on one thigh, gamepad on the other. I boot up my PS2 and hear "EA SPORTS. IT'S IN THE GAME." Life is good.
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My issue is, when we were sold the bond note, the argument was that each & every bond note was backed by actual USDs from an Afrexim loan facility. That’s why they were 1:1 right? If the bond note is no longer 1:1 with the dollar, what happened to the loan?
RBZ Billboard //
"1 bond note = 1 USD (1:1)
No need for separate account"
Mangudya must take responsibility for his policies.
#MangudyaMustGo
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main character of the day has already selected themselves.
It’s actually a Shona accent. The Shona accent is gwash(being gwash is ok. I’m friends with gwash people) compared to the Ndebele accent.
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That's crazy. Manje for me, munhu anemagaro anongoramba anemagaro. There's no respite 😞
Now that I no longer have feelings for this person he kinda ugly
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Has mbira content on her IG, some African garb, maybe a novel or 2 under her belt. Heavy into ATR & frequently speaks about African spiritualism & decolonizing religion on the continent. Has a hari or 2 in her bedroom but you don't talk about that because it freaks you out.
I know the type.
the NGO huns, usually dark skin with dreadlocks, frequent hope masike shows on thursdays, have 2/3 European countries under their belt and regular beer drinkers.
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Uri dako if you think a 26 y.o should’ve built her parents a mansion. Dako re black.
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When the gvt says
#thisflag
is sponsored, do they mean France & USA are buying us airtime & data bundles 👀
@Wamagaisa
@ProfJNMoyo
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Just opened my journal from my therapy days & mahn I was in the pits pits of depression. I don’t even recognise that guy. My entire identity was gone. What’s still strange to me is how different pre-depression Simba is to the one during & the one I am now. Wild wild!
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My adventures with Milo: Part 1
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At first it was banter but now it's an actual problem with Harare DJs. Why're they all so terrible? Is there just a culture of mediocrity in the industry? Are promoters/club owners complicit - do they purposefully hire cheap/subpar talent? What exactly is the problem?
The mixing I heard in Harare last night ka. Zvakaoma.
And I heard "All I do is win" about 6 times. *sigh*
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@n_e_s_s_a_b
Did you cav his binac, oan? The Mugabe’s vey sheets, hey. I skim nazu hold the title deeds, though.
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I hate Zanu from the bottom of my heart. It's the only & most clear instance of hate I've ever had in my life.
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The market forces are the cartels and guys at RoadPort. Our ‘currency’ value is being determined by people vanomirira sadza ra mother’s na 8.
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There are TONS of benefits to being a good person. Life is exponentially easier when you get along with people.
Unfortunately there are no benefits to being a good person
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Gents don't let these women lie to you with their $15 date ideas. Lol. A hun will only think that $15 date is romantic if she already thinks you've money. Think of how rich people think abstract art or those baby drawings in museums are pretty.
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All the huns said…
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that other guy who tweeted this same thing is the one who runs this Madzimai account
@KundaiChiyanika
Ko kuzoti shona ndokudiiko
Imagine some1 says mandebele mahure plus ingochani dzoga dzoga munofara here askana🙄
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The inferiority complex always manifests as insults and cheap jabs. “I’m not as pretty as her, but at least I’m not a single mother.”
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Don't show Admiral Zhao.
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Not when you don’t plan on paying the zvikwereti back
But paying for a trip to Maldives wakamomoterwa nezvikwereti is another level of being fiscally irresponsible
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The older generation is the one that’s in charge of Zimbabwe right now, both in corporate & government. What do they have to show for it? A banana republic & a dead industry. Ngaasati bhowe.
I had a meeting with one of the Managing Directors of a leading company in Zim.
He said “ l don’t trust the generation that’s coming up these days. They are a picture ( Twitter, gram and FB) generation with little to offer if you entrust them with work”
My heart sank
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Ryan Reynolds has fallen victim to the "Jack Sparrow x Johnny Depp" curse. Ever since he played Deadpool, every single character he has played since has been Deadpool inspired.
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Next thing I'm picking up a bottle you paid for and then you start subbing me on Twitter 😞
there’s no need to wear them at groove, i promise you. put on some shades.
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I know the medical explanation for this, but I’ll stick to the chivanhu one. Ropa rajesu whenever I get one of these
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