Tennesseine
@Tennesseine
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#politics #nerd! #dadjokes. American #immigrant in #Spain.
Seville, Spain
Joined November 2010
How do you know a recession is coming? . Simple. Americans just elected a Republican president. Look at history: . Since WWII, almost every single recession has happened after Americans elected a Republican president. Don’t believe me? Do your own research. Y’all love that.
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Mexicans didn’t try to overthrow our government. You did.
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Trump raped young girls. Biden had a bad debate night. Press: Derp, biDeN sHoULd sTeP aSiDE! 🤡. America has lost all sense of morality and sanity.
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To my knowledge, only one Speaker of the House has ever been convicted of pedophilia. He wasn't gay. He wasn't a drag queen. He wasn't trans. He wasn't woke. He was a straight, Christian, married man. His name was Dennis Hastert. And he was and remains a proud Republican.
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You can always tell when there's a natural disaster in #Texas:. Ted Cruz flees. Joel Osteen locks his doors. And the Texas GOP suddenly loves the federal government.
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My Spanish girlfriend finds US politics confusing. Today she said, loosely translated: "But aren't the Republicans supposed to be the Christian party? Then why do they like this Trump guy who cheats on everyone with prostitutes?" . 🤣. Good question!.
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In 2008, a barrel of oil hit $145 while gas averaged $3.27. Now oil only costs $87 a barrel, but gas is $3.51. But yeah, keep blaming Democrats when the guy lubing your ass is a Texas oil billionaire, bitchboy.
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A judge making about 200k was able to pay a 92k country club membership joining fee and put a cash down payment (that exceeded his ENTIRE STATED NET WORTH) on a house worth over a million dollars. His name is Brett Kavanaugh. And he was shady AF before anyone knew about Ford.
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Murder rate for NY state: 4.8 per 100k. Murder rate for NY City 5.3 per 100k. Murder rate across the US: 5.5 per 100k. Murder rate for Texas: 8.2 per 100k. Murder rate for Mississippi: 23.7 per 100k. But tell us again how safe red states are, #MAGA. 🤡.
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At this point I’m no longer saying I’ve “moved” my family to Europe from the United States. I’m saying I’ve *evacuated* them. We’re not expats. We’re refugees from a country that’s lost its collective mind.
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Astronomers have known there would be an eclipse on April 8 2024 for hundreds of years. Hundreds. Humans have been accurately predicting eclipses for thousands of years. But yeah. It's because your neighbor's son is gay. Dumbasses. 🤦♂️.
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Tim Walz's daughter helps the homeless. Trump's kids sort coke off hookers after a big day of defrauding children's charities. This isn't a hard choice, y'all.
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I live in Spain. Laura is a lying POS. Everyone here thinks Trump is a clown and a psycho. Only the fascist party likes him, and they just got humiliated in the elections, spanked as badly as Biden spanked Donny in 2020. 🤣.
I’m in Spain. And everyone here loves Donald Trump. You have no idea how many people I’ve chatted with here who have told me some Version of “the world is F’d if Donald Trump doesn’t get back in!”. It’s so true!.
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When Trump dies, they’ll have to bury him in a mausoleum protected by 20-foot walls and electric fences just to keep people from pissing on his grave every day. You hear that, #Trump? You’ll finally get your wall!!!! 😂😂😂.
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In Europe, we have violent video games. In Europe, we have absent dads. In Europe, religiosity is much lower overall than in the US. In Europe, we have mental illness. And in Europe, we have very few mass shootings. It's the guns. Deal with your mess, America. #ItsTheGuns.
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There is no mystery as to why Truth Social, a company with a shrinking user base and loses of $49 million last year, has gone public for billions. It's a vehicle for funneling foreign money to Trump. Plain and simple.
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I’m done going high. You know what going high gets you? Children in cages and white supremacists in the White House. So save your pretty speeches. This is a knife fight for the very existence of American democracy. Don’t like it? Go home and cry about it.
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Trump promised cheaper meds. Biden delivered them. Trump promised to bring back manufacturing jobs. Biden delivered them. Trump promised GDP growth over 3% per year. Biden delivered it. Apparently Donald Trump is good at making promises that only Joe Biden can keep.
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You are FAR safer in San Francisco (murder rate = 6.8 in 100k) and NYC (6 in 100k) than you are in red states like Alabama (15.7), Mississippi (23.7), and Louisiana (21.3). But yeah, please do go on about how Republicans are tough on crime. 🤡🤣.
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What kind of Christian calls feeding poor children "woke"? . Sick, immoral people. The GOP is morally bankrupt.
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Hey, Trump and Pence: if you’re looking for your testicles, I found them. They’re in Pelosi’s purse. #TrumpPelosi.
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I have zero Biden hats. I don't have a Biden flag. If Biden makes a mistake, I don't pretend he didn't. I call it out. I don't change my values to suit his positions and policies. I don't pretend he was sent by any god. These are all the ways you know I'm not in a cult.
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How come the @gop and the maga'ts can't answer this very simple question:. "Why does a billionaire need to raise money from poor and middle class people to pay for his lawyers?'. Seriously. Straightforward question. Explain it to me like I'm 5. Please.
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.@JerryFalwellJr isn’t disgusting and vile because he got freaky with his wife and a friend. I don’t judge people’s kink. He’s disgusting and vile because he’s built a life and a fortune off telling others that THEY are disgusting and vile for not following a Bible he ignores.
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Christians: You can't be moral without religion. Reality: The more religious a state or country, the more violent it tends to be. The most violent states in America are also among the most religious. Countries where most people are atheists are among the most peaceful on Earth.
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Impeaching a secretary you know for sure will be acquitted by the Senate is theatrics and does nothing to secure any border. Passing a bipartisan border security bill would have. But Trump said no. So STFU about the border, Republicans, because we know you don't care.
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As many of you know, my ex-wife and I recently moved to Spain with our kids. What many don't know is that Katy is a myeloma survivor. To keep it at bay, she needs a med: Revlimid. In the US, its manufacturer charges $26k a month for it. Just got her first fill here: €0.
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It's already illegal for non-citizens to vote in US federal elections. So Mike Johnson wants to make it. what? EXTRA illegal? With sugar on top? . What a fucking clown.
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Let’s stop this narrative right now that #Kavanaugh was a great candidate derailed by these rape allegations. He was a garbage candidate caught in ***multiple lies*** and THEN got credibly accused of attempted rape. Ford’s accusations were just the cherry on this shit sundae.
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Remember the five stages of Republican mass shooting grief:. 1) Thoughts & Prayers.2) It’s too soon to talk about it. 3) Don’t blame guns. 4) Get more guns. 5) That was last week. Why are we still talking about it?.
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I think @laurenboebert's son should be hauled in front of Congress and his sex tape should be played in the House. Then left-wing media should make up a bunch of conspiracy theories about him and hound him constantly. Also: has he paid his taxes? . Does he have a laptop?.
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My five-year-old is smarter than the entire GOP. He just explained to me that if people don’t have enough food, they might have to “be robbers and get arrested to jail,” so he asked if we could give them his $5 from doing chores because “I have enough moneys.” ❤️.
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Raise your hands if as a teenager you were never a facist little shit who cruelly taunted Native Americans and wouldn’t have cared if people filmed any of your interactions with people in public. 🙋🏼♂️🙋🏿♀️🙋🏽♂️🙋🏼♀️🙋🏻♂️🙋♀️🙋🏽♀️🙋🏾♂️🙋♂️🙋🏻♀️🙋🏽♀️.
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I don’t mean to brag, y’all, but today I was able to identify several animals on my toddler’s See ‘n’ Say Farmer Says.
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Immigrants didn't try to overthrow our government. #MAGA did. Immigrants didn't mass-murder Black folks praying in church and shopping for food. MAGA did. An immigrant didn't behead his father for being a federal worker. MAGA did. Immigrants aren't the problem. Trump is.
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I’m sorry, I can’t tell you my real name. I prefer to remain amomunus. amanumis. anymouseious. ? Fuck it: secret. 😂😂😂 Oh, @realDonaldTrump, you’re the gift that keeps on giving.
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Trump didn't turn anyone into a racist or xenophobe. They were always there, scuttling around in the dark, hiding from the lights of decency and a sense of shame about their hatred. He just made the disgusting little cockroaches feel safe in the light.
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Kristi Noem is a typical Republican:. She's not sorry for what she did. She's just angry about being held accountable.
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I agree with more of @BernieSanders’ policies than @JoeBiden’s. Here’s why I prefer Joe anyway:. Summary of Joe: unify, cooperate, achieve the most good for the most people, be civil, evolve, progress. Summary of Bernie: divide, defy, alienate, bully, attack, destroy, & blame.
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Obama didn’t divide America. The racists who despised him for having the audacity to be a successful African-American man are the ones who divided America, the same people who helped a racist Twitter troll become president.
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I'm old enough to remember when right-wing terrorists blew up a government building in Oklahoma City, murdering 168 Americans from ages three months to 73 years. So forgive me if I will never believe that the radical right is pro-life.
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Stop saying. “I support Trump, but I’m not a racist.”. When you support and enable a racist, that makes you a racist, regardless of how you personally feel about (or even behave towards) others. (Feel free to insert “misogynist” and “homophobe” for “racist” while you’re at it.).
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Hi. My name is Marco Antonio Rubio. I was born in 1971 in Miami to Cuban parents. They didn’t become US citizens until 1975. Without the 14th Amendment, I wouldn’t be guaranteed citizenship and might have been ineligible to run for president. Yet I oppose the #14A. @marcorubio
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Warren voters: Sure hope she wins the nomination. But most importantly, let’s beat Trump. Biden voters: Sure hope he wins. But most importantly, let’s beat Trump. Sanders voters: WE WILL BURN THIS COUNTRY TO THE FUCKING GROUND AND VOTE FOR TRUMP IF BERNIE DOESN’T WIN! . 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️.
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Billionaires: I need to write this private jet off my taxes because. I dunno. money. ?. Republicans: Seems legit! Done! . Middle-class workers: Ummm. can I write off my student loans since nobody will hire me without this expensive degree?!. Republicans: FUCK YOU, COMMIES!.
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What’s up with all my fellow liberals making a big deal about Fox News being off Twitter? The number of lies being spread on social media has fallen precipitously since their departure. Celebrate!.
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I really wish more people understood what it means to be an introvert. Yet another person this week gave me that line: “How can you say you’re an introvert?! You’re so outgoing and charming with everyone when you’re out in public!” . Ugh. People, that’s not what it’s about.🤦♂️.
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Laughing my ass off at Trumpkins threatening to leave the US if Trump is convicted. Please. Those morons wouldn't last a week living abroad. 🤣.
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So Melania now has large fake breasts and blond hair. Does this mean Fox News must immediately give her her own show?.
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As a resident of Charlotte, the city scheduled to host the 2020 GOP convention, I am just so crushed to learn they’ve canceled on us and that now my town won’t be invaded by thousands of incel bigots and losers who worship an orange tinpot dictator-wannabe. Crushed, I tell you.
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It’s sad to see even some liberals and moderates falling for the #CovingtonBoys #PRcon. They’re misogynistic, racist little shits. Full stop. No version of any video shows otherwise. Don’t believe the “we got it wrong” narrative. It’s bought and paid for.
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For the record: no NATO country is behind on any payments of any kind. As usual, this is just Trump talking out of his ass.
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Last time I tried to go to urgent care in the US, I gave up because the wait was 4+ hours. Just took my ex to urgent care here in Spain with its "evil" universal healthcare: within 1 hour, she'd seen the nurse & doctor and been to the pharmacy. Total cost: $20 (for the 3 meds).
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Trump eats well-done steak with ketchup and owns a gold toilet. How do you grow up wealthy yet STILL manage to have the taste of a meth addict who hit the Powerball? . Just goes to show: money can’t buy taste or class.
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Omg!!! A young woman danced as a teen and it’s on film! Quelle horreur!! The scandal! Makes me long for the good ol’ days when. oh, wait, fuck this hypocritical shit, our #FLOTUS was a porn model and Republicans don’t care. So spare me your manufactured outrage.🖕🏻🖕🏿🖕🏽🖕🏼🖕🏾.
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For the record, @SarahHuckabee:. Arkansas has an infant mortality rate higher than many third-world countries. It is one of the poorest states in America. It has a very high rate of teen pregnancy. It is consistently rated among the dumbest states.
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Some liberals hating on 41. Others acting like he was an angel just because he’s dead. How about neither? He was a decent man in many ways. But definitely flawed, and he was involved in some very ugly things. In other words, he was human. So just mourn him as such.
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For a generation that grew up watching Bugs Bunny kiss Elmer Fudd and dress in drag half the time, Boomers sure are sensitive about drag queens.
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People ask, “why should I have to pay for #MedicareForAll if I don’t use it?” . Why should others pay for your roads if they don’t use them? To educate your kids if they have none? To pay firefighters if only your house is on fire? . Why? Simple. Because #WeAreAllInThisTogether.
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I just want to point out that all this “useless mask usage and hand-washing” have also given us the lowest number of flu cases ever recorded. 2300. Not deaths. Cases. In the entire United States. Previous year: 38,000,000, with 22,000 deaths. #MasksWork.
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Trump compared California to Finland. Because they BOTH HAVE FUCKING TREES. JFC. Finland is cold, has short, rainy summers, and steady precipitation throughout the year. California is FUCKING CALIFORNIA. Christ, I cannot believe what a dipshit this guy is. Unfuckingbelievable.
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Just curious. When people say “Save the Whales!” do you ask them why dolphin lives don’t matter? . “Save the whales” doesn’t mean “fuck the dolphins.” It means whales are at special risk and we need to acknowledge and address that. Do you understand where I’m going with this?.
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All I want for my birthday today is Donald Trump’s resignation and imprisonment. Is that really so much to ask, y’all?.
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Attention all idiots. For the last time: THE STOCK MARKET IS NOT THE ECONOMY. It’s an equities market that can do quite well while the middle class falls apart. Indeed, it’s often *boosted* by news that is decidedly bad for middle-class America.
That the Dow is touching 25k in the middle of this shitshow tells you all you need to know about government’s actual influence on the economy.
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Hey, #Ohio: if women can get the death penalty for abortions, any man having sex resulting in unwanted pregnancy has to be castrated (right before his own execution if it leads to an #abortion). #FairIsFair.
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Saying you shouldn’t release the police body cam footage of #Uvalde because it makes the police look bad is like saying you shouldn’t fingerprint murder suspects because it might make them look guilty and hurt their feelings. 🤡 #GOPClownCar #UvaldeCoverUp.
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I still can't name a single @taylorswift13 song, because I'm old and out of touch with popular culture. But boy do I enjoy watching the #MAGA crowd get triggered by her. Apparently just by existing, she can trigger them. Yet these incels think they can handle a civil war?. 🤡.
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Fixed the headline for y'all: . "Draft-dodging sniveling coward @realDonaldTrump won't let trans heroes do job he was too chickenshit to do".
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When your sister dies from a back alley abortion and your cousin is murdered by her boyfriend because he didn’t want to be a father, ask yourself if it was all worth it just because you were mad about Dems not canceling your student loans fast enough.
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I can always tell when I’m driving through evangelical country: the billboards are all either 1) how to get a lawyer and sue somebody; or 2) Jesus; or 3) porn shops.
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Me: I think Bernie is too divisive to be our candidate. Bernie supporters: Let me scream at you and let’s fight over this till I block you. To, ya know, prove how NOT divisive he is for us. 🤦♂️😂🤷♂️.
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A lot of older Democrats are saying they don’t get the cursing. Well, you’re right: you don’t. It’s a generational thing. Boomers and older see cursing as something to be done only in private. Many GenXers & younger don’t feel the need for that hypocrisy: speak your fucking mind!.
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@liquidloose Got it. You people rape kids and that makes me despicable. Makes perfect sense.
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Are all Christians pedos now? . Or just the Republican ones?.
Three men linked to Texas A&M’s Chi Alpha ministries, Assemblies of God, have been arrested for child sex crimes.
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Follower count is jumping again. Time to alienate/enrage some people into blocking me:. -Gods aren’t real. That includes yours. -Astrology is bullshit. -Science is real. No planet is flat, including Earth. Climate change is a thing. -Oh, and my kids are cuter than yours.😜.
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Would it be super evil of me to start a fake #QAnon twitter account with cryptic messages just to mess with those dipshits’ heads? 😇.
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Today in Spain, a disturbed man with a large knife threatened to decapitate his parents and kill cops. The officers confronting him were all well armed. Yet they never fired a shot. They used deescalation techniques to resolve the situation. This is how real policing works.
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When your friend dies six years ago, but all that time you can’t delete his contact information. So you randomly dial his old numbers one day and strangers answer. And you finally realize he’s gone. Truly gone.
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Legitimate question: have you ever ONCE come across a person wearing a red #MAGA’t hat who wasn’t a complete asshat? I mean literally even just once?.
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🎶🎵Green Acres is the place to be! Farm livin’ is the life for me! 🎶🎵. 😂😂😂😜
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I just left a cart full of groceries and walked out of @Publix for the last time, since they’re more afraid of offending #covidiots not wearing masks than they’re concerned about protecting their customers.
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Might want to mute me this week, because I’m going to be pounding home the same point ad nauseam: #Kavanaugh has been caught in multiple lies *unrelated to #ChristineBlaseyFord* and this #PERJURY disqualifies him to be a judge at ANY level, including his current post.
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It speaks volumes about the character of conservatives that they assume liberals who want more opportunity for the poor & marginalized must themselves be poor & marginalized. Because they know that that’s the only way THEY would ever care about such people.
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I'm old enough to remember when Gary Hart dropped out of the presidential race in '88 because he had an old-school affair. No rape. No illegal hush money. No prostitution involved. He just boinked a chick who wasn't his wife and he was out. Now? Apparently there are no limits.
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Breaking my rule to express disgust upon learning @realDonaldTrump visited the hospital. I’ll lose followers for saying this, but I don’t care: #Trump visiting #FloridaSchoolShooting victims is like Hitler visiting sick Jews at Auschwitz. They’re as much his victims as Cruz’s.
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When Clinton was being hounded by Starr over a blowjob, #Kavanaugh helped lead the charge. The second he went to work for Bush, he changed his tune and decided that presidents are above the law while in office. In other words, the perfect #GOP nominee: hypocritical to the bone.
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ALL LIBERAL PUNDITS:.Just fucking quit it. Stop talking out of your asses. Stop pretending you have inside knowledge about #Mueller. Stop saying Don Jr is being hauled off to jail tomorrow. Stop bullshitting. Unless you have HARD EVIDENCE, just STFU! I’m tired of you crying wolf!.
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Americans do not know how to use roundabouts. That’s the tweet.
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If you’re black and mistakenly enter a white person’s residence, THEY have the right to shoot YOU dead. If you’re white and mistakenly enter a black person’s residence, YOU have the right to shoot THEM dead. But yeah. #Racism’s dead. Sure. Fuck you for saying don’t #TakeAKnee.
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I don’t want a summary written by a Trump lackey. I don’t want CNN commentary. I don’t want clever analysis. I don’t want the pundits’ takes. I want to read the damn #MuellerReport myself, because my taxes paid to produce it & it’s about my gov’t. #ReleaseFullMuellerReport.
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Trump is saying if you just re-elect him next year, he’ll give you healthcare. He won’t tell you how. He won’t tell you exactly when. He won’t tell you how it’ll be paid for. Just trust him. Because he’s a reliable guy who’d never lie to you.
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I’m convinced the red #MAGA’t hats are simply used to spread hate at rallies. People tell me they never see them anywhere else, even in very red states. I did a road trip all over the South, including very rural and red areas last summer, and saw exactly zero people wearing them.
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My cousin’s eldest was shot to death in Arkansas last night, trying to break up a fight apparently. An incident that almost anywhere else would have ended in a fistfight, maybe a night in jail for these kids, instead ended in yet another senseless death. And yes, because guns.
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We really need to stop adding shit to Joe’s list. It’s long enough as it is. #RoseGardenMassacre #BidenHarris
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In my wildest flights of fancy I could never have imagined or predicted this level of pathetic absurdity. 😂🤡 #TrumpIsALaughingStock #TrumpIsDone
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