at ted for some reason
@Ted
Followers
5,927
Following
816
Media
1,466
Statuses
20,823
Producer and video editor @CNN ; generally bothersome.
DC via South Dakota
Joined March 2007
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Pinned Tweet
Here's another periodical reminder that I am not Ted Cruz. Never have been. Never will be. Check yer spacebars.
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Hey
@JustinMcElroy
look what I just spotted in my neighborhood national chain pharmacy/sundries store's freezer section! Tell
@travismcelroy
and
@griffinmcelroy
to cram it with their cruel mockery. I got your back, bro. It's dee-lish.
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@inthefade
The Parks and Rec when Leslie is running for city council and has to give a speech at the ice arena but there’s not enough carpet to get to the stage and “get on your feet” keeps looping while they all fall down on the ice. It’s maybe the best physical comedy of the entire show
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@bugcounter
that video gave me so much anxiety last night. thank you for restoring a bit of calm and sanity tonight to all the ~gestures wildly~
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Abdul you should do an 18 minute talk in a dramatically lit theater about username confusion stemming from the early days of twitter dot com.
please don’t offer me money for my username unless you’re confident you can outbid a $54 billion pharmaceutical company. thanks love u.
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Oh wow it’s been a full ten years since
@hotdogsladies
@scottsimpson
and
@adamlisagor
recorded one of their best shows.
Celebrate with some restroom roast beef why don’t you?
Ten years.
Well that’s the way it goes when you’re watching a baby ride a dog.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10!
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when i worked in local tv years ago we would play the national anthem at midnight before signing off and broadcasting a still of our logo all night. right now it feels like we're in the commercial break before the signoff. Save big money at Menard's. [banjo flourish] 🫡
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The local news tonight will be a delightful madhouse
Looking at you
@shomaristone
and
@dougkammerer
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@hotdogsladies
It’s the most Roderick thing ever for him to take AN HOUR to say “hey there may be leaf blower noises while we record.”
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when this web site crashes and is no longer reachable i'll still be drafting a post about how it's technically a white check mark inside a blue spiky shape because none of you went to art school and it shows
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I hope this is a training exercise. How many
@wmata
engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
@unsuckdcmetro
http://t.co/8IUPcs16b5
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Here’s your occasional reminder that there is no Ted Cruz at this account. If you type at Ted space Cruz, then this bad web-site will think it’s me. Don’t do that.
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@JustinMcElroy
@griffinmcelroy
That’s a Forbes’ 30 Over 30 Media Middle Manager if I’ve ever seen one. Is he headed to the stock market to do a business?
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WITH ZERO PERCENT REPORTING, the people on TV will just keep talking anyway.
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Maybe it’s because I haven’t slept much the past few weeks but “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” and “The Butterfield Diet Plan” are basically the same story. Increbidle.
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Our house is a mess with kids’ toys and an underperforming automatic ice maker but sure come on over tomorrow to talk about whatever this is I guess? Bring chairs.
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There’s a lot of pain and sadness in the word right now. If you need a break for a few moments of joy, please enjoy some baby content.
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HAPPENING NOW plz say hello to Alice. She arrived at 5:43pm eastern today. 7lbs, 6oz. An eventful but quick delivery, and everybody is doing well.
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One of my favorite parts of
@BelowDeck
are the reaction shots of
@capthlr
when he has dinner with the drunk guests and things start to unspool.
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once this hell hole web site finally crashes for good tomorrow my last tweet will be my ted talk wherein i tell you why I use Avid keyboard shortcuts in adobe premiere and you will all have to applaud me
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@juliezweil
What about adults who have been vaccinated but are on immunosuppressive medication so the effectiveness of the vaccine is unknown/weakened? Asking for me.
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No pressure or anything
@Lin_Manuel
but your country desperately needs your practical tactical brilliance tonight.
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3:50am. 7lbs3oz. Benjamin Harlan Harvey Severson. We’re calling him Bear for short, because reasons.
@caitlinjharvey
did a phenomenal job. The nurses, doctors, and staff at Sibley are quite simply amazing. He was a…
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@mellowbeing
@Erikillstabyou
@alphabet
LOL NOPE
My response to TEDtalks years ago could be summed up as "FIGHT ME!" And they went away.
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You guys, MSNBC just let a YouTube comment talk on air for several minutes.
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Tonight I showed Benjamin (age 2.5ish) how to set the clock back an hour so he’d know in the morning he can look at it and sleep in and he just stared me dead in the eyes and let out a massive fart. Hashtag daylight saving time
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@johnroderick
@hotdogsladies
@inthefade
Crows are to grackles as …
A) Owls are to pillows
B) Hitler is to tubas
C) Detachable penis
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Join me, friends, back in the one true “social” “media” service.
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quick question for the
@dobyfriday
friends: what was the ep where
@hotdogsladies
was taking about food delivery and the punchline is “and he was SITTING IN HIS CAR VAPING!”
I’m trying to find it to play to boratvoicemywife because of a similar encounter we had the other day
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The most I’ve seen our 4 month old smile continuously today was just now for almost the entire duration of
@johnroderick
’s “The Commander Thinks Aloud.”
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Whenever
@danbenjamin
and
@hotdogsladies
(and maybe
@marcoarment
?) do a Morning Zoo show - here's their first promo:
http://t.co/st2bxKSv
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After seeing a new neurologist at a new hospital system today to talk MS, it feels like when a plumber or cable tv installer is looking at your stuff and says “Oh yeah, that last guy was really sloppy and missed a bunch of stuff.”
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Sturgill Simpson’s bass player laughing as the drummer knocked a cymbal off the stand is the best thing I’ve seen this week.
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A what kind of talk?
It was a powerful, emotional, and challenging journey to relive my life experiences and 18-year career in an attempt to distill them into a 12 minute message. It’s a thrill to share my
@ted
talk with you! I hope you enjoy it!
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Hey fuckers remember that time when 538 people in Florida didn’t give a shit and then we wound up bombing everything and had no money?
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I watched a larger-than-I-care-to-admit amount of Ricky Jay videos in the last two days, and now my YouTube homepage recommendations are just “OOPS! All Card Tricks!”
This in no way is a complaint, just an empirical observation.
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Some people watch for the sports.
Some people watch for the commercials.
I watch so I can pause the DVR to read the legal disclaimers in the commercials that completely undermine the ads they’re in.
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Oh shit, guys. Janice just said there’s cake in the conference room. Day = made. Bye.
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If you were on the steps of the Capitol this AM, I was the guy who yelled "IF YOU FUND SCIENCE AND EDUCATION WE CAN DO THIS MORE OFTEN!"
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Actual locker room talk:
"Who keeps changing all the TVs to FoxNews?"
"Not me."
"Me neither."
"So annoying."
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Hey remember that time when a bunch of rich old cranky white fucks tried to buy and election and stifle the vote and we all said “fuck you”?
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@hotdogsladies
@dobyfriday
I have infected my wife and several friends with The Butterfield Diet Plan video this past week. We now communicate with each other exclusively in names of Treats.
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I’ve watched a lot of Trump tape this last year. Sometimes it’s “big league” and sometimes it’s “bigly” and I can only tell in slow-mo
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@Lin_Manuel
@mamacita1126
Was your “Tarantella” also in 6/8 time? Because writing something in that time sig at that age would be amazing.
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Here again I remind everybody making posts on this web site that there is no Ted Cruz at this account please stop. Just don’t tweet. Don’t do it. Go outside. Watch Survivor. Bake some cookies. Leave your keyboard.
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BREAKING NEWS: We can now confirm that
@caitlinjharvey
and I got engaged last week
@bearcountryusa
.
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No.
I used to love seeing stuff like
#TheTitleOfMyTEDTalk
trending and would jump in with some fun titles but now it's all awkward since I actually have my own
@TED
@TEDTalks
presentation. Am I even allowed to participate in this anymore?
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EXCLUSIVE: 5 first drafts of jingles based on somebody else's songs buried in a link after the jump! [NSFW]
http://t.co/gr7oN1wr
@RoderickOn
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Klout believes I’m influential about Reggae.
Fuck everything.
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TORNADO WATCH FOR DC IN JANUARY BUT IT’S NOT CLIMATE CHANGE GLOBAL WARMING BECAUSE AL GORE IS FAT ALSO SOMETHING ABOUT THE FREEMASONS
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This is a Very Great Episode of a show that has many many great episodes.
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boy this sure is some exPLOSIVE testimony
[pause for laughter]
[only audio nerds laugh]
I'll see myself out.
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Editing during breaking news special coverage means wiping pizza grease off Wacom tablet/pen and keyboard at regular intervals.
0
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Every time TeeVee says “Hurricane Sandy” I imagine
@lonelysandwich
standing on a Delaware beach doing The Fishstick & occasionally farting.
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No.
Sure 3000 United States Dollars would be nice and all, but you asked via a LinkedIn message.
So no.
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Happy Day of Wondering How Chris Elliott’s Camera Could Transmit A Live Signal From Gobbler’s Knob Without Any Visible Cables Running Back To The Live Truck Day.
I truly am an unpleasant person with which to watch movies.
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Here's your
#RotL
Thing for S01E07.
http://t.co/pEHDQ4H2
(cc
@hotdogsladies
&
@johnroderick
)
#MalcolmGladwell
#GermanPoopPorn
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They’ll lowball the offer.
TED should buy TikTok and then we can finally have TEDToks
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We’ve now spent more time reading Angry Tweets from people complaining about the jeopardy all stars show format tonight than the number of actual gameplay minutes in the show itself
#JeopardyAllStars
#jeopardy
#MadOnline
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I didn't 'curate' a 'list' of 'talks' but I did make some bomb-ass garlic mashed potatoes yesterday, so lead with that.
.
@TED
has curated a list of 12 talks on the topic of leadership. They are available to watch here:
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This tropical-themed bar is playing the whole Mr. James Buffet catalogue and I keep expecting to see
@JustinMcElroy
walk in at any moment.
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@hotdogsladies
@AlexCox
@MaxTemkin
@bugcounter
after all this week’s chaos, driving home tonight and almost peeing myself laughing at today’s
@dobyfriday
was exactly the catharsis I didn’t know I needed until I had to actually pull over for a bit because I was laughing so hard
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@hotdogsladies
I’ve had bosses and clients give feedback saying the music I picked from a stock library “wasn’t evil enough.”
0
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Pfizer Number Two is done and they’re blasting
@carlyraejepsen
’s E•MO•TION in the post-shot waiting area and tbh it’s great.
0
1
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INTERNET: Here is tonight's encore from the
@johnroderick
and
@jonathancoulton
show.
http://t.co/feyeajp5
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No, what is it?
Ever heard of
@Ted
? Meet Lara Stein, founder of TEDx and an advisory board member to TILE. Over the past few two years, Lara has helped guide TILE’s growth into the world’s largest conversation series with advice and stories from her time at TED.
#tiletalks
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Because
@hotdogsladies
and
@johnroderick
keep fighting about WWII, here's the poster for their forthcoming (?) podcast:
http://t.co/N4BUmrbs
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3
7
JOB LISTING: BASEBALL MANAGER
MUST BE ABLE TO MAKE A PHONE CALL TO A PHONE ABOUT 400 FEET AWAY
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Lady on street: “Wait wait wait. *What* does your shirt say?”
Me: “We’re All Vice Presidents in the Joe Biden Fan Club.”
Lady: “Ugh. No.”
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Haven’t been on twitter dot com much this weekend because it was our wedding and I was busy.
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That one time when I shot b-roll of my kitchen for a story I edited at home that aired on cnnsitroom.
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“It pops out of play near one of about fifteen Elvises.”
This is what happens when hockey happens in Vegas.
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If you ever get pizza with
@johnroderick
, I beg you to not use rhetorical trickery to get your way.
http://t.co/1OFbLwJv
cc
@hotdogsladies
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I'd like to go to London and stay in a fancy hotel and have people listen to my rambling BrainThoughts. Can ya hook a guy up, Marriott?
Our partnership with
@TED
helps spark new ideas on the road. Last week we powered the Speaker Cafe, a space for networking, inspiration and ideation with
#TEDxLondon
speakers. It encouraged guests to connect, collaborate and share their brilliance with the world.
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Sorry not sorry to all my neighbors this morning when I started the car and my phone auto connected Bluetooth and started blasting Reel Big Fish at full volume in an otherwise quiet and peaceful suburban cul-de-sac.
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28 hours after leaving our house in DC, we’ve checked into our Sydney hotel.
I need a shower.
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Noted World War Two Historians
@hotdogsladies
and
@johnroderick
remind us that it all began with tubas.
http://t.co/NDJ27GGv
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.
@BillGates
Hi, Bill.
What’s up?
Seen any good movies lately?
How about that weather we’ve been having?
Crazymaking, right?
Yeah.
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