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My name is Eric Saul, and I am the creator of the Takoma Torch. Unfortunately, this is not a satirical article. Instead, this a disturbing true story that I never would have believed was possible: …

TAKOMA PARK, MD – Longtime resident Constance Komplaner took to her local listserv to express her disapproval of the many new “cookie-cutter” homes being built near her neighborho…

TAKOMA PARK, MD – In an effort to protect residents and their neighborhoods, the Takoma Park Historic District has established a height limit of only two stories for anyone wishing to partici…

TAKOMA PARK, MD – Long time residents of Takoma Park were prepared to protest the development of a brand new multi-family apartment building in the city until they learned it was planned for …

WASHINGTON, DC – After being stuck in traffic for hours on Sunday due to the annual Cherry Blossom Festival, area drivers demanded the District cut down all of the cherry trees to help improv…

TAKOMA PARK, MD – Excited to emerge from their underground nests, Brood X cicadas were disappointed to discover city residents were still fighting with each other over the same trivial issues…

WHEATON, MD – After a 14-year hiatus, David Simon and George Pelecanos announced they have begun production on a sixth season of their hit HBO show, The Wire, which will focus this time on th…

CINCINNATI, OH – Baseball star Max Showalter is refusing to wear his catcher’s mask behind the plate this season, citing statistics showing the chance of him surviving the impact of a foul ba…

Photo Credit: Dan Reed CHEVY CHASE, MD – Keeping in character with its wealthy, single-family neighborhood, the new public library in Chevy Chase has decided to ban books referencing the plan…

SILVER SPRING, MD – Frustrated by a lack of enforcement to stop the recent wave of street racing in Downtown Silver Spring, County Councilmember Tom Hucker is going undercover to bust up the …

ANNAPOLIS, MD – The Maryland Court of Appeals has ruled that the state’s 2022 primary election will now be held on July 19, a delay of 3 weeks, in order to give candidate Brooke Lierman…

A LONG TIME AGO IN AN INTERGALACTIC COURT ROOM FAR, FAR AWAY – Darth Vader admitted today to traveling across the galaxy armed with a Death Star in response to protests against the Galactic E…

SILVER SPRING, MD – As final votes get tallied and major news sources have called the Maryland gubernatorial primary races in favor of Democrat Wes Moore and Republican Dan Cox, residents of …

ANNAPOLIS, MD – Republican Governor Larry Hogan announced his intention yesterday to opt out of losing what would probably be a fairly close Senate race against Democrat Chris Van Hollen to i…

The former chairman of the U.S Consumer Product Safety Commission needed a new kidney to save his life. His son's baseball coach was the perfect match.

SILVER SPRING, MD – Following the xenophobic backlash to an immigrant business owner lawfully renovating the Weller’s Dry Cleaning building, one of the few local examples of mid-20th ce…

TAKOMA PARK, MD – Three years after closing the northbound lane of Laurel Avenue to expand outdoor seating for restaurants during COVID, the city council voted 6-1 in favor of closing the sou…

SILVER SPRING – Just days after Tastee Diner’s closure sent shockwaves through Montgomery County, the county council quickly responded with legislation setting aside 15% of new retail s…

ROCKVILLE, MD – In response to a growing teacher shortage caused by rising COVID cases, Montgomery County Public Schools (MCPS) announced today that all requests for substitute English teache…

TAKOMA PARK, MD – Upon hearing of the city’s proposed plan to increase property taxes, million-dollar homeowners demanding a highly progressive agenda paid for by increasing taxes on we…

SOUTH WOODSIDE PARK, MD – Residents of the city formerly known as T*koma Park were so horrified to learn recently that their town was built by a 19th century land developer that they decided …

TAKOMA PARK, MD – Defending himself from allegations that he sought to influence the State Highway Administration’s (SHA) review of the proposed development at Takoma Junction, Maryland Compt…

TAKOMA PARK, MD – After successfully making both kids and adults look like fools during his annual game of “Simon Says” at Takoma Park’s Play Day, Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-MD) d…

ROCKVILLE, MD – Buckling to pressure from wealthier single family homeowners, the Montgomery County Council voted 5-4 in favor of delaying the vote on Thrive 2050 to the year 2051. “We …

Hans Riemer is a candidate for Montgomery County Executive. From his website (www.hansriemer.com):“On the Council, Hans has stayed true to his values and his belief that we can have growth, a clean…

SILVER SPRING, MD – Standing before a large gathering at Silver Branch Brewery to kick off his campaign for Montgomery County Executive, County Councilman Hans Riemer pledged to have a beer w…

TAKOMA PARK – A loud outcry against the upcoming closing of Mark’s Kitchen has led the city council to pass a new law requiring owner Mark Choe to keep his restaurant open so that peopl…

ROCKVILLE, MD – As a counter proposal to Thrive Montgomery 2050, a proposed general plan to update the county’s land use and growth policies for the next 30 years, County Executive Marc…

GEORGETOWN – After DC’s Historic Preservaton Board ordered a Georgetown resident to remove statues of Transformers cartoon characters from the front of his historic house, the Teenage M…

TAKOMA PARK, MD – Plans to develop the parking lot at Takoma Junction were dealt a major blow on Wednesday when the city council reversed itself and announced it would oppose the proposed dev…

SILVER SPRING – According to Republican sources, a forensic search of Hunter Biden’s laptop has revealed thousands of classified messages from Hillary Clinton’s personal email ser…

WASHINGTON, DC – Recognizing customer frustration from the increasing number and frequency of recent unplanned service reductions, the Metro Board has decided to proactively announce the serv…

ANNAPOLIS, MD – After losing four straight times in an attempt to end Maryland’s extended federal unemployment benefits, a state judge ordered Governor Larry Hogan to refile any future …