BANHAMMER
@THEREALBANHAMME
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WARDEN OF BANLANDS - #PHIGHTING parody
BANLANDS
Joined January 2024
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TOOK THE COUSINS OUT TO FISH. BEEN A FEW YEARS BUT I HAVENT LOST MY SKILL !! WHO NEEDS A ROD WHEN YOURE FUCKING AWESOME !!! HAGAHHAHAHA
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YOU BARELYNFUCKING PATCH ME UP, LOCK ME IN YOUR DIRTY DINGY APARTMENT. AND DONT EVEN HAVE THE DECENCY TO LET ME SLEEP ON THE ONLY COMFORTABLE SURAFCE IN THE DAMN HOUSE, INSTEAD TELLING ME TO SLEEP ON THE FLOOR LIKE SOME SORT OF DOG!!
FUCK YOU DOCTOR!!!!!!! FUCK. YOU
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Cousins insisting on us “deer hunting”
there isn’t a single deer in crossroads.
We’ve been out here for hours
Please send help.
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HHAGAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAH AHAHAHHAGAH !!
TEAL FUCK HAS BEEN ROAMING FREE FOR FAR TOO LONG. WONT EVEN KNOW WHAT HIT EM HAHAHAGAHAHAHHAHAHAHA HAHAH! HA
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LOOK AT WHAT SHE MADE ME!!! MY VERY OWN JACKET!!!!!! 🧥
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LITTLE GUY CAME UP TO ME AND TOOK A NAP ON MY SHOULDER! MAYBE LOST TEMPLE AINT ALL THAT BAD!!! HAHAHAHA
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YOU BETTEE ALL ENJOY THE CONCERT!!! EYES ARE REAL FUCKING ITCHY!!!
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i do not know who you are or how you got him so angry but I hope youre happy
What a cute overgrown goldfish ya got there champ! reminds me of the time I wrangled this ‘ere beast off the cost of Crossroads, damn bastard tried ‘ter take my whole arm off with em but only got away with a finger! Quite brutal, not for the weaker gears among us!
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PPZZPPPKL KDPSPOPJPPJJZP PPPLPLLKKK99999@@@
‘
@@“””0000.99
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Mic; Live in Crossroads (ft. Banhammer)
Join Mic as she goes live to preform songs—both old and new to the demons of Crossroads! (featuring a special guest)
Tune in or show up - Sunday, May 26th
Buy your tickets below ↓
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ITS BEGINNING TO BORDER ON HUMILIATING HOW OFTEN I FIND MYSSLF WAKING UP IN THE DOCTORS HOUSE. WOULDVE WON THAT DAMNED FIGHT IF THAT BITCH DIDNT GET THE JUMP ON ME!!
CATS A PLUS THOUGH, A HUGE PLUS!!!!!
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TINY LITTLE DINER OPENED UP IN CROSSROADS! THEY MADE A BURGER IN MY IMAGE!!!! THE BANCONATOR!! 🍔🍔🍔
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HOPE YOU GUYS ARE HAPPY CUZ IM NOT!!!!! ALREADY SICK OF THEM!! THEY KEEP LICKING ME
.. I FORGOT THESE THINGS EXISTED
THEY SAID I “HAD” TO TAKE 2 OF THEM UNTIL THEY “CLEAR UP ROOM” IN THEIR STUPID FOSTER THINGY
I DONT WANT ANY OF THEM!! I RATHEE HAVE YOU LOT CHOOSE SO I DONT NEED TO INTERACT WIRH THEM ANYMORE THAN NESSICARY. NESSACAREY. Necessary .
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.. I FORGOT THESE THINGS EXISTED
THEY SAID I “HAD” TO TAKE 2 OF THEM UNTIL THEY “CLEAR UP ROOM” IN THEIR STUPID FOSTER THINGY
I DONT WANT ANY OF THEM!! I RATHEE HAVE YOU LOT CHOOSE SO I DONT NEED TO INTERACT WIRH THEM ANYMORE THAN NESSICARY. NESSACAREY. Necessary .
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IMMEVER LISTENING TO ANYOF YOU EVERAGAIH
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THINK I FIGURED IT OUT.
CAN ANYONE WITH KNOWLEDGE ON BIG LIZARDS TELL ME ! WHY MY LIZARD KEEPS BRINGING FOOD UNDER MY FURNITURE AND NOT FUCKING EATING IT!!!!!!!!!
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IF IM GOING TO WASTE MY DAY IN SOME STUFFY BORING MEETING ILL ATLEAST LOOK GOOD DOING IT HAHAHAHA !!!!
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If you see Ban Hammer, please convince him to give me back one of my items. He has stolen it for whatever cretinous reason.
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FAT CUNT!!!!! 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
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LOOKINGAROUND I CAN SAFELY SAY. I AM THE BEST DRESSED IN THIS PARTY!!!HAHAHA ! THE DRINKS ARE FREE
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TOO SMALL, LEGS MISSING, GENERALLY PATHETIC
SANCTURAY SAID I EITHER KEEP IT UNTIL THEY FIND A “SUITABLE FOSTER” OR GET IT PUT DOWN. WOULDVE CHOSE THR LATTER BUT DESTROYER IS FOND OF THE LITTLE PEST!!!
NOW IVE GOT TWO ANIMALS I DONT WANT IN MY HOUSE. FUCKING FANTASTIC
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THERE WERE ALOT OF PHOTOS THIS IS THE ONLY OJE TAHT WASNT IMPOSSIBLY BLURRY.
SEEMS LIKE ONE OF THOSE WEIRD LITTLE CREATURES RAN OFF WITH IT.
MYPHONE WAS STOLEN!!!FOUND IT THOUGH HAHAHAH!!
THOUGH IT WAS WET. EXTREMELY WET. SURPRISED IT ISNT BUSTED
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I THINK IT RIPPED IN THE BACK, DOESNT FIT ME AT ALL! I PREFER MY ARMOUR ANYWAYS
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AND JUST WHEN I WAS STARTING TO WARM UP TO THIS REGION.
BLOODS STILL FRESH, GOTTA CALL MY MEN TO INVESTIGATE!! WOMP WOMP
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CANT BELIEVE YOU LOT THOUGHT I WOULD LOSE TO SOME OVERGROWN LIZARD! I ALREADY DEAL WITH ONE AT HOME!!! HAHAGAHAHAHA
MOTHERFUCKER GOT ME GOOD THOUGH, DOES THIS LOOK INFECTED?
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DELETE
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DELETE . NOW
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BOSS TOLD ME TO STOP TAKING PICTURES OF MY EMPLOYEES. I TOLD HER TO FUCK OFF!! HAHAHAHA!
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.. DID YOU HAVE TO GO AND TELL EVERYBODY? ITS EMBARRASSING!!
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I DID NOT POST THIS
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DESTROYER IS A BEAST ANS A KILLER!! LOOK AT RHIS IMAGE. IMAGINE IF THAT WAS NOT MY HAND AND WAS INSTEAD A CIVILIANS HEAD!!
A COMMON DEMON COULD NEVER TAKE CARE OF HIM SO HE IS STAYING WITH ME UNTIL I FIND SOMEONE STRONG ENOUGH TO CARE FOR HIM
@THEREALBANHAMME
Thou should've found someone by now. Maybe SHOW civilians and other demons thy *pet.*
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TRIED MAKING MY OWN OUTFIT FOR THE PHESTIVAL AND THEY SAID IT “SHOWS TOO MUCH SKIN” AND ITS “UNSAFE” . I AM 46 YEARS OLD NOT SOME PUNY LITTLE PUNK!!!
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MOMMA SAID THE PARFAITS WERE WAY TOO SMALL. WE ARE BIG PEOPLE WE NEED BIG PORTIONS. PARFAIT MORE LIKE PATHETIC-FAITS, HA HA!!
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IM HOME. IM BUILDING AN ARMY. OF PLUSH TOYS OF ME!!!! THEY EVEN GAVE ME THEM FOR FREE
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I THINK ITS SAYING HI. HELLO LIZARd 🦎 . SHOULDNT BE HERE
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hopsital
FINALLY GONNA SHOW THAT TEAL ASSHOLE WHAT FOR , SHES FUCKED WITH ME FOR THE LAST TIME. M RECORDING IT TOO HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!
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HAPPYMOTHERS DAY TO THE BEAT DEITY IN ALL THE INPHINITY!!!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️LOVE YOU FOREVER MOMMA
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YOU LOT ARE WAY TOO COMFORTABLE DISRESPECTING SOMEONE WHO COULD EASILY ARREST YOU!! SHOW SOME DAMN RESPECT
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CREATURES TOO TINY TO SURVIVE OUTSIDE BY ITSELF. ITLL STAY WITH ME TONIGHT BUT AFTER THAT ITS ON ITS OWN
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SOME DUMBASS BLEW HALF OF THE STATIONS BUDGET ON UNIFORM. 😡WHY WOULD WE NEED 1000 FUCKING SHIRTS I ASKED FOR 10 . 10!!!!!
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STOP SAYING THIS. I WILL BLOCK.
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TRIED VENISON FOR THE FIRSF TIME LAST NIGHT. OVERRATED! I PREFER A NICE HOT JUICY STEAK!!!! 🥩
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WHYS THAT ANNOYING TEAL FUCK FRATERNIZING WITH MY MOMMA!! ILL FUCKING KILL HET
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HAHAHA DONT WORRY ITS SAFE. NOT SURE WHAT TO DO WITH IT THOUGH! KEEPIN IT WITH ME UNTIL THIS MATCH ENDS
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MYPHONE WAS STOLEN!!!FOUND IT THOUGH HAHAHAH!!
THOUGH IT WAS WET. EXTREMELY WET. SURPRISED IT ISNT BUSTED
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STILL SORE AND 2 OF MY WOUNDS OPENED BACK UP. YOU'D THINK SOMEONE WOULD BE COMPETENT AT THE ONLY THING THEYRE GOOD FOR BUT I GUESS NOT.
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DOCTOR IS SKIN AND BONES, DAMN NEAR A SKELETON!! IT IS MY DUTY AS A WARDEN TO ENSURE MY PRISONERS ARE WELL FED BEFORE THEIR. EVENTUAL. PURELY ACCIDENTAL DEATH!
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I LOOK FUCKING AWESOME IN A DRESS!! WHY DIDNT I THINK OF THIS SOONER HAHAHAHAHAGAH!
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IM SO TIRED OF IT! SHE TARGETS ME AND ONLY ME!!!! CANT EVEN GET A KILL IN CAUSE I KEEP GETTING GUNNED DOWN!! GUNNA HAVE A LONG TALK WITH VALK AFTER THE PHESTIVAL THERE IS NO REASON FOR A CRIMINAL TO BE IN HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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THOSE ANIMAL SACUNTORARY SANDTOURAIRY SAINTUARY S sanctuary ARE COMING TO PICK THE CRITTERS UP TOMORROW!!
CANT SAY ILL MISS THEM HAHAHAHA!
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IM FINALLY BACK TO MY LARGE! IMPOSING AND INTIMIDATING SIZE!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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NOT SURE HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS WHOLE. GREEN THING. IM SURE ITLL GROW ON ME HAHAH!
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DONT SEE HOW ME HAVING AN AWESOME FUCKING STATUE MAKES ME A "LOSER."
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STOP DRAWING ME WITH THE DOCTOR!! STOP WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
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BEEN OPENING MY FRIDGE TO MY FOOD HAVING BITES TAKEN OUT OF THEM! IS SLEEPEATING A THING ???
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FINALLY GONNA SHOW THAT TEAL ASSHOLE WHAT FOR , SHES FUCKED WITH ME FOR THE LAST TIME. M RECORDING IT TOO HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!
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IM NAMING IT DESTROYER. NOT BECAUSE IM KEEPING IT BUT BECAUSE ITLL BE EASIER TO TALK ABOUT IT
HAHAHA DONT WORRY ITS SAFE. NOT SURE WHAT TO DO WITH IT THOUGH! KEEPIN IT WITH ME UNTIL THIS MATCH ENDS
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BEEN HEARING REPORTS OF SOME FREAKY INVASIVE CRITTERS RUNNING AROUND IN CROSSROADS! GONNA TAKE THE COUSINS WITH ME TO HELP .. “RELOCATE” EM. HAHAHAHA!
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CONCERTS TODAY! BE THERE OR BE A FUCKING LOSER!!! HAHAHAGA
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CAN ANYONE WITH KNOWLEDGE ON BIG LIZARDS TELL ME ! WHY MY LIZARD KEEPS BRINGING FOOD UNDER MY FURNITURE AND NOT FUCKING EATING IT!!!!!!!!!
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I HATE THE STUPID PESTS FROM PLAYGROUND! THEY ALWAYS RUN AWAY AFTER PICKING A FIGHT WITH ME, FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED BASTARDS!!
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LITTLE BLUE PUNK NEEDS TO STOP TARGETTING FORE I TELL HIS POPS ABOUT HIS LITTLE SIDE GIG! PISSING ME THE FUCK OFF
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CALLED IN TO HANDLE A BUNCH OF . “BEANS” ITS 10AM ON A FRIDAY!!!! WHATEVER
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FUCK
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BLACKROCK ISTHE WORSE REGION BY. FAR. IT IS SO COLD! MY TEETH ARE CHITTERING SOMUCH FEELS LIKE THEYRE ABOUT TO SHATTER!!!!
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EVERYTIME I HAVE TO PATROL THIS HOTASS FUCKASS REGION I WONDER WHY IT HASNT COLLAPSEDIN ON ITSELF YET!!!
JUST FULL OF CRIMINALS AND EGOTISTICAL BASTARDS. GUESS BLACKROCKS NO BETTER HAHAH! AT LEAST IT ISNT FREEZING!
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EVERYONE IN THIS REPLY SECTION IS GETTING ARRESTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHOW SOME DAMN RESPECT IM THE ONE KEEPING FREAKS LIKE HER FROM CAUSING HAVOC!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Forming an official Banhammer Hate Club (BHC), who wants in?
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