Today I honor 14 YEARS OF SOBRIETY! 🙏🏼🤩 I hardly recognize the woman in the photo on the left. I was so bloated from alcohol and I had my breast implants then ( obvi ). I feel so much lighter. I could go into a super long story about my life and how I “became” an alcoholic but I’m saving all that for when I write my book one day. Most of you know the jest of it anyway. You’ve heard bits and pieces in my post. For those of you that are new to my journey: I was an alcoholic. I was scared, lost, unhappy, unsure, hopeless, in pain, paralyzed by fear and I tried to numb it all with alcohol. I loved cocaine too but alcohol was what took me to my knees. When I say that, I mean one night, at the end, IT LITERALLY TOOK ME TO MY KNEES. IN PRAYER.🧎🏼‍♀️ I knelt on the floor and put my elbows on the ottoman and I prayed like I’ve never prayer before. “God please help me! God please help me! God please help me! God please help me! God please help me! God please help me! God please help me! ........ Over. And over. And over. And over. I must’ve prayed that prayer 200 times that evening. I prayed for so long, my seven year old daughter kneeled beside me, crossed her hands🙏🏼 and said this: “Dear God, please help. Help us find which way so we don’t get lost.” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔 I’m not kidding. Seven years old and those words came from her precious little heart and mouth. I never knew I could hurt so deeply, be so proud and feel as much guilt as I did in that exact moment. It was right then, because of her, I decided I was going to ask for help. And I did. I called my mother the next day. I told her of my dirty little secret. I told her I couldn’t stop drinking. I literally could not! It felt like it had me in a death grip!!😔 When I say death grip, I mean that with every cell of my being. I KNEW in my heart I was close to death, and that was confirmed two days later at the hospital. I kept waking up with my left arm tingling and numb. I also had what felt like electricity that would randomly cascade down the fronts of my shins. The last few weeks, I would make myself eat a cracker just so I could drink more vodka.🥺I could no longer eat. It was really bad. It feels hard to share that but I know someone reading this will relate and this message may help them. I was a hot mess and I was sick EVERY SINGLE MORNING. My daughter would help take care of me as I dry heaved in the toilet. It’s so hard to admit that and I have a huge knot in my throat right now so I’m going to allow the tears to flow now as the last bits of guilt come to the surface to clear. I feel like that’s the hardest part of addiction....the guilt and shame. Clearing that now. Finally. After ten years. I feel it’s completing it’s healing.🥲 Maybe it will never go away; just soften. I’m ok with that. The healing, sober, awakened soul in me knows that it’s all perfect and that my daughter chose me to help learn her life’s lessons. I know her wounding will become her strength and wisdom to share with others so in the big picture, I’m serving the whole in the long run, but when you love someone as much as I love my sweet angelface, it’s comes up here and there. Like now. I honor these tears as they clear what no longer serves me so I can better serve others at this time. Life has a special way of always working out. When we have courage to heal, ask for help and we look back...it so easy to see the perfection and gifts in it all. Mine is a story of healing and hope for those open to received the gifts from my rise from the ashes. I never would’ve thought my life would take me from rehab and a half-way home, to ten years later holding others while they heal their own pain, traumas & fears but that’s exactly what has happened. I chose this. All of it. I’m more than honored, I’m humbled by it all. Humbled in a way one can not explain. It can only be felt. 🧵👇🏼

@LarryTaunton Wow. Nice.

@ericmetaxas Amen!

@TheCensoredRock What?????

@TheCensoredRock

@TheCensoredRock

@TheCensoredRock What did I just find. This is disturbing on many levels, especially since it sounds like a child singing it.

@TheCensoredRock

@FLRMOONdotxyz Same

@elonmusk Please return our money Elon

Oh man. I hate to know this. Let’s pray now for Gods grace to cover you. He is so good and I know he’s watching over you. If you get in a bind and start running out of money and need food, message me. Don’t be afraid to ask. I can afford to do that. Ok? I’ll go sell a silver coin if I need to. We all need help sometimes. God bless you.

I’m so proud of you, Bob! And I’m so sorry that you’re living in your vehicle. I can only imagine how hard that is. But if you’re in Florida, I know that the weather is gonna be easier in that circumstance. I know that your future will be better and if I didn’t invest all my money in crypto and dinar, I would be so happy to share some abundance with you. It would make my heart happy to do that. I just moved from Florida to Georgia so that’s another reason I have less than I normally do. A lot less, but I’m trusting God as well and I know he’s gonna take care of us. Do you ever go to church? Maybe you can find a local church and maybe some of the church members will help you and you can also deepen your relationship with God. What part of Florida are you in? I might be coming back down there in a few weeks to do healing ceremonies.

@RealThomSieloff I tried to tag you in the post itself, but you don’t allow that

@FLRMOONdotxyz @ajsallen Pleasure. You’ll understand it better than me anyway! I got the basics and it seems really hopeful!

@LeonaCollier9 @Ross_ptm @majeed66224499 @Prolotario1 I also just went to his page and he post a lot of different types of things. If you stop being mean and commenting on his dinar post, you will stop seeing them. Maybe it’s an algorithm thing.😅

@LeonaCollier9 @Ross_ptm @majeed66224499 @Prolotario1 I just went to block you but I already have. I must’ve seen another rude comment of yours because that’s the only time I blocked somebody. I guess this is a pattern for you.

@DogmaticPatriot @Prolotario1 @snwse21 @majeed66224499 Why don’t you take a look at @ajsallen and @FLRMOONdotxyz they only post facts. Not BS or guessing or making ppl think it’s happening every day. No roller coasters. Just info and they explain a lot. It’s educational and chill. A nice tribe. Join us!😉

@FLRMOONdotxyz @Mouse140 @beans_and27591 @RedMGthaOG Just tagged you in a great article!

@USA454647911 @Breaking911 Thank you