Jeff Asbestos
@SimplyMerv_
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🇨🇩. she/her/dat girl pronouns. This is a R. Kelly hate account. views are my own because no one has this much taste. @readtheroompod . 🐝 August 25th, 2021 💔
Joined July 2010
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It’s clear the “sit your ass down” through clenched teeth is a universal mom thing
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I’m 27. I just tried to imagine myself with 9 kids right now and I almost had a stroke.
9 kids by the time you’re 28?! Jaysus😭
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Between the “double homicide” and the oversharing....I expect nothing less from a Joséline Hernandez production.
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I’m BEGGING my sisters to leave colored contacts alone :(
Tessica Brown, the woman who went viral for using Gorilla Glue on her hair, launches a new haircare line.
Details:
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When a nigga tells me he would get me pregnant, I consider that a threat.
Therefore, electric chair.
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Me thinking about the fact that my friends have never thrown me a surprise bday party
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Sallie Mae: *6 months after graduation* We're gonna need you to pay us back
Me: *Enrolls in grad school*
Me:
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My primary care Doctor when he sends me to a specialist:
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One thing about a bag? It’s gonna find its way to Megan!
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Kamala Harris: “Google Covid testing sites”
The testing sites in question:
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When Val basically said they believed Anna was from a wealthy family because she was ugly…
#InventingAnna
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After talking to Rob and Kaelin, Jaylynn doesn’t want to get engaged/married to his long term gf because he doesn’t want to feel pressured. But he’s the same man trying to pressure her into having a baby (after a traumatic abortion) with no commitment
#SweetLifeLA
#SweetLifeOnMax
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I’ve noticed Black Housewives franchises always play into the whole Black women unity, elitist takes when someone fights. Ex: Porsha & Monique + Candaice. But the whole season they be arguing all in public, calling each other names, got mug shots. But fighting is too much?
#rhop
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A first time mother saying this in a roomful of seasoned mothers…one thing Phaedra had was the audacity lmao
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Summer is who the group made Mariah out to be. Not once did they have a meeting to kick her out. Mariah deserves a public apology.
#summerhousemv
#summerhousemvreunion
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These stores talkin bout 30% of your entire purchase....for Black Friday??
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Pink & green is an elite outfit color combo and I’m not saying that cause I’m the skeewee girls. It just looks really good.
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Come on bend and SNAP. Period pooh, the girls in the jungle not seeing you at all!
I’ve never wondered how a Giraffe eats grass before, but this is majestic!
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@Fosters_mom_14
@Phil_Lewis_
No, the “Black ladies” shouldn’t and will not; her white mama should’ve taught her better. They don’t need to teach her a single thing but the difference between a left and right hook for being a racist and attacking a 14 year old.
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"Where you from?"
"Champaign"
"Huh?"
"It's in Illinois"
"Oh Chicago!"
"No, it's 2 hrs away"
"Oh the suburbs?"
"Get away from me"
"Where you from?"
"NY"
"The city?"
"No, hopewell"
"What"
"Near beacon/Newburgh"
"What"
"Hour and a half from manhattan"
"Ohh ok"
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At this point, if you make it out of 2020 that’s a blessing in itself. This is a heavy ass year man oh man.
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Megan is the definition of blessed & highly favored. Glad the midget and snake were removed from her life.
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I love when she steps out with her real husband ❤️
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@YungYinkv
Had her on the internet asking other "fashion girls" (re: wags) how they afford designer. I was disgusteddd.
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Solange wrong as hell for pronouncing his name like that lmao
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Zahara Jolie becoming an AKA is the content I needed today. Angelina Jolie is a goood woman, raised her right 🫡.
OK THEN NUMBA!!
I know Angelina had Zahara's dorm room laced.... I just know it. I know she found every licensed vendor and got all kinds of custom para.
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What part of “Fuck 12” don’t y’all understand? That means no dancing with, kneeling with, or hugging them.
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No she ATE cause y’all do not be raising y’all sons at all and the rest of us gotta deal with it.
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Grown men will ask you to “educate them” just so they can refute every point you make. They don’t want to learn, they want to argue.
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Me at the airport with my free “carry on” luggage
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And he’s correct….
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@TheBaddestMitch
The only problem, and I say this lovingly, is that he’s 4’9” and shaped like a girl. Otherwise, yes you can say something.
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And do!! 8 negroes walked so I could run. Love them down!
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Not girlfriend, not wife but “BM”…
Hmmmm. Okay.
every b* that get in that car bout to have a bad day now 😘
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Me: *Ignores the guy trying to pursue me*
Guy: *moves on and finds someone else*
Me:
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The Louis CK bill board + the sarcasm in this message was brilliant 😂
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“just a spiritual gangster serving a life sentence in a human body.” Let me know when the documentary comes out on how he ruined his career.
Insiders worried about actor Daniel Kaluuya's ties to 'life strategist'
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Between the drinks and the picture of Shemar Moore, the spirit of Nicky Parker is alive and well.
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If this is a club, it’s extremely corny to stroll in the club chile.
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People think giving American residents $2000/month during a pandemic is too radical but didn’t blink an eye when reports came out that American Billionaires got 400 BILLION DOLLARS RICHER DURING A PANDEMIC.
Capitalism is one helluva drug.
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Me tweeting my thoughts regardless if people interact with them or not cause I got something to say...
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‘Crank Dat’ created the most effective marketing campaign I’ve ever seen. And this was BEFORE streaming. Whew.
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“Ho why is you here?” Haha welcome to McDonalds can I interest you in the Joseline Hernandez aka the Puerto Rican Princess meal?
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Mom: text me your account number so I can deposit some money
Me:
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Nothing will ever beat the River North / Cabrini Green gentrificati on. Fully loaded high rises looking down on boarded up homes. Smh
Wanna see what gentrification looks like? Just go to the West side of charlotte lmao
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One thing about Bey? She’s gonna support the girls directly whether it be some flowers, a text, etc. she’s always there! Love her for that!
Meghan Markle reacts to Beyoncé texting her on her new documentary. She will ALWAYS be the celebrity to celebrities.
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This is literally me at any given moment without any warning and I literally can not control it :( :( :(
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@Ready2Bfr33
@luvleemelodie
She wanna be Mia? The same Mia jumping from rental to rental? Let’s be serious just for 2 seconds.
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Mind you onika rhymed “Megan’s law” with “fuck Megan raw” if anybody needs to be sued…
No LAWSUIT can be filed against Megan Thee Stallion for referencing a FEDERAL LAW in her rap song.
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I know she’s happy as hell to not be under the crown bored as hell and mistreated.
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Sis, you ain’t see me in front of the court house protesting? This was me & the dolls.
I said I had court today & none of y’all checked in to make sure a bitch was straight that’s crazy... how you know they ain’t throw me in the chokey?
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It's 2017, how can you....as a grown ass man....not tag your fine friends in your group picture
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She allegedly bought Cardi a Patek. Retail price of a Patek: $21000 on the cheap end. So if she got it like that, she can pay her worker a livable wage.
Everyone speaking on this assistant thing but don’t understand the role. Talking about some $80K. Artists are not large corporations. They are essentially small businesses.
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Girl in the green here. For the record, I was not ready to risk it all. I was the one that asked him why he be doing that to the salmon lmao don't play with me! Also we're not alfredo warriors, we just wanted brunch...he added this on his own! 😂
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No cause my sista felt that shit from the bottom of her heart 😭😭😭
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Eat a snickers Nicole, you get a little racist when you're hungry 🙂
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4 interviews later and yo girl got a promotion. Nothing but God man. 😩
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I tweet for colored girls who wrap their hair at night no matter how tired they are.
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Meanwhile these are what Asian TV networks broadcast… you could’ve ate that but unfortunately your plate was left untouched.
imagine taking a jab at a 90s show for lacking diversity but your own show doesn't have any asian people
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1. Fuck I’m late for work again
2. I’m on time if I beat my manager to the office
3. I’m a bad bitch you can’t kill me (an ode to my depression)
4. You eatin again?
5. Mental breakdowns are breakfast for champs
6. My type? Emotionally unavailable men
7. You gotta do better
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When Blue Ivy Carter said “I ain’t never seen a ceiling in my whole life,” she was giving us a look into the future where black children & women aren’t held back by any glass ceilings and the future is still something to look forward to. In this essay I will...
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Me thinking about that joke I told in 2007 that catapulted my comedic career
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The words I have to say to the people that caused my sister Megan soooo much pain……oououuuouuuu 🤬
#Cobra
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Mind you Beyoncé said nothing. I love Kelis but she was coming at Beyoncé crazy calling her satan and whatever else.
A simple I don’t like Beyoncé would suffice but making it seem like Kelis wasn’t mean spirited to B when her problem is with Pharrell is revisionist as hell.
I don’t like the mean-spirited protection of Beyoncé and the willingness to dispose of people who challenge her. Some of y’all are the reason why bell hooks died with a broken heart. Tasty was and will be on repeat at my house. Kelis is not disposable.
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White women will always disappoint when it comes to the advancement of women as a whole.
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