Kattoo King
@SimplyKattoo
Followers
416
Following
238
Media
763
Statuses
3,099
Comedienne, fashion designer, podcastress (One Pod, Spring Break 1985)
Brooklyn, NY
Joined January 2015
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
نيوكاسل
• 195791 Tweets
#ItalianGP
• 128064 Tweets
#TheTraineeSeriesEP10
• 115965 Tweets
#光る君へ
• 103743 Tweets
India Will Become A Vishwaguru
• 89451 Tweets
BIGBANG
• 84791 Tweets
Oscar
• 75340 Tweets
TLP HAIRPIN OF LOVE
• 66652 Tweets
Leclerc
• 64780 Tweets
Lando
• 58178 Tweets
Norris
• 57903 Tweets
#ปิ่นภักดิ์EP5
• 57109 Tweets
McLaren
• 53889 Tweets
Ferrari
• 53519 Tweets
#ブラックペアン
• 52286 Tweets
Piastri
• 30542 Tweets
プロジェクトKV
• 29790 Tweets
ブルアカ
• 26617 Tweets
Sainz
• 26475 Tweets
Newcastle
• 25789 Tweets
台風11号
• 22942 Tweets
DAOU IN PATTAYA
• 17846 Tweets
渡海先生
• 16521 Tweets
ابو خالد
• 16349 Tweets
ランニングホームラン
• 14283 Tweets
コールド
• 13403 Tweets
天城先生
• 13224 Tweets
wrwrd
• 12431 Tweets
イナイレ
• 11303 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
Me as a priest: It be like that sometimes
Congregation: and like that it be
1
2
27
@Parakite4
@dieworkwear
I actually agree with you, this outfit makes sense for Jordan Peterson. The various fabrics, textures, and details are pulled from a variety of traditional western influences that make no sense together, much like his philosophy.
11
18
855
Being raised Catholic made me a little weird about sex, but extremely weird about wasting food
3
45
432
They're the Amy Poehler and Rachel McAdams of men
kinda funny how brian cox and alan ruck only have 11 years between them
6
25
1K
1
16
321
Reasons why I'm single
2
6
286
@showmetheyamz
Idk if you're looking for a real answer, but it was a deliberate choice by the showrunners who wanted to focus on friendship/chosen family. Is it a choice I would have made? No. But it was a deliberate choice
1
4
227
Life is just a never ending series of things that take like 15 minutes to do
1
17
218
@alphalicent
I get the point you're trying to make, but it's because Olivia Cooke is like 2 years older than Tom, and it's actually insane mother-son casting
3
0
190
The 28 tabs currently open on my phone:
Gaddafi image search
"how to heal an avoidant attachment style"
A website where they sell jellyfish tanks
And 25 menus from restaurants I went to that make you use a QR code
0
5
130
Here's what this specific hat means on guys of different ages.
Teens-20s: says some disturbing things he heard on Reddit
30s-40s: whether he's poly, or getting cheated on, his wife is absolutely sleeping with someone else
50+: normal
(All of them are balding)
2
16
124
Inventing names for the generations was such a bad idea bc what do you mean you can't find solidarity with women 10-20 years older than you??????
@XDOHXO
millennial women had no concept of boundaries or critical thinking 😭. they’re lowkey traumatized by the “sex positivity” movement. they were bamboozled by the patriarchy and don’t know how to cope and just resort to criticizing women for not making the same choices as them.
110
41
752
0
7
87
Do you guys think if I started dating someone now we could be the Amtrak manga couple for Halloween?
Making your LDR work, one train ride at a time. 💓 Part 2 of our Amtrak love story! 🧵
11
61
359
1
8
69
@meanunclejack
This is, without a trace of irony, what every friendship between 2 Middle Eastern men sounds like
0
0
56
@yosoymichael
Ok hear me out, I feel like if they swapped the boot out for a heel, or even just a cooler boot, this look would be fine
1
0
41
I decided I'm going to start posting pictures of myself during important and life changing moments. Anyway, this is me reading the armie hammer dms on Sunday
0
0
34
@CartoonsHateHer
This is just because pictures weren't as high resolution back in the day, and also film photography just looks better than digital, so there was a mild blurring effect on the skin in photos. (If you read diaries from the 50s-60s teens constantly complain about acne)
2
0
24
I think it's a good thing that George RR Martin is having a good time with his wife, taking time to rest, and generally enjoying his life
George R. R. Martin shares his outfit for watching ‘BARBIE’.
“I went to see Barbie with my lovely wife; she said pink is my color.
#ImKenough
”
261
5K
88K
0
4
22
For some of us, it's not a phase
Any comics got photos of you in the “cardigan” phase?? This is fun
9
1
29
1
0
19
People are saying a lot of insane things about Chappell Roan when what they really mean is "she clearly grew up working class"
mom come pick me up they’re doing chappell roan phrenology on tiktok
21
993
47K
0
0
18
These two actually have great chemistry and it's one of the best cast couples of the last decade. They're the Malcom in the Middle parents of high fantasy
Eve Best and
@StevieToussaint
attempt to rate the ‘HOUSE OF THE DRAGON’ characters
“Daemon? PUT HIM DOWN.”
14
221
3K
1
1
16
My Instagram was hacked so unfortunately I'm going to have to post my outfits on here
16
0
8
There are challengers everywhere for those with the eyes to see
anyways here's Emma, their partner Thomas and Liv living their best lives on vacation together 🥰
7
65
2K
0
1
15
Killers of the Flower Moon is about how your dumbass golden retriever boyfriend is actually capable of incredible evil
0
1
11
Nathan's hot dog eating contest currently on hold bc of lightning, currently in the bar with everyone else who got rained out, people are singing Sweet Caroline, please send thoughts and prayers
4
0
12
It's very important to keep in mind that Baz Luhrmann's wife designs the costumes for his movies. To some people, marriage is about linking up to maximize their joint slay, and I think that's so special.
GUYS i need u to watch this video of some tiktokker interviewing Baz Luhrmann on the streets of newtown and not knowing who he is 😩😩😩
405
3K
35K
0
0
12
In case anyone is wondering, the line for the women's room at Super Mario World is significantly shorter than the men's room line.
1
0
12
This is a woman from North Carolina who has a really weird frenemy style relationship with her little from tri-delt
French upper class gf: wears tailored Chanel suits, dines at Michelin-starred restaurants, secretly votes for Marine Le Pen
1K
1K
27K
1
1
12
The feminist backlash to this photoshoot was so major that it made internet feminist Anita Sarkeesian popular, which eventually lead to her getting funding for her series about women in video games. So basically this photoshoot caused gamergate
1
3
10
This look is not getting enough attention, I actually think it's one of the best menswear looks of last night
0
0
11
The first celebrity to come to Brasil as a thret
Lana Del Rey has overthrown the governments of Brazil and Mexico
54
98
913
0
1
11
Shout out to all the Zelensky simps. Y'all finally figured out how to combine the embarrassment of being horny for a comic why the absolute humiliation of being horny for a politician.
1
1
11
I am so proud to announce that someone called me a PAWG on TikTok
0
0
10
The way some of y'all talked about the sex scenes in Oppenheimer, I walked into that theater fully prepared to see Cillian Murphys cock and balls. And I was severely disappointed. Film Twitter is full of prudes lmao
2
0
8
Charcuterie is adult lunchables
Espresso martinis are just adult 4loco
And I'm just trying to get through this week
0
2
9
I am legally not allowed to say anything about the Matty Healy/Taylor Swift drama bc I have also done the things Matty is accused of (going on podcasts, buying podcast merch, ect)
0
2
9
I'm single and dating, which is a lot like being poly except I don't have to play board games
0
2
9
Spent this weekend pregaming the barbie/Oppenheimer release weekend
0
0
9
Everytime I log on it's always "normalize this" and "normalize that" when are we gonna wierdize some shit
0
4
8
I can zoom into a family photo too
Getting abused and told the internet has “fried” my brain simply for thinking that a billionaire deserves better than this… Twitter is hilarious
490
25
1K
1
0
8
It's been a day and I'm still thinking about this doozy of a thread.
The context that this whole thing about OP being upset people aren't honest about each other's looks, and her bf offering up "objective analysis" makes it worse to me. There are no objective eyes in this world
one of my partners once was like 'you're not that pretty' during a tender moment
i rolled over in the fetal position and groaned for like an hour, and then he went and made me an im sorry card out of construction paper and markers and stickers
725
337
8K
1
1
9
We'll never have a Derek Guy for women because women's fashion is much more vibes based than men's fashion. So a woman's clothing expert can't destroy a poorly dressed woman by pointing out specific ways clothes fit wrong, in a way that feels satisfying for the average X user
"is there a woman version of you?"
me, looking far off into the distance: "i don't know" *head hangs low* "I don't know"
247
884
31K
1
0
9
@steviesmother
I don't agree with this woman, but her tone can be explained by how genuinely braindead most TikTok commenters are
0
1
9
Anime avi guys posting about Caesar is crazy, next we're going to see marble bust avi guys posting about Naruto
1
1
9
Trying to beat the deadbeat allegations while wearing a Bitcoin shirt is hilarious
I wake up at 6 a.m. to find that my daughter has posted a TikTok video trashing me.
She's a big social media influencer with millions of followers. Here it is . . .
3K
5K
48K
5
0
9
My tattoo represents a very important time in my life when I was 19 and had 300 extra dollars.
0
1
8
S E C R E T T U N N E L !!!!!
0
0
8
In honor of the upcoming Avatar episodes of One Pod, I want to share this old pic of me and Dante Basco, the voice of Zuko. When I posted this on Facebook, my aunts called my mother to ask about my "new boyfriend."
0
0
8
Sitting at this open mic full of acoustic guitar guys, knowing I'm going to fuck up the vibe with my stand up comedy. It really makes me understand what Oppenheimer was saying with his whole "I am death the destroyer of worlds" thing
1
0
8
Look, Domino's is so good when you don't have a bitch in your ear telling you it sucks
I feel so bad for women and democrats, they never get to know how good this feels
4K
3K
52K
0
0
7
I spend 4 years (and a bunch of money) studying fashion design so that I would have the credentials to make fun of people's outfits online
0
0
7
@JoyceCarolOates
The oldest European mummy, and oldest Egyptian mummy both had tattoos, but neither were found with vapes
1
0
7
The problem with the original flounder is that he looked too friendly and it made kids feel bad about eating fish. This is no longer a problem.
0
0
8
I went to a less prestigious fashion school, and it still had a 50% drop out rate. Out of those who graduated about 1/3 are working as fashion designers 1/3 are working in other fashion jobs or as other types of designers, and 1/3 left the field completely.
everyone I know that went to FIT ended up moving back home cause they couldn't handle the fact that their individuality complex didn't get them a career and they aren't as unique as they thought
148
1K
50K
2
3
8
2 queens linking up to maximize their joint slay
0
1
8
I'm so glad I have a girl job so I can dress up for
#OPLA
day and get complimented instead of sent to HR
1
0
7
Do any other beautiful and petite women get compared to Larry David on Hinge a lot or just me?
1
0
4
They didn't? Check your local adult soccer league
why did they discontinue this genre of woman in like 1990 they're the best
152
206
7K
0
0
3
@moob550
With all respect, his hair looks great and it reminds me of one of the most iconic looks from cinematic history
0
0
6
Y'all think this has anything to do with how many people smoke weed these days?
0
1
7
Kendall Roy has all the qualities of a great Roman senator, family money, great at making speeches, and willing to kill himself after a major failure
0
0
7
I'm kind of like the Ralph Nader of women (Lebanese and hates cars)
1
1
7
I will probably finish my Nico Robin inspired fit at one point. But for now, here's the top.
1
0
7
Big news everyone: I have another pic of an anime girl pointing a gun
0
0
7
I have a condition called "peasant mouth" where, no matter how delicious the meal, I will not feel satisfied unless I eat some kind of basic carb.
1
0
7
And he still can!
The man could have had a Bravo Empire
0
0
9
0
1
7
"damn you're a stand up that sucks the scene is soooo misogynistic" -Punk dude that's been in 3 bands that broke up after one of the guys was caught hooking up with a minor
1
0
6
Whats a good place to wear a 1950s cocktail dress in NYC? (I'm dead serious, I already bought the dress)
0
0
7
At the met, convincing myself I have "Byzantine era physiognomy"
0
0
7
RIP Megan Draper, you would have loved The Cut's age gap article
0
0
7
I was doing stand up last night and the venue had this collage on the wall. I thought "wow it's cool how mainstream nerd culture has become" until I remembered that stand up comedy is also, fundamentally, dork shit.
0
0
7
The fact that the Whoopie cancellation and the Rogan cancelation happened the same week proves that the Joe Rogan experience is just the view for men
0
0
7
I walked into the kareoke bar and the bartender immediately asked if I'd done something different with my hair. I need to make some major life changes and start living my life in a way where I am not recognized at kareoke.
1
0
7
There is no way that Quinton Reviews has more to say about Sam & Cat than Jeanette McCurdy does about her entire acting career
2
1
6
