Mario Speedwagon
@SilipigniMario
Followers
21,455
Following
11,666
Media
27,792
Statuses
503,134
Beer monger. Sorcerer. Ostrobogulous. Flirty. Best described as a trashbag filled with mango pulp. #FidgetSays @NationalDazeTag @BrainBlondies @kickasspopups
The PGH (Pittsburgh, Pa.)
Joined February 2014
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Pinned Tweet
I know times are tough. Maybe worse for you than the next person. I just want you to know- Mario is here for you. Via proxy.
#LiftUpATweep
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@anticommie32
The original is a brilliant satire, and about as woke as is possible.
I'm hoping you already knew that. 😬
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A birth certificate, driver's license, passport, and credit cards for some guy named "David Dennison."
#FoundatMaralago
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Trump is EASILY the worst president ever, and his ardent supporters are clueless morons, or outright bad people.
#UnleashTheTwitterTrolls
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Tonight, I lost my beautiful, sweet Amy... I'm at a loss. She lived a long life, and I'll love her always. ❤😞
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@jrgaillot
@mens_sana__
The leadership in Haiti is likely much more advanced/intelligent than ours in the USA.
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Needing new clothes because everyone in the house has already seen everything you own.
#RichFolkLockdownProblems
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I wish I could play this # game, but I'm kinda busy going through this box full of notebooks from high school.
#DeepThoughtsFromHoarders
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Not knowing what is part of the USA, or even where they're located, or who is in charge there.
#StupidThingsTrumpHasDone
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In all seriousness, I want to applaud you for your "space force" concept. I have high hopes that they'll explore Uranus and find your head. 👍
@realDonaldTrump
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#TheresNothingMoreSexierThan
someone that makes you forget how gorgeous they are on the outside, because of how beautiful they are inside.
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Have Boys II Men sing her the breakup. They make everything sound better.
#NiceWaysToDumpSomeone
@danniestagteam
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His name, spelled backward, is "nole," and everyone knows that NOLE is an acronym for "no one lays Elon." Poor fella.
#ElonsProblems
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News Flash- left isn't right. Right isn't right. Doing what is good and what should be done for EVERYONE, is right. It can happen! 🙏
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#WhenABlackCatCrossesMyPath
I count my blessings. Black cats are great!
Kiwi, and his "reaaaalllly, poppa??" look...
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@KaylaChowShow
@Kica333
How would that ruin it?
It would allow me, *ahem*- your date, to offer to put it back in.
Lemons from lemonade and whatnot.
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Why don't more people talk about how Columbus was actually the first person to walk on the moon?
#StupidQuestionsForQAnon
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#MyExcuseForTypos
is that I came home to find my beautiful 20 yr old cat had passed away while I was working. I can't see what I'm typing through my tears...
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I woke up today to find that my beloved little boy Kiwi passed away overnight. He was only 9. I just don't understand how he can possibly be gone. I'm sure he's in a happy place where he has salmon all the time & no pesky kittens trying to love him by playing with his tail. ❤️😔
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🎶
#InTheYearIWasBorn
,
there was a man who sailed to sea And he told us of his life
In the land of submarines
So we sailed up to the sun
'Til we found a sea of green
And we lived beneath the waves
In our yellow submarine...🎶
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I'm prepared for
#WhenMomCalls
. I have a list next to the phone of my recent achievements and talking points. Some of them are even real!
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@eriecountydems
@GrabberGrabber
@TnxRodgers
@FPWellman
@laurenboebert
@mtgreenee
Hey- that's 2 more toes than the one brain cell they share.
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My birthday carrot cake from Mitchell's Fish Market! So darn good...😍😊👍
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Picking a pumpkin because you think he's a better option than Hillary...
#HowNotToPickAPumpkin
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@realDonaldTrump
YOU had to be told to put your hand on your heart for the anthem, you moron!
Stop trying to enforce your idiocy on people standing up for (or kneeling for) their rights!
You have inspired me to kneel for the anthem, btw. (Because we deserve better than you, to be clear.)
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Check it out, haters- pineapple on a delicious pizza! 😋😂😂
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@dennisdiclaudio
@TomiLahren
Well, to be fair, even for Donnie himself she's more like a second, third, or even fourth lady.
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My race is "human"... Skin color has nothing to do with that.
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Breaking the glass ceiling sounds good at first, but imagine all the cleaning up you'll have to do afterward!
#MansplainWomenProblems
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My friend said something I liked when I told him the news of Betty White. He said "maybe this was her final gift to us, so as not to ruin 2022."
That does sound like her style. ❤️
#RIPBetty
#ThankYouForBeingAFriend
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1. Extricate head from own ass.
2. Have a subordinate find out what "extricate" means.
#OnTrumpsToDoList
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@MJMcKean
I'm so sad to hear of this loss for everyone. I'm sure you have amazing memories to cherish always. I've always enjoyed this pic of you guys together. Not "flattering," but a great image. All the best to you, and the death of his friends and family. 😞❤🙏
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@C4NCERGIRL
@sapioslut
I'm doing research on the subject, just to stay ready for some random opportunity.
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Query- will Morgan Freeman narrate his own courtroom footage? 😕
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Being a ridiculous asshole for your entire life
#IsAMajorRedFlag
that is unlikely to go away when given a YUGE promotion.
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@itsmargmaria
@Mikel_Jollett
Not just women- anyone with a functioning brain should feel that way.
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