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Mario Speedwagon Profile
Mario Speedwagon

@SilipigniMario

Followers
21,455
Following
11,666
Media
27,792
Statuses
503,134

Beer monger. Sorcerer. Ostrobogulous. Flirty. Best described as a trashbag filled with mango pulp. #FidgetSays @NationalDazeTag @BrainBlondies @kickasspopups

The PGH (Pittsburgh, Pa.)
Joined February 2014
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
4 years
I know times are tough. Maybe worse for you than the next person. I just want you to know- Mario is here for you. Via proxy. #LiftUpATweep
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
The same things that SHOULD trigger everyone. #WhatTriggersLiberals
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
1 year
@anticommie32 The original is a brilliant satire, and about as woke as is possible. I'm hoping you already knew that. 😬
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
Mainly because why the hell would I?!? #WhyImNotVotingForTrump
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
Tell him he can't share a prison cell with daddy. #TriggerDonaldTrumpJr
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
2 years
A birth certificate, driver's license, passport, and credit cards for some guy named "David Dennison." #FoundatMaralago
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
7 years
Trump is EASILY the worst president ever, and his ardent supporters are clueless morons, or outright bad people. #UnleashTheTwitterTrolls
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
4 years
Open my door for Jason #IdRather_ThanVoteForTrump
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
6 years
#DonaldTrumpsTheTypeOfGuy who can handle at LEAST 2 dicks...
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
4 years
Witless Protection #TrumpLegalTeamNicknames
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
Actually posted this pic himself. 🙄😂😂 #StupidThingsTrumpHasDone
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
2 years
Well, no bibles, that's for sure. #FoundatMaralago
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
3 years
His autobiography will hit #1 on the book sale charts! #MyPillowGuyPredictions
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
6 years
Tonight, I lost my beautiful, sweet Amy... I'm at a loss. She lived a long life, and I'll love her always. ❤😞
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
@jrgaillot @mens_sana__ The leadership in Haiti is likely much more advanced/intelligent than ours in the USA.
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
Needing new clothes because everyone in the house has already seen everything you own. #RichFolkLockdownProblems
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
I wish I could play this # game, but I'm kinda busy going through this box full of notebooks from high school. #DeepThoughtsFromHoarders
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
4 years
Give yourself a gift! #MelaniasChristmasTips
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
2 years
There just aren't enough hours in the day... #LaurenBoebertsProblems
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
Not knowing what is part of the USA, or even where they're located, or who is in charge there. #StupidThingsTrumpHasDone
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
6 years
In all seriousness, I want to applaud you for your "space force" concept. I have high hopes that they'll explore Uranus and find your head. 👍 @realDonaldTrump
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
4 years
This was me, at my coolest. 😁 #SignsYouPeakedInHighSchool (Circa 1990)
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
4 years
@tonyposnanski @IvankaTrump @realDonaldTrump That's far too kind, Tony. I couldn't pick just one...
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
4 years
A good and respectable man. #UseTheWrongPicture
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
4 years
Sue the Leaning Tower of Pisa for stealing his stance. #StillOnTrumpsToDoList
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
4 years
The Unbearable Lightness Of Being So. Damn. Stupid. #MAGAaMovie
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
#AfterTheSexIsOver , and nine months or so have passed, we'll have a dough baby to rise!
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
8 years
#TheresNothingMoreSexierThan someone that makes you forget how gorgeous they are on the outside, because of how beautiful they are inside.
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
2 years
Give her some cheese. They're fascinated by that shit. #WaysToSatisfyAWoman
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
2 years
@Ms_Xtina I wish I could. It's bizarre and, one would think, inappropriate. 😬
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
6 years
#IGaveBirthTo my beautiful dough baby! I love & knead him and call him George. ❤
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
4 years
The next "Fast & Furious" movie looks legit AF. #UseTheWrongPicture
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
4 years
#InMyCultWeHave personality.
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
6 years
One Day At A Crime #WhiteHouseSitcoms
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
4 years
State a new reason you hate Christmas on each of the 12 days! #MelaniasChristmasTips
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
7 years
Have Boys II Men sing her the breakup. They make everything sound better. #NiceWaysToDumpSomeone @danniestagteam
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
2 years
His name, spelled backward, is "nole," and everyone knows that NOLE is an acronym for "no one lays Elon." Poor fella. #ElonsProblems
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
#WhatTrumpHasTaughtUs that not all clowns wear makeup. Oh wait- never mind.
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
7 years
News Flash- left isn't right. Right isn't right. Doing what is good and what should be done for EVERYONE, is right. It can happen! 🙏
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
6 years
#WhenABlackCatCrossesMyPath I count my blessings. Black cats are great! Kiwi, and his "reaaaalllly, poppa??" look...
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
6 years
Someday My Prince Will Cum #MakeADisneySongSexy
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
4 years
@KaylaChowShow @Kica333 How would that ruin it? It would allow me, *ahem*- your date, to offer to put it back in. Lemons from lemonade and whatnot.
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
6 years
@GAKish @orangutantrolls @KirbySabey1 @StormyDaniels He might call his hand his girlfriend. 😏😂
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
6 years
#AsAKidBeingRichMeant having a Cabbage Patch Kid instead of some extra dough...😕
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
4 years
Why don't more people talk about how Columbus was actually the first person to walk on the moon? #StupidQuestionsForQAnon
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
The "D" in Disney stands for something else... #DisneyAfterMidnight
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
4 years
If you like Thighland, you should visit Budabreast. #FakeThighlandFacts
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
6 years
#MyExcuseForTypos is that I came home to find my beautiful 20 yr old cat had passed away while I was working. I can't see what I'm typing through my tears...
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
4 years
Attempt to not pay. #DontDoThisAfterSex
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
4 years
Paper cuts & lemon juice #ThingsMorePopularThanTrump
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
3 years
I woke up today to find that my beloved little boy Kiwi passed away overnight. He was only 9. I just don't understand how he can possibly be gone. I'm sure he's in a happy place where he has salmon all the time & no pesky kittens trying to love him by playing with his tail. ❤️😔
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
🎶 #InTheYearIWasBorn , there was a man who sailed to sea And he told us of his life In the land of submarines So we sailed up to the sun 'Til we found a sea of green And we lived beneath the waves In our yellow submarine...🎶
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
4 years
You think you recognize EVERYBODY. #UnusualVaccineSideEffects
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
#BeingLiberalMeans knowing you don't HAVE to like the president to love your country. 🇺🇸
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
Because there needs to be a mental age limit for the office. #WhyImNotVotingForTrump
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
4 years
I'm prepared for #WhenMomCalls . I have a list next to the phone of my recent achievements and talking points. Some of them are even real!
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
3 years
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
6 years
My marriage would last forever because, y'know- love. #DumbThingsIBelieved
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
My birthday carrot cake from Mitchell's Fish Market! So darn good...😍😊👍
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
8 years
#PleaseStopTellingMe this schmuck is even remotely qualified to be the president
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
6 years
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
Picking a pumpkin because you think he's a better option than Hillary... #HowNotToPickAPumpkin
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
2 years
His eventual White House portrait. #FoundatMaralago
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
@williamlegate @realDonaldTrump That's an amazing name for him! 👍😂😂
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
2 years
An immense number of Legos. 'Coz some kids just can't spell. #FoundatMaralago
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
4 years
"You're my bitch" Bear #CareBearsForAdults
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
6 years
@realDonaldTrump YOU had to be told to put your hand on your heart for the anthem, you moron! Stop trying to enforce your idiocy on people standing up for (or kneeling for) their rights! You have inspired me to kneel for the anthem, btw. (Because we deserve better than you, to be clear.)
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
7 years
Who would win in a fight- you or Siri? #StupidQuestionsForAlexa
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
They don't like the country they live in. #WhiteNationalistsProblems
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
6 years
Check it out, haters- pineapple on a delicious pizza! 😋😂😂
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
6 years
2 Broke Girls Getting Paid To Pee On An Old Man #WhiteHouseSitcoms
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
4 years
Dunce Dunce Revolution #TrumpedUpVideoGames
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
The Maths & the Grammars #DonaldTrumpsPetPeeves
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
7 years
So damn fuckin' fragile...yo. #MyMentalHealthIn5Words @ShutUpAmanda
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
Full-sized Mario Kart! #OnlyHappensAtWalmart
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Mario Speedwagon
5 years
@dennisdiclaudio @TomiLahren Well, to be fair, even for Donnie himself she's more like a second, third, or even fourth lady.
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
2 years
A gateway to the dark home dimension of Yog Sothoth. #FoundatMaralago
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
8 years
My race is "human"... Skin color has nothing to do with that.
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
3 months
@angel_0f_deathx I call that a GOOD night on Twitter.
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
I say "hi Kiwi- love you, buddy!" #WhenABlackCatCrossesYourPath
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
3 years
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
Breaking the glass ceiling sounds good at first, but imagine all the cleaning up you'll have to do afterward! #MansplainWomenProblems
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Mario Speedwagon
4 years
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Mario Speedwagon
6 years
#ItsOkayToBeAngryWhen a "loved one" can't stand by you in your battle against depression.
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
3 years
My friend said something I liked when I told him the news of Betty White. He said "maybe this was her final gift to us, so as not to ruin 2022." That does sound like her style. ❤️ #RIPBetty #ThankYouForBeingAFriend
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
2 years
A feeding trough filled with old hamberders. #FoundatMaralago
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
#OnThePandemicUpside , I've learned how to fold a fitted sheet.
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
1. Extricate head from own ass. 2. Have a subordinate find out what "extricate" means. #OnTrumpsToDoList
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
Hello. I'm Donald Trump. #ThingsStupidPeopleSay
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
4 years
@MJMcKean I'm so sad to hear of this loss for everyone. I'm sure you have amazing memories to cherish always. I've always enjoyed this pic of you guys together. Not "flattering," but a great image. All the best to you, and the death of his friends and family. 😞❤🙏
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
50 Ways To Leave Your Lover #AwkwardFuneralSongs
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
3 years
@C4NCERGIRL @sapioslut I'm doing research on the subject, just to stay ready for some random opportunity.
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
6 years
Robin Will.i.ams #StandUpComicABand
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
6 years
Query- will Morgan Freeman narrate his own courtroom footage? 😕
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
Being a ridiculous asshole for your entire life #IsAMajorRedFlag that is unlikely to go away when given a YUGE promotion.
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
7 years
#SexSoVanilla you slap your own ass just to feel alive.
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
4 years
Using lacy undies as a mask. #DumbPandemicDecisions
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
2 months
@itsmargmaria @Mikel_Jollett Not just women- anyone with a functioning brain should feel that way.
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@SilipigniMario
Mario Speedwagon
5 years
@YankeePride How so? A lot of us think she and her teammates are amazing. 👍🇺🇸
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