Shocked by the news of Caroline’s death but not surprised. I have said that this would happen soon. I was very nearly pushed there myself. I do not post this lightly. It’s absolutely tragic. It’s sad and disgusting and should never have happened. I’m sorry.
My partner told me Jill Scott was trending on twitter. I know what that means. Just downloaded the app again to say to say very publicly I love you Jill Scott. I’m so proud of you and you deserve to be there. ❤️ Bye.
I watched a woman in Tescos today, not only bag 48 toilet rolls, 12 packs of fusilli and 18 bottles of hand sanitizer, she then helped take them to my car. Excellent customer service
I just did a gig where I told an audience member to ‘get fucked’. It turned out that the audience member was a journalist for the Daily Mail. It is, without question, the proudest moment of my career.
Thanks everyone. And thank you to
@Mrs_katjones
for managing to keep in a man that dances like a shed in the wind for this long. I’ll see you all soon. Keeeeeeep laughing. X
In light of the story in today's newspaper I would like to offer my sincere apologies for my actions. This is no excuse but it was a one-off drunken mistake which I am truly sorry for.
I’m flattered to be on Gogglebox tonight performing the, and I quote.... “Reverse Dog Shit Shuffle”. ⬅️ 🐶 💩🕺🕺🕺🕺💥💥💥💥💥 See you tomorrow night where I’ll be including the Spinning Bucket of Cat Piss in our Paso Doble
Although sad to hear Darcey Bussell has stepped down as a judge on Strictly, I am happy to announce I will be replacing her for the next series. Cannot wait! Keep daaaancing. 🕺
Thanks so much to everyone that has watched & shared my special KISS. I want you all to know that this past week has been the first time in over three years that I have felt good about myself & you’re all to thank for it. I forgot I could feel like this. Thank you, It’s amazing
Hey guys, bit of weird one - I’ve entered myself into a dancing competition that starts tomorrow. I know, what am I liiiiiike. Anyway, wish me luck. Also, anyone got any clean underwear I could borrow? 🕺🦁
#teamdreamcurls
Just want to say a big thank you to everyone who got in touch to show their support for my venture into the world of
@bbcstrictly
. It is times like this when you are reminded of who your true friends are and also that you need to start saving phone numbers more🕺💃
I don’t know one Stormzy song but every time I read anything about this man, I like him even more and for that I’ve decided I’m going to buy his album. That’s right Grime, I’m coming atchya. *Boom chicha boom boom* That’s Grime isn’t it?
My kids are crying , we come here so I could spend some quality time with them . Now they are scared people are coming here to get them. The daily Mail have purposely doxxed the exact location of my family . How can they be allowed to do this.
I just want to take this moment to tell you how much I love you all. Everyone on here makes me smile at the moment. I think you’re all really great people and just keep doing what you’re doing because it’s working. I could go on and on but it’s time for my next dose of codeine.
I watched a man blow dry his bollocks in front of the mirror in the gym changing rooms today. That’s right, not saw, watched. Couldn’t believe it. Interrupted me platting my pubes.
I know Watkins was playing for Weston Super Mare a few years ago & just scored the goal to take England to the Euro final but please do not think that you shouldn’t give up on your dreams. The chances of that happening were so slim. It’s still probably not going to happen for you
I want England to win but I want them to just get over the line again. I’m enjoying this thing we’ve got going on. I want us to be the first team to win the Euros and still be miserable. “Yeah, we won it but we’re shit”. You can’t get more English than that.
RIP Peter Stringfellow. Met him in one of his clubs once. He recognised me and insisted I didn’t pay for a dance all night, which was very nice until his cock brushed my chin.
KISS is very close to being on 90k views. Believe me when I say I am rarely proud of myself or anything I have done in my career but during a time when very very very few people would work with me in TV/Streaming, I filmed it completely independently
Do you know what’s good when you’ve got to the jive in front of millions of people live on television? When the night before, upstairs decide to have a massive party. I actually went to grab the broom to bang my ceiling. I don’t know who I am anymore!
Cant get my head around people being angry about smoking ban. “Taking away our freedom”? That’s what laws are, taking away some freedoms for the benefit of a society. Making it illegal to shag a cat is taking away our right to shag a cat, it’s also a good idea that isn’t allowed
Rehearsals Day 1. I’ve just had the single most terrifying but wonderful day probably of my life. So lovely to meet everyone! To all those that asked if I had rhythm....well...you’ll just have to tune into see 😜😜😜. (NONE WHATSOEVER)
Strictly Come Dancing again tomorrow. As long as I don’t accidentally chuck
@Mrs_katjones
into a set of stairs like I did in rehearsals today, it’s gonna be great! Also if I don’t drop her like I did yesterday when her nail ripped clean off. 🦁🕺ps the jive is hard
I want to use this convivial app to send my ❤️ into the world for
@mrmarksteel
.He won’t like that there’s no joke. ‘Friendship consists of those rare ppl who come to find you in dark places & lead you into the light’. Thanks for being there when I couldn’t get down from the loft.
Do the government not know anything about the British public? Opening pubs will not deflect from damaging statues. All that will happen is they’ll end up in the river later that night with a traffic cone on their head.
In Lockdown 1, I joined the street WhatsApp group. Some members of the group didn’t realise I’d joined and were discussing how unfunny they found me - I know, f*****g typical! 🤣🤣 Someone thought I was too ‘blue’. Anyway, thought I’d drop back in….
My mum is trying to use my Apple Hub but instead of saying ‘Hey, Siri’, I can hear her keep saying ‘Hi, Sarah’. I should help but it’s too funny and I’m a prick
My sitcom written with James Kettle is coming. Bit of prep first. I’m alongside an amazing cast! Miles Jupp, Kate Robbins, Rosie Holt, Marek Larwood & Tom Little. Can’t wait. X
The weather forecast in Barcelona is rain and cloudy until the day after I leave, whilst back in the UK, there is a heat wave until the day I get back (when it is due to rain). I am Seann Walsh. This is my life.
I know it’s a bit mad but after that, I feel like I’d rather be where we are now with that man in charge than where we were in October with the other guy. That was special today. It just felt more like QPR.
Thank you Gareth.
I remember being 19, downing shots of tequila, arms around my friends, jumping up and down to Mr Brightside thinking ‘I’m going to live forever’. Cut to- I’m currently lying on my sofa listening to the radio with the telly off.