Steph Johnson
@ScouseBirdBlogs
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#Liverpoolblogger & entrepreneur. She/her. Fuck the Tories @Scousebirdshop sbp @scousebirdproblems .com 🇺🇦
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Joined April 2012
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No one gets triggered like a Tory. Stood in the shop doorway shouting at us yesterday 🤣🤣
You’re angry at the wrong thing mate, be angry that we need to be a food bank drop off point.
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Asked for recommendations for landscapers last week because I kept getting let down. Organised one guy to come out next week and give me a quote. This morning I got this...
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So you agree, people should have the right to leave their country and move to another country if it’s unsafe or they don’t agree with the regime?
Lee Anderson is receiving abuse for arguing that those who don't like anything about Britain ought to leave.
He surely has a point?
If you think we're a racist, fascistic, bigoted little island with a monarchy you loathe and values you despise, what on earth are you staying for?!
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I’m gonna post this before LADbible rob it - get on the urinals in Cellar 24 Liverpool 😂😂😂
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The NHS don’t need you to clap or share memes, they need you to STAY THE FUCK INSIDE
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Jonny getting swerved for being too boring after swerving Camilla for being too boring is the best karma I've ever seen
#loveisland
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Have Michael and Joanna actually had a conversation that hasn’t been about Amber yet?
#LoveIsland
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If you don’t say “Thank you” to the bus driver as you get off, you were dragged up.
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Just when you thought you couldn’t get snider than Adam laughing at Rosie crying, I give you Meg smirking at breaking up a relationship
#LoveIsland
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Stop selling loungewear with crop tops! I can’t lounge when all I can see are my fat rolls
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Even IF you could present an airtight, irrefutable argument that it’s the parents fault, you know whose fault it never is? The children’s.
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Have a day off sally. Contacts me completely unprovoked, out the blue, no prior communication. Just why hun?
These tattle gals are getting BOLD.
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Wear a mask. Keep a social distance where and when you can. Shop small and local if able to. Don’t be a grass. Join a union. Look out for and after each other. Fuck the Tories.
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I hope this pub in new Brighton is open and serving food because I’m suddenly really keen to offer my patronage
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I am genuinely so so sad about Caroline Flack. We alllll make mistakes. No one should ever feel like suicide is the only option. There’s always a way out of the darkest times 💔
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I honestly don’t get why people, mainly men, have SUCH an issue with girls taking nice photos. Especially when their favourite hobby is liking them.
Don't pose for Instagram by the pool and not expect this to happen 😂😂
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I will Simon. This vote wasn’t for me. I’ll be sound. This was for everyone else who isn’t as fortunate as me. So yes, I will cry for them. I have a heart. Where the FUCK is everyone elses?
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Dancing sober: “I need approx 7 more gins for this to be ok.” Dancing drunk: “Clear me some space bitchhh my hips don’t lie. No Mr Bouncer, I will not climb down from this table.”
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Campaign for the Independent Scouse Republic of Liverpool
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I ain’t afraid of no belly rolls, I’m afraid of my daughter growing up and having no pictures of us together
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Watch me lose a load of followers for this, but I'm angry.
I've had undecideds messaging me saying its made up their mind to vote Labour so it's 100% worth it.
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I am literally in tears here. Choking on my coffee an everything
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Is the clapping on a Thursday night coming back or are we actually gonna campaign for key workers to get a pay rise this time round?
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James Corden’s agent when someone in Hollywood tries to make something without him in it
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Listen, if sexuality was a choice do you think any of us would actually choose to deal with fellas?
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Hayley: WEZ! GERRRREEERE NOW!
The whole of Liverpool:
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Don’t bother wasting money on scales to see if you’ve gained weight - just call round to see your nan and she’ll tell you for free.
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New sign hu dis? Might as well ruffle a few more feathers in Crosby and end how we began... with complaints from tories 🤣🤣
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Nans are your biggest critic to your face but your biggest fan to other people- won’t think twice about telling you you’ve put weight on but get a new job somewhere as a receptionist and she’ll tell all her mates you’re running the company
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The worst part of online shopping is the bit where you have to get up and go and find your card
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So excited for
@MrMichaelSpicer
room next door
“Tony Abbott is a homophobe and a misogynist”
Health Sec
@MattHancock
: “He’s also an expert on trade”
#KayBurley
JM
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When the scousers tried to warn the country that the tories were twats
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Normalise belly rolls! I‘m 35 and my body isn't the same as it was when I was 25, I have curves in different places, I hate it less, I have birthed an amazing human, I've been in and out of shape, I've been a size 10-12 and I've been a size 18.
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If you’ve ever been the Krazyhouse then don’t worry about what’s in the vaccine
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Personally I feel one of the biggest tests in any relationship is if you love the other person enough to refrain from watching ahead on the series you’re watching together on Netflix the second your partner leaves the house
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This makes me feel sick. What a different place this country could have been.
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No man has all three:
1. A good credit score
2. A driving licence
3. A full head of hair
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Whatever happens tonight, the only thing I regret about being so public going so hard for Labour is that I didn’t do it sooner. I have a clear conscience and everyone who voted Labour voted for the good guys, for a better life for everyone. The rest of you voted for Darth Vader.
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Happy Pancake Day to everyone apart from people who make healthy, low sugar protein versions. Have a day off
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Omg just heard that Jess and Dom from Love Island are getting married and I think I've just sprained my eyeball rolling it that hard
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When you've been speaking to someone at the bar for 5 minutes then realise you know them
#xfactor
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If you‘re goin the shop and your bird says she wants “nothing” she's lying. She wants chocolate. Don't fuck it up.
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I wonder how many girls have ignored the man of their dreams while they were busy being loyal to a cheating gobshite
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Curtis is that “nice” lad who finally gets a taste of girl’s fancying him and turns into the end of level Boss Gobshite
#LoveIsland
🐍
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Shoutout to them low maintenance mates who you can see once in a blue moon because you're both busy but there's no problem. You the real MVP
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Oh god we’ve got a “cool girl” on our hands. Zara’s a “cool girl” who can rise above jealousy. She UNDERSTANDS Adam. God Rosie, you’re just pushing him away for daring to question his gobshitey manliness. Be COOL like Zara.
#LoveIsland
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Alex has pulled one bird and now he’s swanning round the villa like he’s got a 10ft dick
#LoveIsland
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Here we go. Wez given Laura the cold shoulder all day but watch him try and make her look like a psycho for picking up on it. Watch. Textbook manoeuvre.
#LoveIsIand
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Zac Efron’s playing Ted Bundy and now I want to shag a serial killer. Cheers. Nice one. Kids crying.
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It would be absolute poetry if Adam fucked Kendall over for Rosie and sent her home and Rosie sends him home
#loveisland
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Jonny waiting at the bottom of the stairs for Camilla like a prom date has give me all of the feels
#loveisland
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The plague of the working class Tory is more deadly than any virus
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If you’re in your 30s and single, don’t worry - at least you haven’t just married Boris Johnson
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Ok so I found out last night that I've officially turned over my first million....
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Does anyone else have a favourite hob on the cooker or is that just me??
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Normalise Manchester and Liverpool coming together to fuck off the government and declare independence
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Sunday before 9pm is just a countdown until Line of Duty time
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Girls, If a thick sexist like Trump can become President then you can deffo apply for that job you're scared you're not qualified enough for
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Megan you can’t have it both ways.
You can’t be all “I’m a woman I’m allowed to have sex, I’m allowed to enjoy it, I’m not ashamed” and then be like “EEEEEEE I’M NOT A SLAG”
#LoveIsland
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Remember that time we were supposed to believe Bridget Jones was morbidly obese
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Why are people blaming Love Island when the fault clearly lies at the door of all the shitrag newspapers?
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I wish there was a “Not a crop top” option when you’re searching on clothes websites
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This is why girls think all fellas are gobshites. One minute HE’S bringing up marriage with Laura and the next Wez’s off telling some other bird he’s not arsed about her.
#LoveIsland
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BUSINESS IDEA: A Bake Off subscription box where you get a box of whatever that weeks theme is dropped off at your door so you can have an eat-a-long
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Picture this, it’s a year from now, everyone’s been vaccinated and Boris is in jail. You’re in the beer garden of Heebies, it’s packed. Some fella goes “Can I just squeeze past you there love?” and knocks your drink slightly. Life is good.
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Thinking you've got away with a hangover until it hits you like a tonne of bricks around 3pm
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Grand designs and Location Location Location baffle me.
These are first time buyers Steve and Jenny from Leicester. Steve is a postman and Jenny works on the checkout in the Asda, together they have a budget of £635,000
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You know you’re getting old when you drink on a Friday night instead of Saturday so you’ve got two days to recover
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The hardest thing about Xmas week is deciding what to have for tea. Cheese footballs? Ferrero Rocher? Pringles? An entire bottle of baileys?
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Say sorry. Just say sorry. No I want you to say sorry right now. Say sorry.
Can I point out that if Mr Corbyn had asked for a selfie, we would have happily obliged.
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Marcel can guess Gabby's middle name yet I've met men who can't even remember my first name. Find you a Marcel girls.
#loveisland
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