Sarah Breen
@SarahJayBee
Followers
22K
Following
29K
Media
2K
Statuses
49K
This is an Oasis stan account. I also write things, mostly with @EmerTheScreamer 👯♀️ she/her
Dublin, Ireland
Joined February 2009
Omg when you like a tweet that includes the #Oscars hashtag there’s a surprise. (I’m easily pleased).
79
106
10K
My kids are currently pretending to be reindeer. The 7yo is Rudolf and the 3yo says she’s Olive. I was like, Olive? Olive, the other reindeer, she says.
79
289
7K
Warning to anyone using the click and collect service from Smyths - they put everything in a clear bag. I repeat, the bag is CLEAR 👀.
109
323
4K
I really think An Post should do postal workers awards, mostly because I want my postman to win one. He’s such a diamond.
85
89
3K
If you don’t approve of the church then don’t take part in its rituals
78
436
3K
Went swimming here in Belmullet Co Mayo today and omg Dublin needs a tidal pool ASAP. All the joy of the sea without the sand, seaweed or jellyfish. A revelation (and if you squint you’ll see @EmerTheScreamer )
94
149
3K
Let’s just not go back to work on Tuesday. They can’t fire us ALL.
17
168
3K
An old man just stopped me on the street and pointed to my kids. Presumed he was going to complain about something but he just said “my babies are 49 and 51 now” 💔.
22
27
3K
Good god this show has changed from a capitalist spendfest to a celebration of the best kids in Ireland and I am here for it #latelatetoyshow.
12
213
3K
Obsessed with this. Open top parades shouldn’t be reserved for sports!.
BT Young Scientist Winners Homecoming Part 1
12
67
3K
Sohla should be earning six times whatever they’re paying Delaney.
In case you’ve missed it: Not only is Sohla one of the only front facing Bon Appetit editors to denounce EIC Adam Rapoport doing brown face, apparently only white BA editors are paid for their video appearances. Here’s her Instagram story just now
21
286
2K
Are we absolutely positively SURE this isn’t all the same person?
27
259
2K
The iPhone weather app has to be the most pessimistic piece of shit ever invented.
39
53
2K
I’ve done a good few jobs in my time but NOTHING is more exhausting than spending all day with small children. Once they start talking they never. shut. the. fuck. up narrating their own lives 😖.
77
54
2K
I wish I loved anything as much as my husband loves testing the WiFi speed.
48
64
2K
Husband has taken the kids for a walk. This is the first time I’ve been away from them in . 7 weeks and 3 days. I have opened the gin.
33
12
2K
Cannot believe companies are doing Zoom Christmas parties when they could simply give their staff the money instead. Just give them the money, lads.
35
50
2K
When is the Kerrygold factory going to become a tourist attraction à la the Guinness Storehouse.
33
39
2K
If cancel culture is real why do we still have the Catholic Church 🤔.
22
120
2K
I am this 🤏🏻 close to just going fuck it and ringing Shannon’s Hair, Beauty, Brows, Nails and Dog Grooming on the Lower Kimmage Road for an appointment next week.
36
57
2K
Mad that we used to be able to do whatever we wanted, constantly.
7
80
2K
Most unexpected thing to come out of this weekend is me fancying Dermot Kennedy A LOT.
40
42
2K
This is . my dream?.
The UK's first socially distanced gig happened in Newcastle last night. 500 separate raised metal platforms, each accommodating up to five people from the same family/household. Hand sanitizer station and mini fridge included. Singing allowed too!
19
99
2K
“I’m on the bus, I’ll call you back” is something more people need to learn how to say.
27
130
2K
Which government phase will allow Matt Damon to come to the northside?.
42
58
2K
I feel like we as Irish people don’t make enough of a big deal about Annie Mac.
41
41
2K
I don’t know anything about football but I know Marcus Rashford has done so much good for the world. Please no burning effigies or death threats you animals.
6
67
2K
Just thinking about the Dinner Party episode of The Office and how it’s the most exquisite 22 minutes of television I’ve ever seen 🥲
32
118
2K
Tesco is now individually wrapping pastries in plastic. Read the room, Tesco 🙄
73
259
1K
Am I the only one who thinks the grandad in Derry Girls is alright for a grandad?.
47
30
1K
Begged the 6yo to stop talking about dragons, just for five minutes, and she just shrugged and went, “talking’s my thing.” HELP ME SOMEBODY.
46
21
1K
The 3yo just came outside to where I’m on a blanket, lay down, sighed and said wistfully “I just love Daddy”.
25
10
1K
5yo came in and puked on our bedroom floor just now (lovey). Between retches she was like “can I 🤮 still go 🤮 trick or treating🤮?” Admirable really.
11
39
1K
I’d like to speak to the salesperson who managed to sell my husband a leotard to go with his new bike. And then I’d like that person to be arrested.
30
45
1K
I have no siblings so I can not understand my kids’ dynamic. They are addicted to torturing each other? Is it normal?.
203
15
1K
Kids up and dressed by 5.45am?? The excitement here is off the charts. Good luck to everyone heading back to school today. Nothing but admiration for all the educators doing huge amounts of work behind the scenes to pull this off smoothly 💫💫.
13
28
1K
I need someone to invest in my idea of a smart electric blanket that connects to your phone so you can switch it on when you’re coming home. No time wasters please.
28
11
1K
The Smyth’s catalogue arrived today and I didn’t hide it in time. It’s too late for me but save yourselves.
29
32
1K
RIP Ashling Murphy. Absolutely devastating news. Heartbroken for her friends and family and horrified that we live in a country where this can happen.
8
50
1K
A negative PCR result on Christmas week is like a shot of festive spirit to the heart 💉.
9
9
1K
I never believed in muscle memory until I walked into the Stag’s Head and only my legs remembered where the toilets are.
14
15
1K
Did a . 46a write this?
#BestBusRoute #46a Just love my 46a bus route. Took 4 today. Never waited more than 5’. Thanks to @dublinbusnews drivers.
20
96
1K
Why doesn’t Ireland have a potato festival? Think about it. Restaurants could serve up their most delicious potato concoctions. We could have so many different types of chips. Spud on a stick anyone??? I just love potatoes and I’ve taken a lot of head cold medication.
62
47
1K
Just wrote “thank you for your patience” instead of “sorry for the delay” in an email and it felt so good.
17
18
1K
We are rewatching the Toy Show and I can confirm they’ve cut out the bit where Tubs said fuck.
27
11
1K
Hundreds and hundreds of kids at the vaccine centre in Swords this morning and the whole operation is running like a dream. Huge thanks to all the staff and volunteers 💪🏻.
29
27
1K
Dreamt that me and Dr Tony Holohan went on holidays to Greece. What can it mean.
44
21
1K
Tomorrow night has been upgraded from Out to Out Out. Dust off your jeans and a nice tops #omgwaca.
6
93
1K
Just a reminder that baking with children is hell and anyone who suggests otherwise is a psychopath x.
44
35
1K
My friend has Daft alerts set up. One place in D8 is down by €800 a month.
15
67
1K
No one:. Not a single soul:. Dublin Chamber:.
White water rafting, anyone? New images have been released to show what the new white water rafting facility, that Dublin City Council is proposing to build in the IFSC, will look like. The project will reportedly cost €22m and take around 18 months to build. #BetterDublin
40
79
982
The worst people are the ones who get on the bus and immediately slam the window shut.
15
15
968
Hands up if you’ve ever allowed this in exchange for three minutes of peace 🙋🏼♀️
38
22
980
When are the seagulls going to return to the actual coast? Phase 4? I’m tired of these loud arseholes screaming at 5.30am.
37
28
935
Just logging on to say I am sick to the back teeth of clicking accept cookies. There must be an easier way.
18
17
951
23
7
926
Just thinking about paper straws and how much I hate them and how they ruin absolutely every beverage.
17
17
884
Wild that the state has bent over backwards to accommodate the pope when it looks like the population couldn’t give a shit. Maybe ask us next time.
16
93
842
God car seats are the bane of my existence. Wish it was the 80s and I could just fire the kids loose into the back of a van.
49
19
861
This morning @EmerTheScreamer and I delivered OMGWACA 5, the last book in the Aisling series, to @Gill_Books. The end of an era, you might say. It’ll be out this autumn
34
13
853
In a restaurant in town and someone just walked past holding a “Putin is a cunt” sign.
18
16
814
Sick to my stomach looking at the footage of what’s happening in Dublin tonight. You’re trashing your own city, you morons.
4
36
799
Explaining #IWD19 to my 5yo daughter and she asked when is International Men’s Day. Honestly what am I raising here.
32
13
780
What’s the etiquette on asking your neighbour to stop smoking weed just while the kids clothes are on the line?.
42
9
794
I need something that is stronger than coffee but not as strong as like MDMA.
20
28
763
Today in town I witnessed an influencer (I’m guessing) do a photoshoot holding a tiny handbag and then she shoved it into a big tote bag and headed off. Trust no one!!!.
8
26
749
I’d like to report a crime.
@SarahJayBee I’m in Italy atm and just watched a lady spend €10 on an icecream, only to launch it straight into a bin after taking her shot for insta 😄.
5
47
737
My 5yo says if she wins a colouring competition in school she’ll get tickets to Potato Park and now I really want to go to Potato Park.
26
19
731
Ever since Simon Harris said we couldn’t dickey up the house I can think of little else. All I wanna do is dickey.
17
20
733
It is an affront to be charged extra for jam when you order a scone IMO.
35
7
718
Finally managed to silence the 3yo . by telling her I used to be a little girl. Genuinely dumbstruck.
12
5
707
Just cleaned the detergent tray of my washing machine for the first time ever. I believe this is something I should have been doing quite regularly.
36
10
697
This is your seasonal reminder that Smyths plastic bags are still SEE THROUGH 👀.
Warning to anyone using the click and collect service from Smyths - they put everything in a clear bag. I repeat, the bag is CLEAR 👀.
16
41
678
I spend about 22 hours a day thinking about how celebrities are having to hoover their own massive houses now.
16
11
688
Every time I think about the €32m we’re spending on the pope’s visit I suffer a tiny little rage blackout.
16
95
653
You know they way Americans say “addicting” instead of “addictive”? I wish they’d stop.
78
44
648
WE ARE NO1 OMG 🎉🎉🎉.
It's official! 'The Importance of Being Aisling' is the number 1 bestselling book in Ireland this week! Congratulations to the brilliant @EmerTheScreamer and @SarahJayBee for capturing the heart of the nation once again. #OMGWACA
19
20
666