A Queer and Pleasant Danger 🦖🦕
@Samwitch11
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""No living man am I! You look upon a woman." (She/Her) (trans) Profile pic by @skit_kin
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4 years ago, I released Énouement into the wild. In the ensuing years, it has connected me with more wonderful people than I could have imagined. It was so healing to write, and it continues to bless me by steering me towards moments of warmth and genuine kindness.
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At an LGBTQ+ conference a few years ago.
Me: ...so, to me, it's important for our cisgender allies to-
Cis person: I hate that word! Why do I have to be "cisgender"? Why can't I just be "normal"?
Other, kinder cis person: We've been wondering that about you all day, Roger.
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Heavy sigh.
I was talking to a coworker last week, and she got a phone call that transferred to her super-cool watch. She pointed to her wrist and said, "Sorry, my son is calling!"
I said, "Wow! Like Dick Tracy!"
Today I am explaining to my manager why I called her a "Dick".
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NOPE. Bigots don't get to have dinosaurs.
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Finding who you are isn't always easy. And sometimes people can make it harder than it has to be.
The majority of people who detransition their gender presentation do so because the people they love refuse to let them be who they are.
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I do not know this sign's source, but omigosh...
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At a funeral, and a man I haven't seen in 10 years calls me by my sister's name, and comments, "I don't remember you being so tall."
I tell this to my sister, who then, exasperated, tells me to look at her phone. The facial recognition software opens it.
"I hate you," she says.
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Manager: ...and no using the transition room for breaks-
Me: I'm sorry. The what room?
Manager: The transi- the room between here and the lockers?
Me: I've... never heard it called that
Manager: Okay. What dumb thing are you going to say now?
Me: *sweats in choice paralysis*
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Sorry. I was just reminded of this, reading a few tweets today.
Gentle reminder that "cis" isn't a slur. Cis folks are just as good or bad as trans folks, they're just not trans.
And to single out one group as "normal" in contrast to a group that is less typical is hurtful.
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It is so odd to me when these "good", "God-fearing" men see my mere existence as "testing them."
If you see your fellow human beings as "demons and imps", just because they are different than you, I think you've failed the only test that ever mattered.
Florida Republican Rep. Webster Barnaby directly compared trans people to mutants in X-Men and called the trans people, including children, present in the room "demons and imps."
This was during debate for HB1421 that would criminalize trans people using bathrooms.
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Honestly, there are days I wish I really WAS like the first picture, but we all know that just ain't happening.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to baking cookies.
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Manager: So, these barcodes should speed up inventory.
Me: Sweden used them in their harbors to speed up boat check ins!
Manager: Swedish boats have barcodes?
Me: Yup! Huge UPCs right on the bow.
Manager: Really?
Me: It's how they Scandanavian.
Manager:
Manager: WHY?
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Things we can disagree on and still be friends:
The wonderfuless of dinosaurs, monsters, and robuts.
How to pronounce "robot."
How to spell "pamcake."
The edibility of celery.
Overalls as sartorial staples.
Rogue's position as the premier X-man.
Bugs.
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A trans woman shares an experience online; a brush with misogyny, a scary scenario with a man, or maybe physical discomfort due to being on estrogen. Very often I see the comment "Welcome to being a woman!" show up as a response.
Does this feel patronizing to anyone else?
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@LilahSturges
Cleaning my room, and my nephew (6) walks in.
Him: Do you know about the dead god?
Me: Wh- I'm sorry? Do I know about who?
Him: *smiles beatifically* You know.
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I found out earlier today that my friend's family probably isn't going to use their proper name and pronouns in their funeral service, and I am just so very sad and so very tired.
I hate so much that people can do such awful things to their children with such blithe unconcern.
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I didn't have much time to work on this, and I won't have much time at my computer for a while, so this is rather slap-dash in its presentation, but it is heartfelt. My love and admiration to Rep. Zephyr, and all the support I can muster.
I stand with
@ZoAndBehold
.
#LetHerSpeak
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You can help make trans kids happy and healthy, or you can help make trans kids miserable and isolated.
You cannot make trans kids cis.
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My papa (who NEVER calls) called.
He said he was checking in on me. I told him I was doing okay, and asked him how he and mama were doing.
He said, "We're on the road to recovery. I wish my daughter was doing better."
It's me. I'm daughter.
51 years old. I am weeping.
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My shoulder is not super happy with me, but I wanted to try my hand at the Tranosaurus of the Pridosaurs..
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Stern reminder: If you're mean, you don't deserve dinosaurs.
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Things that preclude me from thinking well of you, or considering ever feeling comfortable in your presence:
Arguing against the actual existence or need for affirming health care for trans kids.
Trans kids exist.
I was one.
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Two things from our last Pathfinder session:
1) Our DM mentioned, after a perception check, that our ranger saw a "weird owl", and the entire party immediatedly yelled out, "Yankovic!". I have never felt more at home with a group of people in my entire life.
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Yes, Gamera is friend to ALL children, but this week, I want folks to know trans children are included in that.
Trans kids exist. I was one.
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It's such a blessing to have somebody who backs you when your identity is challenged.
I am so grateful for the people who have shown me the incredible strength of their own confidence, and for those who believed me when I told them who I am.
#TransVisibility
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I was such a quiet and compliant kid, worried about not making it to heaven because of my gender "wickedness". So it came as something of a shock to my mother when the barber who threatened to hold me down and shave my head got bit by me. The barber was surprised, too.
I was 7.
Trans Women's Hair Cultures: Notes on Public Trauma, Hair, & History
This is a variety of observations on the relationship trans women have had to our hair throughout history & how that's changed our relations with each other. Maybe for a longer piece. Share if you like it! 💇
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I just remembered that the activity my manager calls "smocking up" only happens in what I shall now exclusively refer to as the "transition room", and somehow, it fills my strange little heart with exuberance?
"Sorry I was late, boss! Smocking up in the transition room, I was!"
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This is the meanest comic I have ever, or will ever make. I honestly don't think God would back me being a jerk-face, but I just got so tired of hearing "God doesn't make mistakes." It's such a dumb argument to make, theologically, ontologically, and biologically. Ugh.
Boo,
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Making room for bigger and better things in my life.
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I can now say that complete sentence with a queer face.
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At a viewing.
Person who wasn't as kind as he could have been when I came out: Samantha?
Me: Oh! Hey, Brother [person]!
PWWAKAHCHBWICO: Hey. So... I just wanted to apologize for the things I said when I saw you last.
Me: Oh! Um... that's okay (It really wasn't).
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I have grown in ways I never would have thought possible in the past four year. Much of that growth has come from people I have met through this comic. I am so grateful it is a part of my life, and for the chance it gave me to meet you all.
Happy Birthday, little comic. ❤️
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I was too in love with HP (also, too self-centered) to see some of the more glaringly problematic aspects of the stories when I was younger. Even seeing those things as I got older (and slightly less self-centered), it still crushed me to see JKR support anti-Trans sentiments.
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Me: If you ever need to talk, I'm on Facebook.
PWWAKAHCHBWICO: Thanks. I better get going.
Me: *waves*
My sister: I did not see that coming.
Me: Right? I'm running out of people to vilify to my therapist.
My sister: There's always dad.
Dad: What?
Both: Nothing! Love you!
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My friend took this photo of me 5 years ago to the day. When the judge asked me why I wanted to change my name and legal gender marker, I said, "Because everybody else I know gets to be who they are."
She said, "And you should, too. Petition granted."
5 years have flown by.
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This morning I was called into my manager's office to be issued a warning. My offense? Being "overly jocular on official documentation."
Writing that a piece of machinery "malfunctioned, as was prophesied by the mad seer Gibralk in the Byrmas Scrolls" was bad form, apparently.
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A coworker was teasing me because I still like dinosaurs, calling them "kid stuff." Her shirt had a penguin on it.
"Peguins are dinosaurs," I said.
"No, they're not."
"Yes," I said. "Birds are dinosaurs."
"Penguins aren't birds!"
I honestly don't know where to go from here.
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"It's weird," I say to my therapist, "but I feel nervous, restless or tense around school books. They fill me with a sense of impending danger, panic or doom."
She nods, making a note on her laptop. "Textbook anxiety."
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@tobybowling1
If someone asks me not to call them "cis", I won't call them that. But I won't stop using it in general conversation any more than I would stop using "tall" or "Lithuanian".
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@assumptionprime
When you feel like you really should get the joke, and you don't get the joke...
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While I am INFINITELY grateful that I actually got to transition, there are some nights I still feel this to the core of my being.
It's never too late. It just feels that way, a little, sometimes.
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I feel like Jason's tweet gives me a good excuse to post this pic again.
I always find it interesting how evangelicals, specifically, seem to worship a deity who can be destroyed by something as simple as a bit of social evolution.
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I was working up the courage to talk to my coworker who had used the phrase "real woman" as opposed "trans woman", when she came up to me after our work's group Breast Cancer picture. She told me she wanted to apologize.
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I mean, if I had a daughter who came to me with any of these difficulties, I would hope that I would be able to show her some empathy and kindness and try to commiserate with her pain. I don't think I'd want to just dismiss her problems with that particular phrase.
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I would just respectfully ask you that if you're a cis woman, and you're looking to be a good ally, or even just be kind to a trans woman, your only "Welcome to being a woman!" should be on a card, and there should be cake.
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One of the earlier comics I wrote about transitioning. Hormones are the business, kids. <3
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Talking about it wasn't me saying "Hey! Did you know this is a thing that happens? Isn't it wild?" It was just me sharing a yucky experience. "Welcome to being a woman!" feels unnecessarily dismissive of my experience, and not something I'd expect from another woman.
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Went to my brother's place yesterday to show him how to make pepparkakor dough for Saturday's bake-aggedon, and was lamenting we couldn't get mama to check the flour ratio in the dough.
"You're the mama now," he said. "The tradition depends on you."
My heart kinda shattered.
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If you see this post a godzilla!
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@AwayThriw
It is a latin prefix meaning "on the same side as", and a lot of LGBTQ folks use it in the term "cisgender", meaning someone whose gender identity and the gender they were told they were at birth are in congruence, or on the same side.
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I want to hug earring-handing-out-person SO much, for having that tough conversation I wasn't certain I had the spell slots to have.
This is what it means to be an ally. 💜
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Oh, right!
And I made a comic the last time the transphobes and gender critical folk tried this nonsense!
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Just a heads up, family. A trans woman allegedly shot and killed her parents in southern Utah today. Be prepared for the typical deluge of transphobic garbage that comes with terrible and tragic news like this.
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I understand that being a woman is fraught, and that even the crappy version of a boy that I was pretending to be had privileges that are denied most women. I knew that transitioning was going to strip me of a good portion of that.
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When most trans women complain about experiences that are already well known to cis women, it's rarely done out of shock or surprise. The first time I was mansplained to at work was painful, but it wasn't really a shock.
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Of course, of COURSE I Tweet the version of this with the bad foot, and now people are going to think I am a worse dinosaur drawer than they already do. 💔
Never Tweet tired, kids.
Here is the comic with the "correct" foot. Poor Utahraptor...
#DinosAreTrans
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PWWAKAHCHBWICO: *fishes in pocket* I got... I got a flag. *holds up trans pin* I'd be wearing it, but I lost the back.
Me: *feeling tears come on* I'm sure your grandkid really appreciates it.
PWWAKAHCHBWICO: Yeah. Well. I'm sorry. Again.
Me: It's okay (this time, it is).
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If your world is too small to allow for this version of Aragon, it might be a good idea to exam why.
Aragorn has so many things that define him; justness, quietness, passion, courage, and kindness. None of these things are restricted to people with lighter complexions.
"And Aragorn gave it a new name and called it Andúril, Flame of the West."
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Like, I couldn't imagine a cis woman saying that to another cis woman. It just wouldn't fly.
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@TheSpeakman
My sister is SO much prettier than me, imo, but there is a real resemblance.
People thought we were twins for a long time.
But now I am taller than her, and she is curvier than me, and she doesn't love dinosaurs, so we cannot be twinners any more. 😅
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I dunno. I'm tired, and probably overly whingy, but I've been presenting as a woman for nearly 3 years now, and I'm well past the point of needing a welcome committee. I've been in woman-town for a while, and I've kinda learned the streets.
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The woman who had been handing out earrings told her that I had looked hurt after she had said that. She explained to her why her phrasing was not the best My coworker told me she felt terrible, and that she had been thoughtless, and she would do better. (Paraphrasing)
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Also, you are sadly mistaken if you think calling me a mutant is any kind of insult to me.
The X-Men are my heroes, and their stories are part of the reason I had the courage to come out, even in the face of men like Rep. Barnaby.
I am a proud mutant.
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I never got to grow my hair out very long as a kid, but no one ever threatened me with a crew cut again.
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@CinnamonNote
Good question!
A transgender person is a person who does not identify as the sex they were told they were at birth. In contrast, a cisgender person is a person who identifies with the gender they were told they were at birth. It doesn't really have anything to do with sexuality.
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At my nephew's baptism in Idaho. Talking to him when the stake president (church official) comes up to congratulate my little nephew.
SP: *points to me* Who's this?
Nephew: This is Sammie! She wasn't always a girl!
Me: *thinking, oh dear*
Nephew: She used to be a dinosaur!
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Wearing my "Trans Sam" shirt.
Coworker: Are you transgendered? Happy Pride!
Me: Thank you! *rolls a 1 on my WIS check*
Me: And it's not a big deal, but "trangendered" isn't the best term. "Trans" or "transgender person" is better
Coworker: This is why nobody likes you
Me: Ah
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You might think that Godzilla: Minus One finally coming out (pun intended) on streaming on the first day of Pride is a coincidence.
You might also be wrong.
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The last time I was in Sweden, 7 years ago, I was presenting as male and using a different name. I was especially concerned seeing my cousin's son Aidan, who I had played with so many times as a kid. He has grown up to be a super-tough blacksmith, black metal drummer guy.
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I know that losing your hair can be generally unpleasant, but I think there is an argument to be made that it is especially traumatic for trans women.
I love you, finasteride!
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Me: Are they... are you good with them?
PWWAKAHCHBWICO: Still working on stuff, but I love her (didn't dare ask if that was the correct pronoun), so I gotta do better.
PWWAKAHCHBWICO: Anyway. I was hoping you'd be here. I'm sorry.
Me:
Me: Thank you. And you'll get there.
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There are 3 wonderful women who are going on maternal leave soon, and my supervisor mentioned that in our meeting. The gentleman across the table said, "We don't have to worry about that for Sam!"
I kinda died a little?
If you need me I will be in my bed, feeling vaguely gross.
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The lore about me that really matters.
(I also fell down the stairs at my Seminary graduation.
So there's that, too.)
Samantha lore, 1/2
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PWWAKAHCHBWICO: No, I was a jerk. I feel stupid.
Me: Well... thank you.
PWWAKAHCHBWICO: I have a grandkid who came out as transgendered, and I had to work through some junk.
Me: Oh! (I said "Oh" a lot.) I... that's good. It must have been hard.
PWWAKAHCHBWICO: Yeah.
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@chamberea
What an incredible capture, both for you and the octopot.
Not going to lie; for the first half of the video, I thought the "friend" you were referring to was the eel, and I thought, oh, gosh I am not enjoying her look of sheer terror.
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It's that time of the year again.
May the fourth etc. etc.
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I am so grateful for my family.
I wish with all my heart that every queer person had someone that saw them and loved them.
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And I apologize that it took me such a ridiculous amount of time to add ALT text to it, after learning that that was a thing.
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2) That same ranger hit a Daqqanoenyent with a vorpal blade on a natural 20 in our last encounter. The Daqqanoenyent failed its 37 Fort save.
The rest of the session was me eating cookies, watching folks argue over what happens when a monster that is all head gets decapitated.
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So, now some folks in the gender critical community are calling themselves "witches that refuse to burn", trying to tie themselves to actual victims of actual witch hunts. People who actually died.
Sigh.
I suppose now is as good a time as any to post this again:
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This is maybe a bit much, but honestly, I have never felt so embattled as a trans person.
But I'm not going to hide again. I am going to live my life proudly and out loud. I am here.
We are here.
We have always been here.
I wish you all a purposeful day of being visible.
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