Host of the Reid ‘em And Weep poker pod. Crusty NL reg. A fish on the Gillcast
@rotogrinders
. 2x FSWA award winner. Burrito connoisseur. Manzcoin hodler.
As a Padres fan, having Juan Soto for a year felt like hooking up with an unattainable woman
You can’t believe she’s with you, but then of course she leaves you and a year later you find she’s with some chiseled, rich Chad and they’re bout to get engaged
Things Madden players have been doing for the last decade that are now considered revolutionary in the NFL:
*Passing a ton
*Play-action a lot
*Going for it on 4th-and-short
*Moving
#1
WR around, esp into slot
*Running out of spread > heavy sets
*Making WRs and RBs interchangable
me during sex: hurt me
her: the Padres traded Anthony Rizzo for Andrew Cashner
me: wait
her: the Padres traded Corey Kluber for Ryan Ludwick
me: stop
her: Padres spent $144M on Eric Hosmer
me: wtf
her: Pads got swept in the WS when you had tix to Gm 5
me: OK TOO F'ING FAR
You don’t take away eligibility from a player mid-season. For example, Gronk has maintained his TE eligibility despite playing right tackle all year, this is no different
On Jaylen Samuels:
He's had RB/TE eligibility all season. If we remove TE eligibility today, it would not take effect until this evening, after most claims had been made. We felt it was not fair to change so late in the day or season.
Samuels will remain an RB/TE in our game.
The same people who are verrrry proud to not be afraid of a 1 in 100 chance of dying are suddenly verrrry concerned about a 1 in a 1,000,000 chance of blood clots
Things I accomplished in ‘19:
POKER
Moved up to 2/5
Won $40K
FANTASY
Won the FSWA award for best football series
Won the Fantasy Pentathlon
Won 2nd straight BARF football title
Made
#SFB9
playoffs
Played the NFBC ME for the 1st time
IRL
Became a dad to Layla Reid on Thurs ♥️
Remember how Michael Thomas *averaged* 123 receptions per year over his first 4 seasons and was the top WR in fantasy and then someone called him Slantboy on Twitter and he sprained an ankle and his career became insta-dust? The NFL is wild man.
If any other sport had a 19-year old wunderkind who came up and immediately dominated for one of the league's best teams, everyone and their mother would know about him. Commercials would be made. Jerseys would be sold.
Meanwhile only hardcore baseball fans know who Juan Soto is
When I was 19, I lived with a 4-foot bong in my closet and fell asleep drunk on San Diego beaches twice a week
At 19, Juan Soto is batting .301/.415./549 with 30 walks against 34 strikeouts against Major League pitching
Right after getting laid off (yay corporate America) and going back to poker full-time (temporarily), had my highest-ever netting month of live poker in November. Feeling blessed by the Poker Gods, the universe, and of course, the
#Manzcoin
🙏🏼
I’ve made the tough decision to cancel my trip to Vegas for the NFBC Main Event (will still be participating via online draft).
Some may call me a pussy but I request that you keep in mind that I don’t give a fuck what you think.
Def gonna miss seeing all my pals out there.
Felt straight after the 2nd vaccine shot but told my wife I was feeling bad so I could chill on the couch and play online poker all day and not do any chores. Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
With the NFL's amended schedule, we now have games tomorrow, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday.
8 of the next 10 days have NFL games.
Buckle up.
Imagine believing anyone but Ohtani was the AL ROY
He hit a ball 113.9 mph, harder than Javy Baez
He hit a ball 449 ft, farther than JD Martinez
He threw a ball 101.9 mph, harder than Max Scherzer
He ran 28.4 ft/sec, faster than Mookie Betts
What he did was rare, and special
2018 - Pittsburgh trades Martavis Bryant to Oakland for a 3rd round pick
2019 - Pittsburgh trades Antonio Brown to the Raiders for a 3rd and 5th round pick
2020 (projected) - Pittsburgh trades a tub of Hepatitis type C to Oakland for a 2nd and 4th round pick
Recently, the Cardinals have:
Allowed Mike Matheny to coach them for multiple seasons
Allowed Bud Norris to harrass Jordan Hicks
Benched Jose Martinez
Left CarMart on the mound after his velocity dropped precipitously
Traded Tommy Pham for magic beans
Read this.
Yesterday, my wife was laid off by her small-business employer and we’re losing her insurance for both her and my 10-week old daughter.
The reality is this: Our country can never be truly great until we put the health of US citizens above corporation profit margins.
While the impending economic devastation from COVID-19 is obvious, there’s a side effect that may be getting overlooked: As many get laid off, Americans are about to learn how irrational & irresponsible it is for so many to be dependent on employers for health insurance. (1/9)
Don’t even have a concrete take on student debt relief (still need to know more about how it would work) but please for the love of God get these out of touch back-in-my-day boomer tweets about how they paid off their debt “with hard work and living within their means” off my TL
“It was right there and then that Carlos Beltran decided that he would never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever allow himself to be surprised by a pitch again”
"And they said Zero RB is dead!", the man said, laughing maniacally. He submitted Austin Ekeler, Jaylen Samuels, and Spencer Ware into his Week 14 lineup for his 4-9 team and logged onto Twitter to take his victory lap
Texas bothered that Tatis swung 3-0 and smashed a granny up 6 runs. Clubhouse leader Eric Hosmer gets in his ear about it.
Did they not see the A’s come back from 5 runs down in the 9th on the Giants the other night? Can we get rid of these stupid unwritten rules?
RE: MIL -
You don't trade for Moustakas or Schoop to have them sit on the bench. Shaw has to play. So the only thing to do is Shaw 2B, Schoop SS, Moose 3B, which is basically how I'd build an MLB The Show team
MIL going all RP + bats, screw SP and defense.
LEROOOYYYY JENKINS
@SammyReidFI
Counterpoints:
Catchers are obscenely bad at hitting too (except 3 of them). Should we have 2 DHs?
Shortstops were terrible for a while. Should they have a DH?
Basically what is the line for terrible that necessitates a DH?
If owners make more money and pay their employees the same during good times, they should make less money and pay their employees the same during bad times
The Mookie Betts situation is so sad.
He should be a life long Red Sox player and hall of famer.
He could have his number retired with the Red Sox.
Instead the Sox want to cry poor and not pay him what he’s worth, even tho they are rich af.
It’s genuinely a shame.
My whole TL laughing about this - but this shit isn’t funny.
This man poses no threat to anyone, and some peaked-in-high-school uniform sees the opportunity to physically assault him without repercussion - and takes it. Happens every day in our country.
Her: Let’s spend the rest of our lives together
Me: I’d like that
Her: Let’s spend our life savings on this house
Me: Let’s do it
Her: Let’s bring a child into this world
Me: I’m down
Her: Let’s turn our read receipts on for each other
Me: You’re out of your goddamn mind
The thing about the MLB labor dispute is that it’s a microcosm of what’s happening all over our country: Stagnant wages while profits for those at the top rise; this just has more zeros
Siding w owners is Stockholm Syndrome. Ya been brainwashed to believe you don’t deserve more
There are currently 6 qualified major leaguers who are batting .300+/.400+/.500+:
Cody Bellinger
Anthony Rendon
Christian Yelich
Austin Meadows
Jorge Polanco
Juan Soto
Been on Twitter for like 5 mins today and seen George Floyd be murdered in cold blood by the police and the callous greed of MLB owners threatening to sink the baseball season. Plus the normal shit like the incels who think freedom = not wearing a mask. Fuck this, I’m logging off
Us celebrating people cashing multiple beers in a matter of seconds while thousands toil in prison for marijuana charges will be one of the true WTF moments for future generations
I finished Tiger King. Honestly don’t get why it’s such a thing; Obv we like to watch ridiculousness that you couldn’t even make up, but these are all horrible people. To me there’s no protagonist to rooting for, certainly not polygamist cradle-robbing animal abusing Joe Exotic
Imagine tweeting about how you willingly deprive yourself of experiencing awesome things like The Masters or GoT, and thinking doing so makes you cool and special
ATTN: FRIENDS OF
@YancyEaton
He and his fam evacuated from Ft Myers and are safe and well. A lot of people have tried to reach out and he has barely any cell reception so can’t respond. But he wanted me to let everyone know he’s ok ✌🏼✌🏼
Colin Kaepernick brought awareness to racial injustice on a massive scale, spent the past couple years doing charity work, donated $1M+ to help people, doesn’t have to risk CTE, and is set $-wise for life
Btw he also has a higher career passer rating and more YPC than Cam Newton
People who poo-poo on fantasy awards should just keep their grinchiness to themselves - no one cares that you don’t care
The reality is that there’s so much good work out there done by ppl who mostly don’t get paid a lot to do it, and getting recognition can make it all worth it
Our president lied to us about COVID-19, which is killing masses of people who followed his “it’s just a flu” advice
Our healthcare is tied to employment and everyone’s getting laid off
Our only choice for next president is between two sexual assaulters
This isn’t April Fools.
He did his job unconventionally and he ran his mouth constantly, but never actually accomplished anything. Future generations won’t understand how crazy, fun, and frankly bizarre it was to see him do his job on a daily basis. Dadgum it we’re gonna miss you, Phil Rivers.
Me when I’m hoping a player makes it to me in the draft: “Plzplzplzplzplzplzplzplzplzzzzzz make it to me!!!”
Me when he finally makes it: “Hmmm but if I take someone else here, maybe he’ll make it back to me next round”