Y A N T S
@YancyEaton
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5,949
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#2024MAMAVOTE
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Liz Cheney
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Mazón
• 365047 Tweets
Christmas
• 208990 Tweets
#ゴジラマイナスワン
• 206949 Tweets
RIP SALRAAN KHAN
• 110097 Tweets
Nodal
• 109252 Tweets
Godzilla
• 101595 Tweets
#الهلال_النصر
• 96921 Tweets
Zomvivor 1st Look
• 58608 Tweets
Marlaska
• 57044 Tweets
MINQ BEACH DATE
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taemin
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Noroña
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Alito
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山崎監督
• 32860 Tweets
Thanksgiving
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فوز الهلال
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للهلال
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Hugh Hewitt
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Nuketown
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Warhawk
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فوز النصر
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レ・ダウ
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マイゴジ
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Nuria Montes
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القحطاني
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ゴジマイ
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Drudge
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للنصر
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I don't recognize any of these Orioles players. Where the Hell is Jonathan Schoop?
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Me trying to be happy Major League Baseball is back but knowing damn sure this ain’t gonna end well
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None of my irl friends watch baseball and when I asked them why they told me the bases were too small for them to take the sport seriously.
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We used to be a proper country
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@ando24_nick
Thank you for giving me the permission to believe whatever I want — which includes me believing that you’re a bad person. People do not choose to be gay, but you did choose to drive intoxicated and assault someone with a baseball bat.
Look inward.
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Regardless of you being a democrat, republican, whatever… do you really want whatever the Hell this is for your college commencement?
Shouldn’t it be an inspiring/motivational/forward-thinking speech that makes you excited to go out into the world?
This is drunk uncle shit.
Super Bowl Champ Harrison Butker rips Biden during a commencement speech: “Our own nation is led by a man who proudly proclaims his Catholic faith, but at the same time is delusional enough to make the sign of the cross during a pro-abortion rally.”
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This is a human being with a family.
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Tired: Cancelling MLB TV
Wired: Streaming all games illegally for free
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Cancelling your MLB TV subscription knowing you’re going to resubscribe in a month when the owners announce a 100 game season
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There’s a legitimate case to be made that Ohtani is the best baseball player in the world.
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What’s an album from your teenage years that you’ll keep listening to until the day you die?
I’ll start.
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My sister found out this morning that she has COVID-19. She’s been unbelievably sick and is genuinely terrified.
Please wear a mask when you’re out in public. Even if you think you’ll be fine, please find it in you to mildly inconvenience yourself so that others don’t get sick.
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Save me the “Rays got great prospects back” talk. We already have the best farm system in baseball. Blake Snell was my favorite player. And we traded him after making it to the World Series.
This sucks and I don’t care who we got back. This gets so old.
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@MLBTV
Dear social media intern,
Please tell your bosses we think they suck and we hate them. I hope you have a wonderful day, though.
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The microbrewery IPA names have gone too far
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Me: Fantasy baseball is the greatest thing on earth, worthy of countless hours of my time and what I base most of my online identity around.
*player I roster gets hurt*
YO THIS IS SO DUMB WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF
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It doesn't matter how many fantasy baseball drafts I've done in my life - I still get excited every single time I start a new one.
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Maybe his wife just isn’t into it
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Gunnar, Grayson, Colton, Heston, Chayce, Keegan, Corbin, Kaleb… the Orioles roster is basically this meme.
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How can you tell if someone plays HIGH STAKES FANTASY SPORTS?
Don’t worry - They’ll tell you!
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The Venn diagram of the people taking the side of the MLB owners and the dudes who only drink Monster energy drinks and volunteered as sheriff’s explorers as kids is just one big circle.
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Been a tough ass year but my team is going to the World Series. My heart is full. I love this team.
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Does anyone else find it at least a little suspicious that it’s almost always the home team getting a walk-off win?
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This is literally my wife. My nerd ass married her and she’s stayed with me for 10 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#blessed
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Some personal news...
My wife and I have been married for 10 years and have given this marriage all we had. I feel like it wouldn’t be right to not tell everyone on here that we are STILL GOING STRONG AND THAT FIRE STAYS LIT.
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As of tonight, I am officially a Pitcher List contributor. Felt good, man.
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MLB free agency has been open for 3 hours and NOTHING. I’m beginning to think that all 30 teams are colluding to hide their collusion and won’t announce moves already made in secret weeks ago until tomorrow.
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Despite living in 2 different countries & coming from 2 different generations, he’s been 1 of my very best friends for the last 10+ years. We’ve recorded hundreds of episodes across 2 different podcasts & have always stayed close.
I finally met
@cmcbrien
in person today, ya’ll.
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Yeah Sex is great but have you ever swapped in Eloy Jimenez for Charlie Culbertson in an AL-only league?
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Seems a little drastic but sure
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Today marks 10 years of marriage with my green-eyed French bride
@maleekuh
. This incredible lover is my absolute Queen & is the sharpest & most fiercely loyal woman to ever grace this 🌎
She has 1 ask - Reply w/ your dankest/funniest memes so that we can laugh at them together.
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Me: I've got a draft tonight.
My wife: "Is this one of the slow ones that takes forever, or the super clicky, slam your mouse and yell SHIT and DAMMIT drafts?"
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Why draft Corbin Burnes in the late first/early second round when you can just draft Patrick Corbin 48 rounds later?
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@ando24_nick
One day your kids’ kids will be combing through some digital archive and see that Grandpoppa Nick was close-minded and bigoted. Tough break.
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9 years of marriage to this babe today. Still doesn't seem real. She's way better looking, much smarter, & way more savage. Zero effs given. She forgives quickly & loves all the same swear words as me. My only advice is to marry your best friend.
@maleekuh
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I’m young, healthy and have 0 major pre-existing conditions that deem people high-risk if subjected to COVID.
And yet, I would be forever DESTROYED emotionally & would literally die of shame & a broken heart if my carelessness somehow caused a stranger to contract COVID & die.
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I’ve had the same best friend since we were both 11 years old. 20+ years.
Today I got to meet his + his wife’s adopted son Matthew for the very 1st time. The path to parenthood has been difficult for them.
IDK how to express how I feel other than to say my ❤️ is so, so full.
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I'm on the phone with my wife and she says, "Some hot guy just walked by my office."
We work together. From home. It was me. I'm the hot guy. 🥰
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Hey y’all. Doing OK & family is safe/dry/fed. No power, v poor cell service, & we’re on boil water notice & mandatory curfew. We have food/water. Minimal damage to my home but surrounded by destruction. Fort Myers did not fare well. It’ll take years to rebuild.
Tty all soon.
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IDEA:
If an owner in a slow draft times out, he doesn’t automatically get the best player available by ADP. He gets the player 50 picks down. I’m so tired of delinquent owners being gifted the screaming values time and time again.
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I spend a lot of time on fantasy baseball. It’s the perfect hobby & the best way I’ve found outside of music to distract myself from an absolutely brutal reality.
I’m soothed by the consistency & reliability that baseball provides in being absolutely unpredictable & surprising.
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Reading "sleeper" articles and it's guys like Wyatt Langford and Bailey Ober 🥲
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I think Wyatt Langford is a good sleeper to target. Thank me later.
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I love this fantasy baseball community so much. Thank you for everyone that reached out to me today. I’m a nervous wreck but you’ve filled my heart. I’ll never forget this.
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Hot take: BBQ Sauce can do everything ketchup can only better
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Today feels like as good a time as any to announce my newest project:
💎The Pitcher’s List💎
My new site will be the home to all things fantasy and real life baseball with GIFs, articles, podcasts-everything you need to win your fantasy league. Thanks for the support
#blessed
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If you look up baseball players by using FanGraphs’ search box on the actual website as opposed to just typing in the players name with a “fang” after it into Google, you’re a cop.
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@ando24_nick
What do you think Pride month is for, Nicky? You can’t say “I don’t look down on you” while simultaneously saying “you shouldn’t feel proud about who you are.” Someone you know is gay and is afraid to be who they see because of the words of people like you.
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Blake Snell has slid into my DMs multiple times over the years and shouted me out by name on his twitch stream for supporting him.
I’m not acting like we’re best buddies or anything and yeah this is dorky as Hell, but he was my all-time favorite Ray and I hate that he’s gone.
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Now is not the time to be political about gun control. This isn’t a gun issue, it’s a mental health issue. What about all the gun violence in Chicago? Gun control doesn’t work because the bad guys will always find a way.
If you identify with any of these, unfollow me forever.
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“I don’t look at the standings in my fantasy baseball leagues until May.”
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I need to vent.
Your favorite team’s billionaire owner spending piles of $ on elite free agents like a Pujols or Miggy & the contract turning into an albatross on the back-end isn’t close to as bad as rooting for a team that never spends in free agency & lets pending FA walk.
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Saying that Jose Martinez is now free in Tampa Bay suggests to me that you never understood Tampa Bay at all.
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Some of y’all are too precious with your following-to-follower ratio. If someone interacts with you and supports what you’re doing, just follow them back. No one loses.
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I’m that guy meticulously grinding waivers on a Sunday for 6th place fantasy baseball teams with absolutely no shot at cashing.
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Pro Tip before you all starting posting your fantasy baseball bold predictions…
Always break your predictions up into 1 take per tweet. That way, you only have to get 1 thing right in order to take a ‘Self-Quote-Tweet Victory Lap’ later.
Have fun, and as always, stay petty.
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This is why I told everyone not to draft Zach Plesac. I knew he had a history of aggressively taking his shirt off and that’s why I wouldn’t take him even if he fell to the 69th round.
How did it happen? Tito said Plesac was "rather aggressively ripping off his shirt" and got it caught on a chair at his locker.
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Contemplating starting a change dot org petition demanding that when an owner times out in a draft, they don't get rewarded with the best player available by ADP, but instead get a random player outside the top 300.
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I know the old phrase that “no one cares about your fantasy team” is a thing, but I LOVE hearing about other people’s fantasy teams and the thought processes involved with how they drafted them. I could listen to that type of talk all day, every day.
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Finally met
@jasoncollette
IRL today. One of my first internet friends. Yes, he is very tall and yes, the sun was brutal. Also, we have no affiliation with that van.
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Can Aubrey Huff volunteer as tribute
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My wife: “Tell all your little boyfriends good night.”
Night, guys. 😂
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Fandom is inherently stupid. All these teams are just profit vehicles and wish fulfillment projects for billionaires e we go do not give a damn about any of you.
Rooting for a team is like rooting for Buffalo Wild Wings or Home Depot.
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I’ve never smoked weed, but if I did, I’d definitely buy it from 2001 Ichiro.
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Baseball fans trying to figure out how to blame Manfred for Ohtani losing
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The masculine energy to tweet the same fantasy football question to 19 different analysts
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An interesting phenomenon in the fantasy baseball world is the rise of competitors who don’t want to give up any of their edge/process but still want attention — so they go on podcasts & offer nothing but surface level and narrative-based analysis while speaking in generalities.
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"At this point if we don't get a deal today it's 100% on the players."
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Shoutout to the homeys who wait until the very moment they’re on the clock in a slow draft for their first draft of the year to begin their fantasy baseball research.
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Would anyone be interested in me doing a weekly Sunday night livestream where I work on adding free agents & setting lineups for my fantasy teams?
I wouldn’t give analysis or even talk at all but rather, I’d stare blankly at my monitor for 4 hours while second-guessing myself.
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Told my wife
@TGFBI
starts tomorrow. Her response:
“I’m so excited to ask if you’ve made a pick yet only for you to tell me no and that someone took forever to pick and that they said ‘sorry I actually have a job’ in the chat & for you to say YEAH WE ALL HAVE JOBS.”
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I’m seriously about to mute every baseball word I can think of. This shit is so dumb and we are all so dumb for caring so much.
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I don’t know who needs to hear this, but one of these pics is an “estuary” and the other is Oakland A’s outfielder Esteury Ruiz. They’re not pronounced the same.
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I am so wired idk if I’ll ever sleep again. This is one of the greatest sports moments of my life.
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Remember when Pitcher List Nick Pollack said he liked his pancakes raw and he was still allowed to keep his twitter and website?
I feel like we’ve cancelled people for much less.
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🚨Major life news🚨
My wife & I have been considering a new addition to our family for years but the timing never felt right. We finally realized there will never be a truly perfect time so we went ahead & just did it.
I feel so
#blessed
to say we bought a new set of sheets!
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To those saying the new Guardians logo sucks, I would like to direct you to the old Chief Wahoo one
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Fantasy baseball thought
It’s actually okay to have little moments of joy throughout the baseball season. It’s not in bad taste or being a poor sport or taking victory laps to just be happy that your team is doing well or that your player had a great game.
This should be fun.
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She’ll never see this because she’s not on twitter and is too busy being a total badass to care, but my Mom has been making triple-layered, re-washable face masks for weeks & giving them away for free to absolutely anyone that needs them. She is the most selfless person I know.❤️
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Guardians is a lit ass team name and I like how it’s not racist.
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