SO2 portaloos - a staff officers story!
@SO2portaloos
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Just a really ally military guy, trying to make sure the lads and lasses can crap somewhere.
Joined May 2009
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Pinned Tweet
If you’re in the military and haven’t watched “Downfall: the case against Boeing”, you should
There are striking parallels. Phrases like “we kept being expected to do more with less” and “you can’t stop, you can’t slow down” resonate hard.
Look where that got them.
A thread
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Armed forces day! When the country shows their appreciation for the armed forces by…….. making them work at the weekend!! Can we not do it on a Monday or something?!
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I don’t really want to get too drawn in to the argument, but….
If you’re going to make people wear a suit, chinos, collar, whatever, then surely the standard of food being served should match the demanded attire 🤔
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Almost no-one will see an improvement in their offer.
Even if you do, it’s a communist policy where mil housing is an extension of the welfare state. It’s a pay reduction for one to increase the pay of another.
Concentrate on the real injustice: overall standard (incl SLA) 🧵
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Someone told me today that not all heroes wear capes. Well, here’s a thread on what we’d look like if we did…..
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The British army has a saying.
You may find it helpful.
When something sucks, they look at each other and say:
“I’d quit if I wasn’t pension trapped.”
Navy SEALs have a saying.
You may find it helpful.
When something sucks, they look at each other and say:
"FULL BENEFIT"
It’s an instant mindset shift.
• Hiking and it starts pouring rain?
• Driving and your car breaks down?
• Working on a project and lost a draft?
FULL
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As requested
#miltwitter
here’s my LL’s as a staff officer.
1. Probably most important; you’re still a leader. Doesn’t really matter what the current OJAR direction is. There’s always someone who will look up to you. So turn up on time, ironed, shaven, etc. Stay fit and robust!
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Errrrm what?! I don’t think I’ve ever felt as supported by the British public as when I was in Afghan.
The postal system literally broke because people kept sending packages to “a soldier”.
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Staying in a hotel room and went to use the complimentary notepad.
This was on page 2! 😬
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Beards sorted ✅
Can we start on getting rid of Pay as You Dine now??
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If you say “over” on Skype conferences how do you look your children in the eye?!
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This is possibly the worst military thing I’ve seen since the video of the full screw trying to close down a vaccination centre in Wales. 2 days ago. Cringe level is high this week.
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Lots of negativity flying around regarding life in the army at the minute. Here’s a thread on some of the more positive aspects of military life.
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I’ve worked with a number of toxic leaders over the years. The worst ones all seem to have similar traits. They’re all loud, think they’re “one of the lads” and that they’re completely relatable. 100% of the time they have no idea that their team hate being around them. 🤔
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If Ukraine have 80,000 soldiers on the border who have been fighting state on state conflict for 7 years now, are we really qualified to be mentoring them?
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I want the next bond to be more realistic.
Driving around in a white fleet issued Peugeot 106 with Trimble fitted.
Fighting with JPA/the budget manager about his latest subsistence claim.
Struggling with report writing.
It would be amazing
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Had my MPAR recently. Was told by my 1RO I “have no potential” because he knows I intend on leaving the military, and can therefore expect to be in the bottom third despite being busier than 80% of the SO2s he reports on (spoiler alert; I don’t just book portaloos). Is this fair?
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Woke has nothing to do with it. Poor management. Cuts. Reduced offer. Over worked. Better offer elsewhere. This is why we’re now starting to see the results of a manning crisis that began in 2010. It’s not just recruiting, retention is probably the bigger problem.
To say “The military recruitment crisis is becoming critical” would be a very British understatement. It is affecting organisational structure and strategy.
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I hope I never make anyone feel the way my boss leaves me feeling pretty much every time I speak to him. I know I’m not alone also.
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Thanks to the integrated review, no-ones getting promoted. May as well cut all the thrusting out and start skiving. To help get you through the many years of stagging on as a Maj/Capt/Ssgt/WO2, here’s a thread on some useful nuggets I’ve picked up over the years.
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Thoughts and prayers with those individuals who fought to get on parade to get a medal
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Pay as you dine
Housing
Recruitment
Retention
Budget black hole(s)
Procurement
Mental health crisis
I know it’s frustrating banging the same drum(s), but please can we avoid making up problems. We got beards. We got a medal. Let’s concentrate on the real stuff now.
Uniforms change. After just over 100 years of the Beret, is it time to leave it to just No2’s only and bring in the Cap for working dress / PCS?
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This isn’t a ORs Vs OFs thing. This is just a “degradation of the offer” thing. For everyone.
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This person prob went straight from work to cadets then decided to do some shopping on way home. Dom decided to post a pic without her permission & encourage people to rip her apart (despite not actually doing anything wrong)🤦♂️ if you’re in the comments, have a word with yourself
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🤔 it’s almost like what has been said by it’s own members for the last 15 years. I wonder if anything will finally change now
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Hey Siri, show me someone who has sold their soul
"I think you have to be very careful using the word enemy"
Chief of the Defence Staff General Sir Nick Carter says "we have to be patient" and says the Taliban "want an Afghanistan that is inclusive for all"
#KayBurley
Read the latest here:
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Thread alert!
The army won’t fix itself until we start interviewing for jobs. Every job. Right now, your worth for your next job is based on your performance in the last job which can be entirely unrelated. We don’t (or shouldn’t) Plan the next war based off of the last do we?
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I admit, I am emotionally engaged in this case study - I had friends on one of those planes. But the lessons to be learned from endemic toxicity at the higher echelons is striking to me.
To clarify, this is not a problem with the mid-low level management.
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The military has a fundamental issue with the definitional complexity of the words “can” and “cannot.” Eg:
Family needs supporting in a way not done before: “we cannot do that”
Unit gets told to embark on a task it’s not resourced or trained to do: “we absolutely can do that”
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I reckon a very significant amount of tension and arguments have been caused in my marriage over the years simply by various chains of command being unable to make a decision or give direction regarding domestic considerations (posting timelines etc).
Am I the only one?
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Built a pretty sweet den with my 9yo and now I’m fighting the urge to go off grid
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Potential controversial question: if a man says “I’m a single dad right now so need to leave work early to pick my kid up from school” and receives the response of “FFS how long is this gonna go on for” from his 2RO, should he be as outraged as a woman might (justifiably) be?
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Here’s some other quotes from their staff.
“Boeing quit listening to their employees. They would attack the messenger and ignore the message”
“You do not bring bad news to the boss”
“CEOs demanded that managers hit their mark and don’t care how they do that”
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Some amazing stuff on show today. I hope there are 8 sets of parents who witnessed their offspring carry Her Majesty and are now about ready to explode with pride. Well done gentleman.
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What a stupid question. Off the top of my head I have no idea either 🤷
I can’t remember a time when the media has been so poor.
#KayBurley
- There's been a lot of criticism that you got your job because it's a job for the boys, as opposed to knowing anything about the Ministry of Defence... do you know how many ranks there are in the army?
Grant Shapps - Not off the top of my head...
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DIO are a truly terrible organisation aren’t they. For all our differences, I think on this we can agree.
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For the love of god, please direct your energy at overall improvement of our accommodation. We need to take back control of our houses from inadequate contractors who make money off our misery rather than support nonsense Robin Hood policies (even though that’s not what this is)
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I’m blessed in that the Army has allowed me to see a lot of the world and I can say categorically, hands down, without a doubt, THERE IS NOWHERE ON THIS PLANET THAT DOES AS GOOD CRISPS AS THE UK!
This is the hill that I will die on.
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JRs with multiple kids should be given an appropriate sized house. Anyone who disagrees with this needs to get in the sea.
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Need some money for experimentation.
Problem statement: “something something agile. Something something integrated. Something something multi-domain. Ajiffniff, pentaphibian, focussed”
The solution:
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At the tender age of 38 you start to think that certain things are beyond you...
Then your 5 year old son gets you a skateboard for Christmas and you imagine the rage it’s going to induce when senior officers see a Major cutting about camp on it singing Huey Lewis and the news!
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Excited about the coronation. Got me thinking about my personal experience of Charles. He probably doesn’t remember as it was such a trivial encounter. It was summer 07 and he was doing a medals parade. When he got to me he said “f*cking hell mate, you’ve got more bling than MrT”
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Why is there only one option for signing off (12 months notice). Surely multiple options (6months, 1yr, 2yr and even 3yr) would allow APC to better manage its manpower and support the service person in transitioning to civvy life?
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Alright, here we go then. You asked and I shall deliver.
HOW TO MAKE THE TASTIEST OF TASTY BURGERS. A THREAD
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Superb restraint shown by these soldiers
Leadership.
Just a little bit ago, this video popped on my feed. It shows a man hurling racist insults and other comments towards a group of U.S. Army Soldiers, presumably somewhere in Poland.
Short 🧵/1
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I continue to learn how little the general public know about their armed forces and how comical that is 😂
@Mr_Andrew_Fox
Hi Andrew, are you confirming that the 99% of our serving forces are not trained how to escape an hostage situation. As a member of the public I find this quite worrying At what point in the service would you be trained to escape the enemy. He fled cos he saw the opportunity.
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The 737 max was only in the sky because they’d needed to get something out there on the cheap that required little to no additional training for crews. They basically just put a more fuel efficient engine on an outdated platform. Sound familiar?
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You want to protest a nations human rights/equality record you do it by not showing up. Don’t turn up at a tournament, take the revenue/wages and then get upset because you can’t wear your armband which the very people who it’s aimed at will see little to no reporting of
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I can’t remember a time in my life when the current situation regarding Russia wouldn’t have been the only thing on the news. But it seems to be a mid table story right now. Does the average member of the public realise that things are rather serious?
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We need to get rid of JSP culture. The JSPs support standard, simple circumstances. When you really need the army’s assistance/support the JSP is almost always interpreted not in favour of the SP.
F**k the policy out of the window and do what’s right for the individual. Always.
What would you end?
why not end JPA audit below certain amount of cash - trust people enough that they're not going to commit fraud for an 80p chocolate bar.
It costs more to audit than is reclaimed and does huge damage to goodwill of personnel made to feel they are criminals.
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“They don’t want anything documented so they can maintain culpable deniability”
From one of their victims: “They never reached out to us directly. It communicates their lack of remorse, their lack of accountability”
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Monday morning is going to be uncomfortable for this lady’s husband!
“The problem is the bloody guns. I’m only here because my husband is in the military. Otherwise I would not have chosen to come to this country.”
Outraged mother at Richneck Elementary School in Virginia after a 6-year-old shot a teacher
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Here’s some more quotes:
“They were re-engining a 45 year old frame”
“They had a culture of concealment”
“Boeing were all about how can we keep the aircraft flying”
“It was the corporate culture. The greed”
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I can’t think of a person less suited to politics
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If the public are enraged by the Downing Street parties last Christmas, they’d absolutely shit the bed if they knew what the military was getting up to!!!!
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“You’re never here, when you are you’re stressed. The pays not great. And our house is getting smaller - we’ve got nowhere to put our stuff. Can we do better if we leave.” At that point, WO2 smith is going to take his army funded qualifications and jump over to civvy street.
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If you’re a junior soldier/officer you need to read this now.
🧵
1/
#OnThisDay
in 2013, a Special Forces selection test in the Brecon Beacons is on the point of turning into a disaster. In unusually hot and still conditions, one candidate has just been medically withdrawn having experienced diarrhoea and vomiting
To be continued ...
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Anyone else remember when we had to put “RELEASE AUTHORISED;” in the subject line of an email if it was going to a civvy email address?
What was that all about?
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Ben Wallace wants Zelensky to show more gratitude as Ukrainians die on the battlefield so Brits don’t/won’t have to.
Yeah but make sure to say thankyou next time a shipment of Javelins arrive.
Bad take in my opinion.
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At least Boeing had a need to satisfy share holders, and profit margins to hide behind. The only thing driving us to cut corners is self-gratitude, delusions of grandeur or sheer incompetence
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The
@BBC
needs to make a formal apology and retraction of this nonsense. It’s reputationally damaging to the armed forces, impacts recruitment and retention and undermines a lot of hard work done by the military and people like
@JohnnyMercerUK
This lad got booted on a CDT 3 months in and he’s now on national TV saying he got medical discharge. Claims it was scripted for him…
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Pro tip: if you open up a PowerPoint presentation and set it to present (full screen), your laptop won’t go in to standby mode therefore setting your Skype status to “away” or “offline.”
This allows you to head to the sofa and eat last nights pizza while watching mandalorian!
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"I remind you that the Russian army isn't fighting in its entirety... Only the professional army is fighting." - Putin.
Watch out Ukraine, they’re about to deploy their unprofessional army!
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Why does Jeremy Hunt always look like a 2Lt who’s just wet his pants at a dinner night just before the CO walks in and is desperately hoping he’s going to get away with it?!
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4. Remember, there is a soldier at the end of everything that you’re doing, and if you genuinely believe that there isn’t, question the point of why you’re doing it and question it loudly. Also remember, there is almost always a family behind that soldier.
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“They were betting that the problem would not occur before a permanent fix could be implemented”
“It was corrupted from the top down by pressures from Wall Street”
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Horrendous to see India so desperately in need of oxygen while these lot are shamefully stealing it
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Substantial army funded training and went and worked in the city. They now live in a lovely 4 bed house despite only having 1 child - because that’s appropriate for someone of his capabilities and responsibilities. No-one begrudges him this (apart from the “eat the rich” types)
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Mrs hartlington-Stanley-Smyth correctly pointed out to Brig HSS that having the responsibility of a CEO in civvy street, for half the pay, twice the hours and now a dilapidated 2 bed terrace is probably not worth it. So at the rank of Capt/Maj he took his masters degree and
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She’s right. But she could have said “tanks are critical.”
At
#IAV2024
the Deputy Chief of the General Staff, Lt Gen Dame Sharon Nesmith said that “never has there been a more important time to reflect on the centrality of armoured capability, within an integrated force, as we face such globally uncertain times”. 1/2
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Breaking news: Trevor Coult is heading in to two weeks of isolation. Not mourning. He needs to concentrate on learning the new lyrics of the national anthem
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I was 17 on 9/11. I’d just finished football trg & was waiting for a bus when a lad that I went to college with pulled up in his Ford sierra rolled the windows down and shouted “the Japanese have just kamikaze’d the Empire State Building. It’s WW3.” Then drove off. Fog of war.
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And finally, the dude who sorts the shitters out. You can tell from the eyes, he’s seen stuff
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Are you even a dad if you don’t say “wow, the living room looks bigger” after the Christmas tree is taken down?!
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The military places more importance on people who can do miserable jobs rather than people who can do difficult jobs. They’re not the same thing.
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Watch out Ukraine. The Belarusian cheerleading squad is coming for you
Quite a bit about the Belarusian army. Just be careful not to wake the neighbors 🤫
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I looked on JPA at how much I was paid as a 2Lt this week. No wonder booze is so cheap in the mess.
#prayforthesubbies
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He’s going to get paid (prob) similar, but work 1/2 the hrs. He’s going to live in a 3-4 bed house that’s not mouldy despite only having 1 child at home. No-one will begrudge him that because it’s appropriate for someone of his skill set and responsibility/where he is at in life
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So, if I am hearing this correctly, what you are actually saying is that WE were the problem? Is that correct? Am I reading this right?
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@craigallen_25
@DominicFarrell
Take a breather buddy. She’s a volunteer. You can’t tell from this picture that she’s overweight. Why shouldn’t she shop in uniform? And she’s indoors so no requirement for head dress.
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Fair enough! Oh wait, no. The new policy gives him a nice big house when his kids are young. As he works hard and moves through the ranks, his house is going to get smaller as his kids leave home. How do you think Mrs Smith is going to take that?! Where’s all their stuff go?
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Gonna take a break from twitter for a while. Lots to going on and lots to process at the minute. It’s become too tempting to just endlessly scroll through my timeline. Stay safe everyone
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The thing that strikes me about all the footage from Ukraine is how similar the urban environment is to Copehill Down on Salisbury plain.
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@razaydotcom
@DominicFarrell
Since she’s a cadet instructor and therefore gives her time freely for the benefit and development of others, I doubt she needs to. Although I doubt she’ll want to continue to do so given the abuse she’s received because someone decided to post her photo for SM outrage likes
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To put it another way, yes we absolutely need to give JRs appropriately sized, well maintained housing. The new policy will improve the situation for a tiny fraction of our community. But even they suffer longer term.
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Finally, the “bigger OF” houses are not maintained any better than the OR houses. The mould, damp, collapsing roof’s etc are all still prevalent. I’ve seen a Colonel living in a house that was partially collapsed and a Brigadiers daughter who had chronic asthma from mould
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We are bottoming out our management level; we will not be able to keep our best. Our current middle to senior management will jump ship quick and the current JRs who should take their place will see a lack of improvement for their hard work and leave early.
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@skjones505
@DefenceHQ
Really, you’ve seen it all have you Steve? So an organisation establishing a formal ability to allow women to return to work and continue breastfeeding is that outrageous that you’ve “seen it all”. Do you also think that women shouldn’t be in the military?
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We haven’t even looked at how this affects the SLA model. The logic used to push this through strongly suggests that there should be no divide between officers and soldiers in single accommodation. Bye bye Officers Mess, WO/Sgts Mess and Cpls clubs.
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No! We need experts in every job with the attitude and enthusiasm required to make that job a success. Contract mgrs need contract experts. Capability needs capability experts. Not some dude who’s just finished SUC and needs a “crunchy” SG2 to keep his career progression going
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Ok then
#miltwitter
. Here it is. THE thread on airships. I genuinely believe that this has the POTENTIAL to change how we conduct modern warfare.
Strap yourselves in and prepare to have your mind blown.....
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Note to self; British humour often doesn’t travel well! Particularly to America
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The replies 😂 oh my god the replies!!!!!
This whole saga demonstrates just how little the wider media and general public know about the Armed Forces.
This guy would have had no training in any of those things. And, in all honesty, neither would 99% of people who’ve worn uniform.
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I personally feel like the support that we (UK military) offer to individuals suffering from mental health issues is good compared to our allies. However, an initiative I heard from a Norwegian friend caught my interest.
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Individuals returning from deployment are given similar support to us. The difference is, they offer an enduring commitment by funding regular reunion events for the unit/group on that tour. He still regularly meets with individuals he deployed with from 20 years ago, MOD funded.
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Why is this being reported on like it’s a bad thing?
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