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Rutambi

@Rutambii

Followers
40,403
Following
6,209
Media
3,353
Statuses
57,735

satirist. currently squeezing lemonade out of the lemons God so graciously offered to me for free. facts over opinions. always try to speak the truth.

Village Hidden in the Leaf
Joined September 2014
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
2 months
Finding God is my biggest highlight of 2024. After several years of tweeting this year will be my year.... This one actually did become my year.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
**How I met Mwiza** I was going on my evening run 2 years ago when I passed by a girl. she was also doing her evening work out. As everyone should, I gave her a thumbs up and said "esprit", to which she gave me a thumbs as well and said............
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
5 years
Guseka innyo y'undi nawe iyawe irangaye wallahi😂
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
@FootyHumour we should see more of this
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
2 years
HOW TO SURVIVE IN KIGALI 1. Have money 2. Know people that have money and connections 3. Understand that no one gives a shit about your mental health. NO ONE 4. Fall in love at your own risk. 5. Nta myaka ijana. live dangarously nubundi gukira biragoye 6. Take number 4 seriously
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
If you aren't ready to accept negative criticism. You shouldn't post personal stuff on social media. No one is here to be your therapist. You can't expect everyone to see things the way you do. What you call pain, those who can't relate or faced worse will call you a crybaby.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
2 years
UPDATE: I finally met Mwiza. We are getting married today.
@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
**How I met Mwiza** I was going on my evening run 2 years ago when I passed by a girl. she was also doing her evening work out. As everyone should, I gave her a thumbs up and said "esprit", to which she gave me a thumbs as well and said............
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
What we saw Vs. what Bamporiki saw
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
1 year
Does your lecturer know that a Mac is also a PC? What are you learning?
@germanlang25
German Language School 🇩🇪🇷🇼
1 year
First day at campus Degree: Bancelor of science with honours in Marketing😂❤️
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
How would you describe Rwandans? Me:
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
Umunsi mwiza kubashomeri mwese. Umunsi umwe bizacamo tu.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
Dear @Bamporikie , I just read in the news about your plans to stop/ban art and or music that promote fornication tendencies and as a concerned citizen would like to tell you this. The problem is not the songs, I can't stress this enough how songs don't even ....
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
Ejo nahaye umukozi wacu 1000, ambaza icyo mutumye mpita mubwira nti ni ayawe. ukuntu yishimye>>> In the spirit of appreciation, ku bantu mufite abakozi bo murugo, uwasagura ayo 500 cg icyo 1000 akimuhe yigurire aka Me2U cg agafanta It's not much but it will lift their spirits up
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
strengthen your skills man. the ideology ko ntaho wabona akazi keza ntamuntu ukuzi ngo agusunike is dumb and dangerous. You'll be surprised by how competitive the job market is and how transparent many companies are. Only the skilled triumph in the end.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
2 years
Hi @Rwandapolice I have never tested alcohol my whole life. And neither does my friend. Surprisingly, you guys jailed him for drinking an energy drink. Either your devices don't work, or you are using this to extort money from people. Do something about it.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
I run over to the boutique but there was no sign of the phone. I cried for the whole night. I've been running on that street for years with hopes of seeing her again. Dear Mwiza, if you can see this, Please know that I didn't stand you up and I am looking forward to that dinner.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
HOORAY ..IT'S MY BIRTHDAY 🎂🎈🥳🎂🎉 . . . MY MOMO WORKS.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
2 years
Y’all remember this?😂😂😂😂😂
@Rutambii
Rutambi
5 years
Guseka innyo y'undi nawe iyawe irangaye wallahi😂
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
1 year
Abajura natwe badusuye nubwo banyuze ahatemewe. Twasangiye ibyo dutunze
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
2 years
My ma has officially retired. Been a nurse since 1996. I wanna say happy retirement but now she has all the time in the world to ask me why I’m not getting married 😭😭
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
I'm so very heartbroken by Reine's passing 💔💔 she was a very good friend of mine. We have lost a marvelous, beautiful and very smart young woman.😭😭 May her soul rest in peace.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
+1 MORE YEARS 😍😍 I guess happy birthday to me. I don't call it getting old. I call it outliving the warranty
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
10k followers 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 List of all people I am thankful for 👇👇
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
2 years
Angeli nikimara mwana 😂😂😂😂😂😂ngo kuramo imyenda
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
1 year
Having a steady job. There's tons of unemployed smart people out here. The job market just isn't enough for everyone. Whether you got your job on merit or through nepotism, count your blessings and don't take it for granted.
@2022AFRICA
2022 AFRICA
1 year
What is a privilege that people act as if it isn't?
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
kandi disi ubu future wifey aba ambona kuri iyi mihanda akivugishwa ati ''ndebera nk'iyi dage''. nzagutereta wumirwe gaceze.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
Arabura aka badge kanditseho "protocol"
@IGIHE
IGIHE
3 years
Abakobwa bari guhatanira ikamba rya Miss World bamuritse imyenda gakondo yo mu bihugu byabo, Ingabire Grace uhagarariye u Rwanda aserukana umukenyero n’umwitero.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
2 years
Hi @RNPSpokesperson It's kind of painful to watch you all ignore important things and spend your time worrying about slangs. The System for Provisional license registration @IremboGov is messed up and you all know it. Maybe allocate your precious time to fix that. 1/5
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
Cyaze story zabamotari 😂😂😂... motari anteye story ya feux rouge kumuhima zarozwe numutanzaniya ngo zizakora ari uko abishatse kuko polisi yamwandikiye bidakwiye😂😂😂😂
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
If i was to be taken to the stadium, i wouldn’t mind if they posted 1k pictures of me. But that poor bride is already devastated that a once in a lifetime event in her life was ruined, you went on and paraded them online like we’ll enjoy it. Have some shame.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
Bruno Mars is and will definitely be among the greatest artists of the 21st century
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
2 years
So it goes 🙈🙈🙈
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@Juve_MJ
KGL_MANCUNIAN🇷🇼#MUFC🟥◻️
2 years
Witnessing my brother @Rutambii doing the men’s things. Congratulations my guy🍾
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
Hari igihe mba numva nagura stuff kumuzunguzayi ariko nakibuka ko hari uba yashoye amafaranga menshi, akanakodesha iduka, akanasora bikanateza igihugu imbere, ngahita ngura kumuzunguzayi.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
If you hire me to do something for you and it takes me 20 minutes, then I charge you what you consider too much. it’s because I spent years learning how to do that and it takes me less time because i know exactly what to do. You owe me for my expertise, not the 20 minutes.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
2 months
Still bafles me that some rwot gain merchants gets a massive following and such a unique content creator doesn't while her content is miles better than y'all's misogynistic and sexist content creators that disguise themselves as comedians.
@SolNishimwe
Sol_Solange
2 months
Uko nageze ku ba monk💃🏾🥋
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
5 years
Your homeboy is not unemployed anymore. Today was my first day of work.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
I recommended someone for a job and they got it. I can’t contain the happiness 😭😭😍😍😍
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
2 years
🙈
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@taynextdoor
tay.
2 years
it's the last month of the year, quote with your favorite pictures of yourself this year.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
Kelly Rowland at age 40
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
Post your products with prices. Even if that price is negotiable. People deserve to know if your product is something that is in their budget before they spend their time DM’ing you
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
One thing is for sure, you need a graphic designer on your team. you out there looking like a jehova's witness choir
@SMVenturesrw
Social Media Ventures
3 years
After years of personal and professional team members' experience, Social Media Ventures is there to help individuals and teams make their business dreams a reality. With our marketing model, you'll unearth renewed confidence and tactics to help your business thrive. #SMVDrive
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
#ThankYouJCole Consider Rwanda your other home. You're always welcome. #TuriPatriots @PatriotsBBC @JColeNC
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
2 years
Kubwira motari uti ngiye kimironko ariko mubazi nigera muri 500 uhagarare ahasigaye nahagenda namaguru 😭😭😭
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
I just followed a mosquito out of the house to see if he can lead me to his family and give me a chance to kill them all but this motherfucker chilled on a tree. I thought he might be homeless so I killed him anyway.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
2 years
Another one ! This has been the most successful and productive year of my life😍 hopeful for an even better year ahead 🚀🚀
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
just say you bought a new shirt
@SamuelBaker_B
Samuel Baker BYANSI
3 years
Failure / Mistakes has made me who I am today, failure / mistakes gives you two choices, you stay down or you get up. Well am up and I am fired up because I have figured it out.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
1 year
Habumugisha ko mumwibagiwe vuba se? 🤣
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@berry___31
Be Humble🇷🇼
1 year
13. Which Rwot drama you will not forget?
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
Dear REB. Excuse my french but 'you're full of shit' I can't believe this came off of your handle. see... amashuri menshi ari private hano i Kigali yemerera amanyeshuri kwigana hairstyles izarizo zose kandi ntawe uyarusha gutsinda kukigero cyo hejuru. 1/5 A thread.
@REBRwanda
Rwanda Basic Education Board
4 years
@AissaCyiza Mwiriwe neza Aissa, icyo dusaba nuko umwana wese agira isuku ndetse agahabwa ubumenyi buhagije bujyanye n'icyiciro agezemo ariko ireme tuvuga ntiryagerwaho urihabwa adafite isuku hose ndetse no ku mubiri gusa igikorwa cyose kigamije gutesha agaciro umwana nticyemewe. Murakoze
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
1 month
This guy is easily, the biggest artist in Rwanda.
@IsraeMbonyi
Israel Mbonyi
1 month
Oh My GOD ! #Kampala #UGANDA 🇺🇬 , What a night of glory and Grace . Thank you Lord for your presence and thank you for this Unforgettable Moment.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
We are broken because we don't share. We don't share because we don't trust. We don't trust because those(family mostly) that should listen & be there for us in the first place will only judge. If you ever judge/d a friend that tries/d to open up to you, you are a piece of shit.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
i took the Bruce Melody disrespect personally because I didn’t even know who thad gold guy was. Not heard a single song of his. Maybe i have and didn’t know but the point still stands. Besides, Who’s gonna support our Rwandan artists if we don’t?
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
If you see this, retweet with a pic of you smiling❤️
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
5 years
I'd love to hear government officials, members of parliament, ministers, mayors and others pledge like 30% of their salaries so impoverished families who lived on temporarily jobs(ibiraka) can survive this quarantine. imma make sure ko umudamu watuvomeraga amazi ataburara narimwe
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
5 years
Dear future Wife, Whatever goals you want to achieve in future, I shall try to not stand in your way. I will always be supportive of you and be there for you. At no point in our life will I intentionally put you in a position to sacrifice your priorities to meet my needs. yours
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
Parents force their kids to be scientists and engineers because those professions pay well. Whole country full of people who work in professions they don't like. Resulting in terrible service delivery. Let your kids follow their paths and by all means. support them.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
How a PSG fan are you? #DressLikeKabey
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
This is why I stopped learning French
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 months
How can someone look 17, 25 , 34 and 43 at the same time?
@alexis_vacilli
Alexis Vacilli
3 months
Pure bliss. 📸: @__Ruththebird_
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
Fuck your AI generated circles
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
@Chi3fAnu @Ben____Dover_ This video will stop trending soon but this woman is a meme from now on.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
Sha kereka urwo rumogi muruhinze mubigo bya gisirikare, kuri airport no murugwiro, ahandi hose tuzarunywa tu. You have my word
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
2 years
Mwa basaza mwe rero dukeneye kwigira kubunararibonye bwanyu ntidukeneye kubaho uko mwabayeho. We have to coexist. Tubigishe kurya show namwe mutwigishe …. mbuze icyo twabigirago mumaze kwanduranya bihagije
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
hari igihe ugirana agakungu nabanyabwenge ukibwira ko nawe uzi ubwenge
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
Don't let guma murugo ruin your thinking. stay on course, don't be distracted. have you felt like your life is shit? like things will go wrong, like he/ will dump you? like the worst is yet to happen. my dear friend.. all of that is going to happen, just you wait.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
Body shaming is not cool man!! Boobs are beautiful btw!!
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
always try to return money that you have borrowed even before the other person remembers the agreed payback time is up. It it shows integrity and character and builds trust. Same goes with umbrellas, pens and coats/jumpers.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
Mbere yo kwita umuhungu runaka ngo ari broke. Banza umenye niba musaza wawe afite akantu. #TrustMe 🏃🏃
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
Y’all about to make BAL trend for the wrong reasons. A reminder that they are seeing all your unnecessary whining. It’s gives us a bad image as Rwandans. Having BAL hosted in Rwanda is good enough. Be happy for that and hope they love it here. Ibindi byose muri kwanduranya
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
Imbeho irankubise cyane nandikira ex nti “aka kabeho se?” Ahita ambwira ngo “kabeho nabi”
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
Social media has gradually allowed us to become bullies in the name of jokes and teasing and we forget that what we say (whether we mean it or not) can harm someone more than their physical, written or verbal reaction would lead us to believe.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
Everyone: J. Cole NYAGATARE: Jyey Kolu
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
1 year
Mwumvaga nawe yakora liquor store se?
@BBCAfrica
BBC News Africa
1 year
The daughter of Rwandan President Paul Kagame has been appointed to a key position in his office. Ange Kagame has become deputy executive director in charge of the strategy and policy council. Two of the president's other children also hold govt positions.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
expectations are the thief of joy koko ndabyemeye
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
Twitter was the most fun place to go when I wanted to avoid the whole real life fuckery that 2020 was. It's not much, but I am celebrating the holidays with one random follower of mine by giving them rwf=number of followers I have by Dec 24th. I challenge you to do the same!
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
If you see this, quote tweet with a picture(s) of you with your work tools.
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@JimmyAcelux
Jimmy Ace
4 years
If you see this, quote tweet with a picture(s) of you with your work tools.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
Y'all be acting like hoes but deep down you are lonely as fuck. And some of you are virgins
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
I wish i had this kinda relationship with my granny
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
You automatically lose my respect if you give out someone else's number in the name of "gutanga passe"
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
I am not kidding. Nzi umujama wize mechanical engineering ukora akazi kubu cashier muri Bank 🏦😂💀💀
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
2 years
Ubundi isomo nize nuko gukira atari kugira ibya mirenge ahubwo ko ari kunyurwa hamwe no kwishimira intambwe ugenda utera mubuzima
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
2 years
Look who drove me to work today
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
Just seen a very infuriating IG interview on Amanda Akaliza. this @Inyarwandacom guy laughing at her and tryna make her feel bad for drinking wine. She's freakin 24yr old. leave her alone
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
Amavubi ya kera yarasekeje kurusha ayubu. Aba number 11 babiri na numer 1 utari umuzamu 😂😂😂😂💀
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
Hari abantu bari capable yo gusetsa uvuye gushyingura uwe
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
Stop telling the entire internet, things you should be telling a professional therapist.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
tugaruke kuri uriya musaza mukiganiro kazi ni kazi wavuze ngo yatangiye boucherie afite ifoto y'inka
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
Dear future wife. Nzagukunda kugeza urwanda rutwaye igikombe cy'isi muri football. Yours, Rutambi
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
Donda what??? My G.O.A.T rapper dropped an album
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
Yari yambaye nk'ugiye kubwira perezida kwinjira muri Alliance in Motion
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
5 years
Tanzania confirmed a #COVID2019 patient travelling from Burundi. Meanwhile, Burundi still holds a record 0 cases of #Coronavirus . I mean..... you can never trust BBC but this shit funny🤣😂🤣
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
2 years
Cyaze ejo bundi umupolisi yatwandikiye 25k ngo sinambaye agapfukamunwa. Turi 2 gusa mumodoka. I admit i was at fault ariko 25k??? That’s broad daylight robbery 🥲 Ticket yaje yanditseho kutubahiriza ibyapa
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
This man should be protected at all costs 😂💀
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
Imagine being ibere rya bigogwe's girlfriend. lol and compete with cows for love😂😂😂
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
Only tweet I need to see from @RIB_Rw is them saying they've released those 2 women and offer a public apology cuz that shit is a fuckin violation of human rights and they know it.
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
5 years
Ase man, aya maniga yagiye Dubai kurangura Corona?
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
3 years
Horny ADEPR people posting they bae on statuses like “uwiteka akugenderere”
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
Height: 1.83 Weight: 86kg Shoe size: 46/12 You?
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
Abasa naje gusanga ntuzuye mumutwe
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
5 years
The difference is the shirt
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@Rutambii
Rutambi
4 years
Ase @airtelrw , nkubu kariya ka bundle ka 30gb mwagashyize kuri 7k??? mukirebera ukuntu urwanda rwose ruba umutuku !!!
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