Just had to bollock a group of gobby businessman at breakfast in a Holiday Inn for loudly describing Greta Thunberg - a 16 year old girl with Asperger’s - as a ‘twat’. GREAT START TO THE WEEK.
At least a couple of people noticed that I've been off
@bbc5live
breakfast for a month (best suggested reason: 'being investigated' lol).
@MissEmerKenny
and I have been busy trying to figure out how a baby works.
He's totally ideal, to be fair to the guy.
Please enjoy 90 seconds of a man showing off his love of octopuses.
(whilst simultaneously being quite annoyed at how long the questions are)
Full
#CelebrityMastermind
episode is here:
"OK, this'll be done in, what, 20 minutes, bit of glad-handing, wolf down the food, bang out the speech, quick change, Uber - just have to suck up the surge - could be at Wembley by 5.30... it's doable. IT IS DEFINITELY DOABLE" (CC
@MundialMag
)
#RoyalWedding
A man just shouted at me on the street
"WHY AREN'T YOU ON TV NO MORE"
and as I started to answer
"Oh well I am a bit - "
he kindly answered his own question
"COS OF YOUR SHIT JOKES"
And now I am at home silently reflecting on whether he has a point.
I'm in a cafe (HZ) and there is a lady in here chatting to her friend who has said "I know that I'm a good person" three times in the last 10 mins and I am starting to suspect she is not in fact a good person
BREAKING NEWS: I just finished a 30-minute interview with President Donald Trump aboard Air Force One.
It’s his only UK TV interview & will air on ITV exclusively on ITV.
Desperately trying to figure out whether I should put my faith in the UK’s chief scientific advisor and chief medical officer, or the UK’s chief lumpen gobshite Piers Morgan.
Tricky.
"In the late 1970s, CEOs of major American companies made 30 times more than the average worker; by 2014, they made 300 times more"
I'm no economics whizz but I THINK I CAN SEE THE PROBLEM
No doubt lots of people will be talking about this, but the Tories only won 270,000 more votes (which is nothing, really) at this election than they did in 2017 under May. That has translated to an additional 48 seats (365 vs 317) and a whopping majority. Strange electoral system
🚨We’ve got some exciting news...🚨
⏰Rick Edwards will take over from Nicky Campbell as the new 5 Live Breakfast presenter alongside Rachel Burden from November.
🥳Congratulations
@RickEdwards1
👏
BBC: Go and cover the British Grand Prix!
Me: Amazing, thank you, yes please! Where will I be broadcasting from - the paddock, the pit lane?
BBC: ....
Me: One of the grandstands...
BBC: Do you know the shower block at the campsite?
@bbc5live
I've spent the last 15 minutes trying to identify a physical flaw in Adam. All I can come up with is one of his ears is slightly pointy. YUCK! DISGUSTING! GET OUT!
#loveisland
The receptionist at
@Channel4
just asked if I’d been in the building before. I wouldn’t mind but I am wearing my ‘I PRESENTED T4 FOR FIVE YEARS’ t-shirt.
If there's one thing more British than being in a 2 mile long queue, it's watching a livestream of a 2 mile long queue
(which is what I am currently doing)
Male giraffes will headbutt females in the bladder until they pee. The male then will then drink the urine, tasting it to determine whether the female is ovulating.
At 9pm it's the
#FatbergAutopsy
hosted by
@RickEdwards
.
This disgusting, greasy, stinking mess lurks under our streets in the sewers... and is well known for hosting T4
I don't believe in any of this sort of stuff BUT the morning after Tippi passed away, I was in pieces, and a cat came and sat at my feet for the entire breakfast show. I'd never seen this cat before, and didn't see it again after.
I'm not sure I'd want David Beckham at my wedding if I was Harry.
David, flashing a little smile at my bride-to-be.
David, twinkling his eyes at my bride-to-be.
David, filling out his suit at my bride-to-be.
#RoyalWedding