Squeeze
@Pinball_Wizurd
Followers
221
Following
216
Media
141
Statuses
2,518
Political Dissident Guns and stabby things Birds aren't real, and the earth is flat. Trusty Shellback. Pretty freggin gangsta.
Joined March 2024
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Pinned Tweet
"It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own" ~ Marcus Aurelius
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@Mrgunsngear
Short chunky dude. Big truck. New Jersey accent. Hat on backwards.
He'll swell up on the wrong dude one day and they'll eat his lunch.
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@tradingMaxiSL
Remember that Seinfeld episode where George eats a pastrami sandwich during "it"?
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@HAv2RtrnVdeoTps
I saw a picture of myself and I was like ...fk man.
Then stopped all that crap cold turkey.
That was about 8 weeks ago.
Down 10 lbs immediately.
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@SteveMc00659869
@PaulyShore
Pauly is a national treasure. Now, go wash your mouth out with soap brah.
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@CDPROJEKTRED
If I identify as a woman, can I take like a week off a month for my lady-time? I will still get paid right?
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We put my dad in his final resting place in Indiana today.
I will be giving his eulogy.
I could use some good vibes.
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To the 4 people who reply to my Tweets, you're the real OGs.
And you're appreciated.
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Currently being recruited to another insurance company by a prior supervisor.
Asking for 40K more than I make now.
Wish me luck.
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@KaeleyT
@mailboxdollars
@JulesDiner
@conservmillen
So you're angry at something that doesn't apply to you?
You're angry for someone else?
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My dad played these exact congas for probably 50 years. His fingertips were so numb from it, you could drive a nail through them.
That's him in the white box.
Hi dad.
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@libsoftiktok
@CTDems
How about we get rid of ALL these flags except the US and State flags?
Bingo, problem solved.
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I will now go home and attempt to locate as many 1911 mags as I can.
Good vibes accepted.
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A little bit of my dad's ashes are inside that cross. How cool?
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After 3 weeks, it finally hit me that my father has passed, and I'll never speak to him again.
We didn't have the best relationship, but we became closer in the last 6-8 years.
He was pretty abusive when I was growing up and I'm going to have to find a way to forgive him.
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@sfmcguire79
A hunger strike is not "extreme" unless you see it through. It's just getting hungry.
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"Do you want coffee?"
I've been coming here every morning for the last 15 years.
Yes, I want freggin coffee.
GM!
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So, almost exactly 6 weeks ago, I coughed REALLY hard several times and felt a pop in my rib. I initially thought it was a hernia, but the pain has gotten worse. It's now spread farther south but is still in my rib area.
Am I going to die?
Should I go to the Dr?
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I came to an epiphany yesterday, and it's going to hurt some feelings.
It's not about all the cool gear you have. It's about how much trigger time you have.
Squeeze is going back to the basics.
This hurts my feelings, too. Because I like "stuff."
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Dis me
Hippos can't technically swim, and their high density prevents them from floating.
Consequently, they propel themselves using intermittent ground contact, like astronauts on a moon walk
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9K
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Drama in the parking lot @ the Waffle. 5:32 am.
Cop sitting right there.
GM!
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I bought something a few minutes ago that y'all gonna HATE.
And I'm here fir it.
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The 3 of hadn't all been in the same place for 34 years. We finally got together again. I've known these 2 dudes since we were 12. I'm 52 this year
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GM. New watch. Like $60 bucks.
I REALLY like this. Simplicity.
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Things I learned at the gun range today:
1: Queen bees are whores
2: There's a move called the Brokeback Mountain
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I just got 4 free 500-watt solar panels because I didn't mind my own business at Waffle House. Guy is a foreman at a solar facility, and they are throwing them out because the glass is broken.
Brand new panels.
Score.
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@wayofftheres
Is there any other protected class that gets to paint streets on the regular?
From an insurance perspective, that shit is considerably more dangerous.
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You need to do something TODAY to plan for what's coming.
Anything.
Buy some bottled water. Buy SPAM. Buy ammo.
This shit is going to get way worse.
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I judge people by how you leave your table.
Don't be this dude.
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Happy 23rd birthday.
20 months clean and sober.
He just woke up.
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Ya think you know somebody until there's a death in your family and the subject of the Will comes up.
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I feel like I'm about to just explode. This can't be as good as it gets right?
Sleep. Eat. Work. Eat. Sleep.
Die.
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Total financed price: $128,113.75
$1642.00 per month
What is you doin'???
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The moral of the story... you never know what people are going through.
Be nice and give a shit when you can.
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I made a decision last night. I won't bore you with it.
But it feels good to finally say, to yourself, F it, I'm done worrying about my job. My job does not define ME.
It's simply a means to buy more ammo.
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"Vehicle was stolen and found with a dead body inside"...
F me.
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So the sweet and cute Mexican girl at my favorite joint just said, "The burrito guy is here," when I walked in.
I don't know if I've ever been so proud.
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@NothingIsArt
@ClaudesBBQ
Dudes entire TL centers around him being Vegan.
Here's my bacon machines.
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If you're struggling with your demons today ... don't.
You'll see them again one day.
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