Scrum Masters are always creating problems where there are none.
Why are you treating Developers like kids that needed candy to engage in any activities?
I'm tired of people asking what “games” I've used to get team members to engage with themselves.
My answer is NONE!
Scrum Mastery has gone beyond implementation of Scrum framework.
These days, you must;
- Understand True Leadership
- Have good Coaching skills
- be influential
- Understand organizational culture
- Be willing to chose respect over likeness
- Build organizational network.
A scrum Master was told by the hiring Manager that the Team is very well organized & Self Managing.
Scrum Master facing a different reality in the first month:
The hiring Manager told the Scrum Master that the team doesn't have a Product Owner, but he's planning to hire a PO in the next 2months.
Scrum Master 6 months into the job without a PO & Business-Analyst:
A Scrum Master lied on his resume to get a job, 2 months later the IT Manager sees through his incompetence and tries to fire him.
People try to beg on his behalf until he said “Scrum is a mindset” They realized he's a fraud:
I saw this nonsense on Linkedin.
They are looking for a Scrum Master that will “manage” 5-8 teams. At this point, one would think this is a movie script.
A video that I've been struggling to get off my head;
“In this banga soup..
I see fish
I see beef
I see crab
I see prawn
I see periwinkles
Do I know you?
Have I seen you before?
Did you tell me you’re bringing this soup?
🗣️Open it!”
1 year at this Organization.
Here are the things I’ve learned and improved on:
- Cloud Engineering/Migration
- Team Topologies
- Complex System Management
- Stakeholders Management
- Art of Negotiation
- Organizational Networking & Relationship Management
- Customer service
A Scrum Master with 2 years of experience stated on his resume “Agile transformation expert”
When he finally sees the burden of Agile Transformation, here was his reaction:
Same thing I said yesterday.
I saw a lady gassing her up, talk about “it's his loss”
I was like, you see someone already posted almost 100 pictures within 24hrs and you still think it's the guy's loss? No wahala.
she’s doing that thing where girls will post lots of pics of themselves pretending they’ve moved on.
in reality, it’s an attempt to make the ex jealous who probably doesn’t care
A Scrum Master that teaches the team scrum. He understands and demonstrates true leadership and doesn't act as Scrum Police to the team.
The Team members love him:
This applies to Scrum Masters that are always running around to get every certification that they come across instead of them to focus on improving their facilitating skills, coaching skills, and true leadership skills.
The level of trust my parents have in me is unbelievable.
I always go the extra length to avoid betraying their trust. I stay away from atrocities at all costs, even if it means standing alone.
I could end a relationship for petty reasons like;
- Shoving the camera on my face every day because you're trying to create content.
- Subbing me on the internet because we disagree.
Stuff like that irritates me.
All these tactics of Men trying to shame Women into accepting them with their kids are stupid.
Everybody has preferences, and if a woman chooses not to date a man because he's had a child before, it's a valid reason.
Women without kids not wanting to date men with kids, don’t worry when you have babies and ya baby dad dips out.. you will double back to us eat them words and dick.
Enjoy for now boo x
Scrum Master: Good morning, Team! What did you do yesterday? What will you be doing today? Do you have any blockers?
Developers answering the same boring three questions on the fourth day:
“The hiring manager was impressed with your performance and was convinced you will fit right with the team. I will forward you some paperwork to fill out so we can proceed with the hiring process”
The network I've built over the years is crazy!
My networking & friendship aren't forced, they transpire naturally. Some, I can explain, others I can't explain how they happened, they just happened.
I have friends that I haven't met in person, but we ride for each other.
Their reasons are valid n matter how you look at them or twist them.
Just like every other job out there, it's okay to join the Army for the money and benefits.
“Hello there, my is......, I'm a Scrum Master for.......... I recently join this Organization and I'm looking to build an amazing network around me.
Here are the values I could add to this network;
Let's chat over a coffee or lunch one of these days.
Regards,
(Name)”
“I am so happy… shoutout to the people who opened the doors for me. Big shoutout to Fela who started Afrobeats in the first place. 2Baba, Don Jazzy, D’Banj, D Prince, Runtown, Timaya, Wizkid, Burna Boy, Davido.”
“And I want to give a huge shoutout to the new generation of
Watch Larsa Pippen With a Straight Face Who Cheated on Scottie Twice With Future and Her Son's Married Teammate Say She Was TRAUMATIZED That Michael Jordan Doesn't Approve of Her Dating His Son, Who Was in Baby SIze Jordans When Larsa First Met Him (Vids)