My dad fell asleep at work today. They didn’t fire him, but they fired a girl for the same thing a few months ago. So he texted her and told her to sue them.
I am begging neurotypical to understand.
Appropriate: “hey could you help me move this weekend?”
Not appropriate: “gosh.. all these heavy boxes and furniture… all by myself in just a few hours… sure wish I had someone to help me… but no one cares..”
STOP IT
Don’t buy a homeless person food. Just give them the money if you have it. You think you mean well but what you’re doing is taking away their autonomy & ability to make choices for themselves.
My dad says they don’t pay him enough, so he works ten minutes out of every hour, because that’s how much the pay is worth, he says. The rest of the time he just putzes around and plays games on his phone and drinks coffee and sleeps.
I don’t know who needs to hear this but a 5 year old only needs 30-90 minutes a day of homeschooling. The reason regular school is 8 hours is because you need to be at work for 8 hours under capitalism.
Poor people deserve more than basic needs. They deserve manicures. They deserve desserts. They deserve name brand shoes. They deserve add guac. They deserve 70 inch TVs. They deserve kitchen aid stand mixers. They deserve lattes, every day.
It’s important to me to add this won’t always be your role to a grieving parent. I did ask her “is this okay? I don’t want to take this experience from you.” She said “I don’t want to plan my baby’s funeral.” Heard.
When you show up, make sure to ensure you’re showing up right.
I called him again just to make sure. I was like “but your pictures with it and it’s pretty viral and it’s just important to me I have your consent.” He said “____ wants her job back! She don’t like her new job! The revolution will not be televised but it might be on twitter!” 😂
+ it shouldn’t be an empty “let me know if you need anything.”
It’s better to offer options. “I can do this, this, and this for you. Which one helps the most right now?”
Some other facts about my dad
-when I was growing up, my dad was a union iron worker, stone setter, etc. He helped build the new yankee stadium and did some of the stone at the 9/11 memorial.
-he has so many sponsees at NA it’s not even funny
-every day he texts me the sunrise
@CommieThembo
He’s like “I want them to bring her back I don’t like the asshole they replaced her with she was good at her job 😡” like well that’s one way to do it pops so good luck 😂❤️
Ah yes because sitting inside an office building is what keeps us healthy but sitting inside the house is bad that makes sense very credible totally not at all made up
I am so over solving fucking mind puzzles where the prize of me solving the puzzle is me doing labor for you anyway? Just ask for fucking help! If I have to solve a riddle before helping you I don’t want to do it!
I told him some of you are angry and he laughed really hard. I don’t think you understand how unbothered this man is. This man… kayaks every day and regularly goes to gong therapy.
I wish you could meet him so you’d understand how unbothered he is.
I’m not saying by any means “it’s that easy.”
It wasn’t easy. Our babies were born 3 days apart. We were in the same hospital at the same time. She came down to my recovery floor while she was in labor with her twins. It was hard. You still show up even when it’s hard.
A lot of replies are “but the person needs to seek therapy too!” Etc etc. she did. She is. When she can afford to and when she has the childcare. But even with that. The grief is so heavy. We all try to make sure she never shoulders it alone. Therapy is NOTHING without community.
I don’t feel right about how much this is blowing up (wasn’t expecting it) without adding her gofundme. Since her son’s passing, she is now a single mom, her mortgage is in forbearance + still no headstone.Anything helps while you’re here.
If you gave them that $10, they could have gone in that McDonald’s and ordered a coffee and got out of the cold for an hour. Instead you gave them a cheeseburger, but they already ate, and now they’re in -10 weather with a cheeseburger.
Therapy + meds by themselves are nothing. If she just went to her therapy and took her meds and didn’t have family & friends to call at 2am, to talk her through panic attacks in the grocery store, to respond to her texts when she sees cardinals in her yard…it wouldn’t be enough.
There is absolutely no reason that a school day is 7-8 hours long except for the fact that capitalism wants you working for that long. It doesn’t take 7-8 hours for kids to learn.
Update: houseless, unhoused, homeless etc are all valid terms but they are for the person identifying to choose, not for you to correct. Those EXPERIENCING it choose what they prefer and this is ALWAYS VALID.
“That’s not what trauma dump means” right. Yeah. But Twitter/the internet has weaponized therapy language, as they do, and started using it for “when my friend needs help at all.” I’m saying sometimes our friends need us. 😭
& to the “but sometimes we’re not in the headspace for it,” replies I wanna add,
1. True but would I *ever* have been for such a tragedy?
2. I was in my OWN postpartum healing/anxiety/depression recovering from uterine rupture + a cryptic pregnancy…but I was needed.
I’m not saying “always put your trauma aside for your friends trauma” I’m saying nuance matters and when someone needs you more than you need them in the moment… you’ll know. Trust me.
You’re all annoying and im muting this. When I was homeless I needed cash, not a can of baked beans. If you’re ever unsure just ASK. If you only have food stamps FINE BUY food but ASK. It’s Twitter. I have a character limit. Im not writing an essay. Use critical thinking skills.
My dad has extra kayaks to take his buddies at NA kayaking. He needs more I guess so he may use the funds for that. As of 3 minutes ago I found out he calls this “my kayaddicts program” & I choked on my drink. Anyway I love you all.
I want to add I didn’t mean missing social cues is inherently bad, I am neurodivergent and misunderstand social cues all the time. But it’s my responsibility to learn the ones that mean someone is uncomfortable or feels like they’re in danger, we should all learn that if we can.
I appreciate anyone’s concern that him falling asleep could be a health issue, but this man does like 100+ pushups a day and does not own a car so he just walks miles and miles. He falls asleep easy. Hand him a sleepy grand baby and they both knock right out. lol
Since this is blowing up,
I’ll attach this here. I want all his buddies at NA to have something fun to do after meetings besides board games. *shrug* don’t feel obligated but it’s cool.
Yo! I am trying to raise funds so that a local safe space for addicts (they have NA meetings there but also it’s just a place to go) can have an air hockey table 🏒🥅 they deserve it + I’d like to get this going before summer.
Who wants to help me make this happen?
Now I sound like a hypocrite because when I do mutual aid it’s often care packs of socks and toiletries and ice and things but that’s because that’s specifically what my local encampment asks for 🤷🏼♀️
(My mutuals already know the story of how I found out about this pregnancy at 25 weeks. How afraid I was. How I had a uterine rupture attempting a VBAC & how scary and traumatizing my recovery has been.) but 🤷🏼♀️ she needed me more. So I put that to the side! That can happen tbh
Men who are using this thread to justify weaponized incompetence: no, stop it. Not the same thing. Your wife doesn’t need to make a chore wheel for you. You live in the same house she does, dishes are dirty after every meal you’re a big boy and you know that.
Hot take: the public can not consent to taking part in your kinks. Please dont make them, especially during a pandemic you do not need to be dog walked through a grocery store
@bigggggyikes
@katewajda
Why not just help the parents pay for childcare in the first place tho like how do you not understand how low income families are targeted?
Anyone replying like “well, but mom burnout” ok that is a fault in society we should not punish our kids for. Like skip laundry sometimes and play with your kids. Let dishes pile up a bit and play with your kids. Make your husband get off his ass. They’re only little once.
My negative feelings towards the word unhoused to describe *my situation* are my *own* and I want to be crystal clear on that. Anyone who prefers unhoused/houseless to self-ID is valid and you will NOT speak over or correct them either.
@_jadeisabelle
& then when you’re a parent and you don’t spank your kids, make your newborn sleep in a different room alone from day one, don’t do time outs etc, it’s like you’re the weird one for not wanting to psychologically harm your own kid 👁👄👁
@Steelefolks
@kkreitman
Substance abuse & mental health issues are things that can be helped with resources that those in poverty don’t have access to 🤷🏼♀️
The way people are accusing others of being scammers has made me realize some of you have never been poor enough to realize how EXPENSIVE being poor is. Familiarize yourself with Boot theory. Of course 10x pairs of cheap boots costs more than 1 good pair, but when u need boots…
Lol I am a leftist if you “stumbled onto anti liberal Twitter” it’s because you went too far left not too far right don’t be a silly goose. There’s still hope for you comrade
We probably can’t choose which ones we struggle with. My main one I personally struggle with is “my friend is angry and wants me to be angry with them in solidarity but the thing they’re angry about is ridiculous so im having a tough time matching their energy” 😵💫
Poverty is, for all intents and purposes, illegal. Sleeping in public is illegal. Sleeping in your car is illegal. Even standing around too long (loitering) is illegal.
It’s never one sided she tells people she appreciates them all the time (she doesn’t have to. We know) also thank you anyone who has donated. Again she’s a single mom now so it means a lot. She just went thru a very expensive custody battle immediately after the loss too.
And we might only do 30-90 minutes in workbooks but we throughout the day & with breaks we might be going to libraries and museums, sports and extra cirriculars, watching science experiments (or doing our own!), playing with instruments, doing learning apps….
I don’t feel right about how much this is blowing up (wasn’t expecting it) without adding her gofundme. Since her son’s passing, she is now a single mom, her mortgage is in forbearance + still no headstone.Anything helps while you’re here.
“Well some people don’t play pretend with their kids because pretending is hard for adults.” You guys work jobs in corporate America. I’ve read your emails. You don’t talk like that in real life. You pretend all the time. 🙃
@CaptainPieguy
Okay but however, there is a separate discussion to be had about how men will do the weaponized incompetence thing. If the sink is full of dishes just do the dishes don’t make your partner ask etc etc lol
@LegaultMustGo
So I’m saying this as someone who was homeless, several times in my life. “Ask them” is a given. It’s Twitter. I have a character limit. I can not fit every “what if” in there. Im speaking from my LIVED EXPERIENCE. People speaking over me is getting exhausting.
@BennArrington
I wanna say this as someone who had Medicaid my first pregnancy, depending on state they might make you “pay back” her Medicaid as “child support” to the state, so my (at the time boyfriend) had to pay a 5k copay for my c section. Wages garnished and all.
@nodechomsky
That’s so kind of you. I think
Often in grief people are in such a daze they really can’t think even if they tried. I know she appreciates that you did that ❤️
1. I agree it is also a white entitlement thing
2. I literally don’t drive either calm down lol! 😅 don’t yell at me for my carbon footprint or whatever I don’t even have a drivers license goofballs
Some of you wanna have a side conversation about how neurodivergence means like you can’t do dishes unless your roommate begs and that’s not what I’m agreeing with at all. Like we do have to at some point take responsibility for ourselves in shared living spaces. Sorry.
@Imveryimportan3
The richest 10% of people in the world are responsible for around 50% of global emissions. Thats the issue. Rich people are the issue.
*I agree I shouldn’t even have to put disclaimers like this but like *gestures to internet* I’m not about to get accused of being ableist because I said I’m sick of men being creepy and I’m already getting “well ND people can’t just shut that off” replies so
So I went to a pro life pregnancy crisis center when I found out because I knew they’d get me an ultrasound right away if I called and threatened to go to a planned parenthood 😌 but I just wanna talk about some ways they tried to bullshit me:
This isn’t me trashing public or private school. I’m just saying you can’t be worried a 5 year old will be “dumb” if they do an hour a day of home school.
She’s not on Twitter but again she became a single mother just months after the loss bc she was “too sad to be around” etc after losing her son so… it really means a lot that y’all are sharing the gofundme. Thank you.
@JuddRobinL
I think it depends on the state but also not just homelessness but poor kids will miss more school, poor kids are more likely to live in food deserts, etc like there’s levels to it, poverty makes it harder to parent in general
@EffNeffSS
When we are up front we are often met with violence because it hurts their ego… it’s so dangerous for us to be up front so we have to pretend to be nice… she did make it very clear she wasn’t interested
Something I’ve noticed online about evacuation advice: none of it is really aimed at poor people. None of it considers people with no cars, people who can’t afford plane tickets, people who can’t update their pets shots RIGHT NOW or pay to board them…
Wow this is really doing numbers pls spay and neuter your pets, wear sunscreen even on days you’ll be inside, and don’t eat icicles off your roof they’re probably covered in bird shit. Thank you San Diego.