Paddy Sisyphus
@PaddySisyphus
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924
Following
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Media
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Statuses
33,067
Keep your eyes on the prize.
Manchester via Teesside
Joined January 2010
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A lot will be said, a lot will be written, but you can't go into a World Cup with Sam Matterface as your lead commentator and expect to win it. That's the top and bottom of it.
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I'm unduly irritated by the meat pie couple story going viral via the Gazette. A THREAD.
I thought this pair looked familiar, and then I realised it's the same couple I had on the side bar of the local news blog I ran from 2010 called The Nether Regions. Tony and Linda Gilkes.
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The playful little hand wave at four seconds, before thinking "fuck it". That is what life's all about.
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Who's this at left back for Boro? Messi? (Probably best Vine ever this TBH)
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Feel a bit less embarrassed about this clip these days. Fair play to our lads for even getting near him.
What Jude Bellingham did to Middlesbrough’s midfield 😂 😂
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Hats off to closeted Boro fan, Jake Cooper of Millwall, for clipping his own leg to go down on the wing before pretending to track back and then wheeling away in delight at the resulting Boro goal.
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Pat Phelan marching up Coronation Street with a gun to a soundtrack of Joy Division's Atmosphere is, arguably, the greatest moment of cinematography ever committed to film.
#Corrie
@connor9mcintyre
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Not sure how I hadn't previously noticed this photo of Jonny Howson on the phone (which was tweeted by the official
@Boro
account) features an 'IF IT'S NOT FROM YORKSHIRE IT'S SHITE' coaster. Neil Warnock's desk? Classic Neil.
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If that's the end of Leo's reign, then Leo... thank you.
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In summary this story - which is being held up as another example of 'haha tee hee' local news - is nothing of the sort. It's cynical and depressing. Come back to me when there's a visible face of Jesus in the pastry lid. END.
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Great to see a cracked badge effect for Colleen Rooney and Rebekah Vardy on BBC Breakfast. Feels like the natural conclusion of the cracked badge phenomenon.
cc.
@FootballCliches
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I try not to be too sincere on here but sometimes it's really important to value the time we have together and savour every moment we still have Pat Phelan.
#Corrie
@connor9mcintyre
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@FootballCliches
In case you haven't seen this classic of the Lampard genre from Wednesday'
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Some absolutely astounding erasing of our former matchday anNONCEr from our Bob, here.
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Today is the 24th consecutive game in which Sean Dyche has named an all-white team for Burnley.
#KKKlarets
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If you want to grow your own little cartoon Tory, simply take a plum and bury it in the ground encased in a coating of human excrement, and within 2-3 weeks you'll have grown your own little Robert Jenrick.
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Chuba Akpom's Twitter has now entered an official period of mourning about his imminent departure from Boro.
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😢 ... 😄
🚨 | BREAKING: Chuba Akpom won’t be renewing his Middlesbrough contract.
[
@SkySportsNews
]
#Boro
|
#UTB
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When serial complainers win a complaint, especially via the media, they feel vindicated and will complain more. Now pies are on sale pre-9am, how long until the Gilkes are back harassing their neighbours? This time with pies thrown at neighbours' windows at the crack of dawn.
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Dael Fry and Rav van den Berg are the smooth, tattoo-free defensive pairing we've been craving since Pearson and Vickers
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It's contrived bumph fed to the Gazette by two egomaniacs with a track record of trying to get in the local paper. The Gazette have lapped it up and written a story with the aim of going viral for the Paddy Power timeline demographic. Sad!
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That's my drag name.
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When Lee Tomlin did this to Vincent Kompany my kidneys swapped places.
"
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Here are a couple of the Gilkes' previous local news appearances, when they were given a court injunction for harassing their neighbours with endless complaints (106) and filming them on CCTV. They're probably not nice people. They're serial complainers.
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A bleeped out swear word within three seconds of his first official post-match interview as boss. Leo... thank you.
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Quite funny that Boro sacked the one on the left, then considered but rejected the one on the right, they're both now in the Premier League and we're not, and yet, and yet... we definitely made the right decisions all round.
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Catching up on the last round of the Carabao and stumbled upon some peak Peter Drury here. Unadulterated screaming *and* two Cash puns.
@FootballCliches
.
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Genuinely hilarious that Daniel Ayala has moved clubs but resolutely maintained his long-held tradition of taking January and February off.
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Dennis Skinner, Ken Loach and Ricky Tomlinson in conversation. Decent set of dinner guests tbf.
#durhamminersgala
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Sickened to report that important research by
@mcwd
has led to the revelation that Adam Clayton has a tattoo of his own wedding day on his shoulder. Sell him.
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Charging someone for a tweet when 14 years old is patently ridiculous. I am quite literally 'a gay' and there's little doubt I said homophobic things at 14 years old.
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England's path to the final is so wide open I'm having awful flashbacks to Boro's 2008 FA Cup hopes.
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After making an incredible discovery that all the merchants in and around Coronation Street have proper Google Maps entries at the site of the new set, I'm proud to announce I've just been the second person to go through them all leaving reviews.
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You know you're at a big game when your chairman is being guarded by two cops, Mike Dean is inexplicably the referee, and Mike Dean is the only one of 23 men on the pitch to take the knee. A lot to process.
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A top notch
@NivenJ1
cameo at the bottom of this
@Manics
setlist from tonight's gig in Paris.
http://t.co/nys47jsujY
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Real 'relationship goals' = when your boyfriend is so unfazed by your long running secret relationship with George Friend that he's willing to put him on your birthday cake.
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If Gibson is intent on seeking compensation for missing out on the play offs in 2019, he should be pursuing a claim to get all of Tony Pulis' wages that season returned to the club.
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Martin McCutcheon with a Perfect Moment once again.
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Someone should tell the miserable Sky Sports commentators fans jogging about on a pitch does not equate to armageddon.
#ScottishCupFinal
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Since I discovered football as a child I feel like I've spent the vast majority of my days thinking "Boro need a second goal here".
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As anticipated, within months of giving up playing Wayne Rooney's face has morphed into a block of pure meat.
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You mean you want to see the story of Boro's season in the form of Grand National runners and riders? Yer welcome.
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My view on Gaston Ramirez for
@fmttmboro
. Now it's been published I can disclose the first letter of each sentence spells a naughty word.
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We were Northern League for the first half hour, Champions League for the last half hour. That's what I call progress. Now let's just go and win the bloody cup.
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The whole point of the blog was to celebrate the way local newspapers have to resort to reporting on tedious local happenings which are strangely entertaining, often funny, and kind of charming. This story is none of those things. It's just crap.
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Zenden kicked it twice and it was wrongly allowed. Tavernier didn't kick it twice and it was wrongly disallowed. I've always said these things even themselves out over 16 years.
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Don't engage with Andy 'Tees Tissues' Preston's attention seeking. He's just a needy irrelevance now: one third pure narcissist, one third deliberately disingenuous, and one third basic moron. A toxic blend.
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Back home having a little glass of wine and just reflecting on how much I like this team and how this is my favourite Boro picture for approximately six years.
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Our club is rotten from top to bottom.
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You don't notice how fascist the Take That logo is until it's adorned on two pillars on a football ground. Gary Barlow delivering despicable authoritarian diatribes from the boardroom window to an adoring Fanzone supping pints of Bud(weiser).
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Accidentally took this exactly as Daniel Ayala headed Boro into the lead. Give me the Pulitzer Prize now.
#borolive
http://t.co/pnJ6oDOwB6
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Every time silly little Bournemouth concede a goal Scott Parker should be contractually obliged to add another stripe to his silly little cardigan.
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NO CHEATING your last saved celebrity picture is your therapist so who is it?
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The emotional scenes when the empty Boro bus was cheered through the away end after full time at The Den.
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A brilliant and emotional speech about Grenfell Tower by the FBU's
@MattWrack
at
#durhamminersgala
. Firefighters are trade unionists. 👍
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Me dishing out the aggro on Twitter vs me when someone challenges me in real life.
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I know the short men who always push in at the bar amongst you won't agree, but Boro could really do with George Friend at the moment.
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Hoping this steward is kept on at the Riverside for the 2021/22 season. Upping the ante.
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Despite our much feted new Director of Football model, you do have to admire the dark humour that the only decent signings since Carrick came in are the two lads on loan from Villa who "Danksy knew well".
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You're telling me Mikhail Gorbachev died at the precise moment Boro conceded a last minute winner?
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That stoppage time winner from Boro shows great Carrickter.
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Don't mean to dredge up old refereeing decisions (zzzz) but this was completely preposterous in Oct 1996 wasn't it. Almost (almost) enough to make you want VAR.
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Boro seems a bit less exotic now that Aitor, Juanjo, Marcos and Carlos have been replaced with Paul, Joe and Steve.
The club can confirm that Carlos Cachada has left his position as First Team Fitness Coach ➡️
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No, but I remember when you thought you'd retrain as a radio disc jockey and crossed a BBC picket line.
Remember when they told the bankers that they would have to look for a different job?
Me neither
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We may be the only team in the league actually playing games at the moment, but that's a clever tactic. Will always remember the first time I heard the phrase "better to have the points in the bag", from the wise lips of Bryan Robson.
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Simultaneously enraged and reluctantly pleased for Little Bouffant Partrick Bamford showing he's actually very good in the Premier League. Tony Pulis can rot in hell IMHO.
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Said it before and will again: if Manchester is serious about being a modern, thriving city then Piccadilly station needs a bigger Greggs.
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If Adama Traore does end up staying under contract at Boro it shall forever be known as the Hollywood Bowl clause.
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I like trains, and I LUV ferries, and ever since seeing this thread in 2018 I've wanted to do the SailRail journey to Dublin. Today is the day.
You can buy a railway ticket from any UK station to Dublin Ferryport that is valid to Holyhead and then on the ferry! It’s pretty good value and sometimes cheaper than flying! So I’m doing it today
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If you're getting wound up by a Championship podcast where one of the contributors has a Star Wars poster on his wall and the other has a Budweiser one, you need to reassess. These people are to be disregarded and eventually crushed.
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I've seen Andy Preston getting plaudits for this but, as usual with him, when he talks about mounting poverty and deprivation on Teesside there's an elephant is the room of 10 years of crippling Tory austerity which he consistently refuses to criticise. Because he agrees with it.
Middlesbrough is currently in tier 2 of COVID-19 restrictions, but might it change soon?
The Mayor, Andy Preston, says he's "really scared and disappointed" the government are informing their decisions without "accurate data". JJ
#KayBurley
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Men who want to sell George Friend are, I can guarantee, all 5'8" or under and regularly push in at the bar.
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Scenes when even our own players are laughing about having to watch Boro.
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Sunderland have a young player called Chris Rigg. He's very similar to Chris Riggott but a bit less OTT.
🔴⚪️ Chris Rigg made history yesterday when he became
#SAFC
's youngest-ever outfield player - and the 15-year-old is going to be staying with the first-team squad when he's on day release from school...
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Brentford's in-house commentator was whinging "Dimi used to come here flapping with Hartlepool, and now we can't beat him". 🙋
#borolive
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Call me old fashioned but I don't think the
@boro
account should be retweeting mindless Tory party propaganda like it has today.
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Can't stop thinking about Matt Crooks nodding the ball in the goal in front of the South Stand on 90+5. That's the first moment of pure and total euphoria I've had since they let us back in the grounds. It's nice to feel alive isn't it.
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If Woodgate ends up leaving Boro I wonder if we'll replace him with, in his own words, a "proper manager".
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Garry Monk can't find the winning formula but it's literally staring him in the face.
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Neil Warnock revealing Martin Payero has improved his game because he's getting some sex is a bit unnecessary.
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Absolutely mad how good Chris Wilder has made Boro in a few weeks. Obviously wanted an intriguing, little-known foreign appointment after Warnock, but if this is what Wilder brings then I'm on board and will even accept his dreadful squat tracksuit aesthetic if I absolutely must.
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Quite difficult to believe Gary Neville is going to be a witness for Ryan Giggs in this grim trial. The only logical explanation is he wants to scope out the Crown Court as another redevelopment site for one of his shit tower blocks.
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You learn more about football tactics from one game of listening to Emma Hayes on co-commentary than 15 years of listening to coked up clowns in the North Stand concourse at the Riverside.
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Farewell to the original Kike. You came, your dad squeezed my leg, you left.
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