Patrick Sheehan Esq
@PaddyM04882466
Followers
140
Following
190
Media
566
Statuses
15,039
Loving husband, father, brother, son, nephew, grandson, great-grandson, second-cousin-once removed, seventh daughter of a seventh daughter, Aunt Agatha, etc.
Manchester, England
Joined January 2020
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
namjoon
• 329630 Tweets
Linkin Park
• 149707 Tweets
Adalet
• 120089 Tweets
For Asia
• 101222 Tweets
Chester
• 77529 Tweets
علي النبي
• 73352 Tweets
BTS PAVED THE WAY
• 67997 Tweets
Hayırlı Cumalar
• 46808 Tweets
Engin Polat
• 46126 Tweets
サブスク解禁
• 44824 Tweets
#BAEKHYUN_PINEAPPLESLICE
• 38235 Tweets
エイリアン
• 31169 Tweets
#يوم_الجمعه
• 29095 Tweets
資さんうどん
• 26808 Tweets
知的レベル
• 25435 Tweets
すかいらーく
• 24195 Tweets
アストロボット
• 20031 Tweets
ちいかわ寿司
• 19926 Tweets
ベイマックス
• 14946 Tweets
大阪府警
• 12985 Tweets
MEW LOVE IN THE AIR
• 12234 Tweets
フリーランスの田中
• 10962 Tweets
TILFF X UPPOOM
• 10927 Tweets
ロムルス
• 10418 Tweets
神ちゃん
• 10044 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
I'm fundraising for Shine Cancer Support. Check out my
@JustGiving
page and please donate if you can. Thank you!
#JustGiving
1
1
1
@fesshole
Bollocks. In my experience they'd have had you do the automation across the board but kept your pay the same. In this country you get pay-rises by kissing the right arses and flattering the right egos, not by increasing operational efficiency.
24
1
541
@fesshole
What if he initially turns to the female engineer and says "go and put the kettle on love whilst us men discuss the technical side of things. Oh and a couple of biscuits wouldn't go amiss - masculine ones like Digestives or Hob Nobs, no Pink Wafers though, I'm not a pansy"?
18
3
315
Hmmm so 1) Lee Mack makes a joke. 2) No-one demands he be cancelled. 3) The right wing nutters all claim that wokies are clamouring for him to be cancelled. 4) the right wing media takes the nutters twitter comments as evidence that he is going to be cancelled.
18
51
293
@fesshole
"Richard, I will not tolerate you having sex with a stranger in a Travelodge during one of my candlelit suppers. At the very least you could make it a Warner Leisure Hotel".
1
2
234
@melanie_bellamy
@fesshole
Yeah, something's happened in the last ten or so years that's changed that. I can't quite put my finger on it but I'm getting the colour blue coming through strongly, the smell of ham, the name Gideon.
1
3
192
@anon_opin
Yes, I hate the 2.5 hours a day I get as a result of not commuting, the freedom to work in the garden when the sun is out, and the fact I can listen to podcasts as I work. Please imprison me in a badly air-conditioned room all day with ego-driven wankstains instead.
1
3
175
@fesshole
Shit really? I thought they used only the finest selection of hand-crafted cheeses from across Europe on my £1.50 frozen Cheese and Tomato pizza. You'll be telling me the dough isn't kneaded twixt the thighs of buxom maidens next!
2
0
141
@fesshole
I just can't get my head around this mentality. I understand that lots of people think the same as the OP, but it's so much easier to let bygones be bygones. There are things I could never forgive, but something like this can only lead to more argument and tension for zero gain.
17
0
143
@fesshole
Short notice period for a manager. When you say "CV" do you mean "an upfront payment of £2000" and when you say "recruiters" do you mean "a hitman"?
3
1
126
@fesshole
In English that means "I suffer from premature ejaculation which I'm trying to excuse by claiming it's the woman's fault for being too hot"
5
0
123
@fesshole
Used to be what the Sheriff called an outlaw. Lived in Sherwood Forest and frequently robbed noblemen with my trusty longbow so I could buy food for me and my merry men. Worksop was so miserable we actually preferred hanging in King John's dungeons; it was a respite.
2
0
115
@anon_opin
Shouldn't stuff like this be on Facebook? Followed by "I'm a strong independent woman. If you can't take me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best", then "gin o'clock", then "this house is built on love, laughs, and prosecco"
4
1
108
@anon_opin
I lost 30kg and my gf took out a contract on my life. But then she is a Mexican cartel boss.
2
2
99
@fesshole
Well if you will insist on shitting in the smoking shelter you only have yourself to blame.
0
0
100
@derekgilbert
@GBNEWS
@danwootton
I've never been to the Ozark mountains but I'm getting strong Deliverance vibes.
3
0
100
@AndyBurnhamGM
@gmpolice
You could say the same about striking. If protesting doesn't piss off some people then it's not worth bothering with
1
1
85
@fesshole
What you've probably done there is confuse the end of the rush hour (which you've missed because you're running late), with a magic influence over the roads that you don't actually have. Primitive superstitious thinking.
0
0
94
@mrmarksteel
Around Town With Mark Steele. Well of course Stockport doesn't exist and the supposed Pyramid is a transmitter for the Illuminati. The 192 bus route howevrer is unchanged.
2
1
85
@fesshole
Why would you need to when, as a 46 year old single man, you can get all the sexual pleasure you need just by painting a small figurine of a warlock or by listing locomotive engines in a book.
2
0
86
@jameskcentral
@fesshole
Hopefully she'd been shagging the milkman that very morning. A certain Pat Mustard
2
0
88
@fesshole
I hope you ask me so I can advise you that chocolate isn't recommended as a treatment for hypoglycemia in Type 1 diabetics and instead offer you an unpleasant tasting blackcurrant Lift shot, which you would then have no choice but to drink and be grateful for.
4
1
83
@fesshole
Why are they jealous? Married men are allowed to listen to swing music surely? I love to put on a Cab Callaway 78 of an evening. Not heard of BDSM though, British Devotees of Swing Music I presume? I'd love to join.
0
0
77
@fesshole
Why? She'd probably have turned you down if she'd known they were from you. She thought they came from someone else because she obviously hoped they came from that other person, presumably because she already fancied them.
5
0
69
@fesshole
My flatmate Billy had a 10 inch willy,
He showed it to me in my room
I call his cock a snake,
But I hit it with a rake
And now it doesn't bruise my womb
0
0
71
@fesshole
Tie it to the saddle with a bit of string, then if you crash it'll be torn off and probably fall down a drain or something, then no-one will ever know.
2
0
65
@IJasonAlexander
The Greek Islands. Days around the pool or on the beach, the odd walk up to some ruined ancient monument in the baking heat, evenings eating souvlaki and dolmades with a shed-load of wine and ouzo.
5
2
67
@anon_opin
I learned. And decided not to bother again after I passed. And the only reason I ever have to get in a car is when bloody drivers insist on it even though public transport is much, much more relaxing
2
1
67
@AndyBurnhamGM
You pays your money, you gets your bent results. Can you imagine the legal challenges these schools will face from pushy upper-middle class parents otherwise. Labour should close every last one of them whenever they next get power. Should have been done by Atllee.
1
1
64
1
2
55
@fesshole
Not buying it. Any quiz offering a decent cash prize rather than free beer would surely not be won by questions a moderately inquisitive 11 year old would know the answer to.
0
0
59
@richardjwild
@DrJaninaRamirez
I think you can add that at pretty much any point and it still works.
4
0
58
@LockdownNo
@campbellclaret
No it wouldn't. If they're doing a shit job - as they are - they need pressure and criticism to push them to get their act together. They're not a primary school kid who need to be treated with kid gloves and "encouraged" in order to improve, they're the bloody UK government.
1
0
53
0
0
51
@anon_opin
I felt the same about Fleabag. Not that it was racist. Or a fairground ride. But that it was unwatchable.
3
0
50
@RishiSunak
Never mind sausages and parcels, all I care about is sovereignty. Has this deal given me more or less sovereignty, cos I for one can't get enough of the stuff. I snort it, inject it, smoke it, sleep with it, care for it, caress it. Neat, uncut, pure, unadulterated sovereignty.
5
2
46
@fesshole
Suggest she expands its repertoire, perhaps a few Police classics?. Assuming you're well-hung, your balls could be Andy Summers and Stewart Copeland and Sting could be the massive knob.
0
0
46
@theAliceRoberts
The entire programme is awful. As with most BBC political coverage these days. Take out the modern political coverage and the BBC is a great institution. Leave it in and it's time to scrap the licence fee.
7
0
46
@drbahradjd
@IanDunt
The British Centre exists in a fantastical position where they convince themselves that everything they do is reasonable, calm and measured, even when they're smashing a fox's head in with a baseball bat, or maiming and killed innocent civilians by dropping bombs on their houses
1
7
42
@fesshole
Ah you must be one of the Blessed ones. Personally I have to light a candle to St Bonaventure, patron saint of bowel disorders, place a mattress against the bathroom door to muffle the screams, then bite down on a piece of wood as I wrestle the foul demon that dwells within.
5
0
45
@JoshuaStokesITV
Yeah but to be fair, they have to live on the Isle of Man, the UK's Internment Camp of first choice.
1
0
41
@fesshole
He should have wielded his weapon and said "By the power or Greyskull, I have the Power". The amateur
1
1
42
#HIGNFY
Didn't see it but it's roused the fury of the right so presumably it was a good episode
1
7
43
@GeorghiouG
@fesshole
Why? I mean why would you use FB for that purpose anyway. FB is for seeing how racist members of your extended family are.
1
1
43
@kelvmackenzie
@GaryLineker
England football hero -v- one of the most malignant figures in British life for the last 40 years; a man whose demise will be celebrated with street parties and bunting; whose piss-sodden grave will be welcomed by naturalists in future decades as a rich wetland habitat.
1
0
41
@rachshabi
@MarinaHyde
Shhhh, thats not what the patriots of this nation want to hear. They want "hip-hip-hooray and ballyho, last one to catch the virus is an oik, bagsy no comebacks".
1
8
40
@anon_opin
So long as women accept that skidded Y-Fronts with a damp patch at the front are comfortable for men, and should therefore be embraced wholeheartedly.
7
0
39
@anon_opin
The folly of youth! Tight nipsies slacken with age to the extent that farting becomes an unavoidable inevitably that you can no longer fret about. Once you're over 40 the worry is less farting in front of your partner than it is shitting oneself.
3
0
40
@fesshole
Wow. I thought I was living the high life when I got retweeted by the host of a TV show on Dave. Evidently not.
0
0
37
@brianmoore666
Awww I thought you'd typed Ackland there for a moment. She'd have kicked shit out of him.
0
0
36
@anon_opin
I do.
"Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And the days of auld lang syne?
For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne
We'll drink a crate of Buckfast yet
For the sake of auld lang syne"
6
0
39
@fesshole
It's not your girlfriend Wayne. It's Bert the team doctor. Look he's using a magic sponge. You're concussed man. Oh Christ get him off the pitch, he's only gone and jizzed in his shorts. Substitute ref, substitute.
1
0
40
@fesshole
... but Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not. So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them "He that hast not shat in a microwave among you, let him first cast a stone"
0
0
39
@10011_1010100
Or the reason Bob has a career in comedy and isn't stuck working in a solicitors office.
1
0
36
@anon_opin
You could say the same for loads of sports. Golf for starters. Archery. Target Shooting. Ski-jumping, Long-jump, High-jump, blah blah blah.
2
0
39
@fesshole
My friend Billy had a 10 inch willy, he showed it to the girl next door. She thought it was a snake and then hit it with a rake, so now he's packing less than 4. Just a suggestion.
2
0
39
@fesshole
Was this at primary school? I can imagine a big Thingie would impress the boys and the girls in Reception.
0
0
39
@anon_opin
Or don't move in nextdoor to anyone who is the sort of person who "keeps themself to themself".
1
0
32
@fesshole
By "go back" do you mean return to the store, or step back from the path of criminality? One day it's stealing a bottle of vanilla essence, a year later you're cutting off a security guard's fingers with a bolt-cutter.
3
0
37
@Daniel_Baines04
@DanBell7619
@mick_moose
@henrywinter
It we lose to Germany he should be sacked. Without question.
1
0
34
@fesshole
I've a feeling we have that hanging in our living room. Wife swore blind it was a Ansel Adams print of Boulder Canyon but I always had my doubts.
0
0
36
@daiwillart
@Telegraph
No really worth bothering. We'll be taking the Saltire and St Patrick's cross off it soon enough anyway.
2
0
32
@mpower343
@fesshole
I think you maybe overstate the willingness of companies to the invest in such things and/or pay anyone to monitor them. It's not like looking up police records.
0
0
33
@anon_opin
Garbage. Most men are -eventually - desperate for a child onto whom they can pass their ridiculous hobbies. Otherwise who will look after the model railway/functioning model of the Battle of Austerlitz/Sealed Knot Society membership when they're gone?
1
0
33