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@Orethebrave
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feminist | not aspiring to be humble | mfjpm
the in-between
Joined July 2011
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he’s “progressive” but all his friends make sexist jokes and partake in misogyny? you better run for your life.
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when I say TikTok kills me 😭😭😭
“you are struggling to pay rent but you have a mansion in heaven. why don’t you go home?”
I’ve been crying for 3 mins
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my problem is that I’m looking at this and I still can’t tell which is a match. 💀
Rihanna’s Fenty Beauty made a filter that helps people find the right foundation for their skin.
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every time I see a young girl who is outspoken and assertive, I say a prayer that she never gives in to the folding that the world demands of girls.
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that TikTok/reel of the Cambridge PhD couple talking about one another’s thesis is the most romantic thing I’ve seen in a while.
I’ve watched it an embarrassing amount of times. 🙈
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“I liked her gentle temperament”
this is why as a woman, you must be known for chaos every now and then.
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my favorite thing about this post is that it beautifies the everyday companionship, the ordinary, the mundane - getting coffee, taking a nap.
yeah, my bf posted this for our anniversary. no big deal, super casual!
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“you’re not like other girls”
walahi I’m like them. I’m like other girls baje baje.
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I’ve never seen a marriage between a progressive woman and a “traditional” man that worked out well.
yours will not be an exception, please don’t sign up for a life of misery.
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I reported the RCCG church near my house to LASEPA and I’m happy to announce that they’ve kept the noise down this morning.
I actually got a phone call from LASEPA promising to address it and they did. I am pleased.
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I love that Obi doesn’t infanticize the « youth ».
He doesn’t address us with condescension or pretense. He addresses us with respect, as people with agency.
not « our children » or « these young people ».
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especially the seemingly progressive ones. the moment you get comfortable with men, the misogyny will jump out.
a scary lot.
A LOT of men are misogynists. Yes, even the seemingly progressive ones.
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“I don’t want to get involved in politics”
Sis, politics is getting involved with you, with or without your permission. 😭
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might be very uncool of me but I’m very sensitive to disrespect and rudeness.
I really really can’t stand a little impoliteness. mockery too. it just makes me shut down.
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you’re supposed to train them.
Graduate TRAINEES.
employers want the dividend of trained staff but don’t want to invest in training the staff.
Nigerian university graduates are unemployable. Thought I should repeat it.
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I was interviewing with a boutique audit firm and they asked whether I’d applied to any others, I replied honestly, one of the Big 4.
then one of them asked which offer I’d take if I got both. I asked him which offer he’d advise his daughter to accept. 😭
~ How did you know you weren’t going to get the job during your job interview?
Share your story 😂
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Just saw the best email sign-off lmaooooo
"Doing more than I get paid for,
Anthony"
lmaoooooooooooo
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this is why men flip out when we rightfully label an action as sexual harassment. it’s guilt.
instead of taking responsibility and seeking redress, they mask their guilt with anger and dishonesty.
there's a difference between groping and tapping current.
don't be silly
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pro women.
all day, everyday.
today and always.
till my last breath.
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and this is how most of your life is a haze.
you can’t remember living through them because you weren’t really present.
just there in your head, convincing yourself to stay alive one more day. convincing yourself it gets better.
a soulless, joyless ride.
functional depression is so funny because you’re doing things, you’re telling yourself one step after the other, just one more step, one more day and a whole month glides by and you don’t remember anything. you were so focused on beating the sadness, you forgot to live
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As a woman, I’m not interested in breaking any barriers or glass ceilings. I don’t have energy.
The ceilings shouldn’t be there in the first place and it shouldn’t be my job to break.
Goodluck to everyone involved. 👍🏽
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If Nigerian men call you a virtuous woman, you may want to evaluate your choices in life.
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mind you, men ask women leading questions like this in real life, unprovoked.
weird, irritating, pieces of shit and you have to act composed so they don’t gaslight you or turn to violence.
I just want you people to know that it is also sexual harassment.
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I’m a big fan of Zikoko’s work can’t even lie. They tell all kinds of stories and I’m grateful for it.
not every time “awwwnnn”, sometimes “ahhhhh”.
reality is often stranger than fiction. up zikoko. 🙏🏾
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Just passed by this establishment in VI called The Library and I lit up. Yooo, an actual library.
I checked their IG to get info about how they operate. My people in Christ, it is a lounge. As in, a club ish.
The way I am livid. 😤
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wishing all women everywhere the courage and resources to continually decenter men in their lives.
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making a lot of jokes about dying or the world ending.
also, a persistent, “I’m tired”.
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« You’re a wicked person, you refuse to help others. »
The « help »
Exam malpractice
Awarding contracts to incompetent people
Abuse of power
Misappropriation of public resources
Refusal to participate in unethical practices
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man: so you read a lot
me: yes
man: have you read sapiens or any book by yuval harari
me: no
man: * expresses shock and mentions a list of other male authors who write faux philosophy*
me: no
man: *condescendingly* so you only read novels then
me: *ends conversation*
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when I’m not enjoying a book I really want to finish, I start skipping entire sentences to get to the point.
especially overly descriptive text.
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when I don’t flinch or tense up at their touch. I really cannot stand physical touch.
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yup. African women have always worked. on the farms. on market days. domestic work. child care. all combined.
African women have always worked. that’s why I insist that the entire 50/50 discourse is very disingenuous and useless to African feminism.
And if you do decide learn more about feminism and feminist theories (I don't consider it compulsory), please engage with Nigerian/African authors, it's very easy to start seeing feminism through a white lens. I don't want to hear "women stayed home and had to fight to work"
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The barest minimum that you people say Seyi Makinde is doing is the difference between life and death for people protesting in Lagos.
That barest minimum is why people can walk on the streets of Ibadan with their full chest while most of us are protesting online.
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there’s no reason to eat buns, if we’re being honest. it shouldn’t exist.
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I want to see consequences for all these sexual predators who pose as pastors.
Yes, there's forgiveness in Christ but prison walls cannot separate you from God's love either.
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I have a theory 👀
because we were raised to believe “men are the logical gender and women are the emotional gender (derogatory)”, a lot of girls took developing their intellectual capacity seriously to “match up” with the boys while the boys didn’t see a need to.
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people are starting to optimise their lives for other things than “the top” and I’m with it.
success is personal.
Unpopular opinion: you can’t remote work or freelance your way to the top.
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one of the biggest problems of poverty is how it limits a person’s thinking.
everything in the world will feel expensive to you so you don’t even try. you can’t fathom possibilities because you can’t see how to afford them.
even when they’re almost free.
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Me that I’m very fragile. If you shout on me once laidis, resignation letter straight.
I’ll go back to my village and plant vegetable. 😭
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Using lame words like She-E-O, mompreneur, Girl boss, etc in the name of women empowerment.
What’s something that feels like feminism, but *isn’t* actually feminism?
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Those are verbs, sis.
Them: What are your pronouns?
Me: SAVED/SANCTIFIED/FILLED
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I admire fiction writers and storytellers so much. creatives, generally.
creating cohesive, believable worlds out of your imagination is magical.
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and no, I don’t mean “handsome”
I mean beautiful as in pretty face
as in softer features
as in kind eyes and kind soul
as in strong, sleeper build
as in smart as a whip
as in emotionally and socially intelligent
as in pro women
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we’re adults now, there’s nothing cool about being irresponsible.
tardiness, drinking and driving, overindulging in unhealthy habits, lack of communication, etc.
live your life but all of these affect other people negatively so I don’t rate people who consistently indulge.
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“I like how your mind works”
until I disagree with you. sorry nau 🥹
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Nigeria, as a collective, is holding her breath.
may we exhale to peace.
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arrest his parents too 🙏🏾
If you cannot talk, I will talk!!
Goodluck Bisong is not 15, he is 17yrs old. His father is currently pleading for his release. The father deliberately reduced his age so he would be seen as a minor and pardoned.
He was expelled from his former school for stealing and
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so difficult to hate on the lovers cos y’all are complying with the reporting format and it’s so cuteeee.
happy valentines’ day to all who celebrate, ìfẹ́ yín á d'alẹ́ o.
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Nigerian proposals are the funniest lmao, people would have done family introduction and picked wedding date. They’ll nau come and do public proposal and pictures.
lmao pls pls and pls. 😭
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if you’re a feminist woman on this app who dates men, I need you to know that there are men out there who have mastered progressive language and talking points but who don’t care for it.
they merely use it as a tool to get in your pants, and eventually ruin your life.
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one thing I’ve learned recently is that you actually have to give your friends a chance to be there for you.
friendships are stronger when people feel needed. it’s a show of trust when you ask for help. and it’ll help you to see value in the friendship.
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let’s be calming down too, some of these people are regular people who really moved for better opportunities.
stereotyping an entire population can get dangerous, real quick.
Gate man, bike man, suya man, water man, pepper man, suya man. They know us in and out. They control our food, water, transportation and security. Hmmm
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I just constantly feel like I don't know how to exist in this world.
Like it's too fast, too noisy, too demanding, for me.
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whatever role you get in your career, I wish you really good managers.
a lot rides on good leadership.
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did I handle that situation well? could I have been kinder? more honest?
What is one question you ask yourself all the time & answer honestly to yourself?
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I'm so grateful that women are no longer feeling ashamed to talk about things that have been hushed - periods, sex, PCOS, miscarriages, pregnancies, etc.
Especially periods.
I've learned so much about my body and felt so validated because of these conversations on this app.
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“I’m a strict babe”, yes but why only in your interpersonal relationships and not in the operations of your own life?
in this essay, I will discuss the difference between self awareness, self governance and relational discipline.
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plenty money I didn't work for. 🙏
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we need a sharwarma regulatory body in Nigeria tbh. the atrocities!
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just want to say that living below your means is a very privileged “hack”. I’d like for us to acknowledge that.
thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
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didn’t start out intentionally but my book reading is now 80% books written by women.
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can I say something? I’m not mad at people coming up with new “swallow” ideas, whether for their nutrition or for their enjoyment.
it’s ingenious and trying different stuff is how humans come about delicacies.
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a feature, not a flaw.
for a thing does not really live if it cannot die.
I think the biggest flaw about life is death. The unpredictability and finality of it is just too jarring
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I actually think that “no go warm eba chop” is good advice because hunger does impair judgement and clear thinking.
and this implies an already cooked meal that only needs reheating so it’s a quick fix to an apparent problem.
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crying. pls let’s talk about the economyyyy, particularly the quality of toilet roll!!!
once you open this app like this
if he doesn’t…
a man that loves you…
to be loved…
consideration is the highest…
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I love the concept of hugs mahn.
with many things in life, you can be a giver or taker. hugs are one of those things that make you both, at the same time.
such a wonderful concept of exchanging comfort and pleasure.
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*May I kiss you?
can - speaks to ability
may - seeks permission
“Can I kiss you?”….a lot of women don’t like that question and I wonder why.
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people who don’t want to get married can also want and have a long term, exclusive romantic partnership.
both things can be true.
Unpopular relationships opinions that would get you in this position?
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please sir, with all due respect, talk to God, a therapist and an exorcist.
stay rapturable. 💕
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the feminine urge to fill your bag/purse with things, “just in case someone needs it”.
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“the men that like you are a bit scared of you.”
as they should be 🤣🫵🏾
“I liked her gentle temperament”
this is why as a woman, you must be known for chaos every now and then.
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I really really love that women are talking about topics we generally avoid - pregnancy, how much they hate choosing between career and family, how they’re not keen on motherhood, losing babies, abuse.
They said, “this shame is not mine to carry.”
Women >>>>>>>>>>>>>>
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Here’s to the women that nobody is proud of. It’s your day too.
Happy International women’s day 🥂
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my English becomes extremely refined when I’m angry. 😭
I think I’m Yoruba when I’m angry. So when I speak while angry, some words automatically come out in Yoruba coz often there’s no English word that’s heavy enough for what I’m trying to say. Does this happen to anyone else? Bilingual and multilingual people
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realizing that one of the ways I express care is curiosity. I want to know how anything and everything makes you feel, what you think, what you hope. everything.
a good pointer for when I don’t care for a thing or person is when I stop asking questions.
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I know a lot of the advice telling that woman to go back to her relationship is a joke, thankfully.
but I need more women to come to terms with the fact that “choosing better” can mean choosing to be alone.
it is surely better to be alone than to be with most men out there.
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you report a Nigerian church for noise pollution, not realizing you’re stroking their persecution kink.
“the gates of hell must not prevail, our praises must rise louder than their policies”.
these churches’ actions are unbecoming of the Christ they claim to follow but ok.
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we’re talking about the physical implications of pregnancy and childbirth on women, you’re coming to tell me that men make sacrifices as fathers too.
If you don’t exit my visual range!!!
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the answer is consent, weirdos.
What's the meaning of "I'm a slut but on my own terms"
Explain to me like I'm 5.
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*Woman tweets about a side effect of pregnancy she experienced*
Other women: Wow, why didn't they teach these things? 😩
Random man: don't be scared, child birth is a gift. It's not usually this bad.
How about you collect the gift too??? Eh, Chinedu, birth the child then!!
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and the reason feminists are against “Not All Men™️” is NOT because men are inherently evil. it is because men are socialised towards misogyny and we cannot tell which men are going to harm you. these are two different things.
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I had this male colleague who always made covert sexual comments and would immediately follow it up with, “I’m just joking o, before you goan report me for harassment.”
clocked that these weird ass pigs know what they’re doing.
Yes. Had a disgusting conversation a couple weeks back and man, men really take the piss.
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there’s a disdain with which men talk about women, even in jokes and casual conversations that is so terrifying.
as if « girl » or « woman » is an inherently flawed, inferior thing to be.
this is how they are raised and it seeps into everything. every thing.
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I feel the need to tell you people that I’m the Ore she was referring to. 🥹
I have a soft spot for Ore. She was our first employee and she really really helped us till she moved to KPMG. When KPMG asked me for a recommendation. I added extra sheet and wrote a glowing review. To be honest, we’ve been very lucky with people
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Hm they’ve increased their sound again. it’s not as loud as it was previously but it’s still disturbing.
thank goodness the LASEPA agent gave me the license to call anytime.
one day, I’ll carry loud speaker there and play incantations. let’s all be foolish.
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Special shout-out to all the unruly women. The ones who won’t stay in line. The ones who push the boundaries. The ones who stand at the edge and make it the middle.
Love you rascals, keep it up.
Happy international women’s day.
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“anarchy looms”
Hello writers,
If you're writing a poem about Nigeria.
What will the first line be?😌
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if you have the opportunity as a recent graduate, please seek employment in structured orgs and those that invest in training and evaluation.
it’s sad that the economy forces many to start careers as freelancers/ entrepreneurs but if you get the opportunity, please go for it.
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I’ve seen tweets about the price of deodorants in response to this but we often forget that a LOT of people in Lagos do not have access to potable water in their homes so they have to ration.
if you’re out in the sun all day, sweating, can’t shower often, can’t afford . . .
Man, artisans have to start showering.
We can’t continue like this.
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apparently, asking for few hours off work to attend your child’s graduation party is a threat to masculinity.
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