Olivia Dade
@OliviaWrites
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Author of bawdy romcoms with a big ♥. She/her. Repped by @seyitsme . My newsletter: .
Hussy Central
Joined July 2014
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🍓🍓 TODAY'S THE DAY! LET'S GET PETTY! 🍓🍓
My ex’s judgy older bro (39m) convinced him to dump me (37f). Now I'm broke & live in the 10-ft-wide Spite House next door. If I blast monsterfucking audiobooks or tell MLM reps that older bro wants to host Tupperware parties, AITA?
AMZ:
B&N:
Kobo:
iBooks:
Google:
Other links:
The Ripped Bodice:
Love’s Sweet Arrow:
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R.E.M. had indicated I would feel better at this particular juncture in world history
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I wonder what it's like to be a cishet white man who's reached the absolute top tier of his chosen profession, yet still feels oppressed by the incremental, insufficient, long-overdue gains of marginalized people in said profession 🤔
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For fuck's sake, publishers, if a main character's supposed to be fat, MAKE THEM FAT ON THE COVER. It's 2022, and I'm tired of this shit.
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HOW I IMAGINE 1980s ROMANCE PUBLISHING PHONE CALLS
Editor: Are his kisses sufficiently punishing
Author: You know it
Editor: She has violet eyes, naturally
Author: Of course
Editor: Does he call her a little fool at some point
Author:
Editor: Dammit, Barb, read your contract
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Please don't say romance is a genre by & for women. That erases so many crucial members of our community--cis men, yes, but also trans & nonbinary writers & readers. They've said again and again that we're hurting them with that (overly broad & inaccurate) claim, so stop already.
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Only. One. Island. 🔥
AMZ:
B&N:
Kobo:
iBooks:
Google:
The Ripped Bodice:
Love’s Sweet Arrow:
I (25f) fucked the thick-thighed Viking (36m) of my dreams & left before he woke up, figuring I'd never see him again...& now we're filming together on a desolate Irish island for 6 yrs, & he's surly as hell. AITA?
Actually, fuck that. I made him 0 promises. I'm NTA, *he's* TA.
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Alex is a falling star. Lauren's job is to catch him. But what happens when a no-nonsense woman meets a way-too-charming pain in the ass?
Expect chaos. Filthy fanfic. Also: true love. ♥
To preorder, here's where to go!
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My ex-fiancé’s judgy older bro (39m) convinced him to dump me (37f). Now I'm broke, jobless, & have to live in the 10-ft-wide Spite House next door. If I were to play monsterfucking audiobooks at top volume or tell MLM reps that older bro wants to host Tupperware parties, AITA?
AMZ:
B&N:
Kobo:
iBooks:
Google:
Other links:
The Ripped Bodice:
Love’s Sweet Arrow:
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romance math: thousands of Regency rakes with zero STIs
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Also, I wish authority figures still rewarded me for my obsessive reading with personal pan pizzas
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I can finally announce the amazing news I've been sitting on for months! This spring, I wrote a hot, funny, action-y side project for the sheer joy of it, based on a 1-word, all-caps note in my Story Ideas file: ZOMROMCOM. And now it's the 1st in a 3-book series with
@BerkleyPub
!
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I'm a 43-year-old woman, and every month, I'm still Hercule Fucking Poirot trying to solve the mystery of why my back is hurting for no reason and I'm breaking out all of a sudden, and now my lower belly feels kind of crampy and--
Oh.
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Want to see my gorgeous cover? Because it makes me so very happy every time I look at it. 🥰
AMZ:
B&N:
Kobo:
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Goodreads:
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Mom called me, crying. She's on her way to urgent care, because things are settling in her chest and she's had a fever and cough for a week and she's scared, and fuck. FUCK.
I hope in an hour, I can tell you she's been tested and had a chest x-ray, but IDK. I just don't know.
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For all people call Twitter a hellsite, this place has taught me to be kinder & more thoughtful than I was before I joined, because it exposed me to so many people whose lives were different than mine and illuminated countless areas where I was underinformed or entirely ignorant.
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I (25f) fucked the thick-thighed Viking (36m) of my dreams & left before he woke up, figuring I'd never see him again...& now we're filming together on a desolate Irish island for 6 yrs, & he's surly as hell. AITA?
Actually, fuck that. I made him 0 promises. I'm NTA, *he's* TA.
I would love for authors with 2022 releases to do those Reddit based tweets of their books. (Please feel free to ignore if you don’t have time/inclination). I just remember the last time this happened, my TBR exploded.
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Your refusal to do so tells me you don't think fat people can be part of a beautiful cover and/or you think fat people on covers don't sell books. If it's the former, you have some hard thinking to do about fatphobia. If it's the latter, HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF TALIA HIBBERT?
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"In Romancelandia, non-HEA offenses are considered especially heinous. The dedicated detectives that investigate these vicious offenses are members of an elite squad known as the Special Ghost-Boyfriend Detection Unit. These are their stories."
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THIS IS JUST TO SAY
I’m revealing
the news
that has been
in the works
about which
you were probably
tired of
me hinting
Forgive me
it is delicious
so sweet
and so hot 🔥
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Fat people still don't get to see themselves loved and living happily ever after on the page that often, so when a book finally gives that to us, please let us see ourselves on the cover too. Jeez.
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romance math is 4 brothers/gambling hell partners/Navy SEALS/werewolf alphas/aliens with blue ridged dicks/etc. falling in love at startlingly regular intervals, one after another
romance math is thinking one time can get it out of their system
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When I traveled for several weeks (which meant my husband cared for our preteen alone), he met me at the airport with this sign, which he'd designed and printed as a celebration of my accomplishments as a writer.
He's now hung the sign in his office, so he can see it every day.
Plz send heartwarming stories of straight male partners supporting your creative endeavors. Hungry for a story that isn't "I achieved unprecedented professional success and my relationship was never the same."
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Okay, so. One of the dreams I've kept closest to my heart is coming true, and I'm so very happy. 🥰
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Avon asked me to write about fat representation in romance, & I could have written from a more removed perspective--but instead I went personal.
This is why fat representation in romance matters to me specifically, as both a reader and writer.
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I should also note that this book contains more sex than I've written in a long, long, loooong time. Each time a tweet declaring graphic sexual content unnecessary went viral, I added more orgasms. 😂
I can finally announce the amazing news I've been sitting on for months! This spring, I wrote a hot, funny, action-y side project for the sheer joy of it, based on a 1-word, all-caps note in my Story Ideas file: ZOMROMCOM. And now it's the 1st in a 3-book series with
@BerkleyPub
!
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When I first started working the reference desk at the public library, my coworker Lydia told me some patrons would be MOA--Mad On Arrival. She said in many cases, nothing I could possibly do would suffice to make those patrons happy, because their anger wasn't ABOUT me.
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There's some real irony in writing a book that explores depression & how hard things can be during a depressive episode...& then having a hard time promoting it because you're depressed & things feel very hard. 😅
But I am incredibly proud of AT FIRST SPITE, so I'll try my best!
AMZ:
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Other links:
The Ripped Bodice:
Love’s Sweet Arrow:
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I read a book where the male MC rips off the female MC's panties and throws them over his shoulder...then, roughly two pages later, removes her panties by tugging them down her legs.
In my headcanon, she's a witch just fucking with him via Magically Regenerating Panties.
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Just a gentle reminder: Using the word "clean" to indicate that your character doesn't have an STD is implying, however inadvertently, that everyone with chlamydia, everyone who's HIV+, etc. is...dirty.
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SPOILER ALERT--my ♥ letter to fandom, fatness, & found family--is here!
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I have eight (8) extra copies of my U.S. paperback ARC for SPOILER ALERT. :-)
If you'd like one of those copies (I'll sign and mail it to you), please reply to this tweet by 6/20, noon ET. I'll pick winners at random!
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The whole Steve Kornacki thing: competence porn. Pure, uncut competence porn, and that's absolute catnip for many of us in Romancelandia.
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Not on my bingo card for today: being propositioned by a very large body of water 😂😍
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Reaching this list was my next big author goal. When I saw Celestine's tweet, I started crying in joy.
Thank you to everyone who made this happen. I am so grateful for my readers, now and always.
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I don't know how to write happy endings today for people being inexorably stripped of bodily autonomy and personhood
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I think about this tweet every time. Every. Time.
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HERE WE GO! 😊
AMZ:
Kobo:
iBooks:
Google:
🎾Vacation romance!
🎾Older woman, younger man!
🎾Fat rep!
🎾Tennis made 🔥!
🎾Buckets o' banter!
🎾My first full-length book since TEACH ME!
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Mr. D, once again displaying an enormous amount of Big THAT'S MY WIFE!!! Energy. 😂😍
I mean, he has two copies of my book in his cubicle. Not one. TWO.
Why two? I have no idea, but he's ALL IN.
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I'm literally blinking back tears. I love it SO MUCH. ♥♥♥
Mr. D: "She really looks like Tess!"
I'm no stranger to cosplay, but I've never cosplayed a book character before! Good thing I already had everything I needed and there's a strong resemblance! Tess from 40 Love by
@OliviaWrites
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Whenever my husband plays badminton, I love telling him to practice hard so he can move on to passableminton or even, eventually, goodminton
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The fact that he has not yet divorced me after one of these incidents says good things about him, I feel
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Some people use the word "overweight" because they think it's kinder than "fat," but--in my view--it's really not. "Overweight" means there is an acceptable maximum weight, and you're above it. It's inherently a pejorative. (1/2)
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As I just said to a friend: I think some authors are like Nutella: deliciously appealing to a very broad range of people. And then there are authors who are more like cilantro: beloved by some, reviled by others.
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Alex is a falling star. Lauren's job is to catch him. But what happens when a no-nonsense woman meets a way-too-charming pain in the ass?
Expect chaos. Filthy fanfic. Also: true love. ♥
ALL THE FEELS is here!
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Just to clarify, both the main characters in this one are:
🌟 fat
🌟 hot (in general, and for each other)
🌟 stubborn as hell
🌟 essentially trapped on a desolate Irish island together for six lust-choked years
I cannot WAIT for you to see the cover. 🔥
🌟SHIP WRECKED is now up for preorder!🌟
AMZ:
B&N:
Kobo:
iBooks:
Google:
The Ripped Bodice:
Love’s Sweet Arrow:
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Just a reminder to all authors: Bloggers are not obligated to like your books, regardless of whether you send them an ARC. The fact that they're willing to spend their time even attempting to read your work, when there are millions of books out there, is a privilege.
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Well, the fucking inevitable has happened. At little D's tiny school, which she legally had to attend, and which practiced zero social distancing or mask-wearing, most of her teachers have now tested positive for COVID, and one of those teachers even came to school with a cough.
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Neutral news: A flu test was negative.
Bad news: They couldn't test her for COVID-19.
Good--very good--news: Her chest x-ray was okay, at least for now.
Mom's back home resting, & I've made her promise to get a COVID-19 test at the ER if she gets worse. It's the best we can do.
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The greatest lie '90s romcoms ever told us: that J Garofalo was somehow terribly ugly--so ugly she pretended to be someone else with her love interest!--compared to U Thurman, when both women were freaking LUMINOUS.
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In case you're interested: SHIP WRECKED is now up on both Edelweiss and NetGalley. 😊
Edelweiss:
NG:
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SHIP WRECKED has officially washed ashore!
***
Only. One. Island. 🔥
AMZ:
B&N:
Kobo:
iBooks:
The Ripped Bodice:
Love’s Sweet Arrow:
I (25f) fucked the thick-thighed Viking (36m) of my dreams & left before he woke up, figuring I'd never see him again...& now we're filming together on a desolate Irish island for 6 yrs, & he's surly as hell. AITA?
Actually, fuck that. I made him 0 promises. I'm NTA, *he's* TA.
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Me: I *could* read 1 of the 600+ books on my Kindle--
Kindle TBR: ohpleaseohplease
Me: --or 1 of my many unread paperbacks--
Paperback TBR: THIS IS OUR MOMENT
Me: --but hear me out, MAYBE--
Kindle: oh shit
Me: --INSTEAD--
PBs: motherfucker
Me: --I'll buy new books!
TBRs: [weep]
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Ummm...I wasn't on the original list? Does this mean people wrote in SPOILER ALERT? Enough people to send me to the next round?
Because I think that's what must have happened, and I'm crying, because...thank you. Thank you. ♥
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I think this is making me so incandescently angry because I have vivid memories of working at the library and witnessing firsthand how his books literally, physically crowded out so many other authors, most of whom didn't have either his privilege or his established platforms.
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I wrote a very personal essay for Scary Mommy about how motherhood & writing romances with fat characters helped me find a new, far less painful vocabulary to describe my body. I'm really proud of the essay, & if you'd like to read it, here's where to go!
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Also, if you don't already know why the phrase "reverse harem" is very problematic, get thee to Google! I know it's a marketing term, but that doesn't excuse the perpetuation of orientalism. As a genre, we can do better, and we should.
"Why choose" is way better. WAY better.
Every time I see 'reverse age gap' or 'reverse grumpy x sunshine' I take psychic damage. Pls stop gendering tropes 😭😭
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11-yo just strutted into my office in a bizarre mishmash of clothing and said, "This is my wedding outfit"--she held up her hand to display her enormous plastic ring--"with the ring I bought me, because I’m the best and should marry the best."
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My fiancé’s rigid, judgy older bro (39m) convinced him to dump me (37f), & now I'm broke, jobless, & have nowhere to live but the 10-ft-wide Spite House next door. If I were to, say, play monsterfucking audiobooks at top volume or tell Tupperware reps he'll host a party, AITA?
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I am writing my messiest female MC ever, and I mean that both literally and metaphorically.
I hope I can make readers love her as much as I do.
(She's also angry. Like, really angry.)
(And depressed.)
(Yes, I'm doing my best to make this still a romcom, hahahasob.)
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I have eleven (11!!!) extra copies of the UK version of SPOILER ALERT. It's in English, as you might imagine. 😂
If you'd like one of those copies (I'll sign and mail it to you), please reply to this tweet by 6/20, noon ET. I'll pick winners at random!
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Romance math: If a character is nauseated, 98% of the time the cause is either poisoning or pregnancy, not a virus or food gone bad
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Me: [views]
Me, 2.8 seconds later: [sends link to husband]
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He might work hard and deserve a large audience, but to be in that rarefied position and still resent the gains of people who are fighting and have fought desperately to be heard despite often-virulent bigotry? Fuck you, JPatz.
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TFW you get all three books in a trilogy and binge-read them...only to realize it's meant to be a FIVE-book series
and the main couple hasn't even gotten together yet
and they're still in mortal danger
...and the third book (AKA the final available book) came out in 2018 😭
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I wish I could make some of my loved ones understand that I don't need advice when I'm struggling, just love.
If they think I haven't already told myself what I should have done/be doing a million times already, much more harshly than they ever could, they'd be...incorrect.
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My other good news: I'm scheduled for my first vaccination next week!
From what I can tell, we can't get the second dose for a looooooong time, but one is much better than none, right? :-)
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I did one thing that made me very, very happy this month. I hope you love it too. ♥
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I'm devastated by this, frankly. I am relieved, though, that I randomly woke up at 3 a.m. and had a chance to say goodbye. If I'd slept through the night and found a dead, inaccessible website in the morning, I'd have been heartbroken.
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Sometimes I just want a mom--not even MY mom, necessarily, just a reassuring, loving mom--to fix me a snack and tell me everything's going to be okay and I'll feel better after a good night's sleep.
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I went to the mat for this item, because I knew Leni would create an image that would be ineffably me, but also incredibly lovely. On a hard day, seeing myself like this is good for my heart in ways I can't quite describe.
Thank you so very much,
@lenikauffman
. ♥♥♥
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Just thinking back on all the zero times conservatives urged their supporters to reach out to liberals and progressives like me
Good zero times, good zero times
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While I was napping just now, I dreamed I was unexpectedly pregnant. My disgruntlement immediately woke me up, and I realized: I'd DNFed my own dream because of a surprise pregnancy plotline. 😂😂😂
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And finally, I have seven (7) extra copies of my U.S. paperback ARC for ALL THE FEELS. :-)
If you'd like one of those copies (I'll sign and mail it to you), please reply to this tweet by 6/20, noon ET. I'll pick winners at random!
Good luck, everyone! ♥♥♥
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I did take a photo of me with the book that I really, really love. :-)
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My fiancé’s rigid, judgy older bro (39m) convinced him to dump me (37f), & now I'm broke, jobless, & have nowhere to live but the 10-ft-wide Spite House next door. If I were to, say, play monsterfucking audiobooks at top volume or tell local churches he wants to convert, AITA?
I would love for authors with 2022 releases to do those Reddit based tweets of their books. (Please feel free to ignore if you don’t have time/inclination). I just remember the last time this happened, my TBR exploded.
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I just got back from a 5-week trip to the U.S., including 1 1/2 weeks in Hawaii. (Which was *amazing.*) While I was away, I had a revelation, and I have to share the good news:
My crone-ification is almost complete! Here's how I know:
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"OH NO, NOW MY PROJECTS ONLY TAKE UP 23% OF EVERY LIBRARY'S COLLECTION DEVELOPMENT BUDGET"
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You know what this means: more unapologetically fat people getting their happily-ever-afters.
Also: more dick jokes!
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✨FULL COVER REVEAL!✨
My gorgeous, old-school dust jacket illustrated by
@lenikauffman
is finished and ready for printing! To claim yours (and a signed bookplate), just pre-order AT FIRST SPITE from
@lovessweetarrow
by 11:59 PM ET on 12/31: . :-)
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Have I plotted a novella whose male MC will--in looks, at least--closely resemble present-day Brendan Fraser?
Who can say, really. Who can say. 🔥
Brendan Fraser upcoming projects:
• The Whale (dir: Darren Aronofsky)
• Killers of the Flower Moon (dir: Martin Scorsese) - w/ Jesse Plemons, Leonardo DiCaprio
• Brothers (dir: Max Barbakow) - w/ Glenn Close, Peter Dinklage
• Batgirl (dir: Adil El Arbi and Bilall Fallah)
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Them: start your story with a bang!
Me: challenge accepted
Them: wait, we meant bang as in--
Me: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
Well,
@OliviaWrites
is really starting strong in the first chapter of
#ShipWrecked
! 👀 👀 First line, really!
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MY DUST JACKET! IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL! ::sobs:: 🥹
**While supplies last, if you preorder the SHIP WRECKED paperback from
@lovessweetarrow
, you will receive not only the exclusive alternate dust jacket with original artwork by Leni Kauffman, but also a signed bookplate.**
Hark! Here be the link! 🥰
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Just to say: If AOC tell you again and again they don't want a separate RITA category (i.e., segregation), and you, a white woman, keep insisting it's a great idea, and then get offended when told otherwise--
Yes, you really can go fuck yourself. And yes, feel free to leave RWA.
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I think my own books might have helped me in that moment?
Maybe I can't write lovingly about fat people's bodies without thinking of my own fat body more lovingly too. Which is yet another revelation.
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😭🥺😍
@OliviaWrites
I'm pretty sure you wrote this book for me and my boyfriend and I wanted to show you for Valentine's Day. ❤
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🌟My gorgeous cover.🌟
AMZ:
B&N:
Kobo:
iBooks:
The Ripped Bodice:
Love’s Sweet Arrow:
All hail
@lenikauffman
, my amazing illustrator!
Alex is a falling star. Lauren's job is to catch him. But what happens when a no-nonsense woman meets a way-too-charming pain in the ass?
Expect chaos. Filthy fanfic. Also: true love. ♥
To preorder, here's where to go!
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No one:
Me: Also
No one:
Me: People who say Twitter doesn't sell books don't know what the fuck they're talking about; like 90% of my sales before this summer were because of Twitter
No one:
Me: In this essay, I will--
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Well, I’m not *precisely* glamorous, but I hope my joy in unboxing my finished copies of SPOILER ALERT is obvious. 😊
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Extremely dismayed to report that spending extra time and effort on my newsletters has resulted in greater engagement and a higher percentage of subscribers opening my missives, which means I will, unfortunately, have to keep investing said time and effort ::shakes head sadly::
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One of my fave romance moments: When one MC sees the other at their absolute worst, grooming-wise, & thinks, "Awww yeah, I want all up in THAT."
Makeover moments in stories, I find harder to love, but I know I'm in the minority there, and I'm glad those bits work for many. :-)
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I was on a panel today with three wonderful authors, one of whom was Jayne Ann Krentz. I've been reading her work...forever? I remember when she wrote series romances as Jayne Castle for Candlelight Ecstasy Romance and as JAK for Harlequin Temptation.
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We're buying a new apartment with a view of the water! By "new," I mean "it's still being built," and by "view of the water," I mean:
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Last night, Mr. D told me about his former Swedish coworker, who'd accepted a contract in the U.S. and intended to sublet his apartment. A woman came by to take a look and determine whether she wanted to rent it.
He never went to the U.S. The two are still married. ROMANCE! 😍
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40-LOVE is here! 🥰
Amazon:
Kobo:
iBooks:
Google Play:
🎾Vacation romance!
🎾Older woman, younger man!
🎾Fat rep!
🎾Tennis made 🔥!
🎾SO MUCH BANTER!
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I have a bit of good news to share?
The three books in my There's Something About Marysburg series--TEACH ME, 40-LOVE, and SWEETEST IN THE GALE--are going to be in audio through
@TantorAudio
, and I'm so excited! 🥰
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