TheGrassyNoel
@NoelCastanza
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Following
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Divinely Inspired & Spiritually Motivated Pronouns : Billionaire & Playboy #SheepDog
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Joined April 2023
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Former street kid, Isaac Jomo Osman has been elected deputy mayor for Blantyre City.
In reaction to his election Jomo Osman of Democratic Progressive Party (DPP) has assured of sanity and security for residents.
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These guys get into office and start wearing shades like Stevie Wonder to let you know they are blind to our troubles
Smh
Dr Michael Usi the current President of UTM and Vice President of Malawi wont be contesting for any position at the up coming UTM elective Convention
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Imagine filling a picnic basket with KFC and driving to Kamuzu view or where ever and then some chick telling her friends you're a lame
😆😆😆😆😆
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I just want to know who thought a vuvuzela would add to the credibility of the video?
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42 years on earth
I think i'm finally getting a hang of it
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Stay away from low vibrational topics and tweets
Gender wars.
Racism.
Revealing clothing.
Body counts.
Girlfriend allowance.
Everyone intuitively knows right and wrong
Don't pollute your mental diet
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The Malawian dream is getting a job with dollar based salary and a company 4×4 and health insurance so you can be air lifted to India or South africa with diabetes related complications from the nsima and sugar based diet
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@WJS_Nyangulu
"Why are we protesting"
Are you part of the protests?
Why not start your own protest addressing whatever issue you take issue with instead of trying to recommend what those who put in the effort to organise should do?
#PrioritiesIndeed
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Can't even take a girl for a milkshake or ice cream cone these days?
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Gentlemen
The gender war is fake
Its on social media only
Enter real life
Get your act together.
Be presentable
Introduce yourself to that lady
Stop watching porn.
Sex isn't even that good when it lasts that long.
Let nature take its course.
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And we never see you chicks out in these places .........
Maybe we go on different nights?
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Some one tell thatTiko guy there's a vacancy
After driving multiple British High Commissioners over the past 25 years, the wonderful Alfred is turning off 1CD1’s engine for the final time today. Can’t tell you how much I and the 🇬🇧 🇲🇼 team are going to miss him ❤️ Enjoy your retirement Alfred!
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We do not speak ill of the dead because funerals are for the living, not for the deceased
Its a matter of class
And only those of low class fail to acknowledge this
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Embarrassing
Cheap theatrics to look active
Shes late because they are all overworked & underpaid
all the resources they are supposed to have to make them have just even the basic job satisfaction are diverted to those whole steal from government coffers by your colleagues
Vice President Usi paid a surprise visit to government offices in Chikwawa today. 🎥
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@Durrell_U
My kids have been the top readers in their class since primary school reading at the speed and complexity of books of university students
They've also broken the records of IGCSE results in Africa
Don't worry about me and mine.
There is no competition
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Ladies
Are you sure you can even keep up with the sort of person who will meet your so called standards?
Do you have the intellectual depth to hold conversations with someone able to spend people's entire salaries on a night of fine dining ?
Coz seeing some of your tweets....
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Talk about the cart before the horse
ICT for students who don't even have chairs
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Do prostitutes on street corners dress for the weather, for their own comfort, or to advertise their commodity?
When men say that a woman's dressing can be sexually provocative (
@sundaysoireemw
issue), I come to conclude one thing; such men are sexually depraved. They can't stand a lady in a miniskirt without having inappropriate sexual thoughts. Can you survive in a strip club, koma?
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In a country where the majority of the people survive on less than a dollar a day, having price requirements on dates as a lady is counter productive.
Notice I said as a lady
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Does it look like you can educate me on financial matters?
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My new Hiking Hat with solar powered air-conditioned has arrived
.......Now we wait for sunshine
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The new age agenda has gone too far
Now this guy is delivering an empty trailer but identifies as actually having goods
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Don't ever speak negatively about yourself
Don't ever say you are too weak or too dumb
Rather say you have *yet to become strong enough, or you have *yet to become smart enough
Your subconscious is always listening & it can't tell the difference between the truth & bad talk
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Imagine going through the misfortune of going broke then your chick leaving you coz you are broke
A pay as you go chick
What's the other name for that?
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Your dream guy was going to take you for freezes and a milk scone and in 30 years you'll be clapping at your kids graduation from Oxford and flying back first class
But he spent his start up capital taking you to 21 Grill and RSVP
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We could turn Cape Maclear into a gambling and hospitality haven in Africa like Macau
...........but maize is more important
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A mistake that humbles you is more valuable than an achievement that increases your arrogance
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Look deep into my expensive shades lenses and tell me why you are late........don't mention the fact that my car convoy probably delayed traffic
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Niggas are still attacking women on social media in 2024?
Smh
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Who told Malawians sitting in the back seat is respectful?
The messenger at the office isn't feeling well, so I'm driving him home
Now he is in the back of my benz looking like he's the boss
S.h
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In about 6 months we should have a conversation about why the FIFA president was allowed to come to the funeral house
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I would go to the Soire thing but people would get tired of my jokes about them getting their grand mother to sew them blouses out of table cloths 🤔
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You can grow summer time crops in the winter if you grow them out of the cold ground in elevated pots or bags
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One day you're going to look back at this period in your life and the most difficult obstacles you are currently facing will have taught you lessons of toughness, softeness, tolerance, resistance and even acceptance.
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Katt Williams !!!!!
This nigga just said to Shannon Sharp after he's been defending Steve Harvey, Rickey Smiley and Faison Luv "You having an unnatural allegiance to losers is not like you"
Thats the coldest line of the year
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Rich people send their daughters to prestigious institutions so they are more likely to meet wealthy suitors and marry rich men
If you don't know this it's because you are poor
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They turned my son back from depositing in the bank coz he is a minor!
This is why kids today are useless.
I used to go pay our school fees with a cheque fastened by a safety pin in my jacket pocket at age 9
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@wesleylots
Standards are the things you regularly do
These girls have hopes and dreams
It's like dating people from the make a wish foundation
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Remember for the enemy to win, you need to be unmotivated
Social media is being used to magnify pessimism and over report negative content
The world hasn't changed.
Your perspective has
The world has always been like this.
Sink or swim
And we need to get to swimming
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My neighbours always peeping out the curtains when I'm in the garden........so I put on a show
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Dude is playing Fifa and watching the Euros on his phone
Smh
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Moving out of your parents' home age 18 is a sign of intergenerational poverty
Wealthy people have habits that maximise wealth creation
Paying rent when you can stay with your parents is financially unsound
Live with them as long as possible
I haven't seen people calling each other out for living with parents. What happened?
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Why is everyone at the soiree dressed like a broke Johnny Depp?
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We are more upset at people pointing out the problems than the people responsible for the problems?
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Parents of transgenders be like
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Do not try to befriend everyone
Do not socialise with people who tell you that your dreams can not be actualised
Meet the others
Socialise with those who will suggest ways in which you can actualise your dreams
Those are your people
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This is why I don't like helping people out
They now think you have adopted them
Dude says he has lost his phone and asks if I have a spare?
Who the fuck has a spare phone?
Then says he's going to check the price of second hand phones & will tell me
Tell me???
Tell me what?
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If you are engaging in sexual activity with someone and receiving payment in goods, money, or kind, it's an already defined occupation, and I dont know why people get offended by being classified as said occupation
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Any dudes on the time line with a picture of their teenage selves with a picture of their mum and she's in a bathing suit?
Oh really?
Why not?
Chimidzi.
No nigga.
Coz we are a conservative society
People raise their eyebrows at pictures that aren't the norm.
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If someone truly had their lives together, would they be bragging about it on social media.
Everyone on here is fucked up and lost 🤣🤣🤣
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May your negative thoughts, excessive worries, and crippling doubts be replaced with clarity, certainty, and an abundance of love
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You hear that gents.
You must be a lawyer, doctor, policeman, garbage collector, soldier, plumber, spiritual leader, finance manager, career planner, scholar, all for her............coz she.......is just a regular chick
Your job as a man is to make sure she never needs another man again 🤞🏽
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Malawinshould drop the kwacha and make Bitcoin its legal tender
This is the only way to escape the clutches of the IMF and have a future
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Niggas with no known achievements demanding standards
Sensational
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They still let you drive home after paying the fine
So, how can it be about saving lives?
As a country, why have we normalized drinking and driving so much.? To the point that we hate breathalyzers as if they are not there to safeguard people's lives. Why is being fined for risking yourself and other people seem as a big problem.
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@Mr_BTz
Because restocking will be more expensive.
If they sold a chocolate bar that they imported at zar 10 @ 64 it cost them
mk6 400
To restock it will now cost
mk 9 200
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Decrease your expenses
Increase your financial understanding
Expand your income streams
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People stealing from the countries coffers and your children's future
Then they openly show you pictures in luxury cars and locations, and you worship them like the second coming
Then tweet about how fuel and forex shortages are killing you
You deserve what you get
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No matter how yesterday went, today is a new day to be excited about and to achieve amazing things.
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Separate yourself from negativity
Study to occupy your idle mind
Be healthy all the time
Be strong when you can
Difficult circumstances will challenge you
Every decision will not be perfect
Be patient
Succes is on the other side
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My mum didn't think I could carry this log
I told her nothing is impossible
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Here we are, being objectified
We are not pieces of meat
I don’t think men understand how attractive and hotss they look when they dress like this🥵🔥🤌🏾
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we have the memories of goldfish
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Its not bullying unless it is psychologically traumatising for the rest of your days
I went to school in the Khalahari desert
My prefect in 1994 used to have me wake up at 4 am in winter to sit on the toilet to warm it up for when he wanted to take a shit at 5 am
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Women desire attention
Attractive women get attention simply from their looks.
.......Others have to say things
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Niggas with no TPIN being pretty adamant about refugees taking from them 🤔
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Can't buy the bench I want coz I have to buy a wedding gift
These fuckers better stay together forever
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My people in Kenya are saying today they will take their country back
May God guide and protect them
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I'm certain it's a traceable crime sharing images of dead people.on whatsapp
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People who are yet to have kids making fun of someone else's kid?
The karma is doing push ups
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All jokes aside
Now is not the time for panic and hopelessness.
Its time to put aside shallow preferences and hone your skills and abilities to steer clear through the oncoming difficulties
We will prevail, and this will be the adventure of our life time
.....for now
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My dad holding on for dear life as my niece drives
She just got her licence this week
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Let me put on a wavy out fit and make dinner so people can claim I'm stealing recipes from influencers like that Nora lady
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Never take advice on how to be a man from a woman
Dear men, please vent to women. They do Care❤️
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He should have fired the head of the defence force immediately
Since he didn't the shift.of blame has to be on him
The hounrable thing will be to step down
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Just be patient
You're gon get there in a minute
I got vision dawg
You already that nigga
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What is in it for them?
Thats the question we should be asking.
They secretly fly all the way here, stay in places locals have no access to, and don't interact with the general population
Husband did nothing for blacks in America but we should believe their philanthropy here?
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You know how trans men dress as caricatures of women, as in their idea of what a woman is and not actual women?
This dude dresses as a caricature of a freedom fighter
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You get to a certain age where no one is impressed with where you are travelling to and what job you've been promoted into.
The only questions they ask is how are your children and the state of your parents
That should clue you into what really is important in life
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2024 is going to be a defining year for man kind
I hope we find it within ourselves to survive
Its not going to be easy
We will need to develop our spirituality
God be with us
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My attorney advises that I should tell the truth about this, which is I hurt myself playing football with my dog at 2 am.
Any claims from any parties should not be taken seriously
Had an altercation earlier
My problem is I head butt before I punch
Effective......but it has its faults
Also my front teeth took impact, so got to sleep with a gum guard to try make sure they don't get loose
God bless the fool who thinks he can win a fight against me
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Young women have no idea how dynamics change when they get older and can not barter their youthful looks anymore
If your identity and character is based off your looks, you really have no place in the game
Those who try warn them are vilified
You cant be twerking at 50
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I chose the dinner with Jay Z.
Then i left the table as soon as he arrived and tipped the waitress $500k
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