Joe Noakes
@NoeJoakes
Followers
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Following
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Media
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Statuses
1K
Joined August 2020
£3k fine for not wearing a cloth over your face. £10k fine for a group gathering. £0 fine and 12 month suspended sentence for owning 10,000 child porn images, 2 out of 3 caught are spared jail altogether. The state of the system 🥴.
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Just to clarify there is no police barriers or army at the boarder of Portchester don’t believe all you read on social media you fucking numptys.
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Any problems any time talk to each other lads. If your on the listening end always listen and never judge . Look after yourselfs and eacother at all times x.
It’s good to talk gentlemen 💔.
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My job here is done. A brilliant day , some good football on show, and most of all £10,500 raised all for a great cause. Thank you to everyone who’s donated , gifted a raffle prize or helped in one way or another it’s been unreal support 🖤 x.
1/2.‘It couldn’t have gone any better’ – Steve Ramsey’s testimonial raises over £10,500 for Portsmouth charity.@AFCPortchester @WessexLeague @GosportBFC @HWFCOfficial @arancionefans @HampshireFA @PompeyNewsNow @Pompey_Football #pompey.
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They don’t make men like that no more , I’m forever grateful x.
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Planned , Prepped , Executed… couldn’t of done it without you all…. WESSEX CHAMPIONS @gturnbull1974 @neiltomlinson01 @phil_benfield
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That’s me done for the last time…. ACL rebuild , & clear out of both knees mad to think Iv had these two bits floating round in my knee the last month 🤣 thanks for all the get well wishes and the boys for getting 3 points last night made my overnight stay better #UTM x
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Proud of all my boys 💙 #UTM.
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Please have a read and help in anyway you can … Sending my love to The Ramsey’s , and most of all Gerard keep fighting son we are all behind you 🖤🙏🏼👊🏻 xx
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Sad to hear that Steve Woods has passed away , one of the men who has made @AFCPortchester what it is today RIP Steve sending my love to the family 🧡🍊.
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Finally got the ball rolling with having my ACL rebuilt again …. Bone graft then full rebuild … 4th time lucky I say 😛.
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Delighted to get my first job in management, it’s sooner than expected but I am looking forward getting thrown in the deep end and working with the lads and my old team mate and friend Alex Baldacchino 🍊.
Things we like to see!. Joe Noakes and Alex Baldacchino are the new coaching team in charge of the under-23s side. Click on the link below to see more details.
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Assistant Manager Appointed | Joe Noakes has been appointed as the Clubs new Assistant Manager, after leaving his role as U23s Manager at AFC Portchester. Full story 👇. #UpTheMoneys
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Steve Ramsey’s Testimonial Match / Family Day against Pompey Charity Squad Sunday the 11th of September … information in poster below a team of Pompey Legends….All money raised will be going towards Rambos boys specialist treatment for his recovery !! 🖤. PLEASE SHARE
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Looking forward to growing as a coach at the club I love 🍊🧡.
Some more announcements on the new first team coaching set up for you this evening. First up - two familiar Royals faces will be first team coaches. We're delighted to announce Jason Hampson and Joe Noakes remain part of the coaching team.
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CASH REWARD FOR ANYONE WHO KNOCKS THIS WEASEL OUT AT WINTER WONDERLAND TODAY …. Must have video evidence 💷 #WinterWonderland21
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She got nothing on my Pal Creggy Hardon
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Harry McGuire might be a record 80 million pound signing , a roll model , Captain of man united but his sisters been drugged by two men and he’s had a roll about with some coppers trying to get to her, absolutely nothing wrong with that if club and country drop him it’s shameful.
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🖤🖤🖤 this kid keeps on smashing his goals on to the next one Gez.
I’ve been reluctant to post Gerard’s progress the last couple of days as he’s been really upset the majority of the time and we aren’t sure why. He is sending us grey with worry but I’m going to stay positive and share how well his walking is doing after just 3 days.
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Hopefully on the mend now … serious infection in my knee that’s resulted me having to have emergency surgery again this evening over 70ML of infection drawn from my knee & a full wash out & come round from surgery to see my boys have kept the 3 points rolling in #UTM 🖤
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First series of love island Iv watched / watching no wonder everyone’s mental health’s fucked watching that shit it should be banned , a TV show playing with peoples emotions and broadcasting it for the nation to watch… proper fucked up.
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After a stressful and tough first pre season as a manager I’m exited to say are season starts tonight, the lads have shown unreal Effort, Commitment and Togetherness the past month and tonight I hope they enjoy being back on the pitch playing for points let’s go @PortchyU23 🍊.
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A good game for the neutral and the Wessex leagues highest ever attendance … what a great advert for non league football #UTM.
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Just finished painting the downstairs of my gaff , Fair play to all the painters and decorators fuck doing that for a living.
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Proud of everyone involved at this club , Another step in the right direction yesterday but the job isn’t done yet. 7 to go 💛💙.
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I’m sorry but if see a woman with them on I’m gonna put her in Row Z
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1 week today … Fund Raising Day for The Ramsey Family & Enable Ability … if this pops up on your Twitter please give it a RT and I hope to see as many of you down there as possible 🖤 x
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Merry Christmas to all my friends and family I hope you have a blessed day 🖤 x
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No matter how many times I rewatch , Band Of Brothers , Saving Private Ryan and other war series/ programmes and seeing what they went through , old boys speaking about what they done just makes me burst with pride God Bless every single one of them and never forget them 👊🏻.
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Always the same at any boxing event , go in the toilet for a piss and you got dinlos on the Charlie shadow boxing in the mirrors 😅.
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Watch your knee on that 4G Astro Gal 🕊️ x.
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For me personally this is a tough watch I can relate to so much of this even though I managed to get back on the pitch from 2 ACL rebuilds and a Broken Leg for a short period of time it still eats away at me daily I’ll never play football again.
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Tomorrow we start playing for the points , really looking forward to my first season in Management at Wessex Level , Iv learnt loads in the last month and can’t wait keep progressing myself with a good squad of players and Management Team around me … #UTM 👊🏻.
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For me as a manager Footballs not just about your footballing ability it’s about how you apply yourself week in week out , attitude , commitment and Ollie Complin has done that ,hard working lad with great footballing ability, it’s been a pleasure watching him grow this season 🍊.
Was a pleasure on behalf of the club’s committee to support with the U23s end of season awards 🏆. Congratulations to ‘Managers Player of the Season’ - Ollie Complin and ‘Player’s Player of the Season’ - Kelly Nwaehin. The future is bright 🍊. #Arancione🍊| #PortchyPathway
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Good luck to @HamworthyUtdFC and @Brock_FC tomorrow go and do what US couldn’t do last year #CainoOut.
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That hairs gonna take a battering down windy wicor.
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Anyone at a loose end Sunday the 11th of September come down to the family fun day / fundraiser match for Rambos family @TheCasualSniper @portsmouthsport @Pompey @portsmouthnews @portsmouthuni @visitportsmouth
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Extremely proud of what these lads have achieved since Me and Chino took over, they all brought into to how we wanted them to play and the style of attacking football and it’s shown in results 7 out of 8 wins. I’m exited to see what we can achieve next season 🍊🍊
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Merry Christmas to everyone , enjoy a drink with people around your tree and raise a glass to those who aren’t, God Bless you all x.
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They don’t make Rolls Royces like they used to that’s for sure.
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Kicked off my managerial career with 3Points against the top of the league, .the lads were out standing against a strong Hamble team, I’m really excited to see what we can achieve as a squad #UTP 🍊.
4-1 Win for the lads tonight against a strong Hamble Team goals from @laminja19101692 X2 @georgekirk15 and Ollie Complin #UTP 🍊🍊🍊.
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Got ALOT of time for this.
When the tricky winger is quicker than you!
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Couple of years away from competing I’m back in ring Saturday, without a doubt the fittest and strongest Iv been for a long time 💀
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We always knew Grandad was a player from his career , Westham , Crystal Palace , Pompey today me and Dad put his name into the search bar on Twitter and come across some tweets from June from Crystal Palace fans speaking about my Grandad.
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Because women stress the fuck out of men.
why do men go bald but women don’t.
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Welcome to the club @steve_ramsey8 x.
📝 | Welcome to Moneyfields to former Havant & Waterlooville, Gosport Borough and AFC Portchester Midfielder, Steve Ramsey!. #UpTheMoneys
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From the moment I wake up to the moment I go asleep all I hear about is fucking covid 😴😴😴.
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🧤 We are delighted to announce the signing of @Bradhousee!. The goalkeeper joins the Hawks on loan from League Two outlet @suttonunited. #HWFC
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Really looking forward to my lads featuring in this one tomorrow night , it will give them all a taste of the standard they need to compete at if they want to progress into men’s football #UTP🍊.
⚽️ @AFCPortchester 🆚 @Infinity_f_c .📆 Tuesday 9 November .⏰ 19:45.🏅@HampshireFA 🏆 Russell-Cotes Cup 1st Round.Sponsored by @HaroldGWalker .🏟 The OnSite Group Stadium.🚗 PO16 9DR. A good opportunity for the fans to come down and have a look at the next generation of Royals.
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After a poor opening 15 minutes the lads settled down and went through the gears, really proud of the whole squad 3 U18s Toby Paice started , Louie Hale & Luke Graham come of the bench with Luke scoring 2 goals they all done brilliant in there first competitive game for the 23s.
9-1 win in are opening game of the season tonight against Clanfield U23s. Goalscorers . Brandon Chebby x4.Ollie Complin x2.Luke Graham x2 .Josh Nicklin x1. #UTP🍊.
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53 registered players and you can’t field a team, embarrassing.
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Really pleased with what Iv just seen from my U23s lads who have dual signed with Paulsgrove they all made a good account of themselves , a good game of football, even better seeing @HopkinsStanlie out on the pitch after the stuff he’s been through… keep on pushing son 👊🏻x.
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Final call from me until kick off tomorrow…. see you all there 🖤
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Extremely Proud to see my lads step up to the first team go and enjoy yourself Men 🍊.
5 of our under 23s involved with the First Team tonight with two starting , Well done lads enjoy it 🍊👊🏻.
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Fake Taxis gone down hill since I last tuned in 🚖.
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My last session as @PortchyU23 Manager tonight but gutted we didn’t get to finish the season with a game as planned but nothing surprises me in the league no more….
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After a disappointing defeat in the opening game of the season, today the lads went out and done what we asked … @CalLaycock may have got the goals but the team performance was solid … proud of them all.
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A big thanks to my good friend @chebby2222 for coming in tonight and giving my lads a beasting in preparation for their season that kicks off in just over a week, anyone interested in 1-2-1 or group bookings click the link ➡️ thank you for your time Wazza
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Thank you to everyone who’s Supported the Ramsey Family this is the reason why … Gez is a fighter and as you can see he is giving it his all he’s far from out the woods but he’s giving it his all 🖤 xx.
Just under two weeks after coming out of intensive care my gez is trying his absolute best to get up and walk! I know today has taken its toll on him but keep going my boy you got this ❤️
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Proud of my lads last night 🧡🍊.
4-2 Win to Portchy, Great character shown by the team to come back from 2-0 down. Goals From. Brandon Chebby.Chay Jennings x2 .Archy Greenough . Secured the hard fought 3 points. #UTP🍊.
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If that happened down my local I would of put him in Row Z.
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A big thank you to @PaulsgroveFC U13s who decided to do a sponsored run tonight and Donate all the money to The Ramsey Family can’t thank you enough boys great effort I hope you enjoyed your Dip and Ice creams …. Good luck for the season and we’ll all hopefully get to a game 🖤
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Mental how all these millions are potentially going to be spent on the Eurovision if we host it but there’s people eating out of food banks and the country’s on its knees… unbelievable…. the country needs a reset.
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Someone who I have the upmost respect for in the footballing world , stuck with me through two bad injuries and an all round top bloke … All the best Cats 🙌🏻 x.
‘I don’t miss the hassle and grief of managing’ – former @GosportBFC and @AFCPortchester boss Mick Catlin is appointed @Horndean_FC chairman.@WessexLeague @WessexLeague @Pompey_Football @NonLeagueCrowd @HampshireFA @PortsmouthDFA @90MinutesMore.
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The comments on this thread 🤯🤯 people moaning because there’s not enough Female singers , to many white singers. is this the world we live it now just go enjoy the music with a beer in your hand and your pals under you arm and keep the politics for someone’s kitchen after ✌🏼.
Its here! Our Victorious 2021 lineup 🎉🤩💙🎉 Tickets on sale from £30 a day now - (fees apply). @MadnessNews @mikeskinnerltd The Streets, @royalblooduk @thekooksmusic @richardashcroft @SupergrassHQ @CraigDavid @MelanieCmusic & More!
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Work done now for a couple of weeks in Australia with my little family 👨👩👧💕.
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😀😀
𝙄𝙣𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜 👀. Former player is back from the dead as he puts pen to paper ✍🏻. Portchy Coach puts on his boots for the new season and signs his player forms✍🏻. And we can announce a 𝐍𝐄𝐖 signing who has vast Southern League experience 👏🏻. All to be revealed at 𝟭:𝟯𝟬
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All the information on the poster below …. PLEASE SHARE X
A testimonial game is being held this weekend for former #pompey @HWFCOfficial @GosportBFC and @AFCPortchester player Steve Ramsey, who helped save his young son Gerard's life a few months ago.@EnableAbility @PompeyNewsNow @WessexLeague @NonLeagueCrowd.
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😍😍🍊🍊.
The Club are Delighted to announce the signing of @craighardon a no nonsense defender half with bags of Wessex experience looking to help the next generation of players step up to men’s football welcome Craig 🍊
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Dread to think what it’s like in the Wessex.
The money spent on agents fees in non-league has almost doubled over the last year (it was £271k last year).
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This time next week I’ll be at Knebworth warming up to Kasbian ready for the Guvnor @liamgallagher…. can’t wait.
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Moretti is no good to drink on a Sunday , my fuse box is pounding.
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Another strong addition to 21/22 squad welcome Fin 👊🏻🍊.
AFC Portchester are delighted to announce the signing of Midfielder Fin Bello 📝🍊
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Hard fought 3 points tonight , that’s 7 wins on the bounce 🍊🧡.
FT 3-2 Portchy Goals from Brandon Chebby X2 Joe Johnson #UTP🍊.
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Fat Dosser.
85' | 🟥 Tom Cain is shown a second yellow card and is sent off for the hosts . 🟡 2-3 🔵. #BMRFC.
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3 things in life are guaranteed… Death , Paying Tax & McDonald’s fucking your order up.
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Ibiza hasn’t disappointed once again …. Paradise tonight at Amnesia one final push let’s be having yaaaaa.
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😍😍😍😍😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰.
86’ GOAAAALLLLLLLL!!!! . ITS CRAIG HARDY A BRILLIANT HEADER FROM A SET PEICE . (2-0). #ForzaPortchy🍊
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Proud of my lads today, hope they enjoyed the whole experience and plenty more minutes to come… keep up the good work.
A big well done to Luke Graham, Fin Bello , Ant Reynolds who got minutes with the first team today keep up the good work lads 🍊.
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