Nonduku👑
@Nkosi_Shebi
Followers
42K
Following
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Media
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Statuses
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A Villain || Promoter || Content Creator || DM for Promo
South Africa
Joined March 2014
Just when you think you've finally found the one, she serves you doggy during the first round😭😭. .
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After working on it for weeks, my project is finally complete💡🔥🔥.
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Ama-2K ayazi nje ukuthi uK.O wake wahamba nge-wheelchair & lo cherry ayehamba naye ushonile?
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Break-ups nowadays are so easy. You mize me, I mize you & we're done. .
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Cheating is a personal choice. Some people will never cheat no matter how bad things are and some cheat no matter how good things are. .
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"Calculate the speed of the car". Lapho imile ephepheni, ayidumi nok'duma😭😭. .
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Ever dated a hun you don't love? Every time she touches you be like she's pick-pocketing you😭😭. .
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As a country siyamdinga umuntu onesibindi ozotshela u-Dj Tira ukuthi seku-right manje. Sesibongile.
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"His cologne must greet you first." Lapho yena unuka i-hairfood.
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Teach your kids that cleaning and cooking are basic life skills, not gender roles. .
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You give a hun a simple instruction, "Don't text back, I'm with the main". Only for her to reply an hour later saying "Okay love"😭😭. .
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"Ungachami fast." Ngathi ngingamnika ipipi ezwe lento engiyizwayo.
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Yiba stingy ngemali yakho because nobody gives a damn about you when you're broke.
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The thought of my first born kid being her third child, such disorder😭😭. .
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If your in-laws love you just know one thing, he ain't all right upstairs and they want you to keep an eye on him😭😭. .
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Kuthiwa "fight for what is yours", uzwe abanye bethi "when it's yours you won't have to fight for it". Bafethu khulumani into eyodwa, siyalwa noma asilwi?😭😭. .
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"Unuka kamnandi" is enough, "Usebenzisa yiphi i-perfume?" No guys, umuntu nomuntu akazifunele umnuko wakhe.
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"Babe, it's me". That time her voice sounds exactly like all the others😭😭. .
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"Abanye baswela yona lengane ephuzayo". Kusho mina ngingena ekhaya ekseni😭😭. .
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Condomise gents, labantu baphuza every weekend & abanamali.
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I want to have kid, but I don't want the mother to be present or play any role in the kid's life. Is that too much to ask for?. .
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You think not posting her makes your relationship safe? Amagwinya have no advert, but adliwa everyday. .
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Women break up with you before leaving you. Ngithi they break up with you in June, but leave you in December😭😭. .
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In this 7 years you've watched Uzalo, what have you learned?. I've learnt that it never rains at Kwamashu😭😭. .
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Hurt her, apologize. Hurt her, apologize, kanjalo kanjalo, bastrong kabi labantu. .
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9 provinces & 11 languages, kanti obani laba abakhuluma bengenandawo yokuhlala?.
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iClinic lokhu ngayizonda mhla uShwi eyocela usizo lwempilo yakhe, bathi akahambe akanalutho😭😭. .
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6 missed calls sekuthiwa "enjoy what you doing", lapho angihudi kanje😭😭. .
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One thing about izikole lezi zabelungu, ukuthi ziyamfuna ubaba wengane. Azizwa mshini.
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"I thought you were rude". Kusho wena uztshela ukuthi sesijwayelene. .
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So ku "No strings attached" under no circumstances may I say "I love you"?😭😭. .
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"Anginamali, angnamoto, kodwa ngpeth iWewe". Ama 90s kade aqala ukuqwayiza😭😭. .
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What if impukane yinyosi eyashonelwa abazali yase iba yiphara?😭😭. .
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Ibemnandi i-call uze udlule ushaye ubaba wakho umkhaba uthi, "wena kmele uchathe"😭😭😭. .
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"Awuphinde lodoti obuwusho kuTwitter". Guys edrobheni sisuke siyothenga, please. .
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Umjolo unyisa ngisho oSisi bethu, ubone sebe post-e thina. "Love you bhutiza"😭😭. .
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Kwi woman on top musani ukugxuma sengathi nisemotweni yamaphoyisa. YiSende phela leli, nizosilamaza😭😭. .
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"Nice photo mshana. Utshele usisi ukuthi uSanele ufike nomakoti wesilisa, sesfile ukubizwa ngo darling"😭😭. .
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Mina ngithi no more motivation from rich people, sesifuna the actual strategy. Wena waya kuphi, kubani, wenzani ukuze ube nemali?. .
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Umuntu umfakele uR150 wokuza, umbekele uR2k wokuphind' emumva, avele adle lo R150 acishe i-phone. Uvele ubone ukuthi akuna matric bandla lokhu😭😭. .
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Omunye wathi yena akakwazi ukujola nosisi abadala abanemali, sahlala phansi sakhuluma naye, manje uhamba nge-Defender.
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Stop smoking weed at weddings, someone just asked me if the body has arrived?😭😭. .
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MacG is allowing fame and influence get into his head, big mistake. .
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Bafuna amadoda asebenzayo, kodwa uma indoda isemsebenzini balala nalawa angasebenzi.
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"Kanti wena why uhlezi uhleka?". Guys, phela mina ngazalelwa emshadweni. .
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Umfake kwi-status, afune i-screenshot sama-viewers. Lapho abantu abana data.
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Women break up with you before leaving you. Ngithi they break up with you in June, but leave you ngoDecmber.
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I can't be the only one who feels like my girlfriend has overstayed her welcome if she stays for more than two days, can I?.
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"Babe I'm on my periods, but my friend Gugu will be of service to you". Things we want to hear as gents😭🙌. .
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Zulu pussy is so addictive, that shit will have you knocking at 3am on some "Can I atleast see it ke?".
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Into esizoni lobola yona next year, kuzonuka ubulongo iSouth Africa yonke😭😭. .
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Kwi-Maths Lit uyakwazi nokuthi "angazi" uthole imaki for being honest.
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This thing of waking up unmarried is starting to annoy me😭😭. .
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Kulo December sidakelwa nokuthi we were loyal, badlala ngathi😭😭. .
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Spoil iMama, if awunamali zibulale ube yidlozi elihle umkhanyisele indlela😭😭. .
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Usuke usumcasule ngempela uNkulunkulu uma esekunika indoda ewu mrepha😭😭. .
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Sboniso Duma has learned a hard lesson, abantu abadala bayahlonishwa.
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When you finally get that job, banyise please, show them no mercy.
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"Uthole oDistinction abawu-7 obelala endlini yenja". Liyeza Isolezwe nezindaba zalo😭😭. .
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Guys ngicela ningiboleke iStudio ngenzele uBabe ingoma, ngeke ngincenge uSjava😭😭. .
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Wake wayibona ingane yomlungu ikhulelwe isafunda iskole? Cha niyabukisa ngathi shem. .
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Inkinga yami mangijola ngifuna umuntu abe owami ngedwa, nami ngibe owabo bodwa😭😭. .
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No matter how much you wanted her, but once you have the hun, her value depreciates. .
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: "Ukuphi dawg?".: "Ngi-everywhere".: "Bahamba neCherri yakho".: "Kuphi?".: "Everywhere".
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Kwi- Maths Lit uyakwazi nokuthi "angazi", bese uthola imaki for being honest. .
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Le-voice okhala ngayo embheden emzini yabantu, ungacula ngayo iGospel ushintshe isimo kini🤞😭. .
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Mina noma ngingaba depressed kanjani, kwangena imali nje siphela nya lesosifo sabelungu.
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The pain of taking a hun on a coffee date, only for her to order a full chicken and it ain't even 10am😭😭. .
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Umuntu avuke acofe ifoni, akazazi noma usakhuluma yini. Mina ngivuka ngicule nje for 10 seconds.
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Somewhere out there are 5 baby mamas waiting for maintenance money from 1 baby daddy😭😭. .
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A girlfriend allowance must be nothing more than R400 annually.
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uDriver wama relationship ngicela avule iwindi ngiyasha i-happiness🔥😭. .
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Uyophalaza kuze kuphume isibindi, kuyafundelwa ukuba i-manager.
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