carl 🥦
@NightlifeMingus
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psionic menace carrying alien spores
CA
Joined January 2016
🌬💨🌨💨🌨🌨🌨💨🌨🌨💨.💨🌨🌨💨💨🗻❄️🌨🌨💨🌨.🌨💨❄️💨⛩🦧⛩💨❄️🌨🌨.❄️💨🌨🏔🪨🪨🪨🏔❄️❄️💨.💨❄️🏔🪨🌲🪨🪨🪨🏔💨❄️.❄️⛰🌲🪨🪨🌲🌲🪨🧗⛰❄️.⛰🌲🪨🌲🌲🪨🌲🌲🪨🌲⛰.
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Ohhhh this hallway is spooky… I hope no one kills me and my big butt….
The atmosphere of our game. #UE5 #unrealengine #indiegames #indiedev #survivalhorror #survivalgames #gaming.
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DO NOT READ IF YOU DIDNT STARE AT THE SUN. greetings fellow chosen ones, what shall we name the three new colors revealed to us.
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last thing a straight man hears after refusing to twerk in gay city.
Ok, girls! We got someone who doesn't want to cooperate!.
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delegates from the aquatic realm.
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if phoebe bridgers lightly denting a cheap guitar on SNL can provoke this level of discourse, we absolutely need to make rock music scary again. bring back the blood and snakes. bring back the music videos where a businessman’s head explodes because he hears a guitar solo.
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i used to hate in video games when you’d talk to everyone in a town and they’d all be like “did you hear about the PLOT ELEMENT?” and all the ambient conversations are like “dreadful days, these, what with the PLOT ELEMENT and all.” didn’t realize that’s just actually how it goes.
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r/TwoSentenceHorror. “Thank you,” said the illiterate man to the butcher, “this is my favorite meat.”. “You’re welcome,” said the butcher as he handed him a package labeled “human meat” and then also when the guy walks out of the butcher shop the sign says “Cannibal Butcher”.
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nothing quite like pulling up a heavy hitter on wikipedia, WWII or The Renaissance or China, and just tucking in for the long haul.
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what are posts that aren’t load-bearing anywhere but your personal lexicon. like the ones that weren’t really popular but are so enshrined in your mind that you just assume they got hundreds of thousands of likes.
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as you approach your 30s it’s very very important that you acquire a “boring” interest that will develop into an obsession as you age. local water policy, shipping containers, composting, amateur geology, metal detectors, collecting old coins.
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love this mopey email from the website i bought one bong off of 2-3 years ago
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a lot of people are mad at this but you have to understand that tech biz guys don’t know about real books such as Moby Dick or Don Quixote. they think all books are called Thought For Food: Hack Your Brain’s Diet or The Squint Principle: See Less, Perceive More.
Imagine if every Book is converted into an Animated Book and made 10x more engaging. AI will do this. Huge opportunity here to disrupt Kindle and Audible.
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Do you guys think the engineers were natty or did they cook up some crazy black goop steroids to get this shredded
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(rubbing temples as i brood over a sprawling heap of scrolls) tell me… my people, do they still say I am the GOAT?. my vizier: (rueful—and yet, is that the shadow of a smile which plays across his lips?) they say, my lord… that you are washed, I fear.
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Love when someone says “IYKYK” and I don’t know. that’s one thing off my plate.
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How long would you wait in line for ham?
How long would you wait in line for ham?
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if she’s your girl, why’s she introducing a variety of enrichment activities into my enclosure? 🤔.
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this is what my dreams look like.
WILD PURSUIT! New Jersey police officers chased a deer down the halls of an elementary school after it broke in through a glass window.
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@DJFAGOTRON 28 Days Later but Cillian Murphy wakes up in the abandoned hospital with a giant ass.
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(Joss Whedon’s “Dark Souls: The Movie”) hey pal, you good? not going hollow or anything? cause you kinda have like a, hollow-y type thingy going on. just around the eye (hollow soldier lunges with sword) okay, yeah, he’s hollow. he’s definitely gone hollow.
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smoked a joint and cued up fellowship of the ring only to be hit with a PS4 error. google it and discover that it’s an issue that only affects the fellowship extended edition DVD which, when you’re high, feels like something designed specifically to torture you and you alone
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not me leafing through the ancient tomes while Master is asleep.
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by age 25 you should have at least one leg joint that cracks like a distant gunshot on a crisp winter morning every time you stand up.
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this is the loot that hollows would drop if dark souls was set in america
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friend: dude did you see The Sphere? pretty crazy stuff. me: (Thinking they’re referring to the interdimensional entity that visited me) yeah man.
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this post changed something deep inside of me.
zoomer little brother spent the entire aquarium trip today pointing and either going "that fish is locked in" or "that fish is tweaking" no in between.
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(showing you around my hometown) yeah i used to drive this road every day to go to school haha. oh, that’s the gas station, we would buy sodas there on lunch break. and that over there’s The Citadel. that’s pretty new actually, our overlords built that after i graduated.
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he died in a freak accident when he was killed by a freak.
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all i fucking want is the classic 1992 lithuanian men’s olympic basketball t-shirt
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possibly the worst burger i have ever seen. not a single good decision on display
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more than 15 years later and i still haven’t seen a better representation of the internet than this comic
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There should be themed gyms, decorated like rainforests or pirate ships or aquariums, for us creative souls.
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Ok so a narcissist beats an empath. but a SUPER empath defeats a narcissist. but then a dark empath beats a super empath. and goku wipes the floor with all of them.
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HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!.The Habsburg household celebrated 🦃 Thanksgiving🦃 with Turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, greens and a 🎃pumpkin pie🎃 (note the FALL LEAVES!).We even had an 🇺🇸American guest who said he could attest this was the REAL DEAL!
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Poison tastes so good when you don’t have a poison taster in your ear telling you Agkhh-! Ggguhhhnnggh… Hrrrgfhh….
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Favorite tweet of your own?.
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We are not even fully known to our own selves. So jot that down.
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Hey man it was really good catching up with you, but I gotta take off now, the mountain is calling me. Yeah you know how it is haha. The mountain is calling me.
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@Billaric see this hole in the ground? you know why i dug it? i dug it so i can crawl in and die, since clearly that’s what you want me to do sooooo… yeah :/.
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you have to admit that it’s pretty funny people will read a poem titled “Saturday night as an adult” by esteemed Canadian poet Anne Carson, born 1950, and immediately conclude it describes life as a 28 year old in Brooklyn.
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kush got me taking poison damage at a rate of 5 hp/second. kush got me going Oof… Hah… Nrghh… Oof… Nrghh.
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There’s something almost chilling about the Xenomorph….
Noah Hawley explains why he is bringing the Xenomorph to Earth in his ‘ALIEN’ TV series. “There’s something about seeing a Xenomorph in the wilds of Earth with your own eyes. That is truly chilling to think of it moving here among us… you’ll see it & you’re going to lock your
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Hi everyone, so excited to be joining the team! I’m looking forward to getting to know you all. Just a little bit about me: my background is mainly in Strength, Agility, and Endurance, and my interests include Light Armor and Axe.
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anyone else notice how thanksgiving, which was just last week, has been completely memoryholed by the media? 🤔.
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What motivated you to get vaccinated?.
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wikipedia's 'list of poems by catullus' is also a litany of relatable sentiments
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(Pusha T “you are hiding a child” voice) I got my info from your tailor.
@jacksonhinklle I got my info from your tailor and from the photos you posted. I called him to ask him about his process. Even he said that his base price is not the full bespoke standard, although he can do that if asked.
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Yesterday after quietly accepting a clogged ear for months I finally decided to unclog it and I passed a clump of impacted earwax so large I can now feel a breeze passing through my skull.
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My Larva was ‘Student of the Minute’ at Fruit Fly Elementary.
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i spent my adolescence downloading a hundred gigs of music because online people told me to instead of cultivating a personality, just so that in ten years when my coworkers ask what music i like i can say “uhhhhhh”.
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Hoagie has sadly perished after losing his battle with a sudden and severe case of “can’t eat the chicken breast resting on the counter” disease
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hit LIKE for marriage, children, home ownership. hit RETWEET for living on the tundra, harvesting edible lichens. trying to prove a point.
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@LegoRacers2 Sweet James is my favorite but you have to give jacob credit for aping the BCS logo so boldly
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what was ‘the incident’ at your clandestine research facility?
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Sam, it’s Piss Jugman here. If you’re making a delivery and you need to relieve yourself, just use one of the JUGS that BRIDGES has outfitted you with. And remember, filled JUGS can be used against BTs in a pinch.
Piss Jugman is here until 6pm today to teach truckers proper pee disposal. Jugman is "pissed" at all the jugs he's found laying in the parking lot. "Urine trouble" if you don't dispose properly. Kids can get their picture taken with Piss Jugman for only $5 from 4-6pm today
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Quit pocket watching my man.
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In truth I’ve come to love confronting people in movie theaters over phones, talking, etc. When I saw KOTFM last year there was a guy who would loudly cluck “tsk-tsk-tsk” whenever a murder victim was shown on screen (?!). when I told him to be quiet he went “give me a break man”.
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if i fell backward through time and found myself in the court of a medieval king, forced to entertain him with a song under penalty of hard labor or death, i think a safe bet would be “kiss from a rose”.
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it’s journalistic malpractice not to clarify that “the beach boys” is simply mike love squatting on the name.
President Trump will visit Newport Beach today to raise money for his cash-strapped campaign. The event will feature a live performance by the Beach Boys and tickets start at $2,800 per person, up to $150,000 per couple for co-chair status.
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i’ve noticed that 5x5=25 gives Friday vibes.
for ppl who are intellectually anomalous (say, iq 145+) how does your mind differ from avg folks and how do you know?.
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when you forsake the pursuit of enlightenment for the temptations of flesh.
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sitting there, high off my nut, feeling like the next Reddit post from another stoned dude deprived of LOTR will be the one to nudge me into a full-scale Philip K Dick solipsistic nightmare of a universe designed to torment me. anyway, bit the bullet and watched it on am*zon.
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If we can light up a blunt — we can hotbox my car. If we can hotbox my car — we can hotbox a room. If we can hotbox a room — we can hotbox this nation.
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hey dude you should come over. we are smoking weed and listening to Scary Music.
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No such thing as a “former” monkey scientist. Once a monkey scientist, always a monkey scientist.
As a former monkey scientist lmfaoooooooooooooo.
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other metal bands: Satan is my unholy master. I am going to disembowel you and shit in your ribcage. Metallica: time for bed 😈.
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when i was a teenage metalhead i leapfrogged over a lot of the fundamental and foundational bands in favor of the more obscure and extreme stuff, which is why i am 31 and having my first Iron Maiden phase. did you know they’re good.
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@cal_beu i always imagined that the orc barracks has like a mess hall with a rotating menu offering a variety of slops, gruels etc.
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I love when the king’s army marches through my village and the soldiers in their proud and splendid uniforms appear to me as symbols of youth’s strengths and hopes… hate when months later, the autumn wind carries news of those same soldiers’ deaths on a distant battle field.
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i wish i were a medieval french peasant who sees an elephant for the first time and thinks it's the devil.
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Oubliette Chat 🕳. Wasting_Away:.Who up rattling they chain.⛓7 ☠️3. jailcel:.just had a spoonful of gruel hbu.☠️5 . manacleman (freedom era 🔑🔓):.lovely breeze today lads and the sun is shining! 🌞 .👎11 🔒6 🔪7. jailcel:.Fuck off dude. DungeonDan:.rat just bit me lol.🐀9 😂5.
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hey, my girlfriend and i saw you across the bar and we are watching you, scum.
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It used to be that kids would dress up in scary costumes and say “trick or treat!” But nowadays, they say “tiktok or tweet!” and also they wear their normal clothes because today’s styles and fashions often resemble a costume of sorts.
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(Anton Chigurh voice) Be careful what tea you spill there.
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[Press X to interact with TOILET].“Wow, a toilet… haven’t seen one of those in years. Well, I should keep moving.”. [X].“I don’t need to do that. I better keep moving.���. [X].“I don’t need to do that right now.”. [X].“I don’t need to do that right now.”. [X].“I don’t need to d.
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how did i go through 6 years of latin without ever learning about the Roman emperor named “Poopy Anus”
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