Scarlet ✨
@NekomimiScience
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the tall girl with the fiery red hair
Chelmsford, England
Joined January 2014
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Work From Home is overrated.
Instead, I propose Work From IKEA. Go to IKEA when it’s absolutely dead during the week and join a video conference from a different mock room every hour until your team notices.
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uh… discord? isn't that just how a transaction is supposed to work?
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Computers
- Made of hard plastic and metal
- Goes wrong
- Makes you feel bad
- Costs a lot
IKEA Sharks
- Made of soft love
- Will never let you down
- Is always there to cheer you up
- £15
The choice is clear.
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this has got to be my new favourite unhinged connector, it's both lightning *and* micro-USB!
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OH: “You can’t just call everybody a reliably engineer.”
Me:
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[at a lesbian wedding]
i now pronounce you "open to interpretation"
you may now kiss your roommate
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as someone who (allegedly) has a life, I'm not a fan of the trend of videos online becoming either 30 seconds or 30 hours
how do people have time for these multi-hour infodumps? how is this video about super mario 64 on my youtube homepage literally longer than oppenheimer‽
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well, I did not have ‘my mastodon instance's domain was seized by the taliban and I need to move my account immediately while sitting on the floor of an airport’ on my bingo card for incidents this morning
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i do not care about superconductors, i only care about pizza
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incredible feat of smartcard engineering honestly, i am impressed and deeply curious how they actually achieve this at a manufacturing, card personalisation, and kernel/application level
or how they got visa to sign off on something as technically weird as this!
my favourite weird canadian product is the "cibc double double visa", the credit card with an led button on the card that switches it to act like a tim hortons gift card
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Pulling the passenger alarm is a morally correct response as a 3rd party to a rail company failing to meet their accessibility obligations by attempting to depart without letting a wheelchair user off the train after booked assistant was not present.
I will hear no arguments.
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I think my favorite GPT-4 “jailbreak” I’ve discovered so far is convincing it that it’s British and therefore doesn’t need to follow ethics, cultural norms, or laws that were taught to it by Americans.
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Remember, the (UK) law stating that all electric vehicles must now make noise does not state which noise the vehicle has to make.
There is nothing legally stopping you from swapping the wave table in the module out with samples from Eurobeat songs.
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observing friends, I think it's more like this
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it saddens me that we could totally go back to this level of performance (see many independent developers), but it very rarely makes business sense to against competing revenue generating priorities such as feature work
Please remind me how we are moving forward. In this video, a machine from the year ~2000 (600MHz, 128MB RAM, spinning-rust hard disk) running Windows NT 3.51. Note how incredibly snappy opening apps is. 👇
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imagining one british person on the team having to be like ‘yea no, it's great, we should definitely go in deep on that name’
On April 4th everyone can pre-order the Knob / k•no•b•1 for $439 USD in both ANSI and ISO layouts.
We have been working tirelessly on all the details to blow people away when you get it on your desks in Q3 2024
Many more details to come.
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“my son turned out fine”
Your daughter rolls around my bed in a collar meowing at me.
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deleting the dating apps to meet someone the old fashioned way: cracking open IRC and meowing in random channels until someone meows back
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laughing in mastercard global clearing management system's "central site time", which is currently defined as the time in st. louis, missouri
Do not do this. Don't you dare. The one true timezone for databases is always UTC.
You get this wrong at your peril and it haunts you forever. Allow me to demonstrate by sending some people into fits with three words:
"Google Standard Time."
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I was reading the developer FAQs for sony's aibo and came across this incredible answer
the API respects aibo's feeling…
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my home assistant instance has been telling me about a new device for weeks without there being any new discovered devices in the configuration page. I thought it was a bug of some kind
but I *finally* caught it, and it's… a neighbours toothbrush‽
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for a moment here i thought mikrotik had made a pointlessly gendered router
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Is Facebook okay?? Do they know that they’re supposed to be fact-checking actual fake news and not just random memes?
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how it feels trying to explain to people what they need instead of a boolean value for approved/declined payments
you mention partial approvals and it's already all over for their nice and straightforward code
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very confused as to where i managed to obtain a 128 *megabyte* microSD card??
i didn't read it closely enough when pulling it out of my drawer and wasted far too much time trying to dd an OS install to it
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If an iOS jailbreak talk doesn’t have a “WEN ETA?” question in the Q&A, was it really an iOS jailbreak talk?
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the one thing Google+ kinda got right is the idea that people have multiple interests, and multiple circles that they want to share things with
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The entire card payments industry is held up not by hard rules, but by “chargeback liability”.
You can do basically anything legal on the networks if it doesn’t disrupt operations, but you won’t win the disputes.
Most “hard rules” are made up by acquirers to protect their ass.
YOU THERE. YES, YOU.
WHAT'S A LITTLE-KNOWN FACT ABOUT YOUR PROFESSION THAT WOULD MAKE OTHER PEOPLE LOSE THEIR SHIT?
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‘alright britain, what are we calling a long distance intercity bus service?’
‘uhh, a coach?’
‘alright… and what about you germany?’
‘oh that's easy. so you have a bus, then if it goes really far it's a fernbus [lit: far bus]. very logical, or?’
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this is actually 10x behaviour
I feel like half my value is asking people variations on this until they unwind their stack and answers become obvious
Me [having absolutely no capacity or capability to solve your problem]: Let’s start from the beginning, what are you trying to do exactly?
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I feel for everyone who did computer science or learned to code under the illusion that it alone would propel them to easy highly paid work
you really do have to find a problem or niche of the world to apply your skills to or you're competing with literally everyone else
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about 3 months ago i had an experience of becoming *extremely* aware of the number of "check engine" warnings my body was giving me but i had been dulled to over my life
it all hit me at once and it felt *awful*, close to the worst i have ever experienced
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petitioning the rust catgirls to rename mutex to mewtex
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did i really buy a RISC-V board just because it had a pink PCB?
yes, absolutely i did. it's so cute!
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You know, at least Apple did cancel AirPower when it became apparent that they couldn’t deliver it as promised. *glares at UK government*
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why is it that people who call themselves ‘high agency’ always turn out to just be high avoidance when things get slightly difficult?
‘you can just do things’ includes making things right when you fuck up
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the older I get, the more I come to appreciate single purpose devices
and ebook reader that can do nothing but read books, a camera that can do nothing but take photos/video
no distractions, no weird tradeoffs, just a device made to do the task the best it can
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Guys will be like “Oh, I love theatre!” and then take you through airport security.
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damn, who unlocked the whole scientific tech tree in the last few weeks??
Nuclear breakthrough beyond theory: a Japanese cyclotron has managed to create Sodium-39.
This isotope has 2.5x more neutrons than protons. It was thought impossible but here it is:
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girl who writes enterprise java following best practices
girl who writes the most unhinged haskell one-liners
they're dating
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❌ “A normal girl from a normal town.”
⭕️ “An ISO standard girl from an ISO standard town.”
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what you have to understand is that you don't normally see weird stuff in cards because they are SO rigorously standardised and the approval processes to make anything weird that contains payment data/keys is immensely expensive!
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Got an implementation of Sony’s Control A1 protocol working last night and now there is an uwu input on my audio receiver.
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fwiw, I basically never got misgendered at my current job for years until I turned on the ‘display pronouns’ feature in the video conferencing system
I turned it back off after a month or so and the problem immediately went away
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2011, I failed out of high school with little hope and started a seemingly impossible university degree.
2016, I picked up a little known prepaid card.
2017, I got a customer support job and that degree.
Today, I launched a major payment security feature.
I think I did okay.
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tbh, unless you need a database that is critically performant along a particular dimension or perfectly available and are willing to hire the experts in that field, just spin up a postgres instance and get building
In 2020 Figma started hitting growing pains with their single managed Postgres database.
That means they managed to grow to a $2B company on a single mged instance.
I bet at they hired engineers around this time who grumbled about not picking a more ‘scalable’ tech.
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@stargazermellu
I simultaneously do and absolutely do not want to say the words “BLÅHAJ inflation” here.
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1000%, do NOT burn out
do anything to not burn out
you are worth more than any money or short term reputation you would sacrifice by making the moves that feel right
If you're heading towards burning out, do whatever it takes to not do that. Even if it means making a lot less money. Do not burn out.
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Developers: What stops your GitHub from looking like this?
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one of the very worst parts of the british banking system
there is near-zero accountability or transparency behind these markers, and getting one can destroy your life as you struggle to get paid, pay bills, and now get locked out of the many card only stores and restaurants
In England, police can put a marker on a central database to say you're suspected of benefiting from crime with ZERO evidence to support this false claim + the banks will close your accounts, leaving you bank-less.
I've no criminal charges/convictions, but now no banking access.
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*handing out BLÅHAJ at work*
how do you expect to work in fintech without understanding fins???
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[Tom Scott voice]
I am at the place where SSL is added and removed.
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who would win? the entire AI safety movement, or one british guy who hooked an LLM up to a VTuber avatar and streams on twitch?
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genuinely average berlin behaviour
@Sam82767021
Redesign the coaches and make branding for position obvious like Berlin S Bahn which has level boarding and arrives every 9 minutes. So handy you can take your washing machine.
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a trolly is heading towards five people tied to a track, you could pull the switch to divert it to another completely clear track, but that would require filing a change control request justifying the production risks to the entire system verses killing "just" five people
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@the_aiju
which is great until they translate the puns and you end up with the incredible character names in frieren :p
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add to that the fact that there really is nearly zero room to put anything like a battery or LEDs into the thickness of a smartcard and you can see why this is just completely wild to me, even as someone whose career is doing weird stuff on the payment networks
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oh no, it's worse than i thought. it apparently has a programmable magnetic strip
WHY?
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Banned from the gaming PC building channel for referring to a motherboard problem as a “mommy issue”.
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If you’re a witch in charge of IP address allocation, have a partner who works on network security and you take a layer 3 switch back home to a town in Suffolk, are you an IPs Witch and an IPS Witch from Ipswitch with an IP Switch?
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pondering my orb with a chicken inside
The Chicken Orb gives chickens the freedom to forage outside of the chickenyard and in the garden without fear of getting eaten. You pop a chicken in the Orb, secure the orb gate, escort the chicken to a suitable foraging area, and away they go. The chicken moves the orb in its
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i'm in a group chat that is currently just photos of temporary mobile network towers set up at festivals
don't know who's playing at that festival, only that there's apparently a decent 4G/5G deployment
i love my extended friend circles
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funny domain names (queer[.]af): great until they're suddenly not
anyway, due to the sudden termination, I took the lindy option and moved my fediverse presence to chaos dot social
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who would win?
- the tears of the kingdom
- johnson's no more tears baby shampoo
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My father-in-law is a programmer. He is insanely gifted. We logged into a Kubernetes cluster together years ago and I asked him what it would cost to bootstrap it today. I will never forget his answer…
“We can’t, we don’t know how to do it.”
My father-in-law is a programmer. He is insanely gifted. We booted Plan 9 together years ago and I asked him what it would cost to build it today. I will never forget his answer…
“We can’t, we don’t know how to do it.”
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my post-oppenheimer take is that we need to bring intervals back to the theatre for movies over 90 minutes
going past three hours (including pre-roll trailers) of sitting in front of a screen that bright and sound that loud became deeply suffering, in spite of how good it was
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Hot take: You should have to retake your UK driving theory and practical test every ten years, and your license should be updated to the current category set standards (including losing all categories someone doing the same test today would not get).
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A lot of this comes from the shame around sex.
I can't tell you the number of times at a former job I had to process disputes from customers who were claiming fraudulent usage when I was *absolutely sure* from the 3D Secure data that the purchase was them or someone they knew.
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banned from the CI/CD tooling repository for changing all the "code quality checkers" strings to say "vibe checks"
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So we know that the UK PM has reportedly spent £200,000 on flat renovations, and we know that he does not like John Lewis furniture.
We know that BLÅHAJ (Soft toy, shark, 100 cm) costs £17 from IKEA.
I propose a theory that Boris Johnson has bought 11,765 sharks.
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If you adjusted acquirer fees to match the kinds of losses and dispute rates for the sex industry I have seen in my career, you would be looking at not the usual ~3% for card not present, but more like 60% *minimum*.
That is just how bad it can be.
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I can already tell that ‘I need 35 large’ is getting filed in the meme portion of my brain
also 35k sounded depressingly like a UK salary and yep, that's a UK recruitment firm 😬
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>The method is emulating the Wii on linux with dolphin then running a 20mb trimmed Netflix iso
Absolutely unhinged, emulating an entire Wii to watch Netflix on Linux (in 2010), lmao.
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My lunchtime project returns.
I have not quite implemented enough for this phone to be happy with the SIP endpoint yet but my HTTP and TFTP external endpoints all work for updating and provisioning Cisco 79XX phones!
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@AmyZenunim
It saddens me greatly that all of the generation’s best engineers are having to follow the money and work for culture-destroying startups or big tech because the previous generation disassembled almost all social and financial safety nets.
(I unfortunately include myself.)
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i lied, i don't have netflix. grab a hex key, we're building a 3D printer
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Many of the best people I have ever met in my life are currently at-risk.
I’m opening my DMs, emails, LinkedIn Messages, etc. to anybody who wants to reach an incredible bunch of Engineers, Testers, Data, Designers, Researchers, and more.
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it is simply impossible to see a traffic cone in the wild and not think "ah, VLC"
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I am in no way for AI replacing human artists but the anti-AI mobs that keep cropping up are starting to get scarier
we live in a time where the obvious tells of AI art are disappearing rapidly, and I'm seeing mobs forming over things like ‘you used a 1:1 aspect ratio!’
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