PADRIAN MONK
@Muniu_Muniu
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Lion Tamer Pumpkin Lover. Bean Counter. Guava Tree Climber Wine Connoisseur Chairman of the Njahĩ Eaters Association. Golfer My heart is in Namibia 🇳🇦
NAKURU
Joined April 2011
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Pinned Tweet
I have created the Channel for Nairobi. Here is the link. Check out the
#RejectFinanceBill2024
- Nairobi Chapter channel on Zello
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Dear
@WilliamsRuto
we thank you for commissioning this life saving water project for the people of Tigania. As you can see, the dam has ensured that the people get piped water up to their homes. Asante sana.
#RutoMustGo
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This is the current state on the ground. Where did you take 330 million?
#RutoMustGo
During the ground breaking of Sh330m Thangatha and Ura Dams that will benefit 50,000 households, Tigania, Meru County.
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There's an app called Zello that works like police walkie talkies. We can create a channel on it and have people give updates through voice notes. It also allows for location sharing.
Next time, we need to setup a command center of some sort. Police have radios we need something similar.
Shower thoughts.
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Mtoto walizaa na a former MCA wa Nakuru anaitwa Wa Nyaguthii. Jamaa already alikua na two wives so hangemuoa. Mtoto huwa amefichwa kama bangi. Also the butcher of Sugoi gave instructions uyo jamaa asichaguliwe tena.
This war needs to get personal niko na dirt against Charlene Ruto atwambie mtoto alizaa alipeleka wapi
#RutoMustGo
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Dear
@WilliamsRuto
even after launching it twice in 2018 and 2023, you still did a shoddy job.
#RutoMustGo
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BEER VS VAGINA!!
1. Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work.
One point to BEER
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One time Kirubi went to Windsor and parked at the Chairman's (Michuki) spot. When Michuki came,he went to the office and asked the accountant to refund Kirubi his membership fee (around 1M) in cash and banned him from the club. Sometimes it's not about the money but decorum.
HIGH COURT directs Muthaiga Country Club to temporarily allow city lawyer Donald Kipkorir access to the premises whenever he is invited by its members.
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If you bought Nation Media Group shares worth 1 Million in 2014, you would have lost 981,000. By now your shares would be worth 19,000. If you had kept your 1 million & drank two Tuskers at 180 every day or Whiskey at 2,500 every week without fail, you would have 36,000 left.
Dear Kenyans 🇰🇪 , DO NOT be the people who will spend KES 50,000 in clubs BUT find it HARD to invest even KES 10,000 in stocks, bonds or side hustles. Chanuka!!!
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Uko ni Wiyumiririe umepiga filters kunaa Colorado?
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Waiyaki Way wasn't named after anyone. It happened that after independence the Kikuyu Elite were on a looting spree and thus it wasn't uncommon for them to ask each other "Waiya Kîî We?" which translates to what have you stolen?
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Ata bibi yako hajapona unataka kuzalisha Osama?
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Willy Paul is those stones that we are told will sing for God if we refuse to sing for Him.
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Nani amesema ni mkate? 😂😂😂
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Niliingia gym na 92kgs sasa nimepima niko 96kgs. Na hii ni after mwezi mzima ya kukula greens kama sungura. Siendi tena mimi!
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Nishaipigana na mtu juu ya kupiga dame rafiki yangu. Mimi uyo nlilala Parklands Police na wao wakarudi Forty Forty wakakunywa zao na akaenda kupewa strokes. This gender 😭😭😭
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To that guy at DCI HQ who told me 'Unakaza mkono unadhani apa ni Gym?' when taking my fingerprints, ni sawa tu! 😂 😂 😂
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I am selling my Wines and Spirits business.
Stock - 680k
Goodwill - 2m
Description - iko kwa kona na polisi huwa hawakuji sana. 😂😂😂
My buyer could be on your TL!
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I finally had a chance to mourn him well 17 years later and it made me realize that growing tall doesn’t hide you from the grief of a dead father.
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FINAL SCORE: BEER: 10 VAGINA: 8
That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is: BEER
PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or discriminated against, just remember that Beer would experience none of those feelings, let alone express them.
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Us non parents kosokoso. 😂😂😂
Us non-parents tukiingilia huko tunaeza pigwa mawe. Acha tuvute stool.
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Kama hujui na wewe ndio umepiga picha sisi ni malaika tujue?
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Upwards and onwards. Master of Research and Public Policy in the bag. Ni God manze!
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Imagine cheating na mtu anavaa crocs as if dunia ni bafu 😂😂😂
It is so disrespectful when you cheat on your engineer bf with a crocs wearing jobless man.
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Away from that, has your husband taken you back to the matrimonial home in Ngata or are you still governing our county from an Air BnB?
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The fact that uko na watoto already means you can't be referred to as girlies. You are a 'mathes'.
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No akorwo ena paybill tùrùgame nake? 😂
This one has kept a grasshopper as a pet for the last 3 days, even went with it to school, unfortunately it died at night and now he is talking about burying it 🤣🤣
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Unastep up alafu baba mtoto bado anakuita "the fella". 😂
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A woman once cheated on me then blamed it on her zodiac sign, ati I’m an Aries sijui ruled by Mars. Anga sijui we are impulsive and desirous
and have a short attention span. Kucheat haikuniuma kama iyo explanation ya ufala. 😭😭
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If you bought Nation Media Group shares worth 1 Million in 2014, you would have lost 956,000. By now your shares would be worth 44,000. If you had kept your 1 million & drank two Tuskers at 180 every day or Whiskey at 2,500 every week without fail, you would have 160,000 left.
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We umbwa uyu si ni wewe. Toa mafi kwa mentions zangu. We both have children to raise! Salamander.
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8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer.
One point to VAGINA
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You do not have the moral authority to question anyone's ethics while you are a known bribery enabler. Sit this one out!
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5. If you go home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you go home reeking of vagina your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view so I'll just call it a DRAW
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13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off. One point to BEER
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6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten vaginas in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere. One point to VAGINA
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I am selling this gem. Kindly retweet the buyer might be on your TL.
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14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or a can. One point to BEER
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7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer. If you eat any vagina in public, you become a legend. One point to VAGINA
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19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you drink it.
One point to BEER
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Na wengine wanaandika ati they are self driven yet ata hawana magari
Hiyo story ya Achieng sioni ubaya. Si ata kwa CV zetu sisi huandika
'i am a self sufficient person, hardworking, result oriented individual, team player! " 😂😂😂
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11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is fun. One point to VAGINA
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4. If after taking a swig of your favorite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit.
One point to VAGINA
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10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much vagina and you'll think you've seen God. One point to VAGINA
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12. In most countries there's a tax on beer. One point to VAGINA
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17. You always know how much beer is going to cost.
One point to BEER
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Makosa yangu ni kuendea food ya match officials na kudai ntaongeza 250 ndo anipee extra helping. Jamaa aliburst into smithereens ilibidi ashikwe. Me I thought ata ni kifafa.
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16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark, pilsner, ale, lager, etc.
One point to BEER
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15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but eventually it settles down. One point to BEER
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@Annitajoe1
Sema tu unatafuta mfereji ya kushikilia ukipokea back strokes tondũ ũkoragwo wĩ mwaganu ta cũcũ wa njoka wee 😂😂😂😂😂
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Ameamka alete dispute ama bado? Your favorite turmeric wings connoisseur lacks emotional intelligence and it shows.
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He never listens to anyone when told to use English no tondù ti kwa nyùkwa thiî ùkamîe ùhùthe!
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If you had kept your 1 million & drank two Tuskers at 180 every day or Whiskey at 2,500 every week without fail, you would still have 375,000 left.
If you bought Safaricom shares worth ksh. 1 million in 2019, your shares today are worth Ksh.317,000. I hope this won't be another KQ, Mumias and Eveready😓
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No. She is well known for her stints with Maroon Commandos and Les Wanyika.
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Ũyũ endaga ũgapause midstroke ũkamũria mũkũri nũũ? 😂😂😂😂
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Ukikuja event you will interact na clients then stay off alcohol. Nyef Nyef mabawa zangu... Mabawa ni za kuku msee. Tulia ujijenge
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Unauliza dame what caused the first world war anakuambia ati nî mùirano. 😂
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Odds
Kampupii - 2.32
Jeff - 2.96
Muchiri HIV - 3.04
Osama - 13.58
Peter_Jrn - 23.54
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It is sad that 54 years ago the system silenced Morara's grandfather this same way. The more things change the more they remain the same.
I have been involved in a road accident side collision in Kivwe Embu County. By a drunk driver
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@rams_kam
Nilikua nashindwa alikua anabomoa aje uyo... Like akitoa weave si anakaa butcher wa Sugoi kapsaaa
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This meat is so raw people in India are still worshipping it!
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I think Herod misunderstood when his daughter requested for John The Baptist's head.
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Me to mama Ichungwa : Tahùrîra mùrùgwo ùmwîre Finance Bill yahîtùka tùrîrîaga gwaku.
If the mp's are not picking or responding to calls bring their spouses and parents numbers here
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giCARmbura
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