MasterBiceptimus
@MstrBiceptimus
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Thoughts on healthy relationship dynamics. Straight (47M) dominant/lover/owner of @happyslavegirl
Indiana, USA
Joined October 2013
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Objectification is fun, and you are more than a collection of body parts.
Degradation is fun, and you have value as a person.
Masochism is fun, and you deserve to feel more than just pain.
Sex is fun, and you are more than a toy, a pleasant distraction, or a booty call.
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Dear submissives: I am embarrassed that I have to say this, but apparently it needs to be said.
Just because you consider yourself a submissive, doesn't mean you have to submit to every 'Dom' or 'Master' who slides into your DMs or tries to hit you up for a conversation. Not
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Objectification is fun, and you are more than your parts.
Degredation is fun, and you have value as a person.
Humiliation is fun, and you deserve privacy, confidence, and pride.
Masochism is fun, and you deserve more than pain.
Sex is fun, and you are more than just a toy.
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A submissive is not a lesser human.
I want to be very clear about this, because the message seems to be often confused.
A submissive is someone who is their 'best self' - doing their best work, most at peace, most mentally and emotionally balanced, most functional, most
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Objectification is fun, and you are more than a collection of body parts.
Degredation is fun, and you have value as a person.
Masochism is fun, and you deserve to feel more than just pain.
Sex is fun, and you are more than a toy, a pleasant distraction, or a booty call.
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Generally speaking, I think most submissives just want someone to care about them, and have someone to care for and support, while most dominants want someone else besides them to care whether or not they win life, and make existence a little more pleasant, carefree, and fun.
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I think one of the hardest things for (especially newer) dominants to understand, is the concept of "I'm merely pretending to be better than you".
Everyone has a different perspective when it comes to submission. Some submissives genuinely want to feel degraded and inferior in
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Time to get uncomfortably real for a minute.
The biggest challenge with 24/7 D/s in real life is that, unless your goal in life is either to be or to own a 'human house pet', life is going to be hard, and you can't just command someone to accomplish hard things and they're
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Looks like I've picked up a few new followers, nice to meet you.
You won't find much to 'goon' to here, I'm just not that kind of dominant.
I'm more into submission of the heart and mind, and the joy of receiving a submissive's desire to serve, obey, and please.
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Dominance is...
going to the gym... so you can stay strong and healthy for your family
making good money... so you can provide for your family
getting good at relationships and sex... so you can take care of your needs, and your partner's needs
It's SERVICE, not narcissism.
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The most impactful acts of submission are also the easiest.
Wishing your Master good morning each day, bringing him his morning coffee, making his lunch, letting him know your location throughout the day, burying him in kisses when he arrives home, bringing him a cold drink as
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If the only thing holding you back from pursuing a D/s dynamic outside the bedroom is "I don’t want someone to control every detail of my life"...
Great news!
There are plenty of Doms who don’t want that either.
For me, I personally can't stand micromanaging other people. I
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We talk often about how dominants should make a submissive feel "safe", but what does that mean? And does that responsibility go both ways?
One of the most important aspects of 'safe' is 'psychological safety' which to me, includes two things.
One: perfection is not expected
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The very best dominants have vulnerable sensitivities and insecurities like any other normal healthy person.
A great submissive sees those 'soft spots' as opportunities to step up and do what they do best, and make another human feel supported, loved, understood, and cared for.
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Living with a slave is a whole new level of wonderful.
I love how much she loves me, obsesses over me, serves me, touches me... I'd almost forgotten how great living with women is, and she reminds me every day why I want to get even deeper into this with her.
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Why do submissives submit?
Is it true that submissives get pleasure from pleasing others? Yes, no doubt; but it's more than that, and if you think that's all there is to it, you'll be a very selfish dominant and a very unsatisfied submissive (like so many are).
Submissives
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The entire concept of BDSM is based on fully informed, fully risk-aware, fully NEGOTIATED consent.
If a supposed 'dom/master' is not NEGOTIATING with their intended sub/slave, and is merely commanding them, you're not doing BDSM.
At best, you're just roleplaying.
At worst...?
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A dominant is not a mind reader.
This nonsense about "he knows you better than you know yourself" is utter Disney princess fantasy horseshit, and honestly, it's marketing hogwash from thirsty dudes.
Submissives, if you can't verbalize what you want and need, you won't get it.
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If you submit to a dominant who then changes the agreement on you without your consent, or brings in other people you didn't agree to, or starts or stops following through, you didn't fail as a submissive, he failed as a dominant.
Dominance is not freedom from accountability.
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Something not often talked about, is a dominant's gratitude in having someone to give our loving gifts to.
It is often talked about, that dominants like receiving pleasure, service, and obedience from a submissive. That part should be fairly obvious, to even a casual observer.
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Beginner submission is doing what your dominant commands.
Intermediate submission is also anticipating your dominant's wants.
Advanced submission is also coming up with new ways to serve that your dominant hasn't thought of yet, while still doing everything needed and wanted.
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A submissive who will do well in a dynamic where she is treated with respect, when met by a worthy dominant who treats her with that respect, will get flushed, flustered, hot and bothered, and submit immediately and breathlessly, rather than treat him as an equal peer or buddy.
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Let's talk about polyamory.
Especially if that word makes you cringe, read this post at least twice.
Then like all my posts, please share it, even if you don't like it, and learned something from it.
I'm going to tell you a very important secret, and give you some life
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"What is the difference between a Dominant and a Master?"
Many folks have other definitions, but to me, a Master is merely a 24/7/365 Dominant.
That's it.
I consider a 'Dominant' someone who 'dominates' you for a short period of time, then you both go on with your separate
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Dominants:
If you've got a submissive committed to make you as healthy and happy as they possibly can, you should probably thank the universe for your good fortune and take great care of them and love them and meet their needs too.
That I even have to say this blows my mind.
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Just a reminder, healthy dominance is basically being so good at life that other people decide on their own to hang around and follow you as their leader.
Dominance isn't forced, it's simply an obvious pattern of success plus skill in leading others to success.
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"true Doms are impossibly hard to find"
Are they?
Let's talk about that.
What is a 'true Dom'? A man who... Looks like what? Does what? Says what?
Does he have kids? How old is he?
Are you putting in genuine work on yourself to behave more submissively in your real life, so
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Every command is an opportunity to train yourself.
Every time he tells you to do something, you have a choice.
You can respond "okay" and learn and train nothing, or "yes, Sir/Master/honorific" and slightly deepen your own submissive obedience.
Be good. Submit, every time. 🧎
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Yes, I'm going to talk about bratting again. Yes, I'll probably regret it.
Masters don't enjoy brats. Some of us love when our submissives are playful. What's the difference?
I've written about this many times, and every time the brats get their panties in a bunch because they
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I'm going to take a bit of a break from Twitter/𝕏, not because anything is wrong in my life, but because everything is currently going just right.
I'm in a very satisfying real life relationship with a smoking hot girl, and we want to find another girl to join us IRL; those are
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Sadism is not dominance.
If you get off on hurting people, that's all well and good. It's a popular kink, and I have been known to explore it in my own dynamics.
But sadism is a KINK, and getting off on hurting people is not the same as dominance.
Dominance is achieving
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There's nothing wrong with obsessing over your Master, even worshipping him, just a little.
Obsession is merely commitment with more motivation.
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Welp, looks like I've got 7000+ cool kinky people who are into healthy relationships following me now, and that's after never ONCE asking for titties in my DM's, or posting any NSFW memes
Trust me, I've been tempted
I do love titties, and y'all are gorgeous
Anyway, thank you
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Submissives don't lead, but they do invite
It's not 'dominating from the bottom' or being controlling to offer yourself, to give him choices, to make yourself appear more enticing
Submission involves actively soliciting his arousal, offering him service, obedience, and pleasure
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Submissives, please 'like' or repost this if you have ever been in a dynamic or relationship that you thought would last forever, and it didn't.
You don't have to comment any details if you don't want to, but I know other submissives would appreciate knowing they are not alone.
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'Ownership' of another person comes with the heavy responsibility of making sure all their needs are met.
Occasionally commanding tasks isn't ownership.
Only playing with them when nobody else more fun is available isn't ownership.
Leaving them on 'read' isn't ownership.
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"How do I get my partner to be more dominant?"
If you are a submissive who is struggling to submit because your partner has become apathetic, low energy, or prefers to remain inert, I believe you can get them to lead more by submitting more.
What does that mean, and how?
🧵
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I have been privileged to share some great private conversations in my DMs over the years, with both dominants and submissives, and one thing has become abundantly, painfully clear.
Whether you're a submissive woman or a submissive man, many people who are submissive feel
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Submission is when you're more focused on how happy you want to make your Master than how happy they make you.
Why is this so important? Because emotions are dynamic, and your happiness changes like the weather.
Focusing on your Master provides shelter from your own emotions.
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This one might ruffle a few feathers.
Can you BE a submissive, and also not ACT submissive? Oh yes. But how can this be, and why?
"SubmissIVE" means you enjoy serving, obeying, and pleasing.
"SubmissION" means you willfully serve, obey, and please someone else.
There are a
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I did something new yesterday and it... ended well.
She was mindlessly on her phone, and I commanded her to put it down and "give me attention" instead.
The act of telling her I wanted affection was enough to light her up. Cuddles escalated.
It's okay to ask for what you need.
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A submissive who trusts their dominant enough to serve, obey, and please him should expect they will be led and taken care of.
A dominant who is worth serving, who is kind and grateful for all the gifts they have been given in life, should expect to lead and take care of those
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It's important for submissives to know that no mentally healthy person can be 'dominant' all the time.
We go through emotional, physical, and mental peaks and troughs too, just like you do.
Sometimes we're just not feeling it, and we need the same patience, understanding,
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If you are 'at your best' when you are serving, obeying, and pleasing, like I am 'at my best' when I am leading, teaching
then submissive isn't just a role you play
it's who you are
so becoming the best submissive you can be, is your path to becoming the best possible 'you'
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Submissives, serve your Master.
Masters, serve your family.
Submissives, obey your Master.
Masters, don't be dicks.
Both of you, get out of your own selfish heads and hearts, and serve each other, in your own unique, un-equal, un-fair, functional, frictionless, beautiful way.
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Relationships are hard.
Dynamics with structure can be slightly less hard, because (if you negotiate properly, and then follow through) at least you both know exactly how you're supposed to behave, and when life goes sideways you know who is supposed to lead you through it.
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Submissive types thrive on clear expectations; nothing distresses them more than not knowing what's expected of them.
Discussing your expectations and boundaries demonstrates you care about your partner enough to want them to understand your plans for the dynamic moving forward.
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Submission is knowing you love tacos and pizza, you'll tolerate hamburgers, you actively dislike almonds, and you are allergic to cranberries, and preferring a Dominant who knows all these things about you choose what you have for dinner.
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"How do I know if I am actually a sub? I like to serve and to make a man happy, but when i imagine that he will want me just sitting at home, or saying 'no' if I want to go to work or out with my friends, I have doubts."
That's a great question. If you like to serve, please, and
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'Compatibility' in D/s is often less about 'shared desires' and more about how much room you have in your life to commit responsibility to someone else.
Whether you're on the dominant or submissive side of the slash, if you expect to have a healthy relationship, you should
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Dominance is authenticity; having the balls to be who you genuinely are.
If my 'voice' on here sounds unique, that's because it is. Because no other dominant can be me, nor I them.
There is no universal 'style' that can be copied to pretend you're a dominant, and it's obvious
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If as a submissive, you can find happiness in the happiness your Master derives from your endless giving and sacrifice, then you will both get to enjoy endless happiness, generated every day by your own efforts to serve, obey, and please him.
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A lot of guys think dominance starts and ends with power and control, but they're wrong.
Power and control without gratitude is empty, meaningless.
Why would you risk submitting to someone unless he's grateful for all the gifts he's been blessed with in his life, including you?
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All submissives need regular doses of reassurance. Even when nothing is wrong. And especially when something is.
An inexperienced dominant might respond with frustration or annoyance when a sub checks in when everything is going fine, or worse yet leave her on 'read'.
If you're
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Submissives rarely know what they 'want' because by definition "submissive" means having a nature that is compatible with submitting to what someone else wants.
That discontented uncertainty of 'want' persists until a sub commits to slavery, and wanting whatever Master wants.
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Maybe an unpopular opinion, but dominance is not about having the 'experience' or imagination to keep a submissive entertained.
Domination is getting exactly what the dominant authentically wants, and nothing he doesn't want.
A dominant who is also a good partner gives his
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It is perfectly normal for a submissive to want to feel "ownership" over their dominant.
Not in a restrictive, nor controlling way, but it is normal to want to know they're 'yours' as in, you know who they're doing what with, and their behavior is reliable, predictable.
Some
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Submission is a natural state for some people.
For those people, you just have to open the door and invite them inside to get comfortable and get to work doing what they love to do best.
Trying to shove them through the door is counterproductive, and only makes them push back.
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Since it's Monday, here's your beginning of the week reminder:
Submission isn't passive; it's not letting someone control you, or do things to you. That's just bottoming.
Submission is the satisfying, fulfilling, ACTIVE process of serving, obeying, and pleasing your Master.
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As a dominant, reward your submissives with your sounds of pleasure so they know they're 'doing you' right.
Moan, pant, groan, curse, whimper, let your body enjoy whatever it wants.
Give them feedback, let them know how good they are making you feel.
They want you happy.
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A submissive and a dominant become a cohesive pair when they know how to meet each other's needs, are good at meeting each other's needs, and want to meet each other's needs.
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Give me a simple girl who wants nothing more from life than cuddles, her Master's cock, a few friends, butt smacks, time with her family, fresh air, kitties, clean clothes, a tidy home, a humble, well stocked kitchen where she can make her own home cooked food, and more cuddles.
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I think the 'ownership' and 'property' aspects of D/s relationships are important, but not for the reason many people promote, especially on social media.
So many people are resistant to commitment that most relationships almost seem... disposable. And in fact, disposability is
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Dominants often feel a ton of weight on our shoulders to perform up to standards higher than any normal person can reasonably achieve.
It's extremely helpful when our submissive(s) can identify when we need a moment of protection - primarily from our harsh judgment of ourselves.
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A "bottom" is someone who likes to have things done to them; often very specific things, often actively disliking other things.
A "submissive" is someone who enjoys serving, obeying, and pleasing, regardless whether they are on "top" or "bottom".
It's an important difference.
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I can't stress this enough.
If your partner is talking to you, stop everything you're doing and pay attention.
Calling yourself a 'dominant' is no excuse to minimize or ignore your partner's daily bids for connection, love, and belonging.
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One of the key traits of an excellent submissive is careful attention to your dominant's style, preferences, likes and dislikes.
Not just so you can serve, obey, and please better, but because it demonstrates you care about things outside yourself, and pride yourself on giving.
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People often know exactly what they want... until they're offered the chance to have it.
Then the second guessing, cold feet, self-sabotage, imposter syndrome, and other barriers to actually living the life you want to live raise their voices in objection, and you have to power
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Action is more important than words for Masters too
If his submissive is struggling in some way, a crappy Master prioritizes himself, pulls away, and criticizes from a lofty distance
A good Master prioritizes his dynamic and partner, jumps in and helps get things back on course
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I want to take a moment to express gratitude, for you.
Yes, you.
I love that I can have some random thought jump into my head, puke it out here, and a community of beautiful people read it and offer your thoughtful insights and support.
Thank you for being part of my life.
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Every time you choose to be obedient and demonstrate your submission is a gift; a chance to live authentically in the role you have chosen for yourself.
You're the one who wanted this life, right?
Why would you waste even one rare, precious opportunity to be who you want to be?
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As a submissive, the more you focus internally on your own happiness and fulfillment, the less submissive you're being.
When you focus on your dominant instead, and obeying, serving, and pleasing him, then you're being submissive, which is what will make you happy and fulfilled.
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REAL TALK:
I'm going to make some of you mad and lose followers over this, and I don't care.
I get hit up for this advice in my DM's about once a week. You might need to hear it too.
Subs/slaves... it's time to get rid of your "online dom" and find a real life partner.
🧵
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The importance of active bottoming cannot be overstated.
A sub who offers effort, is excited to kneel, shakes their butt to encourage spanking, makes yummy whimpering noises to arouse and excite; will always be more fun to play with than one who merely absorbs dominant energy.
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"Do anything you want to me" is lazy, entitled, and boring. Most importantly, it's not submission, it's just bottoming.
"I know what you like, and what you want... please, let me do it for you" is actual submission.
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The most obvious indicator of whether someone is actually submissive or just using the kinky-but-incorrect label when it suits them, is their focus in bed.
Submission has nothing to do with who is on top and who is on bottom.
Instead, submissive people get turned on by their
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"What is 'parallel play'"?
'Parallel play' is when people 'play' their own 'games' next to each other and don't interact with each other. It's one of the most important things people in successful long term relationships do.
When she's on her laptop working on school, I'm
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Getting turned on by sucking dick is the ultimate submissive life hack.
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Submissives: start to think about acts of submission as a fetish.
Everybody thinks about the 'topping' aspects of BDSM - the bondage, the impact, the collars, the leashes - but if you think about it, most of these kinks are imagined by submissives, as things done to them.
It's
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A healthy relationship provides a special kind of security.
Not the 'security' of a promise that everything will be okay; that's irrational. No one can promise everything will be okay.
But the security of knowing that no matter what happens, you won't be going through it alone.
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All but lost in this rapid-fire world of 'gooning' and entitlement is an ancient truth: it's the submissive's role to seduce, and ultimately achieve commitment from a dominant, not the other way around.
I'm straight, but this wisdom applies regardless of your orientation. I
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A Master doesn't do none of the work while slaves do all the work.
What actually happens is, Master decides who does what, ideally taking into account personal preferences, strengths, skill sets, and goals, to make sure the whole family is sustainable and all the work gets done.
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"Be mine, I'll solve all your problems" is probably the biggest lie in BDSM.
"Be with me, and I'll work with you to solve what problems we are capable of solving together, and we can lick each other's wounds when one or both of us fail" is way less sexy, and way more honest.
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Praise in public.
Correct, command, steer, give humble and helpful feedback, guide, lead, encourage, cheerlead, and support in private.
Do not criticize. Criticism does not build relationships, it only damages them.
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"Why do you need a second girl if you already have a smoking hot slave living with you?"
She has big goals she's working on, and she wants to share the responsibility of taking care of her Master and our home with another girl, who wants the same thing.
Also we both like girls.
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QUESTION OF THE DAY
What are your thoughts on 'orgasm denial'?
Whether commanded or self-imposed, from "I don't need to climax during sex" to "you can only cum if I give you permission" to "only Masters get to, ever" there seem to be a whole lot of people into it.
Are you?
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D/s is a two person dynamic with equal energetic investment towards shared goals, not a Dom making a sub do stuff against resistance.
Every interaction is a collaborative effort, that should start with some kind of energetic 'ping' to see if both people are present, ready, and
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A slave does not wait for a command, to kneel.
She lowers herself; at her Master's feet, between his legs, or her head in his lap is where she feels most comfortable, at peace, at home.
Kneeling is her safe place, her default setting.
If anything, she needs commanded to rise.
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I honestly think when most people say "I want to be dominated in the bedroom" they actually mean "I want to be a bottom during sex, and also objectified, used as an object for my partner's pleasure" which is actually not the same as submission.
Submitting is serving, obeying,
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Today is a very special day.
It's the one year anniversary of
@happyslavegirl
achieving the highest place in my home, as my collared slave.
I am deeply in love with this girl. I have been fortunate to have experienced love many times in my life, but this combination of
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If as a submissive you are your 'best self' when you are serving, obeying, and pleasing, and you have been chosen by a dominant to serve, obey, and please him, then you are fulfilling your purpose when you make him cum.
It's for you. That's why you beg for it, then thank him.
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"BDSM is when a submissive gets what they need, and a dominant gets what they want."
This (accurate) perspective 'sticks' in a lot of people's 'craw', for good reason, and I want to attempt to explain the nuance that makes it make sense.
When two people enter a consensual
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Dominance done right glorifies submission.
Everyone knows there's nothing more satisfying to a submissive than successfully pleasing their dominant. So their dominant should look for opportunities to make them feel successful and proud and satisfied, and most of all appreciated.
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My
@happyslavegirl
isn't into social media and doesn't use 𝕏 unless I tell her to post something.
She came on last night to 'like' the last hundred things I wrote, smiled, and said "all you do is come on here and brag about how much you like me and how great our life is".
Yup.
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How does a submissive or slave become irreplaceable?
Help your Master get whatever he wants.
That's the secret.
Don't just tolerate it.
Put in ACTION, and help him get it.
He wants more subs? Don't just sit back and 'want that for him', help him find them and bring them
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Observation:
Many subs seem to follow me to learn about healthy BDSM, then leave when they find a Dom, then come back when it doesn't work out, to figure out what went wrong.
Relationships are hard. You should interact with this material MORE when you're in a dynamic, not less.
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If I could get one message across to young, or unsatisfied, or even desperate submissives, it would be this:
Self-care to keep yourself in good working order so you can be of service, is healthy and necessary.
Self-empowerment and knowing your worth, is healthy and necessary.
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Things submissives may not understand:
I genuinely enjoy coming to the rescue. Not because submissives are helpless, but because I like to feel needed, wanted, purposeful, prioritized, and heroic, as someone you trust when you need help and would otherwise feel alone.
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Submissives who latch on to the first 'dominant' to make them feel special are the hardest to teach because they're so happy to be 'claimed' and 'owned' they stop asking others if what "daddy" is doing is healthy, and instead proudly justify all his unhealthy behaviors to others.
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I don't want to control anyone's life. Why double my work, when you are doing just fine?
What I want, is the ability and authority to steer your life when I decide you need a nudge in the right direction, or if I want something from you I know you're willing and excited to give.
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