LEGO Joseph Smith
@Mormonger
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M̶o̶r̶m̶o̶n̶ Member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints - #GeneralConference - #ThinkCelestial
My Bishop's Office
Joined May 2013
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Pinned Tweet
God designed marriage to be a covenantal, sexual, procreative, and eternal union between a man and a woman, as husband and wife
The divine differences between male and female were created by God to promote human flourishing and well-being
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Nobody talks about Jesus' miracle of having 12 close friends in his 30s
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When people outside Utah find out I'm Mormon they always ask how many moms I have. It's ignorant and offensive. Just because my dad has 7 wives doesn't mean each one is my mom.
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Ballard: Take time to unplug
Me: *Puts phone down*
Ballard: But there's nothing wrong with taking advantage of technology
Me: *Picks phone right back up*
#LDSconf
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When someone has been sharing their testimony for 15 min+
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Mormons: Motherhood is the most scared of all duties in this life
*Woman breastfeeds her child*
Mormons: Gross
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Child: What's a mission?
Me: Imagine trick-or-treating for 2 years without any candy...
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"I bet the president of the Mormon church has a fleet of yachts on that great salt lake."
The President of the church:
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"Wait- You're a Mormon?"
Me: Yeah. Why?
"You don't talk like a Mormon."
Me: What the F*** is that supposed to mean?
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During priesthood, I took the Young Men out to shovel drive ways. Because it's better to teach by action than by words... and also, I forgot to prepare the lesson
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"Brothers & Sisters, we are so back."
- Joseph Smith
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Man, Moroni drops his trumpet one time and the church fires him.
Love the new logo...
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LESSSGOOOOO!!!!
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Imagine spending 10 hours of your weekend listening to General Conference just so you can publicly hate on everything that's said.
Do you not have family to spend time with?
Friends?
A hobby?
Most pathetic thing I've ever seen.
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Why is everyone acting like it's so hard to not have sex?
They act like it's a mistake that just happens sometimes.
Is sex like tripping & falling for these people?
Am I gifted or something?
I meet people, and with minimal effort, do not have sex with them like all the time.
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Best
#GeneralConference
Speakers Ranked:
15. it’s
14. impossible
13. to
12. rank
11. general
10. authorities
9. as
8. they
7. are
6. all
5. mouth
4. pieces
3. of
2. God
1.
@HollandJeffreyR
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@StaceyHarkey
@danbanbam
This is the best content that's ever been tweeted at 4 in the morning
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David Whitmer claimed to be a witness of the gold plates, but after being offended by the saints, he still left the church.
This would have been the perfect opportunity to get wealthy from denying his testimony.
But after 50 years and 70+ interviews, he never once denied it.
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Elder Johnson: Read the scriptures
Me: Yeah, I'll get around to it
Elder Johnson: Every day
Me: Every day?
Elder Johnson: Every day!
Me: Surely, you don't mea-
Elder Johnson: EVERY DAY!
#ElderJohnson
|
#GeneralConference
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Marvel: Infinity War is the most ambitious crossover event in history
#PresNelson
: In each ward, the high priests and the elders will now be combined into one elders quorum
#LDSconf
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"Many other organizations can and do make your life better here in mortality.
But no other organization can and will influence your life after death."
-
@NelsonRussellM
|
#GeneralConference
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Why do you assume that because I believe homosexual acts are sinful, I must hate gay people?
Every person I love commits acts that are sinful.
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I got married in Arizona. 115 degrees while wearing a suit. I too testify that AZ is uninhabitable.
#GeneralConference
|
#ElderRenlund
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"The Proclamation on The Family clarifies the requirements that prepare us to live with God The Father, and His Son, Jesus Christ.
Those who do not fully understand The Father's loving plan for His Children may consider this proclamation no more than a changeable statement of
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Me: So you left the church because Joseph Smith used a stone in a hat to translate The Book of Mormon?
Them: No, I left because the church lied. They told me a different story.
Me: What story did they tell you?
Them: I was told Joseph Smith translated the gold plates by the
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Nothing strengthens my testimony more than an anti-Mormon explaining how Joseph Smith created The Book of Mormon 😂🤣😭☠️
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@BenZeisloft
Which God is greater...
The God whose children can become Gods
or the God whose children cannot?
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I usually say "I'm a follower of Christ" instead of "I'm Mormon."
Not because I'm ashamed to be Mormon, but because "follower of Christ" starts a conversation about God, His love for us, Christ's atonement...
"I'm Mormon" starts a conversation about coffee & funny underwear
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"I saw a pillar of light exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me."
#GeneralConference
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"𝘐𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘷𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘰𝘶𝘴, 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘺, 𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘺, 𝘸𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘬 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴."
Explain to me how you, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, can, in
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Imagine 1M people who have never heard of Christianity.
They are each given The Bible.
After reading it, how many of them conclude that The Bible teaches the doctrine of The Trinity?
My guess?
D*mn near 0
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"Mormons are not Christian" is trending.
This might sound offensive to us at first, but ask these people how they define "Christian" and you'll be glad you're not that.
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I'm seeing more and more excommunicated folks getting re-baptized.
What's going on?
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"How do you sleep knowing your church opposes same-sex marriage?"
Me:
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A voice so Celestial you don't even have to pray to know if what it said was true
@PatrickKearon
|
#GeneralConference
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One thing I like about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is that its true.
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"If you think BYU removed a lot from my talk, you should see what President Nelson made me take out before I delivered it!"
- Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
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My brother in Christ, this is literally the first page of The Book of Mormon...
@Mormonger
@LeeStrobel
You don't believe that Jesus is God, that He is eternal. Jesus is not a created being. I do not have enough space in X to list all of the verses supporting this.
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Singles Ward Bishop:
Well, that concludes our interview
Me:
Aren't you gonna ask me about The Law of Chastity?
Bishop:
*Stares directly at my mustache*
No need
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Ain't no way on H*ll Joseph Smith was sporting a blanket that pink, bro.
What else is the church lying about?
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You mean to tell me this is the big scary Mormon meanie everyone is talking about?
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If only God would have created some kind of union between a man and a woman
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On September 21, 1823, the angel Moroni appeared to Joseph Smith, prophesying that Joseph's name
"should be had for good and evil among all nations, kindreds, and tongues"
Today there are over 17 million members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in nearly 200
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Can God create the entire universe?
I can get on board with that.
Can God's Son rise from the dead?
Sure.
But can God's prophet translate an ancient record with a stone?
That's where I draw the line.
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General Conference sometimes brings shade, not sunshine, to the LDS soul:
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The fact that Joseph Smith even survived long enough to become the prophet was a miracle of God.
In 1813, at the age of 7, Joseph Smith faced a life-threatening leg condition (osteomyelitis)
Miraculously, the only physician in The United States with the expertise to treat this
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So far
#ldsconf
seems to be hyper- focused on telling
@Ch_JesusChrist
members to be better at covenant-keeping, temple-attending, garment-wearing, meeting-attending all for celestial and temporal blessings. Not a lot about being Christlike.
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Mission President: Why hasn't this Brother been baptized yet?
Me: Well, we have a problem.
Mission President: There are no problems Elder, only opportunities.
Me: OK, well he has a huge drug opportunity.
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Why am I the only one laughing?
This is so funny 😂
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Oh, is that all it does?
I am really confused why so many people take offense at pride month
All it does is recognize people that for so long have been marginalized
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Read The Book of Mormon.
Consider it's complexity and depth.
Ask yourself
"Do I believe Joseph Smith fabricated this, all within a ~2 month time period?"
Miracle.
#GeneralConference
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A whistleblower says the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints’ investment firm has over $100 billion – more than any religious fund in America. Instead of doing good, the church is bending the law, said a whistleblower. 60 Minutes reports, Sunday.
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"Imagine getting divorced, then spending the rest of your life at the weddings of complete strangers, trying to convince them why they shouldn’t get married."
- Me, explaining what anti-mormons are like
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Imagine spending 10 hours of your weekend listening to General Conference just so you can publicly hate on everything that's said.
Do you not have family to spend time with?
Friends?
A hobby?
Most pathetic thing I've ever seen.
#GeneralConference
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Let me get this straight...
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints...
Receives 10% of a small groups income
--> 100 Billion Dollars
The United States government...
Takes 40% of an entire nation's income
--> -22 Trillion Dollars
?????
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@michaeljknowles
@KSLcom
"The Proclamation on The Family clarifies the requirements that prepare us to live with God The Father, and His Son, Jesus Christ.
Those who do not fully understand The Father's loving plan for His Children may consider this proclamation no more than a changeable statement of
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"How's 2020 going?"
Me: Well, Australia caught on fire,
Kobe Bryant died, there's a coronavirus pandemic, we're living in quarantine, and everything's falling apart from earthquakes
...but the
@hankrsmith
tweets are 🔥
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Christ is King 👑
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We need to stop judging people by the color of their skin and start judging people by the color of their hair
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The most embarrassing part of how terrible we drive in Utah is that we do it stone cold sober
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Not getting any dates
What’s a habit you developed on your mission that you kept for awhile upon returning home?
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Our prophet was skiing down a mountain at 94 years old.
Our president just fell off a bike that wasn't even moving.
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