God designed marriage to be a covenantal, sexual, procreative, and eternal union between a man and a woman, as husband and wife
The divine differences between male and female were created by God to promote human flourishing and well-being
When people outside Utah find out I'm Mormon they always ask how many moms I have. It's ignorant and offensive. Just because my dad has 7 wives doesn't mean each one is my mom.
Ballard: Take time to unplug
Me: *Puts phone down*
Ballard: But there's nothing wrong with taking advantage of technology
Me: *Picks phone right back up*
#LDSconf
During priesthood, I took the Young Men out to shovel drive ways. Because it's better to teach by action than by words... and also, I forgot to prepare the lesson
Imagine spending 10 hours of your weekend listening to General Conference just so you can publicly hate on everything that's said.
Do you not have family to spend time with?
Friends?
A hobby?
Most pathetic thing I've ever seen.
Why is everyone acting like it's so hard to not have sex?
They act like it's a mistake that just happens sometimes.
Is sex like tripping & falling for these people?
Am I gifted or something?
I meet people, and with minimal effort, do not have sex with them like all the time.
Best
#GeneralConference
Speakers Ranked:
15. it’s
14. impossible
13. to
12. rank
11. general
10. authorities
9. as
8. they
7. are
6. all
5. mouth
4. pieces
3. of
2. God
1.
@HollandJeffreyR
David Whitmer claimed to be a witness of the gold plates, but after being offended by the saints, he still left the church.
This would have been the perfect opportunity to get wealthy from denying his testimony.
But after 50 years and 70+ interviews, he never once denied it.
Elder Johnson: Read the scriptures
Me: Yeah, I'll get around to it
Elder Johnson: Every day
Me: Every day?
Elder Johnson: Every day!
Me: Surely, you don't mea-
Elder Johnson: EVERY DAY!
#ElderJohnson
|
#GeneralConference
Marvel: Infinity War is the most ambitious crossover event in history
#PresNelson
: In each ward, the high priests and the elders will now be combined into one elders quorum
#LDSconf
"Many other organizations can and do make your life better here in mortality.
But no other organization can and will influence your life after death."
-
@NelsonRussellM
|
#GeneralConference
"The Proclamation on The Family clarifies the requirements that prepare us to live with God The Father, and His Son, Jesus Christ.
Those who do not fully understand The Father's loving plan for His Children may consider this proclamation no more than a changeable statement of
Me: So you left the church because Joseph Smith used a stone in a hat to translate The Book of Mormon?
Them: No, I left because the church lied. They told me a different story.
Me: What story did they tell you?
Them: I was told Joseph Smith translated the gold plates by the
I usually say "I'm a follower of Christ" instead of "I'm Mormon."
Not because I'm ashamed to be Mormon, but because "follower of Christ" starts a conversation about God, His love for us, Christ's atonement...
"I'm Mormon" starts a conversation about coffee & funny underwear
"𝘐𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘷𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘰𝘶𝘴, 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘺, 𝘰𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘺, 𝘸𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘬 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴."
Explain to me how you, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, can, in
Imagine 1M people who have never heard of Christianity.
They are each given The Bible.
After reading it, how many of them conclude that The Bible teaches the doctrine of The Trinity?
My guess?
D*mn near 0
"Mormons are not Christian" is trending.
This might sound offensive to us at first, but ask these people how they define "Christian" and you'll be glad you're not that.
@Mormonger
@LeeStrobel
You don't believe that Jesus is God, that He is eternal. Jesus is not a created being. I do not have enough space in X to list all of the verses supporting this.
Singles Ward Bishop:
Well, that concludes our interview
Me:
Aren't you gonna ask me about The Law of Chastity?
Bishop:
*Stares directly at my mustache*
No need
On September 21, 1823, the angel Moroni appeared to Joseph Smith, prophesying that Joseph's name
"should be had for good and evil among all nations, kindreds, and tongues"
Today there are over 17 million members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in nearly 200
Can God create the entire universe?
I can get on board with that.
Can God's Son rise from the dead?
Sure.
But can God's prophet translate an ancient record with a stone?
That's where I draw the line.
The fact that Joseph Smith even survived long enough to become the prophet was a miracle of God.
In 1813, at the age of 7, Joseph Smith faced a life-threatening leg condition (osteomyelitis)
Miraculously, the only physician in The United States with the expertise to treat this
So far
#ldsconf
seems to be hyper- focused on telling
@Ch_JesusChrist
members to be better at covenant-keeping, temple-attending, garment-wearing, meeting-attending all for celestial and temporal blessings. Not a lot about being Christlike.
Mission President: Why hasn't this Brother been baptized yet?
Me: Well, we have a problem.
Mission President: There are no problems Elder, only opportunities.
Me: OK, well he has a huge drug opportunity.
Read The Book of Mormon.
Consider it's complexity and depth.
Ask yourself
"Do I believe Joseph Smith fabricated this, all within a ~2 month time period?"
Miracle.
#GeneralConference
A whistleblower says the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints’ investment firm has over $100 billion – more than any religious fund in America. Instead of doing good, the church is bending the law, said a whistleblower. 60 Minutes reports, Sunday.
"Imagine getting divorced, then spending the rest of your life at the weddings of complete strangers, trying to convince them why they shouldn’t get married."
- Me, explaining what anti-mormons are like
Imagine spending 10 hours of your weekend listening to General Conference just so you can publicly hate on everything that's said.
Do you not have family to spend time with?
Friends?
A hobby?
Most pathetic thing I've ever seen.
#GeneralConference
Let me get this straight...
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints...
Receives 10% of a small groups income
--> 100 Billion Dollars
The United States government...
Takes 40% of an entire nation's income
--> -22 Trillion Dollars
?????
@michaeljknowles
@KSLcom
"The Proclamation on The Family clarifies the requirements that prepare us to live with God The Father, and His Son, Jesus Christ.
Those who do not fully understand The Father's loving plan for His Children may consider this proclamation no more than a changeable statement of
"How's 2020 going?"
Me: Well, Australia caught on fire,
Kobe Bryant died, there's a coronavirus pandemic, we're living in quarantine, and everything's falling apart from earthquakes
...but the
@hankrsmith
tweets are 🔥