Trans man(he/him). Bi,polyam,sex-positive,grey ace,switch.
Possible spicy/NSFW topics.
ND. Disabled. Christian. 40's.❤️Husband of
@NowHereThis2
. Partner of E❤
Love and marriage does not have to look one specific way. Not everyone needs that piece of paper. When love arrives in your life, you grab hold of it with both hands.
@NowHereThis2
and I are excited to announce that we are husbands. We hope you'll share our joy❤️
PSA: If you are a nurse, when you ask a patient if they have anyone at home to care for them after surgery, and that patient says no, the correct response is to believe them, not make out like they're lying and then shame them for not having someone in their life that can 1/4
drop everything to be with them. Not everyone has people in their lives that are able to help in this way, for many and varied reasons. If you are privileged enough to have people you can call on, that's fantastic, but please, especially as a medical professional, do not 2/4
Also, a further reminder that just because someone is disabled, does *not* automatically mean that they get various forms of in-person support. So many of us do this alone, not through choice but necessity. Please, do not make this harder for us. It is already hard enough💙 4/4
shame others who tell you they don't have this option. You do not know what circumstances led to that person's situation, or what choices they may have had to make in their life that mean they don't have anyone to care for them in person after a procedure. 3/4
A reminder that we do not have true marriage equality until disabled people can live with and, if they choose, legally marry a partner, without risking the loss of any disability benefits they may be on. 1/3
While my own marriage to my husband is primarily unconventional for different reasons, and involves no legal contract(we're long distance polyamorous spouses), it still stands that many disabled people do not have the *option* to legally marry unless we 2/3
are prepared to sacrifice what little financial independence we do have. Obviously this is problematic on a number of levels. We deserve to retain financial independence. We deserve equality. 3/3
Didn't realise this was resonating so much with so many of you(my notifications are glitchy as heck). Thank you so much to everyone who's liking and commenting! I'm struggling to keep up, but I appreciate you all❤️🤗
Some years ago, I came out as bi to my then partner. That's when the violence began. I ended up in a shelter, lost basically all my belongings, and had to rebuild from the ground up. I was one of the lucky ones-I am still alive-many are not.
Bisexuals can't even be proud of their identity without someone branding them as cheaters. This attitude of seeing our bisexuality as a form of infidelity is one of the reasons why bisexuals have such high stats of facing IPV
Alright, friends. It's the morning of my surgery and I'm full steam ahead. Bag packed, fasting has now begun. Still a few hours before I go to hospital. I'll update as I'm able. Thank you for the private messages of love and support too. I appreciate you all❤️
Update. Not good news friends. I have to go to hospital, emergency department soon. Just waiting for CT and Ultrasound urgent report, then home to pack a bag and feed Charlie. Very stressed.
Any other disabled people find it takes a while to get going in the mornings(or whenever you wake up)? It takes me at least an hour to feel like I can function to start my day. I miss the days where I could jump out of bed, get dressed, eat and be good to go in under an hour😅
Extremely exhausted from all that hospital ordeal and surgery yesterday, but I'm home at last. I need to have a coffee and cuddles with Charlie cat. A massive thank you to everyone who checked in and commented well-wishes. Love to you all❤️
@Dawnf1
@janetm50723412
Ah, I'm so sorry! I live alone partly through choice, partly through circumstance. That's horrible they didn't let you know there was another option, and made you jump through hoops😔🫂
A reminder⬇️
Image description: drawing of a white cat, with blue, pink and yellow pattern, on a blue background, with "Not all disabilities are visible" written on the blue scalloped edge round background.
Update from me. Still in the corridor. Getting fluids, and am on a cocktail of meds. They're going to operate today and put a stent in. I'm exhausted but pain is finally under control, and I feel like I'm being taken care of well so far💙
Alive, still in hospital, had breakfast etc. Today is really hard and there are things going on that have been unexpected and extremely challenging for me, so I don't have capacity to reply right now to comments or DMs. I will attempt to update and reply when I'm more able💙
Oh boy...time to play "Did I get covid while I was in hospital?" I thought this was my body's usual reaction to antibiotics, but nope. This is definitely something different. Wish me luck, friends😅(I have stuff to hydrate and will test and I'm good for now).
Had a decline suddenly and not stable, so can't go home yet. Some weird symptoms. They're sending me for chest X ray soon. ECG shows no heart attack which is good. Keep me in your thoughts please, friends❤️🫂
@Jubilee4Jesus
What a truly beautiful post, and what beautiful photos these are! There is truly such joy in being able to be our authentic selves in every sense, and to support the ones we love to be every bit of their authentic selves too. Sending much love to you both!🥰
Made it home. Charlie cat is sad and mad that I went away suddenly. She doesn't understand why, but she came over to greet me when I got back. I am very tired, friends. So much has happened, and I'm not in the clear yet. I'm going to nap. Love to you all❤️
Out of surgery, friends. The actual surgery went well, but I had some complications in recovery. I'm now back in my actual room and being monitored closely.
When you see someone's posts on your timeline, and get that butterflies-in-your-tummy feeling because you have a huge crush, and then you remember that he's actually your husband now☺️😍
For those of you that are new here: I'm a disabled trans man, and a survivor of many things, including DV. I'm also bi, grey ace, practice ethical polyamory, ND, and on a new journey as a queer Christian. I'm also a husband, and a cat dad to an elderly rescue cat. 1/3
Update: Finally back on the ward. Things didn't go smoothly either before or after, but am alive and alright. Will update later properly, loves. Love to all❤️
Am I poor and disabled? Yes. Do I have a roof over my head these days? Also yes. That puts me in a privileged position, compared to many other people, who are still literally on the street. Your reminder that housing is a human right. Not one person should be unhoused.
Update about what happened with surgery and aftermath, for those interested: I was wheeled down to surgery at 1.45pm yesterday, but didn't get into the operating theatre until 3.45pm, due to them not having the correct stuff they needed(I have an allergy to iodine contrast) 1/9
For anyone who needs it today: You are allowed to make new/different choices, if/when you have new information, and *also* you are allowed to do what's best for you *even if* all you have is a gut feeling. You are allowed to change your mind. You are allowed to choose yourself❤️
Disabled life for me means always being on the search for cozy pants/pyjamas. Found these winter pyjama pants and oh my....😍😍😍
(yes, odd socks, it was dark and I don't care🤣)
CW: medical devices.
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The face of a man who has removed his own stent. I had to do it a little earlier than planned, before I lost my nerve, but I was successful. Body was a little shocked afterwards(no surprise, it's been through trauma over the past couple 1/2
A big shout out to my moots. I very much appreciate your posts and comments, and the parts of your lives you share with me here, and in DMs. Thank you for sharing my online life too❤️🫂
With (c)PTSD (and stages of agoraphobia), I find it hard to go to places and deal with people(especially if it's new places and people). However, today I pushed myself to go to the library. I also got the librarian to order me a book so that I have to go back to collect😁💪🏻
Your little reminder to look carefully at supposed LGBTQIA+ allies. If they're Biphobic, Transphobic, Nonbinaryphobic, Intersexphobic etc, then they're *not* actually an ally, *even if* they seem supportive of other members of the LGBTQIA+ community-give them a big miss.
But...I am now finally home! I made it!😁 The plan is rest, try not to accidentally pull my stent out before the 7 day mark, and stay out of hospital😝Thank you to everyone who's sent messages, commented and sent love etc. It means the world, and I appreciate you all greatly❤️9/9
Post hospital mood drop, here we go. Now that I'm home and can process, the experiences over the past couple of days are hitting a bit hard, and I'm a bit emotional. Pet pics/happy pics, friends, please❤️🫂
Thursday, friends! I spent my first night at home, and slept a lot. It feels like I've been punched in the kidney and things feel bruised, so more meds soon, but compared to the pain of the past 6 weeks, I'm alright so far today. Stent is still fine, so Thursday is okay so far😁
Okay. Discharge imminent. All scans clear and got the green light. Managed a nap. Managed some food. Feeling more capable but will keep an eye on things. Fingers crossed for the trip home being uneventful 😁
Update: a bit of a rough night, but mood has improved after a post-hospital dip, pain has eased a bit, and doing okay so far. I don't feel so much like I've had a jackboot to the kidney today, so that's always good😉
For new followers. I'm a disabled nonbinary transmasc poet, ND, survivor, polyam, vegan, ace. Smex work is work, housing is a human right. No racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia bullsh*t. Free P
@lest
!ne, raise the rate, no one should live in poverty. Welcome😁
Plan for Disability Pride Month-get hotter and weirder🤷🏻♂️. Am I doing it right yet?😜😂
Also, this is your reminder that not all disabilities are visible, dynamic disabilities exist, and many disabled people have active and satisfying sex lives.
#DisabilityPrideMonth
Still alive😝Still out of hospital at this stage, but it's still a high possibility. Kidney stuff(stones) and definite infection. Antibiotics and pain meds for now, but have been advised to call ambulance urgently if any more pain. So...now I wait and see and fingers crossed.
Holy crap, it should not be this hard to try to find out when my next surgery date is! One doctor, two hospitals later, and have had to leave my name and number after being shunted from pillar to post. I'll try again later. I'm out of spoons😅
Feeling super warm and fuzzy about my moots today. Thank you for trusting me, and allowing me to share in your lives-the good, the not so good, the absolute shite, the hilarious, the absurd, the mundane. It's an honour and a privilege to know you here, and I appreciate you all🥰
Just googled how to remove my self-removing stent, in preparation for tomorrow. Yeah....not looking forward to that, to be honest😳😫I may well need a drink, friends😅
Charlie update for those asking: friend has been checking in on Charlie and feeding her. Poor old lovey is worried and confused as to why I'm not there or if I'm coming back(😭💔🥺), but she's okay💙❤️
I stayed masked for the duration of my stay in hospital, except when I was in surgery, had to eat and drink, or take meds. Given how unwell I was, and the fact I was the only one there masked, I'm really proud of my effort. Pic of me upon leaving.
Okay, I am literally in a corridor for the night, but the nurse has done her best to make it private and cozy. I am definitely not well, but I am still masked😁The morning will bring fresh information on what happens next. Love to you all. Thank you for the support and care❤️
Online connections are just as valid as in-person connections. There are *many* reasons people may need or choose to connect with others online, and, while each format has its pros and cons, one is not *less* than the other.
Postives for today:
*Still at home(not in hospital).
*Talked to my love😍❤️
*Charlie💙😁
*Pumpkin salad and mushroom risotto🌱
*Floors are clean 🧹
*Good phone conversation to check in with someone who used to be a neighbour☎️
*Fibro pain minimal
*other pain still managable.