Mike Armiger
@MikeArmiger
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Educator 📖 Advisor 👷♂️Trainer 👟 Coach 🏉 🗣Education, school improvement, Trauma, suicide prevention, coaching, sport #RegulationFramework mike @mpaa .uk
UK & Europe
Joined August 2012
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Yesterday I bumped into a former pupil, now age 20.
He began to cry & said...
"Life was really hard when I was younger and you always made me feel safe. I've always wanted to thankyou for that."
I had no idea.
Our influence reaches places we could not imagine.
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Well there's quite a few actually. They call us teachers...
Quite right too - how many of Toby Young’s critics have worked night and day to provide great state schools for children of every background?
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Guy in gym carpark with head tilted forward in drivers seat. Suspected the worst. Hammered on his window.
He wound the window down and said...
'It's OK I'm not having a stroke, my grandson stayed over last night & I've come to the gym to sleep on the carpark for an hour'
😂
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I didn't want to write this yet but I thought It was time to let people know in one place...
Sadly, Sweep died on Friday at the amazing age of 18.
If you will indulge me, I'd like to tell you why he i was so lucky to have him & a little about his life...
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Whilst we have a long way to go, something that seems to be shifting in my experience, is how more young men are open with their emotional needs.
This moment from James, despite the sadness, is wonderful.
We all need a hug, he felt he needed one & asked 💙
#RaceAcrossTheWorld
Oh I’m a mess. Thank you cameraman for hugging him on behalf of 5 million of us
#RaceAcrossTheWorld
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In all of the noise lets not forget that this election is historic.
Girls everywhere finally get to see a woman of colour be called...
Madam Vice President 🙌
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Ant McPartlin is a reminder that depression & addiction doesn't care for fame or success.
It can happen to anyone.
Hope he gets better soon
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This morning my amazing grandmother sadly died.
Although we weren't able to be with her, the incredible & heroic social care staff were there by her side singing to her & holding her hand.
For that i will be eternally grateful.
I'll be brief but I just needed to say this...
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Dear TV and radio producers that have been in touch,
NO I will not go on your programme to speculate on Caroline flack.
I'll gladly talk to you about why we need to consider people's distress levels before we open our mouths.
But you didn't want that.
When will you learn?
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This afternoon a care experienced child, who has lived in 7 different homes & excluded from 2 schools said this:
"Alot of the time I'm scared. But I find it hard to trust people so I can't tell them that."
Every child I grew up with felt exactly the same.
Scared not naughty.
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I've spent all day crying my eyes out thinking it was near the end of his 16 year life after a quiet and withdrawn two days.
The vet says it's an infection, gives him some steroids and the little sod has just emptied the entire bin.
Never a dull moment with Sweep 😂
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Thankyou for letting me write that. I know people will be experiencing much heavier losses and pain than I.
And for all those who are experiencing grief, my heart goes out to you 🙏
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A friend of mine died by suicide just over a year ago. I was speaking with his wife & children today and something she said hit me right in the gut.
I've spent time with many families bereaved by suicide but the way in which she articulated this issue today really got me...
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"Sir it's boiling."
"I know it's warm today, feel free to fill up your water bottles at any time."
"Know what I like to drink in the sun sir? Pimms."
"Pimms? That's a bit posh."
"That's how this dude rolls sir. It's all about the cucumber & mint."
I love teaching year 9 😂
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Justine Greening has just labelled teachers 'unprofessional' for informing the public of
#schoolcuts
.
How dare we try to protect our kids
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I'm not sure it's the cocaine he needs to apologise for.
I'd like an apology to our children for narrowing the curriculum andnto our teachers for treating them with such distain.
#MichaelGove
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Fatima Whitbread is remarkable.
She has every reason to think the world has failed her, yet she always speaks about the few positive relationships she did have rather than what she didn't. Whilst championing care experienced people.
She is a wonderful human being.
#SPOTY
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Here's an idea for wellbeing Gav...
Maybe give us one holiday without announcing plans that haven't been thought through or funded?
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Teachers... can we all agree that facebook and WhatsApp being down, is nowhere near as traumatic as having no access to the shared drive?!?! 😱😱😱
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Sarina Wiegman is special.
An astonishing leader who's built a team & culture to be proud of.
She allows her players to shine and leads with integrity & humility.
Our team, our game & our county are so fortunate to have her.
Thank you Sarina 🙏🏻
#Lionesses
#WomensWorldCupFinal
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'In those unspeakable moments when life beings me to my knees, I will remind myself that I am all the people that went before me. My body fills me, but they are me. I am their story. And to continue that story they will provide the strength to stand us back up.'
Alan & Peggy 💙
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I've seen a lot of talk recently on students 'Self regulating'.
Here's the thing... Many children who've experienced trauma struggle to self regulate for many reasons I'm happy to explain. So if we are going to talk about self regulation, we must also understand co regulation.
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What do you call a magician who's lost all of his magic?
Ian.
😂
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So thankyou Sweep. For being the best companion I could hope for. For bringing a smile each day, being so funny that I talked about you everywhere I went and your pure & unconditional love.
Even in our grief & deepest sorrow, we recognise our fortune.
We will always love you 💙
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I work alot. And I love it. I'm very fortunate but...I've missed alot of parties, drinks, birthdays & shared times.
And last weekend I did have some time but I had no friends to share it with.
Lesson learnt.
PLEASE invest as much time in friendships as you do in your career.
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I've spent some time by myself over Christmas and new year before and the join in community got me through it. If you're alone for a length of time tomorrow please use the hash tag below and connect with thousands of amazing people.
It's just THE BEST.
💜 To all X
#joinin
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'Trauma informed & expectations'
I work a lot in this area. But I'm concerned about the messaging.
Something I've been seeing for a while now is that being 'Trauma informed' can very often be misinterpreted. Common misinterpretations include...
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I will never forget the man I sat with, in the hospital car park where his wife was dieing.
He wasn't allowed to be with his wife of 50 years, so he looked up to the ward window, blew a kiss & cried.
He & others would have given anything for 10 minutes with their loved ones.
So, when people in an office buy a cake in the middle of the afternoon for someone else they are working in the office with and stop for ten minutes to sing happy birthday and then go back to their desks, this is now called a party?
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I'm not paying any attention to school reopening statements by anyone until it's officially announced.
I will not fuel speculation that will needlessly increase anxieties in families, children & staff until we have all the details & can lay out our response.
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Today I am just so very sorry and sad that a 94 year old woman has lost her partner of 73 years.
I cannot imagine how incredibly painful that must be.
Regardless of any belief, view, privilege, nationality or culture, grief and loss are truly universal.
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I've given up trying to be a proper adult. Here's dinner tonight.
Yes it is what you think...
Yorkshire puddings and hummus.
Beat that freshers....
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If we want calm, safe, regulated children and young people.
We need calm, safe, regulated adults.
Our staff are our most valuable resource.
Staff and students' wellbeing are deeply intertwined.
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Child couldn't wait to tell me this joke this morning...
What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
I've never seen anyone laugh so hard at their own joke that tears rolled down their face.
I loved it 😂🙏
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I'm afraid I don't care much for those who dismiss the impact of abuse & trauma on children. Empathy isn't a dangerous act, it's a courageous and essential one.
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Thread:
We need to deepen our understanding of grief.
Grief isn't only a reaction to death. It's entirely possible for you to grieve for someone who is still alive, someone changing, the loss of what we thought we knew or had, or even for someone we barely knew...
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Having to write a final message to be read to someone I love so very much, but can't currently be with.
Although the enormity of the moment has really hit me, I will be eternally grateful that they're not alone when they die.
Our social care staff are amazing 💙
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A man passed me earlier on a tractor shouting 'It’s the end of the world.'
I think it was farmer Gedden 😂😂
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We must be careful when talking about 'resilience' with young people.
Quite often many who've experienced trauma need to build interdependency, safety, connection and so much more. Not ushered down a route of self healing.
Resilience is more about WE than it is about me.
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I've just been out bird watching with Sinead O'Connor.
So far it's been seven Owls and fifteen Jays...
😂😂
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Please stop seperating emotions into positive and negative.
We need to validate feelings and encourage curiosity not tell children that they shouldn't be feeling a certain way.
All emotions serve a purpose given the right context and circumstance.
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Can we please STOP using 'resilience' models with children who have experienced trauma?
They need to build dependency, connection and safety not be ushered down the route of self healing.
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If you believe that the children I teach deserve a detention for not having equipment when they've often got their siblings to school, cared for their ill parent and gone hungry, then you're completely out of touch with reality.
#CompassionBeforeDetention
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Last year I lost a close friend to suicide. I spoke with him the day before and had no idea. I still feel the regret most days.
Now each day I try to ensure people feel heard & supported. Together we can create the circumstance in which someone may be able to share their pain.
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A few years ago
#JoinIn
kept me going over the Christmas period. For anyone who may be on their own or if you can spend ten minutes conversing with other lovely people, Join in is a must.
An amazing use of social media for good!
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And i'd do anything to have my friend back.
But those who are bereaved by suicide want to talk about the people we've lost without judgement & without focusing on the end of their life.
He was a good man who helped me enormously & an amazing parent. That's how I remember him.
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Thank you to everyone who has sent messages, gifts, cards & thoughtful wishes since losing Sweep.
I miss him terribly. I will be ok & im grateful to have had him for so long. But for now, my heart is heavy.
My love & thoughts are with all of you experiencing loss right now 🙏
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Yesterday we almost lost sweep.
Three visits to vet during the night & yesterday. Last visit the vet said give him 24 hours just on the small chance he may recover but he is 17...
This morning he's emptied my bag, run up & down the stairs and annoyed everyone.
He's not normal 😂
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Still missing sweep every day. I think about him all the time.
But we do have a new addition to our family arriving at the end of January.
Everyone... Meet our 8 month adopted pup - Jessie.
I hope sweep would approve 🙏💙
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This little bugger decided to eat two sets of headphones and a pack of biscuits last night.
He's 16. He needs to grow up... 😂
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A year ago today my good friend tragically took his own life. An incredible man who inspired so many young people.
Losing him made me even more determined to work to prevent suicide.
How?
Ask the question, show compassion, safety plan & help find the hope.
We miss you Steve 💜
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I don't think I can take one more day of young people with acute mental health needs not getting the support they need. Young people attempting suicide because they've shared their pain and then been waiting over 12 months, is not ok.
Awareness is great, but provision is vital.
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'Differences are not intended to separate, to alienate. We are different precisely in order to realize our need of one another.'
- Desmond Tutu
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So this just happenned; I'm sat writing in an Italian cafe when the waitress asks where I'm from & what I do.
An hour later after her spreading the word, I'm speaking to a group of local people about mental health & wellbeing & get a free meal 😂
Absolutely love Italy 🇮🇹
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I've been asked to leave the table at a gathering because I kept fact checking people's points 😂
I've been invited back but on the understanding that I don't ask anyone for evidence to back up their point 🙄
So I'm at the bar. Me and my facts are sharing a beer 🍻
#brexshit
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May we be reminded today that anybody can give an opinion, but it takes real strength & humanity to engage in empathy.
#EmpathyDay
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Did you hear that Elton John has bought a treadmill for his pet rabbit?
It's a little fit bunny.
😂
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Missing Sweep today.
I still expect to see him when I come home. Wish he was here 💙
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I've seen a lot of talk recently on students 'Self regulating'.
Here's the thing...
Many children who've experienced trauma struggle to self regulate for many reasons I'm happy to explain.
So if we are going to talk about self regulation, we must also mention co regulation.
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Best moment of the week:
(names changed)
Talking to y9 about people they admire.
Alice: 'My hero is Michelle Obama because...'
Jordan: 'My hero is Lionel Messi because...'
Me: 'What about you Lee?'
Lee: 'My hero is whoever invented chocolate malted milk biscuits.'
😂😂😂
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I sadly won't be able to attend my grandmother's funeral today. I know so many others are in the same position.
I'll be marking the moment in time with a ginger biscuit & some fond memories.
I felt the need to pay tribute to her again today. Thankyou for allowing me do so 🙏💙
She was an incredible grandmother. My grandparents were my moral compass and I idolised both of them. I can't quite convey in words what incredible people they were. They had such a profound and lasting impact on me. They influence everything I am and everything I do.
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I'm all for awareness I really am.
But can we please be mindful of telling everyone they may have depression, anxiety and/or acute mental health needs when often people are experiencing adaptations & reactions to the circumstances they face/d.
Lets Humanise not pathologize 🙏
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My daily routine to help process things has been to sit on the step in my garden with my brew and just enjoy the silence.
Those of you triggered by my shade of brew should know this... One squeeze of teabag and loads of milk is always best 👌
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Tonight this old man celebrates his 18th new year!
We thought last year would be his last one, but he keeps surprising us.
Sweep would like to wish you all a very happy new year in his own words 🙄😂🎉🐶
#happynewyear2020
#NewYearsEve
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Today I visited 3 families who had no electric & hardly any food in the cupboards. All sanctioned by DWP due to mental illness. These parents were so upset that they are unable to buy their kids presents.
So thankful to friends & colleagues who raised £800, donated gifts & food
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ACE's aren't separate to trauma.
I've seen traumatic experiences dismissed because they aren't 'Official ACE's' several times.
Lets be clear. An event is categorised as traumatic according to the impact on that person.
E.g - divorce could actually be beneficial to a child
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Why working from home when you live with sweep is a nightmare 😂
Exhibit A
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Well everyone...
Jessy has arrived.
A bit bigger than we were expecting. She's very energetic, very affectionate and taking time to rest after a long journey.
Thinking of sweep but glad to welcome Jessy 💙
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Sweep is 18 tomorrow! 🎉🎉🎉
He still whinges non stop, runs around the room, gets into mischief and demands everyone's full & constant attention. But I wouldn't have it any other way.
He makes me laugh every single day 🤦♂️😂
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Just received an email from a former student who had such a difficult start in life and today he graduates with a 2:1 from university in psychology.
I couldn't be prouder.
#Loveourcareleavers
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We should ask children about their dreams and aspirations. But I've always wondered why we are obsessed with professions.
Wouldn't it be interesting if we focused more on asking children who they want to be, rather than what job they want to do?
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Did you know you can tell an ants gender by putting it in water?
If it sinks, it's a girl ant, but if it floats it's buoyant.
😂😂😂
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Dear friends of twitter,
On my phone there's a folder of things my students, colleagues & many of you have said about/to me, saved for a day when hope is hard to come by.
Today I really needed it & I wanted to thank you for your kindness and for helping me find that hope x
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Turns out that the birds I enjoyed listening to every day I worked from home, are not actually in the hedge outside...
They're in the attic 😂
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For those that don't know sweep, he's 17 and still behaves like a puppy.
He's just managed to eat 4 bags of crisps and leave me the wrappers.
Unbelievable.
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I cry everytime I hear or see Joe Biden. He reminds me so much of my grandfather. Thoroughly decent, empathetic, compassionate & thoughtful.
Tomorrow, for the first time we also get to say 'Madam vice president'.
I'm so glad I was alive to witness tomorrow.
Hope 🙏💙🌍🇺🇲
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Anyone else finding it hard to fit reducing plastic waste, fighting far right nationalism, shouting about child poverty & cuts to education, health, children and social care as well as pushing back against big data & combat climate change into their day?
Asking for a friend.
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As a teacher, I'm usually able to decipher children's stories. But can someone help me with this?
Donald in year 3 has written something about coal and I have no idea what he's talking about...
Here's the transcript of Trump's remarks at a New York fundraiser last week about coal and windmills.
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People who have died by suicide are in immense pain and distress. They have often battled for long periods of time.
The label of selfish and the stigma attached to suicide needs to change.
It's devastating and leaves people with many questions and mixed emotions for sure...
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My favourite teacher at school was Mrs Turtle.
Strange name but she tortoise well.
😂
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Germany feels like a second home for me. Berlin is my favourite place in the entire world.
I'm so sorry for the fascist vile spewed by a small minority of us.
Sending love to all my German friends and colleagues 🇩🇪
Wir lieben dich Deutschland!
#WeHeartGermany
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It's impossible to get any work done at home when you have a dog like sweep 😂
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To understand is not to excuse behaviour, but to separate the behaviour from the child. I'm yet to meet an adult that didn't need to be granted a 2nd chance at some point. In fact I needed about 20...
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They taught us so many valuable lessons:
- Never judge anyone.
- Forgiveness is a strength.
- Equality & fairness are worth fighting for
- Everyone has value
- Love even when it's painful
- Always be kind
- Ginger biscuits are the best
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I've worked with three young people this week alone, who attempted suicide due to significant distress around their sexuality.
We've come a long way but one thing they all said struck me. 'People presume everyone is heterosexual so it's hard.'
Adults - Our language must evolve
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'Grown ups don't hide under blanket dens.'
Umm...
1- Blanket dens rock.
2 - I never claimed to be a grown up
3 - Watch you don't trip over the fairy lights on the way out
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As I had my 1st dose vaccine today I thought of the many people who lost their lives in the last 12 months.
I promise to use this opportunity that science has gifted me to live well and fully. For them.
Here's to science, international collaboration and hope 💙🙏
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I love my job. I'm very, very fortunate to work in both education and health.
But knowing that you don't have enough resources or support for people, every single day, at such a basic level, exhausts me.
To be honest, I often feel so hopeless and I know I'm not alone.
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When we discuss children 'Self regulating' we must understand this;
Many children who've experienced trauma struggle to self regulate for many reasons. Many say they lack the 'ability' or 'skill'. But they actually lack experience of co regulation.
Skills stem from experiences
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There's not a day that goes by where I don't count my blessings. And today a childhood dream has come true.
I've been fortunate enough to spend a night in positano.
Somewhere I've always dreamt of going since I was young.
I'm concerned my life may have peaked 😂
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May I just politely and gently suggest...
Being 'trauma informed' is an ongoing process. Many provisions have achieved an 'accreditation' recently. Yet there's a lot of retraumatizing going on.
An accreditation is a snapshot in time. Constant reflection & review is EVERYTHING
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When we discuss children 'Self regulating' we must understand this;
Many children who've experienced trauma struggle to self regulate for many reasons. Many say they lack the 'ability' or 'skill'. But they actually lack experience of co regulation.
Skills stem from experiences.
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What if we did awareness differently?
Instead of posters with lists of symptoms, talk of chemical imbalances & awareness everywhere, we...
Created a more compassionate society, increased community support & didn't frame everyone's distress as illness?
#WorldMentalHealthDay
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I dont believe it...
Jessy is on her way to us as we speak. They sent this video before she left. I've only gone and got another singing dog 😂🤦♂️
This is sweeps doing I swear...
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Once again, trying to find a young person a psychiatric intensive care bed that's less than 130 miles away is almost impossible.
This government should hold their heads in shame for putting young people & their families through this brutality at a time of immense distress.
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This happenned to a friend of mine. Heartbreaking but beautiful...
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Can we please stop using the word 'resilience' in an initial conversation about someone's distress.
Listen & appreciate the problem they face first. Hold the space. They don't always need moving on in that instance.
Listen in order to understand.
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@ReadingExplorer
I'm so sorry you were treated this way John.
I hope that now and in time, you are able to be the most authentic version of yourself. Love Is love my friend. And you're deserving of it. Take good care x
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Colleague; "I heard banging in your office earlier. Everything alright or are you moving your furnature around AGAIN?"
Me: "Yeah, I moved the seats again!"
How could I tell them it was actually me trying to break into a Terry's chocolate orange?! 😂
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