Dr. X ⚕️🩺
@MichaelCletus17
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𝑴𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕 (5/6)🩺💉 || 𝑴𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒓 || 𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒔𝒆𝒂 𝒇𝒂𝒏 💙 || 𝑨𝒏𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓
Medical School
Joined August 2022
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You want to bring back doctors from the diaspora but are you aware that a doctor who came back from diaspora to serve her fatherland has been kidnapped along with her nephew for over 7 months.
20 medical students and some doctors were kidnapped yesterday at Benue and a ransom of
FG unveils plans to bring back 12,400 japa doctors.
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John referring to himself as the disciple whom Jesus loved most in a book he wrote himself:
The Bible is a serious book. But it does have some funny moments in there, you gotta admit. What moment in the Bible do you find funny or makes you laugh?
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"Next semester, I'm going to read every slide as soon as it drops on the group chat"
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There's no difference between the South African that says Chidimma Adetshina should be deported because of her father's roots and the Nigerian that says Gbadebo Rhodes-Vivour shouldn't be Governor of Lagos because his mother is Igbo.
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Doctors seeing that no one can afford an apple a day anymore
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If I catch Ben Carson, wetin I go do am ehhhh...
Guyyyyyyyyyy, oil company’s entry level salary is over 700k monthly
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*Pharmacology exam
What are the adverse effects of (drug name)?
Nausea, Vomiting, Diarrhea:
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Nobody suffers in Nigeria like the person who insists on doing the right thing.
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@dannytito23
Or John 20: 3, where he made sure to write about how he outran Peter to the tomb. Like bro, I'm loved most and I'm faster than you.
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I will probably get spite for this...
It just doesn't make sense that the same convention that these students were going for is still holding almost like this kidnap never happened.
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Consultant: When I was a medical student, we used to come to the hospital before 8AM and leave by 6PM
Me: Let's worship him now, I say president🫱 general🫲 among the nations 💪✊
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Respectfully, I am calling out the Federation of Catholic Medical students (FECAMDS)
Why is the convention still going on?
Why am I seeing clips of this event on the socials?
It had me second guessing myself if these students were actually kidnapped for a minute
I will probably get spite for this...
It just doesn't make sense that the same convention that these students were going for is still holding almost like this kidnap never happened.
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Stethoscope is now 11K, in case you see me wearing it outside the hospital, no question my sanity biko, ice na ice
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Consultant opens mouth
Medical student starts writing into jotter that will never be read again:
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Me and the boys at the UNMSA Dinner....
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*Consultant cracks a very dry joke
I and my colleagues just because we need his signature:
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POV: Ward round
Consultant looks at radiograph, hands me radiograph to make my interpretation
Me pretending like I understand what I'm seeing:
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Nobody:
Medical students at morning reviews and departmental clinical conferences:
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Me cuts plaster for my SR...
Me in my logbook: observed and assisted for nasogastric intubation
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I think our universities should grant us one chance to change our profile picture on the school portal.
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If I divide my money into three, the malnutrition that will follow will not be welcomed by wellcome classification. They will have to create special group for it.
Yup! You should keep your emergency funds separate from your savings and your savings separate from your long-term savings. 👍
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Dear God please, these students and doctors were on their way to serve you at FECAMDS convention. I believe you are working out the answer.
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Consultant watching you examine your patient from the left hand side of the bed.
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Before we look outward to criticize, let's look inwards within ourselves
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When you leave the hall and find out you wrote an essay on hemostasis instead of homeostasis
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Others: chasing the bag
Medical student: chasing signatures
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Let's worship him now (med school edition)
Consultant: When I was a medical student, we used to come to the hospital before 8AM and leave by 6PM
Me: Let's worship him now, I say president🫱 general🫲 among the nations 💪✊
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Apparently, a medical student is an unpaid 9-5 worker and a house officer is an underpaid 9-5 worker.
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One side of medical school no one talks about is being so busy you can't watch your favorite shows/anime when they're released. You just have to forsake it for your academics.
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Her boy:
Ever since I met this boy my breasts have not known peace
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Morning before exam, they will still post:
Preparation: 0%
Composure: 100%
Medicine culture shock: Most medical students never admit that they are studying.
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First stage of grief when you realize your logbook is missing
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Med school just keeps taking, man. Your time, your hair, your beard, everything...
medicine has taken so much from me than it has actually given
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If I don't use book and kill myself this weekend, I'll have to commit academic seppuku by Monday
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Nobody:
My brain cells coming together to remember the Glasgow coma scale:
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It hurts that even if this guy comes to my uni, I'll be at the teaching hospital doing "... anicteric, acyanosed..."
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Ta-da
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I think I speak for everyone when I say, no medical student has ever seen a house officer as inferior.
Medical student today, you'll be a doctor tomorrow and a medical student will also see you as inferior because you're just a House Officer.
Na so life dey, e go soon be your turn.
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Widal test
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If I don't use book and kill myself this weekend, I'll have to commit academic seppuku by Monday
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A medical student once said: better a sincere sleep than a hypocritical study
A medical student once said: Yesterday's stuff cannot suffice for today's percussion.
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Consultant go use "this group is so unserious, this the worst group ever" whine your group but no fear na wetin him tell last group
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Me as a medical student trying to explain to family and friends that I have to come to the hospital everyday with the doctors and rotate through different specialties but that doesn't mean that I have specialized, I'm not even a doctor yet.
Explaining how med school works to non-medical families is a workout on its own. The struggle is real
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Amartem softgel N2800, even plasmodium no go believe 😞
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"Who clerked "I will not
this patient" sign
your logbook"
So make I follow una chase consultant for signature? Wetin go come do my steeze? My composure?
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As a med student, 70% of your time in the hospital is you realizing that you know nothing
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Chemist: Should I add paracetamol?
Me:
Amartem softgel N2800, even plasmodium no go believe 😞
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"Madam what brings you to the hospital today?"
"Fever. Only fever"
Consultant shows up and complaints magically starts appearing from nowhere.
"Sir, it's a lie. It's not just fever. This leg has been paining me for the past 3 years"
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Case study...
Med school just keeps taking, man. Your time, your hair, your beard, everything...
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For me, 3rd MB is the hardest exam so far in medical school. Very horrible experience. You go jus wake up, you never baff, you never chop, you no even check whether you dey breathe... You go jus carry book begin jack.😭
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I tell you many Nigerians do not know the importance of a defibrillator. If they did, they'd stone our politicians. In a cardiac arrest, CPR won't save your life without a defibrillator and people can't even do the basic CPR. You are just one medical emergency from dying here.
Lost my friend turned brother on 13/12/2023 to a heart attack, he stood a chance of surviving if only the hospital he was rushed to had a Defibrillator. About a month later i landed in Frankfurt airport to find that each room in the airport had a defibrillator. Airport o
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Sometimes, I think of how beautiful my induction pictures will look and smile. That's one of the things keeping me going now.
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I will clerk, I will clerk
I will clerk, I will clerk ooooo, if I no clerk, Conso will make mess of me😭
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When you finish Pediatrics posting:
If you measure your head circumference right after Pediatric posting, you will notice an increase
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Nothing is more humbling than medical school. That 45 after shouting "Fear my comeback" will humble you.
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The way med students hunt for patient to clerk is like a predator - prey scenario
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That period around the fourth/fifth year of medical school where you see your friends in other departments graduate before you.😪
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You can take a consultant's clerking and present to another consultant and that consultant will definitely find something wrong in it
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So make I follow una chase consultant for signature? Wetin go come do my steeze? My composure?
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The way med students hunt for patient to clerk is like a predator - prey scenario
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June 2023, we lost three medical students to the cold hands of death due to negligence
August 2023, it was Dr Vwaere Diaso who died in an elevator accident. To the best of my knowledge, said elevator hasn't been repaired till date after vague promises were made
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@GreatDeximal
See how this one trying to sound like he's educated. Most of you will be just like Hitler if placed in a position of power.
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MBBS XY should date the MBBS XX and I will die on this hill
“You don’t love me anymore” khe, I’m preparing for MB boboyi
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Performed my first phlebotomy today, y'all. The patient's vein been wan whine me but I no panic.
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The last time I had a good 2 months academic break was back in secondary school.
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Hi.
I'm Michael, 500L medical student, University of Nigeria. I'd love to connect with other medical students and doctors on this platform.
Hi Doctors!!!
This is a tweet to connect and network
Quote this tweet with a short bio so other Doctors can find you!!!
#DoctorsHangout
#TGIF
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@FabrizioRomano
@victor_nahe
"Mummy, let's go to Mr. Biggs"
"Don't worry, we have rice at home"😂😂😂
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For those who don't know, Oji River has:
Oji River Police Division
Oji River Area Command
There is also a police training school in Oji River
If this could happen in a town with heavy police presence then we're not safe anywhere
If you have a sister at the Oji river school of health, kindly call her to be sure she's safe.
Fulani herdsmen invaded that health facility and kidnapped a good number of them.
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Like this tweet if you are doing it for the money or you felt inspired by Ben Carson or you were the smartest in your class so you felt it was apt for you
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Make I do "I present my patient..." finish follow you dey talk?
Med students (people studying mbbs) overrate themselves too much 😂😂😂
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Other people: say cheeeseee😁(takes picture)
Medics: say ninety-nineeeee
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How do you even clerk excessive yawning. Imagine the scenario when you are presenting it to Conso...
PC: Excessive yawning
Conso:
I yawned excessively so that day I took myself to a doctor cos it had become abnormal to me. The doctor asked what’s the issue; I responded I yawn 30 to 50 times a day, even when I am not tired or hungry. The doctor said in his years of practice he had never seen a patient
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Not my chest tho. My back...
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