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Melvin of York Profile
Melvin of York

@MelvinofYork

Followers
17K
Following
270K
Statuses
32K

sometimes I convince myself that the world is merely an elaborate video game and the player controlling me is a total noob

Slums of Atlantis
Joined July 2010
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@MelvinofYork
Melvin of York
7 years
Why yes internet stranger, I have tweets that contradict each other. It's a timeline, not a deposition
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@MelvinofYork
Melvin of York
2 hours
RT @Quartzjixler: Would milady care for all Pterodactyl dinosaur chicken nuggets? You know the edges get *very* crisp... *chef's kiss*
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@MelvinofYork
Melvin of York
2 hours
RT @Quartzjixler: Missionary so we can convert indiginous peoples to our religion. I'm not sure I understand this format.
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@MelvinofYork
Melvin of York
2 hours
RT @Quartzjixler: Remember Toni Basil, whose hit "Mickey" charted in December 1982? She's 81 years old. Good morning!
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@MelvinofYork
Melvin of York
2 hours
RT @Quartzjixler: A.A. Milne's real name was Alcoholics Anonymous Milne.
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@MelvinofYork
Melvin of York
2 hours
RT @jaimiealley: this is your daily reminder to unclench your jaw
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@MelvinofYork
Melvin of York
1 day
RT @deloisivete: My kid just mumbled “frogs are crazy” In his sleep and now I need to know what’s happening in his dream
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@MelvinofYork
Melvin of York
1 day
RT @stacywawa1: Think you take a long time to make decisions? I just found a 3yo tweet in my drafts
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@MelvinofYork
Melvin of York
1 day
RT @the_anastasia: God grant me the witchcraft to change the things I cannot accept.
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@MelvinofYork
Melvin of York
2 days
RT @Wouldneveragain: “Can we just fucking not?”- me 85% of the day.
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@MelvinofYork
Melvin of York
2 days
RT @Wouldneveragain: This beer tastes like I’m glad there’s 10 more.
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@MelvinofYork
Melvin of York
3 days
RT @Daaeismyname: [at the doctors office] I would like to know if taking probiotics is like sending an elven army to destroy the orcs
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@MelvinofYork
Melvin of York
3 days
RT @HourLongSauce: Whipped cream frosting will ruin a cake and that is a hill I will die on.
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@MelvinofYork
Melvin of York
3 days
RT @traciebreaux: My bank account just slapped me three times and said “get ahold of yourself”
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@MelvinofYork
Melvin of York
3 days
if you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first, you look ridiculous
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@MelvinofYork
Melvin of York
3 days
have you ever wanted to be in a crowded room where everybody is selling, nobody is buying, and there's a sickly aura of desperation? a networking event might just be your thing
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@MelvinofYork
Melvin of York
4 days
RT @NotTodayEric: Sorry I didn’t hear a word you said I was distracted by your uneven hoodie strings.
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@MelvinofYork
Melvin of York
4 days
RT @NotTodayEric: Might back into a parking space today to see what it feels like to be annoying.
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@MelvinofYork
Melvin of York
4 days
RT @LurkAtHomeMom: The problem with self checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.
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@MelvinofYork
Melvin of York
4 days
RT @LurkAtHomeMom: *writes down password on a random envelope* This should be fine.
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@MelvinofYork
Melvin of York
5 days
RT @AnneHatfieldVO: Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.
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