Paul Mayhew-Archer
@MayhewArcher
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Co-wrote Vicar Of Dibley. Has Parkinson's. Still laughing. Performing to raise money for Parkinson's charities.
Joined March 2016
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Awful news about Tim Brooke-Taylor, all round Goodie and finest ever player of Mornington Crescent. I'd like us all to sing For He's a Jolly Good Fellow to the tune of We'll Meet Again, accompanied by Colin Sell on the piano and a host of angels on Swanee Whistles and Kazoos.
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"May I give you a hug?" said a woman after one of my shows. "My husband has gone into a home because of his Parkinson's and my son died of cancer two years ago, and yet somehow you have made me laugh at both illnesses. Thank you."
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Huge thanks to Broadcasting Press Guild for naming us "Podcast of the Year". A year ago Movers and Shakers didn't exist. Now we've made 36 episodes. And people think People with Parkinson's are slow!
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Whatever other honours Captain Tom Moore receives and deserves for his astonishing walk, I agree with those who say he's clearly the "BBC Sports Personality Of The Year".
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Thrilled to see my Edinburgh show about comedy and Parkinson's is a Top ticket in "The Times". Celebrated by having an hour long bath. Well, ten minutes in the bath and fifty minutes trying to get out.
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Today is
#WorldParkinsonsDay
. At last. A day when I can stop worrying about Corona Virus, and worry about my own incurable illness instead. My
@BBCRadio4
appeal on behalf of
@CureParkinsonsT
is on Easter Sunday at 7.54am and 9.25pm. Please listen and RT. A cure would be nice.
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Tour done. Thanks to
@BerksNest
, the venues,
@ParkinsonsUK
, the old and new friends who put us up and everyone who came and laughed. Above all, huge thanks to my family and especially my wonderful Julie. I've loved every moment.
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Dear Dopamine
I know your numbers are dwindling but hang in there - and by there I mean my brain. I think some other brains may have found a way to send reinforcements. I'll try to keep us entertained as we wait.
Best
Paul
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How far would you go to see a comedy show? A Movers and Shakers fan says "my lovely husband has offered to drive me 140 miles to see Paul's Incurable Optimist at the Woodmead Halls in Lyme Regis on 14 April ! " So I've bought them 2 tickets from ticketsource.
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I co-wrote
@vicarofdibley1
for super
@Dawn_French
. Now I live with Parkinson's which sometimes causes me to drool a bit. So join me in Cambridge on Aug 23 for show I nearly called "From Dibley to Dribbly". Proceeds to splendid
@CambBranchPUK
Tickets at:
Coming to
@FitzwilliamColl
Cambridge on Aug 23
@MayhewArcher
to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the local Parkinson's branch! Find out more & grab tickets for £20:
#cambridge
#cambridgecomedy
#Parkinsons
#charityevent
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Gobsmacked congrats to Daisy May,
@charliecooper11
@tomgeorgefilm
@PaulChahidi
, all cast and crew and our beloved
@SimonMAlikesyou
. To think Julie and I co-produced the producer of this wonderful, hilarious, heart-breaking show. WTAF!!
Don't know what to say. Incredible. Thank you, everyone. And if we're helping to keep everyone inside, then "I'm absolutely delighted"!
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Please please watch the two part
@BBCTwo
documentary "The Parkinsons Drug Trial - a Miracle Cure?" Humanity at its finest. Bravo to all involved. I was left with tears in my eyes and hope in my heart.
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Huge thanks to all who gave to my
@BBCRadio4
appeal on behalf of the great
@CureParkinsonsT
. Just announced it raised £104,061 which may be a record. Julie says it's because it was on Easter Sunday after The Queen's message to the nation so I had her Majesty as my warm up act.
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21. Parkinson's is caused by a shortage of Dopamine. But something that releases Dopamine is chocolate. The more chocolate you eat the more dopamine you release so when I was diagnosed I took the family to Cadbury World to celebrate.
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9. Went to a school to give an "inspirational" talk to Year Ten students. Lovely day outside as 180 fifteen year olds trooped into the gloomy hall. The Head of Year introduced me by saying "I know none of you want to be here. Frankly neither do I. But here's Paul Mayhew-Archer."
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Thank you to my wonderful audiences. We had a collection for Parkinsons UK and Maggie's cancer support at the end of each show and you gave nearly £5,500.
You are so kind. Hurrah!!!!!
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Julie and I are keeping cheerful by remembering the funny moments from our lives. I'll share one a day.
1. Julie's mum was Mrs Malaprop reborn. "My neighbour's gone into hospital," she told us once "Two Paralympics came and picked her up."
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Final show. Thanks to my lovely audiences,
@BerksNest
, the super flyerers,
@FollowTheCow
,
@gabyjerrardpr
,
@casarottoramsay
,
@MaggiesCentres
,
@PUK
, all my new Parky-pals and, above all, dearest Julie, Simon and Emily. One of the best months of my life.
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You know that moment when a toddler topples over and can't decide whether to laugh or cry? My whole life has been full of those moments. Luckily, I've almost always decided to laugh.
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So proud of our boy
@SimonMAlikesyou
for producing
@BBCThisCountry
. Perfectly judged from beginning to beautifully touching end. Well done to every member of the cast and crew.
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2 Aged five, Simon loved wearing his Batman costume. I dressed up as his companion and at Christmas we ran round the neighbourhood delivering cards. He was so small people looking out of their windows couldn’t see him. They just saw a strange man running past, dressed as Robin.
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Saw
@miketindall13
's dear dad on
@BBCBreakfast
talk about Parkinson's & exercise. Then Julie made me exercise by hoovering the house. She just shouted "if I stand on the stairs I can see all the bits you missed." I shouted back "Stand somewhere else then."
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Aww. That's my boy. And my boy's boy.
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The Vicar of Dibley has been self-isolating in the confectionary aisle of her local supermarket. But tonight she's on
@BBCOne
Big Night In with a little message for us all. Please watch. Please give. Please retweet.
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11. Years ago at a buffet lunch I chose the chicken. I helped myself to veg and stuffing, then poured rice pudding all over it, thinking it was bread sauce. Naturally I didn't want to look an idiot so pretended I'd meant to do it. People stared as I tucked into my 'yummy' meal.
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Join
@RealTimVine
and me
@MayhewArcher
for the free on April 22nd. To get yourselves match-fit, try my exercise class, described by one neurologist as "utterly irresponsible."
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22. I joined a book group and found I was the only man in the group. A year later one of the women asked if she could bring a male friend along. The leader said "Of course not. This is a women's book group." The others said "But what about Paul?" She replied "Paul doesn't count."
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Up to
@edfringe
tomorrow. Whopping thanks to
@BBCTheOneShow
,
@parkinsonsuk
,
@janeygods
,
@BerksNest
,
@casarottoramsay
,
@gabygerrard
@unicorncinema
,
@MaggiesCentres
, all who've sent a kind tweet, my perky Parky Pals and beloved Julie,
@SimonMAlikesyou
&
@ArcherEmily
. Here we go!!
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At recent
@WorldPDCongress
I went to a session on Apathy and tiredness. Only 3 people with Parkinson's turned up and one of us nodded off. But I'll be wide awake for my show at
@WorcFestival
in Worcester on Aug 17 with Colin Sell from
@ISIHACLUE
. Tickets from Eventbrite.
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I've just watched my life flash before me. Does this mean I am dead?
Do watch it. It is truly brilliant.
.
@MayhewArcher
's
#Parkinsons
story is captured brilliantly by artist Ian Bruce in this mix of animation and art:
#ParkinsonsIs
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Julie and I are now self-isolating. Well I say that. Julie’s idea of self- isolating is going to Tesco’s with her gloves on.
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Thrilled to be on 'The One Show' tonight, Friday, alongside the brilliant Stephen Mangan.
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looking forward to performing Incurable Optimist in Lyme regis on April 14th. Remaining tickets from ticketsauce. Whoops. Ticket source
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Looking forward to being on BBC Breakfast tomorrow morning. Given how long it takes me to shave I'd better be up at 5am.
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Hope you enjoy my little
@OneShow
film about Set dancing tonight at 7pm. Sorry I won't be on the sofa. Offered to bring my own sofa. Advice to everyone with Parkinson's - "Keeeeeeeeep dancing".
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Sad to learn that Frank Pickle has sent his apologies and gone to that great committee meeting in the sky. A joy to work with the wonderful John Bluthal. Adored his performance in the episode when Frank came out on Radio Dibley and no-one was listening.
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14. A very local radio station in Abingdon once broadcast a phone-in where nobody 'phoned in. At one point I said to Julie "We ought to 'phone in." “Really?” she said. "It'll be funnier if we don't." So we didn't and the programme went on for two hours without a single call.
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Below is a video of my frankly jaw-dropping 2.6 Challenge. Despite having Parkinson's for 9 years I went head to head against a younger, fitter relative. Watch the drama unfold, then find out why the result is so controversial by going here:
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The
@BBCRadio4
appeal on behalf of
@CureParkinsonsT
went out after the Queen's Easter broadcast. A friend congratulated me on having her as my warm up act. You can now hear the appeal on
@BBCSounds
until April 18. Here's a link:
Thank you.
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13. A recent moment. The virus has halted many TV productions so we’ve noticed lots of old shows popping up on the telly. Julie said yesterday “My God, they’re scraping the bottom of the barrel with some of these repeats. Now’s your chance to get them to repeat some of yours.”
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Whoops. I meant to say "incredibly moving" to be in the studio with Richard. The Parkinson's means i have very little control over my fingers so duck knows what I'll writhe in the future.
incredibly loving to be in the studio with Richard as he told listeners he has Parkinson's. He's a wonderful broadcaster with terrific humour. I wish him all the best.
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25. Julie and I were discussing dementia. "It's names that go first," she said. "Like Penny. She started forgetting names and then in the end she forgot everything."
"Penny?" I said.
"Yes. You know. The woman down the road."
"Jenny," I said. "Her name was Jenny."
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10. The
@BBC
has a list of the most offensive words. Years ago, I asked for a copy of the list. I was told it would be faxed through to me at home. Moments later our nine year old son, Simon, was surprised to see a torrent of filth pouring out of our fax machine.
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27. Julie's mum once said to me, out of the blue, "Paul, how many bites do you have on your floppy dick?"
"I'm sorry?" I replied.
"You know. For your computer," she added.
I told Julie about her mum's malapropism.
"That's no malapropism," she said. "That's a naughty old woman."
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This Wed (12th) I'm doing my show in Cirencester . Last few tickets from Cirenstroudpuk
@Yahoo
.com Tel 07780 994765. Lots of jokes about Parkinson's and doing Moversandshakerspod
@Moversand6
with
@ruskin147
@MarkIMardell
@LaceySolymar
@nickmostyn
& Jeremy Paxman
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No, no, no, no, yes! I'm taking my show "Incurable Optimist" on tour. I even have a website: You can find out where I'm going and you can buy tickets. Golly.
Can anyone give me a lift from Leicester to Hexham on May 31st?
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Very moved by
@BBCRoryCJ
Cellan Jones’ report on
@BBCBreakfast
about donating his brain to
@ParkinsonsUK
research. I’m donating my brain . My wife Julie is also donating her brain. They need non Parkinson's brains so they can study the differences. Please consider donating.
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Special thanks to the bakers who made the special cake for my 'last night' party. Sarah and Diane Bunn - I kid you not - are brilliant, so if you're anywhere near Newcastle, go to "Cakes classes and Cutters" in Gosforth.
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Two weeks into self-isolation. I find that cracking jokes stops me cracking up. I've videoed some. You can find them here:
Hope they amuse. Thanks to
@CureParkinsonsT
for uploading them.
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18. Julie and I are vegetarians. On holiday in Italy we would go into restaurants and say in our best Italian "no meat." After three days of horrified looks from waiters we discovered that our best Italian was very bad Italian indeed, and what we were saying was "nothing dog."
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35. When Simon was 14 I took him to see a 15 Certificate film. I looked so guilty that the manager refused to let us in. "You idiot,"Simon muttered as we left, "I've been getting into 15s with my mates since I was 12."
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I used to put words in the mouth of The Vicar Of Dibley. On Sunday I'm putting some in my own mouth as I give the
@Radio4
appeal on behalf of
@CureParkinsonsT
. 7.54 am or 9.25 pm on Easter Sunday. Surely no better day to give us hope! Info at . Please RT.
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32. A few years ago a man rang. "I book lecturers for cruise ships," he explained. "The chap who does the comedy lectures is ill and I need someone for next week. I have asked literally everyone and I'm really scraping the bottom of the barrel, but are you available?"
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Not a flicker of a smile. Children are so often your harshest critics, wouldn't you say, Simon?
Shouldn’t let a 5 month old watch TV...unless it’s your 5 month old and your show.
#ThisCountry
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The reason I haven't tweeted much of late is this. It's also the reason I haven't slept for three nights. The Nightingale Hospital was completed more quickly than this jigsaw. In fact, Breughel painted it more quickly. It's called "Where's the Wally with Coronavirus".
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Still chuckling at the PM candidates' programme - 5 little men perched in mid air. It was like the curtain was pulled back and we saw The Wizards of Brexit for what they really are. Sort Brexit? They can't even sort themselves a sensible seat.
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Just heard
@theresa_may
liken herself to her cricketing hero -"Geoffrey Boycott stuck to it and he got the runs in the end"
I reckon we'll all be getting the runs before this catastrophe is over.
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Loved chatting to wonderful Cariad Lloyd for her
@thegriefcast
podcast. It will be out soon. For me, it was like an hour in therapy, but cheaper.
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6. When Simon was six he had a frisbee. We were close to the house so I said "You'd better give that to me. I'll show you how to throw it." I took it off him, steadied myself, aimed for the bottom of the garden and hurled it into the kitchen window.
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That tweet is so sweet. I am indeed not contagious, but you can catch me every day this week at 5.15pm. Then the adventure is over. I've adored performing at this wonderful festival so thank you
@edfringe
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#thiscountry
Daisy, Charlie, Simon and Tom - Win or lose, you have created a comic masterpiece.
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Julie and i went to Genoa airport y'day to check in for flight home. Told BA flight overbooked so had to be driven to Nice airport for flight 6 hours later. Given meal vouchers, free scenic drive and 250 euros each compensation. What a great day.
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No wonder Dopamine is the brain's happy chemical. It's full of Ho Ho.
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My friend David has sent me this misprint from his son.
Happy Father’s Day dad!
We thought you would prefer a donation to a good cause so we have gone for this e-card and the Cute Parkinson’s Trust.
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In tonight's "Shake with Laughter" I did a joke about erectile dysfunction, and Julie went to buy some smarties so I could take a blue pill that looked like viagra. Unfortunately she was so late getting back I had to take the real thing. Hope you enjoyed the - sorry. Have to go.
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I'm delighted to be presenting the
@BBCRadio4
appeal on behalf of the
@CureParkinsonsT
. You can hear me at 7.54am or 9.25pm on April 12, Easter Sunday. Can't think of a better day to offer hope to people with an incurable illness. Find out more here-
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Loved performing at the
@PUK
Big Comedy Shake Up last night. Terrific turns from
@almurray
and
@DeeringRob
. Deeply moving speech from
@DaveClarkTV
Thank you to all who gave so generously. Hurrah!
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Apologies for failure to tweet my little anecdotes recently. I put my back out. I actually think it is rather noble to injure yourself whilst fundraising for charity. Sadly, I put my back out getting off the toilet so nothing noble about it. New anecdote to follow.
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4 Acting changed my life. At secondary school I started off in the bottom set and boys called me Thicko. Then, when I was 15, I played Ariel in 'The Tempest' and sang "where the bee sucks" in my finest treble voice. No one ever called me Thicko again. They called me Eunuch.
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So
@rubywax
taught me "How to be Human" but not how to use twitter. Big thanks to Sarah at Mostly Books
@mostlyreading
I'm 66 but trying to keep up. I have a website I have a Nationwide tour. I have a bus pass.
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Much news, few words.
My one man show at
@sohotheatre
19th - 23rd March.
Can be heard on
@BBCRadio4
QuoteUnquote Nov 5th & 10th
Went to airport to catch plane. Realised 15.45 doesn't mean 5.45pm. Tried to get huge case through security and on plane as hand luggage. Failed.
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I've just been sent a bowel cancer screening test. It's a form of poo sticks but not as A A Milne described it.
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I'm in
@insideoutsouth
on
@BBCOne
this evening, talking briefly about being cheerful while self-isolating with Parkinson's. 7.30pm in the Southern region, maybe other regions and on iplayer. That's
@Insideoutsouth
or as it should now be known "InsideandbloodywellstayinsideSouth"
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16. I produced a pilot quiz show for
@BBCRadio2
. The winner was so obnoxious that when he won the studio audience booed. The show did not go to series.
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Thanks to
@Museum_Cardiff
for positive response to my complaint. They'd like to take me up on my offer to talk to staff about Parkinson's. Good.
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Just been on lovely
@BBCOxford
about my mad
#twopointsixchallenge
against my grandson in support of
@ParkinsonsUK
@CureParkinsonsT
and
@MaggiesCentres
. If you've not yet seen it and it gives you a giggle, maybe you can give a fiver. Thank you. Go here.
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I was told "Richard's looking for someone to write his new sitcom with. He'd love a chat." So I went for a chat and gave him a list of 6 writers. "They're all great," I said. "O" he said. "But I thought you might like to have a go." Luckiest chat of my career. Thank you, Richard.
@Dawn_French
Just watching The One Show and The Vicar Of Dibley has been voted the Number 10 show as part of the BBC top programmes to celebrate it's 100 years.
Ruddy Marvellous and throughly deserved
#TheVicarOfDibley
#DawnFrench
#RichardCurtis
@MayhewArcher
🤘🏽💜
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They say laughter is the best medicine. Just as well because my pharmacist has run out of Sinemet. Last tickets available
@SueTownsendThtr
30th
@QueensHall
31st
@BarneyWitham
1st and
@ChorleyTheatre
2nd. None left in Oxford. Goodnight.
@MayhewArcher
#Cambridge
brilliant to see you hear you laugh with you thankyou!
#laughterTheBestMedicine
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Just uploaded a photo of myself. That was six hours well spent.
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7. Simon was six and Julie was a parent-helper in his infant class. “Who has some news?” said the teacher and Simon put his hand up. "I have some news," he announced. "We’ve got a terrible smell in our bathroom and mummy and daddy don't know what's causing it."
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I remember you giving me that Fez,
@SimonMAlikesyou
. It made me look ridiculous, so naturally I kept wearing it. Today is indeed
#WorldParkinsonsDay
and here I am, still twatting about as you so eloquently put it.
Today is
#WorldParkinsonsDay
& here is my favourite video of my dad
@MayhewArcher
This was taken just a few months after he’d been diagnosed. Keep twatting about & keep laughing ❤️☀️🌈🍀 (Please forgive the bad video quality, I had a weird Nokia)
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Thank you
@VIPParkinsons
. i appreciate the shout out about
#WorldChocolateDay
. I'd appreciate some actual chocolate rather more.
🍫 Apparently today's
#WorldChocolateDay
🙃 What better excuse for a shout out to our
#1
chocoholic -
@ParkinsonsUK
supporter & brilliant
#Parkinsons
advocate
@MayhewArcher
🍫
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Interviewed on BBC Alba y'day. I'd forgotten to take my tablets, got confused and thought I was going to a radio interview. The VG interviewer introduced me in Gaelic so I don't know what she was saying. Probably "today I'm talking to a complete scruff." Sorry Alba.
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Gosh. Thank you
@almurray
@DeeringRob
,
@DaveClarkTV
. Well done all
@ParkinsonsUK
.
I'll be raising more awareness
@sohotheatre
with my show March 19 - 23. Then on tour.
Over £100,000 was raised from
@ParkinsonsUK
’s
#BigComedyShakeUp
comedy gala in Sept – it wouldn’t have been possible without
@DaveClarkTV
@kaplinskyn
@DeeringRob
@MayhewArcher
@AlMurray
. A massive thank you to everyone involved.
#YouMadeItHappen
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Life amazing. Made podcast for
@bbcouch
y'day with
@JustinWelby
,
@kwelbyroberts
Ellie Welby and writer Frasier Cox. AlI brilliant. Learnt about compassion, depression, Aspergers, Dyspraxia, and also that Justin prefers Father Ted to Dibley. I forgave him. Podcast out on Friday.
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15 At school I was so bad at cricket no captain wanted to pick me. The teacher made me the umpire instead. I had no idea how to signal byes and said a boy was 'Not out' when he was clearly LBW so the teacher told me to leave the field. I think I'm the only umpire to be sent off.
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Dear Parkinson's
On March 19th I'm starting my comedy tour.
@sohotheatre
@GlasgowComedy
@AssemblyRoxy
Edinburgh etc. Come if you like - knowing you, you'll insist - but be warned. I'll take the piss out of you every day.
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Dear Graeme, Please tell me you and your daughter both had loads of chocolate pancakes. Best wishes, Paul.
Finally plucked up the courage to tell my 7yo daughter I have
#parkinsons
.
“Daddy why do you move slowly?”
This is it, I thought…
“ I have something called Parkinson’s. It makes me a little slow and stiff, and shaky sometimes”.
“Oh. Can I have chocolate pancakes?”
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3. At a party, I saw a woman bending over an elderly blind lady, and I heard her whispering “You will see again. Have faith. You will see." She paused. "Can you see?” “No,” said the blind lady. “O,” said the woman, “it doesn’t work with everyone. Have another sherry.”
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29. Our son, Simon, was just one year old. I watched him tottering into the living room, dribbling continuously. As he did so, he passed my 90 year old grandfather tottering out of the living room, also dribbling continuously. Life in a doorway. One coming in. One going out.
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Thrilled to be doing a preview of my
@edfringe
show at the
@battersea_arts
on July 23rd at 7.30
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Loved my day off. Went to see
@TheShowstoppers
. Gobsmackingly brilliant. I'm delighted I commissioned their
@Radio4
series back in 2010/2011
We hope
@MayhewArcher
's enjoying his one day off at
@edfringe
today - his well-deserved rest day! He's halfway through his hilarious show
#IncurableOptimist
, discussing his
#Parkinsons
. Tickets on sale via link below. Get yours while you still can!
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8. Another Malapropism from Julie's mum when she came on holiday with us to Florida. She gazed at the huge apartment blocks and said. "I had no idea so many Americans lived in these giant condoms."
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Spot on. Wonderful character in
@BBCThisCountry
exquisitely played.
Can we all make sure when all the TV awards come round that we make sure that this guy
@PaulChahidi
gets more awards than he can carry. His work on series 3 has been sublime and legendary.
#thiscountry
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17. We've been discussing terrible rhymes in poetry. Julie reminded me of the poem I wrote for Simon's wedding day.
Love has brought us the greatest prize
The dear and adorable Emily
We know we’ll be happy the rest of our lives
as we welcome her into our femily.
Sorry.
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26. Growing up I used to show off by using long words. Why say 'chew' when you can say 'masticate'? The trouble was I got a bit muddled so when I was ten I announced at a big family dinner "Dad's always the last to finish. It's because he masturbates so slowly."
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I'm sorry to say my fund-raising shows in Jersey and Guernsey have had to be postponed. But the Incurable Optimist will be back.
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24. Simon was 3 and staying with granny and grandpa. At bedtime Granny knocked on his bedroom door. "Don't come in, I'm getting undressed," he shouted. A bit later he called "You can come in now," and she went in. He was stark naked. Undressing was rude, not being undressed.
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Thrilled to be part of the first Virtual
#ShakeWithLaughter
for
@ParkinsonsUK
! Join us from your sofa this Monday 13 July from 8pm 💙 Get your tickets now via
@crowdfunderuk
: Please tweet me to take my pills on Monday at 10am 2.30pm and 7.00pm.
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Loved sharing the sofa with you. "The Fight" looks brilliant. And shot in 12 days! With my Parkinson's it takes me 12 days to have a decent shave.
'Maybe I could make a kind of middle-aged mum Rocky.'
@JefficaHoons
wrote, directed and stars in her latest film 'The Fight.'🍿
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