Mapes
@MapesThorson
Followers
2K
Following
14K
Media
1K
Statuses
10K
digger, listener, runner, prince with a swift warning
brooklyn
Joined March 2009
5yo: two girls can get married. me: yes. 5yo: can two boys get married?. me: yes. 5yo: can two grandmas?. me: yes. 5yo: can mario and luigi get married?.
208
1K
43K
for sale: baby shoes, worn 5 times by five different babies; all dead.
27
737
13K
@AsterOlsen trans woman: watch how to open the bags in different brands of cereal because depending on the brand the method of opening the bags is different 😀.
7
26
2K
for once being trans wasn’t my biggest tsa obstacle; multiple MULTIPLE guys in front of me trying to smuggle giant cans of soup.
14
35
1K
pamela paul, former nyt books editor who consolidated power to be the sole decider of which books get mentioned anywhere in its pages, unironically writing about gatekeeping in publishing today in her op ed.
4
76
823
so far my friends elanor, eleanor and esther have liked this tweet.
5
3
607
I literally slipped on a banana peel today and the only witness was the toddler who left the peel on the floor so i tried to explain why it was funny and he was like “no. not funny” and he gave me a hug.
5
8
321
god help me my first thought was I hope she’s wearing sunscreen.
2
4
294
my 3yo took coffee off the menu of her stupid fake restaurant bc according to her I order it too often when we play pretend.
1
1
205
3yo: what’s your middle name?. me: jane. 3yo: ☹️. me: ??. 3yo: you need a pretty girl name 😩. me: like what?. 3yo: pink wallace.
4
12
214
there’s an apt building in brooklyn that is filled with trans tenants and im obsessed.
7
1
182
*adjusts glasses* which one is the woman and which one is the trans.
2
0
175
in high school my friend Logan (a girl) and my other friend Logan (a boy) started dating and found out they were born in the same hospital on the same day, their parents had met in the nursery and one of the Logans had inspired the name of the other Logan.
2
4
183
went to get my covid booster wearing a flannel shirt w/o a bra and they made me take off my shirt… luckily I have such beautiful boobs the whole room started applauding and the nurses took turns giving me high fives otherwise it would have been awkward.
2
3
181
@HarronWawker hate when you meet one guy with the actual last name Grindr and youre stuck adding ‘from’ to all your contacts for the rest of your life 😕.
1
0
161
my 3yo invented this game where she “breaks” and I have to glue her back together and then she sits motionless for a few minutes while the glue dries.
8
4
155
the trans woman who messages dolls on twitter to doll who is messaged pipeline.
7
9
148
day 3 solo parenting w/o childcare while my wife is on a work trip. the children have created a game called ‘baby family’. the three of them pretend to be baby versions of a mama, a dad, and a baby (🤨). all they do is fake cry and fake whine each other. im literally going insane.
5
0
130
preschool teacher: can anyone tell me what a rainbow is?. my daughter: when the sunlight strikes raindrops in the air they act like a prism and form a rainbow the rainbow is a division of white light into many beautiful colors these take the shape of a long round arch with its.
6
8
124
the nyc trans experience is realizing you’re already twitter mutuals with everyone you meet irl.
4
2
111
uh oh the guy sitting next to me on this plane looked at my phone and caught me searching for funny pranks to pull on your seatmate gone sexual.
3
3
121
is your refrigerator running? *chuckles* of course of course; formed an exploratory committee. of course. well you can’t blame us for trying. we gotta ask the *chuckles* of course. but if your refrigerator decides to run we’ll be the first to know? haha. ok so about the ukraine.
3
3
110
@deleteevelyn I have multiple male friends who would probably identify as he/they or they/them, but they can’t get past their own concern of being cis het men inserting themselves into queer/marginalized groups. It’s like a gender catch 22.
6
2
114
@american_sicko Natalie’s grandma: *internal dialogue* when did Agnes, Ethel and Esther get prescribed ketamine??.
0
1
110
@AriDrennen people forget youth sports arent about producing professional athletes the same way they forget a functioning economy isnt about producing billionaires.
4
3
101
me waiting patiently for them to confirm my kindle isnt a bomb while they inspect all this soup.
1
0
102
@ZeroSuitCamus [pitching the 3 shows]. hbo execs: no no it’s actually funny that they’re not funny—it’s meta funny. get it? claire penis will get it.
1
0
93
they are literally passing out free estrogen at this nevada book launch.
1
2
92
i dont understand the appeal of bagel sandwich . 1. bagel is too firm such that each bite threatens to push contents of sandwich out back of sandwich . 2. bagel girth makes sandwich hard to bite for normal sized mouth. 3. bagel wants to be main event, but sandwiches want harmony.
16
3
97
@daughter_ion me: no mario and luigi are brothers . marlena: they’re already family so they can’t get married. 5yo: but you and mom are family. me & marlena: but we’re not sisters.
0
1
94
ok my problem with trying to write honest, accessible trans characters is conceiving of moments in their lives when they’re not tediously preoccupied w being trans.
7
0
85
volunteering in my daughter’s pre-k classroom today, hearing her classmates excitedly talk about how she has two moms as if she were the luckiest girl in the world. that experience will sustain me for awhile ☺️.
4
0
86
my voice when Im alone: [cis woman]. my voice in public: [halo announcer].
2
3
82
i don’t know how successful I am, but my career and all my babies (3!) happened post transition. this meme is for sure accurate, yet I feel obligated to say this future, if you want it, is only almost impossible (and hopefully becoming more possible every day).
1
2
77
as a parent to a 3yo and twins turning 2 next week, and having started my transition before any of them were born, naturally I wonder in what ways is being raised by pair of women, one of whom is cis, fucking with (in a good way 🤞) our kids’ conception of gender .1/♾.
1
6
77
@ZeroSuitCamus people found vince’s chin/jaw too off putting and now that she’s had the reduction she’s suddenly likable?? this society blows 😞.
0
0
78
happy mother’s day to all the trans moms out there parenting on hard mode 🫡 💐💞.
3
5
69
@SnowByrdd personally i dont see any real problem here. fwiw i love this coffee shop and go there all the time, and part of it is bc it’s queer. The sign just reads a little funny bc it feels awkward to see a distinction drawn between women and trans, even though i understand the intent.
2
0
78
it was cool to see the littlepuss booth at the brooklyn book fair completely sell out of emily zhou’s book girlfriends before the day was even half over.
1
2
73
@theErinPaige @StacyCaySlays @iridescentUwU no you make a good (and helpful) point; stacey has a large platform and attracts a lot of early (or pre) transition trans women and statements like that can be so demoralizing. If nothing else it’s nice to have some gentle, visible pushback in the replies. passing discourse is 🫠.
0
0
68
fwiw i cant think of a single trans author I know who doesnt wish they could go back and strike pieces of their published early transition writing from the record.
2
1
61
today ten years ago i havent yet met my wife. hard to believe on oct 16 2013 we didnt even know each other. but tomorrow ten years ago we are going to meet for the first time, have our first date the next week (oct 24), and get married exactly one year after that (oct 24, 2014).
2
0
66
leaving the selfie phase of my transition and entering the photos that happen to also include me phase.
3
2
69
3yo: mom do you like diamonds?. me: i looove diamonds they’re so pretty. 3yo: cool i like triangles.
3
1
64
not to sincere post, but there is a very specific domestic joy in making dinner, eating it with your family, watching them enjoy it, cleaning the dishes and putting the dishes away and leaving the kitchen in a more orderly state than when you began 😌.
5
2
67
oh my god i just used a 25G needle for the first time ever and i cannot believe ive been TORTURING myself with 21G 1.5in for the past half decade wtf is wrong w me. like imagine sticking a single tine of a dinner fork into your thigh muscle once every five days.
6
0
62
pamela paul explaining how queer people relate to queerness is like me explaining how someone could get demoted from being in charge of all nyt books coverage and given a much lower position without any staff to manage.
0
9
62
keep an eye out for more like this in your feed if the recent anti-trans rhetoric continues like it has been.
this fucking “child groomer” paranoia is getting terrifying how are we supposed to feel safe on transit :( @Janeese4DC @BrianneKNadeau @ZacharyforWard5 @mdc_dsa )
2
11
61